why is it....

S

SolidNProud

Member
when you do something nice for someone, they always seem to spit in your face and leave you high and dry.

Case in point.

1. Neighbor was out of gas right outside our development. Stop asked if he needed help. Said "I'm out of gas". I said I have some at my house and could give him some. Said "thanks".
Come back with 2.5 gallons of gas. Ask the boys if they could refill the gas can with 1/2 a can (its a 5 gallon jug). They shook their head so I assumed that meant they understood.
Brings me back my gas can EMPTY.
I walk over to their house and say "I think you may have misunderstood me. You need to replace the gas you used. Please fill this up 1/2 way and you can leave it back where you left it before. Guy saids "okay".
Found can. Only put in 1 gallon.

Now this is the difference between me and someone else. If I ran out of gas, and someone brought me some gas, I would at least fill the amount they gave me and maybe even a little more as a thank you.

But to only put in not even what they used....I was a little upset to say the least.
So ladies, I know I shouldn't be upset, but how would you handle the situation. I feel burned.
 
Because ....

... it's a proven fact that no good deed goes unpunished! :D

But seriously, don't lose your faith in doing a good deed. Some people may take advantage, but many more will be grateful and appreciative.
 
I would have filled your gas can and brought you a pan of brownies. We live in a society where not many people would have stopped. The fact that you did and they don't even appreciate it is appalling.

But I agree with PearlStrand. YOU did the right thing. If you had passed them by, you would have felt guilty for a long time. Not everyone is like your neighbor - you just got one of the ignorant ones.
 
Sorry to read this. I would have brought the gas can back full.
I understand your frustration. I have family members who are like this. I wouldn't let selfish people change the generous person you are.
 
My gramma always taught us that if we do a good deed with any expectation attached at all that its really not a good deed! ~ I think what she tried to teach us was that a good deed is like a gift- either do it because it feels good to do it or don't do it at all- (easier said than done!);) Anyway...I just remind myself of that when I feel I got "slighted".

Move on I say- Life is too short to feel irritated/angry- the other person isnt getting wrinkles over it I assure you!:D

SolidNProud said:
when you do something nice for someone, they always seem to spit in your face and leave you high and dry.

Case in point.

1. Neighbor was out of gas right outside our development. Stop asked if he needed help. Said "I'm out of gas". I said I have some at my house and could give him some. Said "thanks".
Come back with 2.5 gallons of gas. Ask the boys if they could refill the gas can with 1/2 a can (its a 5 gallon jug). They shook their head so I assumed that meant they understood.
Brings me back my gas can EMPTY.
I walk over to their house and say "I think you may have misunderstood me. You need to replace the gas you used. Please fill this up 1/2 way and you can leave it back where you left it before. Guy saids "okay".
Found can. Only put in 1 gallon.

Now this is the difference between me and someone else. If I ran out of gas, and someone brought me some gas, I would at least fill the amount they gave me and maybe even a little more as a thank you.

But to only put in not even what they used....I was a little upset to say the least.
So ladies, I know I shouldn't be upset, but how would you handle the situation. I feel burned.
Click to expand...
 
teddy16410 said:
My gramma always taught us that if we do a good deed with any expectation attached at all that its really not a good deed! ~ I think what she tried to teach us was that a good deed is like a gift- either do it because it feels good to do it or don't do it at all- (easier said than done!);) Anyway...I just remind myself of that when I feel I got "slighted".

Move on I say- Life is too short to feel irritated/angry- the other person isnt getting wrinkles over it I assure you!:D
Click to expand...


ITA!! I was taught the same thing.

That said...I would have filled the can before I returned it;)

JJ
 
So, you have learned that your neighbor is either a jerk, doesn't think, maybe both, or maybe he's an idiot. Who knows. You did the right thing by helping them out, and you probably would not help that particular person out again should they run out of gas, but don't let that color your generous nature. Most people would have returned the can full - I know I would have, been profusely thankful, and would have made a gesture of some sort in addition - just a little gift like the brownies mentioned - as an extra thank you. The other person is losing no sleep over it - don't give them the power to let it get to you so much. Easier said than done, I know. I can hold a grudge for a lifetime so I'm a fine one to speak :D
 
teddy16410 said:
My gramma always taught us that if we do a good deed with any expectation attached at all that its really not a good deed! ~ I think what she tried to teach us was that a good deed is like a gift- either do it because it feels good to do it or don't do it at all- (
Move on I say- Life is too short to feel irritated/angry- the other person isnt getting wrinkles over it I assure you!:D
Click to expand...

