strip club opinion

Do they still have Chippendales clubs with naked guys dancing for women? (You can tell how out of the loop I am...) If so, and if I were getting married, I can totally see me and a bunch of girlfriends going to Chippendales to eye the beefcake. So to me, as long as a guy is just looking, and not touching (as somebody else said, no lap dances, no private dances, etc.), I have no problem with it. That's just me though, everyone's different in how they define cheating and/or disrespecting your wife. I have no problem with my DH looking at magazines, videos, websites, etc., but I would have a problem with another woman rubbing against his, um, fill in the body part. We have talked about this and we both know where the other draws the line.

This might be a good opportunity to sort of define those boundaries with your fiance befor the wedding - better to talk about it now than be surprised after the wedding if he thinks that phone sex is totally harmless and you think it's totally horrible. I think these things are something every couple has to negotiate, but it's better to be open about what your boundaries are, i.e., Honey, I'm fine if you do X, but if you ever do Y or Z that to me is breaking your vows...

BTW, the fact that his FATHER is arranging the bachelor party and will be there makes it seem pretty safe to me, unless his father is a horrible person...
 
I was the first one to answer this post. I am obviously in the very very small minority of women here who see no problem with strip clubs and this surprises me. If you trust your S/O then I don't understand where the problem lies. If it's simply insecurity that the girls on stage might have better bodies then you then that is something you really should work on changing. It's not fun to be insecure. I know. I used to be EXTREMELY insecure. Over the years I've gotten over it big time and life is so much more fun now!

Atleast one poster (possibly more-I can't remember exactly) stated that the bachelor party tradition of going to a strip club is stupid and ridiculous. Why do you say that? Why is it wrong for a guy who is about to get married to go out w/his buddies and have a little INNOCENT fun at a strip bar before "taking the plunge"? If your guy is trust-worthy then he will not do anything inappropriate and if he does? Well, to be quite honest, you will likely never find out about it anyway.

In short, I believe that life should not be spent worrying about what COULD happen. Why do you want to spend your time "babysitting" your SO's?? Go out and have fun with them and without them and allow them the same. I just don't understand why people seem to think that once you are in a committed relationship/marriage that all other life has to end??? That's not what marriage is about.

Okay, I'll get off my soapbox now! :7
 
Wendy, I know a lot of women who are okay with their dh's going to strip clubs also. (I am not one of them ;)

I don't think it is a matter of trust and insecurity, but that is my opinion. I have a friend who had a friend who was a stripper. The stories I heard were awful!!! To graphic to post on here! This friend (the stripper) of my friend was married with children and actually got pregnant by a customer....that is to name the most innocent story I heard :(

Sara
 
>I was the first one to answer this post. I am obviously in
>the very very small minority of women here who see no problem
>with strip clubs and this surprises me. If you trust your S/O
>then I don't understand where the problem lies. If it's
>simply insecurity that the girls on stage might have better
>bodies then you then that is something you really should work
>on changing. It's not fun to be insecure. I know. I used to
>be EXTREMELY insecure. Over the years I've gotten over it big
>time and life is so much more fun now!
>
>Atleast one poster (possibly more-I can't remember exactly)
>stated that the bachelor party tradition of going to a strip
>club is stupid and ridiculous. Why do you say that? Why is
>it wrong for a guy who is about to get married to go out w/his
>buddies and have a little INNOCENT fun at a strip bar before
>"taking the plunge"? If your guy is trust-worthy then he will
>not do anything inappropriate and if he does? Well, to be
>quite honest, you will likely never find out about it anyway.

>In short, I believe that life should not be spent worrying
>about what COULD happen. Why do you want to spend your time
>"babysitting" your SO's?? Go out and have fun with them and
>without them and allow them the same. I just don't understand
>why people seem to think that once you are in a committed
>relationship/marriage that all other life has to end??? That's
>not what marriage is about.
>
>Okay, I'll get off my soapbox now! :7

