COME BACK JONEZIE

pink_fortitude said:
When I started posting 4 years ago there really did seem to be more comradery. There were definitely disagreements, but I don't remember seeing the group attacks like this before a certain group of forum members formed a web-ring. People who rarely post come from the woodwork and join what seems to be a light and fun thread when it's true intent is not missed by the person it is intended for. Unfortunately I have seen it at work behind the scenes years ago. Believe it or not, there are actually people on this forum who email each other, form a "pack" and actually intentionally put down and make other posters feel unwanted. They get a kick out of hurting others and trying to get a reaction out of them because of these "perceived" wrongs. :( I don't understand what makes people behave like this.

Melissa
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Melissa, I really don't know that much about the inter-relationships on this board, but I don't doubt what you are saying is true. It happens on ALL message boards. It seems to be universal behavior for some reason. :(
 
cindi1 said:
Isn't anyone tired yet of discussing the open discussion board? Yes, I'm guilty of reading this stuff - but I'm on a conference call and kind of bored. :)

I wish there were this many posts about other topics.
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Cindi - start a topic. I'll respond, even if it is something I don't know anything about!!!
 
Well, I'll just throw this out...I've been posting on this board for at least 10 years, and the cycles of "drama" (somebody feeling dissed, slighted, victimized, shat upon, offended) whether justified or imagined have been around for that long. This is nothing new.

Maybe all of our cycles are synchronized.

There are thousands of members on this board, and that many different personalities at least (some may have more than one). The idea that everyone is going to get along and play nice all the time is a pipe dream.

Now, somebody pass the Boone's Farm...
 
Liann said:
Augh... puppies in PA!!! Are you trying to increase my herd by posting those links!!! ;)
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I got my puppy in PA, Liann. :D
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I agree

pink_fortitude said:
When I started posting 4 years ago there really did seem to be more comradery. There were definitely disagreements, but I don't remember seeing the group attacks like this before a certain group of forum members formed a web-ring. People who rarely post come from the woodwork and join what seems to be a light and fun thread when it's true intent is not missed by the person it is intended for. Unfortunately I have seen it at work behind the scenes years ago. Believe it or not, there are actually people on this forum who email each other, form a "pack" and actually intentionally put down and make other posters feel unwanted. They get a kick out of hurting others and trying to get a reaction out of them because of these "perceived" wrongs. :( I don't understand what makes people behave like this.

Melissa
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I agree with this. This forum has changed. It really was much friendlier years ago.

I think part of the problem is that some of the posts I read are very reactionary. It feels like someone reads something and then just blurts out their thoughts without any filter or forethought as to how it might affect someone else. This is not a very good communication practice. It typically fans the flames. Whatever happened to a nice healthy debate without the personal innuendos and attacks? What is with all the emotion fueling the arguement? I am not denying anyone's right to express or have feelings, but there is a level of decorum that should be followed out of respect for another person.

I am not innocent either - I have written a few replies in exasperation over the years. BUT I debate the issue or arguement NOT attack the person. Big difference. Go ahead and disagree with my logic or with my point of view, but do not attack me personally or make it personal.

Funny, I highly doubt this would happen in a face to face debate. Anonymity produces such bravery!
 
kryptychyck said:
I think part of the problem is that some of the posts I read are very reactionary. It feels like someone reads something and then just blurts out their thoughts without any filter or forethought as to how it might affect someone else. This is not a very good communication practice. It typically fans the flames. Whatever happened to a nice healthy debate without the personal innuendos and attacks? What is with all the emotion fueling the arguement? I am not denying anyone's right to express or have feelings, but there is a level of decorum that should be followed out of respect for another person.
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I pretty much agree with everything your saying. I've been here since 2006 though and have seen it all through the 4 years I've been here. I just don't think we ever discussed it and gave it this much attention before as we are now. Now, we psycho-analyze every thread and every response. Before, I think people let stuff slide off their back more. Maybe it's a sign of the times - economic turmoil, etc... Or maybe we've all just become drama queens in our old age? :eek:
 
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Lol, never you of course Carrie!!! ;)

One other thing, since I was kind of on a role... I think all this mud slinging and finger pointing is completely counterproductive. Attacking other people as a way of defending someone from being attacked and airing out dirty laundry that has nothing to do with this thread is not going to help anything. It just shows that there has been a lot of gossiping going on for a while on all "sides". And the whole "sides" mentality has got to go. It's just a fitness forum!!! Not Iraq!
 
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I've been a Cathe.com member for a while as well, and I hardly ever post any more. I scan the open discussion every once in a while, but not very often.

