strip club opinion

I already posted my opinion, but I would just like to add some more thoughts.

I understand the point about it being degrading…however, no one is forced to go into stripping for a living. If a woman chooses to exploit her own body, that is her choice. It isn’t the only option out there.

I respectfully disagree with Darine's comments about people from other countries not understanding the concept of the bachelor party. My family is of European descent, and while some of our cultural traditions might seem odd to the outsider, I think, if anything, we (Americans) are viewed as prudes when it comes to sex, nudity, and the human body.

Bottom line: guys like to look at naked (or half naked) women. It's pretty simple. Your average guy isn’t there to cheat. For most, it’s a night out with the boys--not the groom-to-be’s opportunity for one last fling.

I have been to male revue shows for two bachelorette parties. It was completely harmless fun, and if my BF/SO/DH squawked about me going, I would conclude that he didn’t trust me, and that would upset me. I do believe, as I stated earlier, that it is a matter of trust. If a guy wants to cheat on you, he doesn’t need to go to a nudey bar to do it.

Thanks for an interesting discussion. I love how we can share our divergent ideas so respectfully.

[font face="heather" font color=black size=+2]~Cathy[/font]

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I don't agree with strip clubs in general, but remember, NONE of the strippers would be doing what they are doing if it was NOT for the money. Yup...these guys HAVE to PAY to see most strippers !! No money = no strip clubs or strippers. So whenever I see a show or hear about a bachelor party or something that shows a stripper doing some dance for a guy, it is for the money, not because she thinks the guy is cute !!!
 
Wendy,

I don't think it is a trust issue, but that is just my opinion. For me, it is more disgust....but maybe that comes from the stories I have heard....really....not good ones...really nasty ones!

Sara
 
I never had a problem with strip clubs until I went to a few.

It's not just naked girls dancing around. The girls are very "hands on" and most of the girls let the guys get hands on with them.

I saw a stripper put my boss' head between her legs. and the guys talked about how they "slipped a finger".
Another co-worker was making out with a stripper while she sat topless on his lap. oh yeah and then there was "couter ball" sp?)... I won't even get into.

And this occurs at upper class reputable businessman's club too.
I've heard stories about the sleazy places that I won't even get into.

and remember, there are PRIVATE lap dances available too. You can get 2 girls in a private dance to touch each other for you too.

NO my BF is forbidden. these places are bad news.
 
After having this very same discussion one night years ago with two close friends (when I was engaged and my one friend was recently married), we decided to check out one of the main strip clubs to see what all the fuss was about. We took a male friend along (for insurance ;)) and I must say that the experience was very interesting. FWIW, there WAS INDEED quite a bit of touching and grinding going on, and this was considered one of the "tamer" clubs. The reaction we received upon walking in was also interesting: half of the girls bent over backwards to make sure we had a place to sit, drinks, etc., BUT the claws came out in the other half who seemed very pissed that we were there at all (maybe because we were taking attention away from them?). Some of the girls were hot, some were not. We bought our male buddy a lap dance to see what she would do (= pretty much anything we wanted her to do). They also had a "special guest" that night (semi-famous playmate) and she did the whole boob-head-rubbing, etc. that Deana mentioned above.


What struck me the most, though, wasn't the girls, but the men who were in the audience, who just weren't the type of guys I would find attractive in the first place if I were single at the time. One of my friends used to be a stripper and she said the men in the audience often boiled down into 2 groups: 1) bachelor partiers and many guys who were shamed into going along with it, or 2) semi-"regulars" who either acted like or outright told her that something was missing in their lives/relationships, etc. (she once told me she felt like a confessional booth sometimes). She said it was often quite sad to see how a lot of these guys acted in the face of "being normal" and the peer pressure (cultural or not) was ridiculous. No, she's no longer a stripper, and while she did do it for the $$, it was because her other options had run out. I'm not making excuses for her (she's also more of the adventurous type), but she certainly didn't want to do it for a long time.

I totally understand the fact the men are wired for "sight," but I know a lot of awesome guys who sure know how to have a very good time without being into the whole stripper thing (DH included, who told me that he prefers me as the "stripper" because there's a guaranteed "payoff";))

BTW, Carolyn, your DH rocks! ;)
 
My bachelorette party was a trip to a spa. And my DH's bachelor party was him and his 2 best friends literally having a soda tasting with all different kinds of wacky sodas and going miniature golfing.

LOL, so I guess I should just exit the thread without offering any opinion! But I can't.

I think if something your DH is doing or you're afraid he might do is causing you to cry when you think about it, you should at the very least let him know.
 
Hi Karie,

I understand you feeling unsure, however you might feel better if you step back and look at the situation he will be going to the club in.

1. His father and possibly other relatives will be there. I seriously doubt that your fiance would let anything go to far with his father present.

2. He is going to be with a large group of friends. Typically, the guys that are going to take it further than a lap dance are guys going there alone. What guy wants to get a stiffie and be all worked up in front of his friends. Chances are he will just be embarrassed and laughing through the whole thing.

3. I have been to a strip club a few times and heard stories from others. Typically when it is a bachelor party they just try to embarrass the groom. Sometimes they make them get up on the stage and they give 'em a big wedgie. It is more of a silly thing.

4. He will be at a strip club. Not all, but many strip clubs have very strict rules about touching. I know there are exceptions to this, however a lot of clubs wouldn't allow anything more than innocent. I would be much more worried if this were a house party and some strippers were hired to attend the party. I had a male friend at work who told me stories about those types of bachelor parties that were horrendous.