Wendy - You are totally entitled to your own opinion, but I doubt you are going to change those of us who have a problem with it. ;) I'm far from insecure and I'm definitely not the jealous type. I just honestly think those place are sick. I just can't grasp what is "innocent" about men oggling a bunch of naked women and sometimes young girls (although legal still kids in my mind)??? In what possible context is that not innappropriate? Do you think "he" is thinking about baseball when he's staring at her you know whats? He certainly isn't thinking about how much he loves or respects his wife or kids at that moment. I just think it is beyond disrespectful to all concerned. That's just me though. I'm not going to try and change anyone else's mind on the subject. Me and my DH are on the same page and that is all that matters. This is something totally for the individual couple to talk over and draw boundaries on BEFORE the wedding day. I think she has gotten some good advice from all sides (not that there are sides, just differences of opinions). ;)
 
Oh, just wanted to add for the original poster...make sure your dh doesn't have a stack of dollar bills and nobody will pay attention to him :)

But really, if you do have a bad feeling about it, talk to your dh and tell him how you feel. Hopefully, he is understanding. Good Luck and keep us posted!

Sara
 
Wendy is just a big freak. Don't listen to her :p



Seriously though. I think you as a couple are either on board & don't mind for either of you, or you aren't on board. I guess it's a couple by couple basis...no? *scratches head* I'm not sure what else there is to say.


Debbie


Everyone is entitled to an opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
 
Liann,

I really could not agree with you more on the strip club thing! But, I have to ask....I took a peek at your pic trail and saw snakes...(gasp!!) Are they yours? I am completely and totally afraid of snakes...and no, you can't change my mind on that one ;)

Sara
 
"I just can't grasp what is "innocent" about men oggling a bunch of naked women and sometimes young girls (although legal still kids in my mind)??? "



Some of the girls actually are underage. I lived in a home for runaway girls when I was a teenager and most of the girls were strippers and many of them were under 18. I'm sure most places don't have such young girls working at them, though.

Erica
 
>Liann,
>
>I really could not agree with you more on the strip club
>thing! But, I have to ask....I took a peek at your pic trail
>and saw snakes...(gasp!!) Are they yours? I am completely and
>totally afraid of snakes...and no, you can't change my mind on
>that one ;)
>
>Sara

LOL! Yes, they are my DH's and mine. I'm a HUGE animal lover - even the "ugly" ones ;). It's a side business for us though. People pay good money for some of the "fancier" breeds. ;) They are kept in a separate section of the house in the basement though and are never near my weiner dogs or piggies! ;)
 
Wendy

In your post you state the following:

“Why is it wrong for a guy who is about to get married to go out w/his buddies and have a little INNOCENT fun at a strip bar before "taking the plunge"?”

“I just don't understand why people seem to think that once you are in a committed relationship/marriage that all other life has to end???”

These two statements seem to contradict themselves. In one it refers to marriage as “taking the plunge” like all fun is over and the other is that when one is in a committed relationship or marriage life does not end.

I agree with you that life has not end when one gets married and therefore, in my opinion there is no need to have “innocent fun” at a strip club.

Like others have said, what is important is that husband and wife are on the same page as to what is acceptable and what is not. It is very imporant that husband/wife communicates to each other how they feel and again encouraging the OP to speak to her DF about these issues prior to marriage so things can be clarified as to how each of you feel.

I am not trying to change anyones opinion, just voicing mine. :)
 
>Wendy
>
>In your post you state the following:
>
>“Why is it wrong for a guy who is about to get married to go
>out w/his buddies and have a little INNOCENT fun at a strip
>bar before "taking the plunge"?”
>
>“I just don't understand why people seem to think that once
>you are in a committed relationship/marriage that all other
>life has to end???”
>
>These two statements seem to contradict themselves. In one
>it refers to marriage as “taking the plunge” like all fun is
>over and the other is that when one is in a committed
>relationship or marriage life does not end.

"Taking the plunge" is just a figure of speech. I did not mean for it to be taken so literally. I'm sorry if you misunderstood. All I meant by it is that marriage is a big step and many are nervous about it so why not be able to go blow off some steam beforehand? That's what bachelor/bachelorette parties are all about. :)


>I agree with you that life has not end when one gets married
>and therefore, in my opinion there is no need to have
>“innocent fun” at a strip club.
>
>Like others have said, what is important is that husband and
>wife are on the same page as to what is acceptable and what is
>not. It is very imporant that husband/wife communicates to
>each other how they feel and again encouraging the OP to speak
>to her DF about these issues prior to marriage so things can
>be clarified as to how each of you feel.
>
>I am not trying to change anyones opinion, just voicing mine.
>:)