That is one smart grandma and you know I live by the same credo and teach my kids the same thing.
 
These are the little things that I think need to be let go. When you are kind it hurts when someone takes advantage of that.

I wouldn't do anything. There are people out there that are so oblivious to everything around them except them. There are other people out there that would thank you from the bottom of their hearts, do the right thing, and more.

Some people just don't get it. Obviously this one doesn't. Try not to let it upset you.

I hope you will always be kind when there are opportunities for it, because it makes me, at least, feel good about myself. Don't let this negative experience change you. Most of the time it brings out the best in people, and that is fantastic to see.

Janie
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Well, if you had "given" him the gas and just asked for your gas can back, I wouldn't expect anything since that would have just been "doing a good deed" (any decent person would have filled it back up though), but since you specifically asked for them to replace the gas, then you were only "loaning" him the gas, and I can totally see where you would be ticked off. You weren't doing a good deed with an expectation of being rewarded, you were loaning gas to a neighbor. Nothing to do at this point though except add him to the "list" (and have your dog crap on his lawn). ;)
 
It's hard to take being slighted when you do something nice for someone. Ever hold a door open for a stranger and they just walk through with a look of indifference on their face and don't even acknowledge your gesture? It's a little thing I know, but I hate that!! I agree with the poster who said no good deed goes unrewarded. If it helps, I think you're awesome for going out of your way!:)
 
pebblesus said:
I'd have my dog s**t on his yard a few time :D
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I'm sorry but that is not right - HOWEVER!!! It did make me chuckle ;). It reminds me of when I was a kid & the neighbors dog kept pooping in our yard. My Mom complained all the time about it, we didn't have a dog. So I scooped the poop in a bag & tied it around the dogs neck & sent him home. :rolleyes: Still makes me laugh, although now I know better!!

It was a very nice gesture on your part to help someone in need. I would say next time tell them you have a gas can you would be more than happy to fill for them AFTER they give you $$$ for gas.
The sad part is this may make you think twice before helping someone else out again who would be more appreciative.
 
You did a very nice thing, don't let them ruin it.

Could it be they didn't have the $ for the gas and were too embarrassed to say something?
 
<<So I scooped the poop in a bag & tied it around the dogs neck & sent him home. :rolleyes: Still makes me laugh, although now I know better!!>>

LOL - Love it!!!
:D
 
You did the right thing by offering help and you should continue to do so. Just maybe don't offer to help them again next time:eek:

Too funny about tying the poop bag around the dog's neck. I'll have to remember that the next time I'm rolling around on my lawn playing with my Toddler trying to avoid the poop. I have an indoor cat and can manage to stoop & scoop everyday, how hard can it be for dog walkers?:mad:
 
teddy16410 said:
My gramma always taught us that if we do a good deed with any expectation attached at all that its really not a good deed! ~ I think what she tried to teach us was that a good deed is like a gift- either do it because it feels good to do it or don't do it at all- (easier said than done!);) Anyway...I just remind myself of that when I feel I got "slighted".

Move on I say- Life is too short to feel irritated/angry- the other person isnt getting wrinkles over it I assure you!:D
Click to expand...

Wise words to live by! ITA ;) ... and I also would've filled the gas can before returning it, or something of equal value. but I still believe that we should do for others without the expectation that they will do for us.
 
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pebblesus said:
I'd have my dog s**t on his yard a few time :D
Click to expand...

Hilarious!!!!

Seriously though, you did the right thing. I would, in your place, continue to pay it forward because at some point, someone will do something nice for you, but I would never help that particular person out again. Once a sponger/parasite always a sponger/parasite. I have no tolerance for parasites at all, no matter how needy they may be at a particular point in time.
There's a difference between being a friendly neighbour and being a doormat.

Clare
 
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