strip club opinion

Karie,

Who saids he has to go to a strip club? When my husband and I got married 17 years ago, he didn't even think about going to a strip club. I'm sorry, but i'm totally againts strip clubs!
 
Wow! I didn't expect to get so many responses. Well, the thing I know is that this probably will only be a one time thing b/c he is not a strip club person or even a bar person. His best man and father are going to throw it for him which is why I'm not going to say you can't go. I haven't decided what I'm going to do for my bachelorette party but I'm hoping we can at least plan it for the same night. I haven't talked with him about how I feel b/c I know I can get over it and I do trust him but you know its that jealousy thing. If it were a common occurance you better believe there would be words said;-) I'm not going to say anything since it isn't even going to happen until the end of april or beginning of may (the wedding is may 10th). I need to just stop dwelling on it and let it go till the time happens. If it turns out that we are going to be having our events on seperate nights, I will be sure to plan a girls outing that night to keep my mind from wondering. Thank you so much for all of your responses. Its nice to hear so many different opinions on the situation.
 
>Wendy, a juice bar?? is that some euphemism for something?
>Or it was at a juice bar? confused....
>

A juice bar is a club where they are not allowed to SERVE liquor but in some you can bring your own. The dancers are all nude as opposed to strippers who come out clothed and end up in a g-string bikini type out fit. HTH!:)
 
No problems with strip clubs whatsoever here. I'm just not a jealous person at all. They went for his bachelor party, and they go every time they all go to Vegas (how can you not?).

In fact, I've been to strip clubs with DH and his friends. It's pretty fun, actually, if you're not on the conservative side. It's a different kind of experience, and the girls there are always excited to have a girl to pay attention to rather than yet another 'dude'!

If you're not conservative, I highly recommend going with your DH or SO some time. They'll think it's HOT, and I bet you'd have a good time!
 
I feel the same way you do about strippers. Fortunately, so does my DH. He didn't have a traditional bachelor party before our wedding (and I didn't have a bachelorette party either). My personal opinion is that it's a stupid "tradition" and that if a man feels the need to have "one last fling" then maybe he's not ready to get married in the first place. Just MHO.

Anyway, since you feel strongly about this, I agree with everyone else who said you need to talk to him about your feelings. (((hugs)))
 
"I haven't talked with him about how I feel b/c I know I can get over it and I do trust him but you know its that jealousy thing."

Seems like you are getting a lot of affirmative answers for the strip club, so just to keep things balanced, here's my take. ;)

For me it isn't a "jealousy" thing. I just have a problem with strip clubs and what they represent period. I guess I'm one of the few people left who thinks it is totally demeaning to us woman. What mother aspires to having her daughter work at a place like that? All of those girls are somebody's daughter, niece, sister. It doesn't empower woman, it just reinforces to men that we are nothing but objects. Yeah, I know, I'm a prude. ;) Lucky for me, this prude has a DH who is an even BIGGER prude. He and his guys spent their "bachelor" party time helping us girls decorate for the reception. We then went paintballing. To each his own though and if you have no problem with the strip club thing, then I wouldn't make it an issue. If you do have a problem though, don't assume you are being "jealous" or too "conservative". There is nothing wrong with thinking it is wrong. We are ALL entitled to our beliefs. :)

p.s. Ok, guess I'm not done. One other thing... I know a LOT of guys here at work who go to strip clubs. Some of their wives know and some don't. They all talk very freely in front of me cuz' I'm just "little Liann". Anyways, if their wives could hear the way they talk about those strippers and whine about how "old" their wives are getting now, etc..., they would be sick. Guys can say it doesn't mean anything and they are just having fun, but a lot of them are taking notes on how their wives don't stack up. Another reason, why my DH ain't going near a place like that!
 
I don't put any stock into those strip clubs. My DH went to one for his bachelor party and it really didn't bother me at all. I trust him 100% and just never really thought it was a big deal. He doesn't think they are anything special at all and in fact, most often says the girls are pretty gross. :p He goes to other bachelor parties and sometimes they go to a strip club, but again, I just let it go and don't let it bother me.

Talk to him about how you feel, keep the communication open between the two of you and maybe he will change his mind.

Marcia.

P.S. I most definitely don't 'give him any' when he comes home from there, though, I don't want him getting all horned up and then want me to satisfy that urge. ;-)
 
>For me it isn't a "jealousy" thing. I just have a problem
>with strip clubs and what they represent period. I guess I'm
>one of the few people left who thinks it is totally demeaning
>to us woman. What mother aspires to having her daughter work
>at a place like that? All of those girls are somebody's
>daughter, niece, sister. It doesn't empower woman, it just
>reinforces to men that we are nothing but objects.

Thank you, Liann - you put it way better than I could've! For me, it also not about jealousy. I simply believe women should never be treated as objects. I don't think that's being a prude - it's being a feminist!
 