I would not like it if my husband frequented strip clubs, however he does have the occasional bachelor party to attend. Chances are, your fiance may take a lot of teasing from his buddies if he says he cannot go. I know that isn't right, but some guys are just like that. I hope this helps. Good luck!

Monica
 
*blink blink*

So, are we all going to Chippendale's now, or what?



Debbie


Everyone is entitled to an opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
 
Karie,

What bothers me most about what you've written is that you keep explaining your feelings away as being foolish or something. If it's bothering you than I feel you should talk to him about it whether it changes what happens or not. The last thing you want to do is let all of your feelings build up. You don't want to have this conflict going on the weeks before your wedding, it's stressful enough those last few weeks. Going out the same night as his party may help for that night but the next day your still going to be wondering.

My DH and I never gave strip clubs a thought. I had a nice dinner out with my closest friends and he went golfing.

Just wanted to give you my thoughts and hope it helps :)

Chastity

http://www.picturetrail.com:80/chastgirl0205
 
Now that's an idea! We could carry on this debate at the male review... after all- it's research right??? Then we could really figure it all out!!!}( LOL
 
Chippendales, oh wow. I hope those of us here aren't like the women I saw when I went to a Chippendales like place 25 years ago. It was called LeBare's. Oh my gosh, those women were wild. If men acted the way these women did, they would get thrown out by bouncers faster then they could slip a dollar in a G string. The women were trying to climb on the stage, clawing and pawing at the dancers. It was really pathetic. Since then, I've been to a couple of strip clubs for men (with dh) and they were so tame in comparison.

As for the strip club issue, it's up to the individual couple. Knowing how the other one feels about it is important to talk about. Your feelings are important. As for me, I'm ok if DH wants to go as long as he is not going because he wants to avoid being with me. People come in too many shapes and sizes for me to expect him to only want to look at me for the rest of his life. I'd rather know that he is going, then for him to hide it from me and sneak around. As for sleezy behavior going on, I'm sure it goes on at some strip clubs. But honestly if a person is going to cheat, they are going to cheat whether it be with a stripper, someone they meet at a regular bar or your next door neighbor.

Jean
 
>Chippendales, oh wow. I hope those of us here aren't like
>the women I saw when I went to a Chippendales like place 25
>years ago. It was called LeBare's. Oh my gosh, those women
>were wild. If men acted the way these women did, they would
>get thrown out by bouncers faster then they could slip a
>dollar in a G string. The women were trying to climb on the
>stage, clawing and pawing at the dancers. It was really
>pathetic. Since then, I've been to a couple of strip clubs
>for men (with dh) and they were so tame in comparison.
>
>As for the strip club issue, it's up to the individual couple.
>Knowing how the other one feels about it is important to talk
>about. Your feelings are important. As for me, I'm ok if DH
>wants to go as long as he is not going because he wants to
>avoid being with me. People come in too many shapes and sizes
>for me to expect him to only want to look at me for the rest
>of his life. I'd rather know that he is going, then for him to
>hide it from me and sneak around. As for sleezy behavior
>going on, I'm sure it goes on at some strip clubs. But
>honestly if a person is going to cheat, they are going to
>cheat whether it be with a stripper, someone they meet at a
>regular bar or your next door neighbor.
>
>Jean

Jean,

I could have written your post myself! My mom took my sister and I into NYC to see the Chippendales perform for my 18th Birthday! I was tickled pink! ITA about how some of those women act. OMG! LOL I've seen it at local male revues as well. NUTS!}(
I love your points about the strip clubs...especially about cheating. It is so true. If they want to cheat, a strip club is far from the only option. If they don't want to cheat then they will not get involved in the sleazy behavior. Just because you are in the bar does not mean that you will be involved with or even condone that type of behavior.
 
well ladies, i decided to talk with my fiance' about the whole situation. i'm happy to report he understands where i'm coming from and knowing how strongly i feel would never do anything to disrespect me or hurt my feelings. he said he was hoping to do a group with me but hadn't brought it up yet b/c its still 5 months away. i feel so much better. i think i overexaggerated on this one but i thank each and everyone of you for your opnions. thanks so much. its nice to know i have all you ladies here to talk with
 
Karie I'm **so** glad you talked to your DF about it!! And he sounds like a sweet guy to spend your life with!

We're always here. hugs!
 
Karie,

Glad you talked to him and worked it out.

It really doesn't matter what anyone else's views are. What's important is that you and your DF are in agreement and you are so that's great! :)
 
JMO - I think strip clubs are bastions of male arrested development. I wouldn't really care if DH went, but I would care if he went regularly and put his hard-earned money in some chick's g-string.

That said, getting upset over a one-time bachelor party is kind of silly in the grand scheme of things. DH did not have one before we married - apparently the debauchery of his best friend's BP (he got married about a year before DH and I did) tided him over for a very long time.
 
I had no problem with my husband having a bachelor party or even going to strip clubs on his "guys weekends," now. To me this is just something that men like to do (even if it is ridiculous and a seedy). If you try to "prohibit" then it just makes the whole thing more attractive.

In my opinion my husband is more likely to meet a woman to run off with at work then at a stripclub. Strippers aren't in the clubs to meet their future boyfriends they are there to make money. Everyone in the club gets that and acts accordingly...at least from what I understand.

My husband and I actually laugh out loud everytime he has an occassion to go to a stripclub and he will often call me at the door.
Maybe I feel differently about this because I go to my fair share of male revues with my girlfriends (which my husband and I also laugh about).


KIM
 
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