To be honest and to be fair, I think the reason the forum was so different back "in the day" was because we were an exclusive lot. You almost had to be referred to Cathe by another exercise nut, and most of us were a bit older, slightly hyper personalities who had a lot of experience taming down our more incendiary urges because we had to learn over the years. In other words - we were a fairly homogeneous lot and had a lot in common. Now, we did not always agree with one another, but we did not go out of our way to disagree either. And those who did post inflammatory remarks (and we had those back then, too) were quickly encouraged to refrain from that habit.

As Cathe grew and her popularity expanded into different market places, more people with differing views came over to Cathe's website. So there are a lot of posts that I am just not interested in (where as before I would read most of them). That's okay - I have a choice of whether to read the posts or even be a member of the boards any longer. I'm sure I have responded to posts that interest me greatly, but for which others have no interest. It's the way it goes as anything and anyone grows.

As for the flame wars - we have such a large population now that if one person posts an inflammatory remark, there is always at least one who thinks, "Hey! I agree!" and backs up the flamer. We are much more diverse and it's tough to have a conversation on anything even slightly controversial without touching a nerve some where. Perhaps we need to make a greater effort in reminding each other that it's okay to disagree, but that we need to do so in a respectful manner. Yes, posts have touch a deep nerve in me. I tend to write out exactly what I feel but don't send it. I revisit in an hour or later and temper it to get across what I want to say in a manner that is not offensive. I don't always succeed, but I know I tried.

Anyway - my apologies for the book. But these are my musings on the subject.
 
Liann said:
Lol, never you of course Carrie!!! ;)

One other thing, since I was kind of on a role... I think all this mud slinging and finger pointing is completely counterproductive. Attacking other people as a way of defending someone from being attacked and airing out dirty laundry that has nothing to do with this thread is not going to help anything. It just shows that there has been a lot of gossiping going on for a while on all "sides". And the whole "sides" mentality has got to go. It's just a fitness forum!!! Not Iraq!
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I hate to break the news, Liann, but "no gossip" and "large groups of women" usually doesn't go in the same sentence :eek: I am not sure about the dirty laundry thing, as was said before, people have a tendancy to think something that was said as a general statement applies to them and them alone.

Aside from that I agree with almost everything Christine (andtckrtoo) said. Particularly the fact that people need to think about what they say before posting, that is something that I need to work on. I have a tendancy to talk (or type) before thinking.
 
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Lol, yeah, there was no call on my part to end gossip. I know that's not going to happen anytime soon. Just calling it for what it was. ;)
 
Liann said:
Lol, never you of course Carrie!!! ;)

One other thing, since I was kind of on a role... I think all this mud slinging and finger pointing is completely counterproductive. Attacking other people as a way of defending someone from being attacked and airing out dirty laundry that has nothing to do with this thread is not going to help anything. It just shows that there has been a lot of gossiping going on for a while on all "sides". And the whole "sides" mentality has got to go. It's just a fitness forum!!! Not Iraq!
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Today is actually the first time and place that I have ever said anything about it. I don't talk to any of the girls that were part of it anymore except for one, and we barely even talk. I have never even shared anything with the girls that have been attacked, and I actually do wish I would have because there have been women who were really hurt. I have never said anything about it to any of the girls I talk to on this forum in the check-in or outside of the forum that I have met here, or the other fitness forum I check-in at and they can vouch for me. You cannot accuse me of any gossip or trying to get something started, of trying to get a group together to get an "us v them" thing going. If I wanted to do that I would have done it years ago, could have done it many times over, and it would be obvious by now. This "dirty laundry" as you call it is out because what has been happening this week was the final straw for me, and I think that those who have been pounced on deserve to know that what they are dealing with and that they aren't paranoid or crazy like they and others are being manipulated with cleverly twisted words into believing. That those who are joining in on the "fun" don't realize that they are actually helping others put down someone. You can call what I said whatever you want, but it's obvious if you look at the pattern of posters, how they post and when they post what's going on. I am not slinging mud, making things up, calling anyone out by name, trying to instigate. I am not standing here with a posse backing me up trying to intimidate someone, start or even win a fight. I am standing here on my own, of my own accord because what has happened is wrong, and hurtful. That is what's got to go!

Melissa
 
fit_fairy said:
Damn it Gayle you weren't supposed to tell anyone :confused:
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I found you....insert freaky music here.....

I think a major problem with email and the internet is you do not hear the inflection in someone's tone.

So someone on the internet may ignite anger in you but the same person could state the very same thing to your face without a bit of anger and it does not affect you at all because you do not hear a tone of anger in their voice (I hope I am making sense).

My husband tells me this all of the time. Be careful what you say in an e-mail because people cannot hear your "tone" hence they may hear what you are saying completely different than how you mean it.
 
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