I don't know how I feel about it really. I think it's just kind of sleezy for a group of guys to take a guy to a strip club to celebrate his impending marriage. If you're not comfortable with it, definitely tell him. Here's what we did: Since all of our friends were in town for the wedding, and we really wanted to visit with each other and not split into girls/boys for separate parties, we all went to a very cheesy dance club the night before the wedding after the rehearsal dinner and had a blast. We drank, we danced. It was a lot of fun. I had my sister with me who doesn't drink, and she kept me from overdoing it so I'd feel good the next day. It was much more fun than us having separate parties and always wondering what went on at each other's party. I highly recommend it.
 
My DH went to a strip club on his bachelor party. It totally didn't bother me. I trust him totally and it's just what guys like to do when they get married. In fact, my party was probably crazier! Anyway, I say just go with your feelings. If it's going to eat you up inside then talk to DF about it. MY MY there are alot of prudes in Cathe land! (I AM TOTALLY KIDDING! SO DON'T FLAME ME FOR THAT Y'ALL! :eek: ) I get how it is degrading to women and all and if I had a daughter, I don't know what I'd do. Anyway..... I ramble. ;-)
LD
 
>"I haven't talked with him about how I feel b/c I know I can
>get over it and I do trust him but you know its that jealousy
>thing."
>
>Seems like you are getting a lot of affirmative answers for
>the strip club, so just to keep things balanced, here's my
>take. ;)
>
>For me it isn't a "jealousy" thing. I just have a problem
>with strip clubs and what they represent period. I guess I'm
>one of the few people left who thinks it is totally demeaning
>to us woman. What mother aspires to having her daughter work
>at a place like that? All of those girls are somebody's
>daughter, niece, sister. It doesn't empower woman, it just
>reinforces to men that we are nothing but objects. Yeah, I
>know, I'm a prude. ;) Lucky for me, this prude has a DH who
>is an even BIGGER prude. He and his guys spent their
>"bachelor" party time helping us girls decorate for the
>reception. We then went paintballing. To each his own though
>and if you have no problem with the strip club thing, then I
>wouldn't make it an issue. If you do have a problem though,
>don't assume you are being "jealous" or too "conservative".
>There is nothing wrong with thinking it is wrong. We are ALL
>entitled to our beliefs. :)
>
>p.s. Ok, guess I'm not done. One other thing... I know a
>LOT of guys here at work who go to strip clubs. Some of their
>wives know and some don't. They all talk very freely in front
>of me cuz' I'm just "little Liann". Anyways, if their wives
>could hear the way they talk about those strippers and whine
>about how "old" their wives are getting now, etc..., they
>would be sick. Guys can say it doesn't mean anything and they
>are just having fun, but a lot of them are taking notes on how
>their wives don't stack up. Another reason, why my DH ain't
>going near a place like that!


Ditto what she said -- ALL of it ;)

My DH and I weren't/aren't the bachelor/bachelorette party types either, and neither were our "close" friends, which was nice because it wasn't an issue at all. We recently celebrated our 23rd anniversary, and ALL of our friends from back in the day when we got married are still in happy marriages. I think that's pretty remarkable, especially in this day and age. :)
 
Thank goodness this did not come up with my DH, he was married several times before and is quite a bit older than me, he also worked in all sorts of different nightclubs "back in the day", so has no interest in going out to them at all, whether it be strip clubs or otherwise.
 
Hey ..

we were married 21 years ago and pretty young .. we both discussed it and decided to go out together (we went dancing w/friends) and seperated at midnight ..he left w/the guys and I went home .. so we had together time and he had his guy (last right to passage thingie) ... BUT that being said we both agreed no "last fling" .. "no lap dances" ... again that was THEN .. we were young..

I see nothing wrong w/a bunch of guys going to a strip club .. most are really harmless .. and my DH is pretty dang cheap .. so I don't worry!! LOL I have in fact gone to strip clubs w/him (always have a good time) .. and like another poster said most of the women are happier to see a woman come in than most men. The women are there for MONEY .. not for love or romance .. it is all about a dollar .. and that is their business.

Now when it comes to the back room ... private dances ..etc .. that is where I draw the line! Leave that for me to handle! }( ;-)

Everyone and every relationship is different ... I think you should discuss your feelings .. and trust in your relationship .. if it is a major problem w/you then I would think he would respect your feelings ... :)
 
I guess one of the problems I have with strip clubs is that it gives men an ideal. They sometimes think that's how women SHOULD look. Like Liann said her co-workers compare those women to their "old" wives. I guess I'm being insecure. But to me, (a diet analogy) it's kind of like me going to a bakery and staring at the beautiful sweets and then coming home to a bowl of cottage cheese. It would be hard not to wish I had a donut instead.
 
I think that going on strip club for a bachelor is stupid and ridiculess. This is what society makes us believe that it's normal. But what is the point of going to a strip club before marriage. Really... what kind of message are we saying.

Society makes us believe that some things are normal but really aren't. and going to strip club in a bachelor is simply stupid and have no purpose and other countries are confused when they hear that.

my opinion
 
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