I completely agree that what matters is that both parties in the relationship are on the same page. If that's the case then that's great and no harm done but I know there have got to be men out there who would enjoy going to a go-go bar once in a blue moon but can't because thier significant others would not approve. These are the couples I am referring to. :)
 
>Wendy, I know a lot of women who are okay with their dh's
>going to strip clubs also. (I am not one of them ;)
>
>I don't think it is a matter of trust and insecurity, but that
>is my opinion. I have a friend who had a friend who was a
>stripper. The stories I heard were awful!!! To graphic to post
>on here! This friend (the stripper) of my friend was married
>with children and actually got pregnant by a customer....that
>is to name the most innocent story I heard :(
>
>Sara

This is certainly a trust issue. If you trust your SO or your husband then you have nothing to worry about. If you think your SO or husband would mess around with a stripper then perhaps the relationship should be re-evaluated. Not you in particular, Sara. I'm speaking in general. :)
 
Wendy ..

<<Go out and have fun with them and without them and allow them the same>>>

from one "freak" to another .. ITA!!! :)

The female body is quite beautiful .. (I say that as a totally STRAIGHT heterosexual person) .. I don't expect my DH to not look or not appreciate the human form .. I know I certainly do!

Looking at .. appreciating and yes maybe turning them on is a lot different than a wild love affair. Again boundaries and your comfortablness (is that a word?) w/your relationship and your sexuality would definately determine your stand on this topic. What I may be comfortable with may disgust someone else .. to each their own!!

and strip clubs vary from state to state .. here in AL they are a lot stricter than say in Florida ... and I am sure depending on the state laws .. the "reputation" of the clubs etc .. you would get a very different experience at some clubs v/s others.

and off topic a bit the male dance shows I have been to .. believe me they are SOOOOO much wilder than the strip clubs where there is no touching or kissing the dancers.... (uumm ..minus the back room thing) ... at the male shows .. some of those ladies go crazy.. I usually end up cracking up at all the women's antics!! LOL

:D
 
>Wendy is just a big freak. Don't listen to her :p

Perhaps I AM a freak Deb, but I'll tell ya, I know how to have a good time!}( :7 ;) :)

BTW, I totally agree with your post. So long as both in the relationship feel the same way then there is no issue but just to play devil's advocate for a second....

How many men REALLY feel that strip clubs are "inappropriate", etc and how many are simply choosing thier battles?

Just a thought. :)
 
Poochy,

I remember going to some strip club that featured male dancers when I visited some girlfriends in Miami YEARS AGO; it was still a novel idea back then. (showing my age!!!) Well, for the first 15 minutes or so, we watched and laughed and hooted & hollered, but then, we just started "girl-talking" just like we were in any other bar and kind of forgot about "the show!" It still cracks us up that we lost interest so quickly!
 
Te Te ..

I know I am showing my age also .. b/c they rarely have the male shows anymore do they?? LOL ..

The last one I went to .. OMG .. has been YEAARRRRS .. but those women were WILD!!! LOL ..and yes I spent most of the night LMAO .. don't think I even tipped .. heck didn't have a chance w/the girls I was with!! LOL

the whole concept of men .. pumping and dirty dancing by themselves CRACK me up!! (sorry guys) ... but the reaction of the women (the ones I have been to at least) .. was FAR more entertaining!! LOL:+
 
*lol* Funny! :7

>I will say that when he was dropped off at our front door at
>4am completely intoxicated with his underware ripped down the
>middle (I had to undress him for bed because he couldn't do it
>himself and his clothes were very dirty), I was a bit curious.
>. . . BUT, I knew better than to ask.
 
Oh Wendy!
I'm with you 300%!!!!!

I've always been in the minority with the way that I think. But, then again, I've always been much better friends with men than with women.

I'm just glad to know that I'm not alone!!!
 
>Oh Wendy!
>I'm with you 300%!!!!!
>
>I've always been in the minority with the way that I think.
>But, then again, I've always been much better friends with men
>than with women.
>
>I'm just glad to know that I'm not alone!!!

Same here. Wendy, I could've written your posts! I do understand and respect the other opinons, though. Liann makes a good point about how demeaning these places are for women.


Allison

http://www.picturetrail.com/allisonj90
 
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