Reasonable Expectations, Realistic Results

[DirtDiva]

I know this isn't going to go over well but...

I would stop quoting (and living by) statistics, they are self-defeating considering how you are using them. I had two babies and gained 95 and 65 pounds respectively, lost it *my way* and its still off 19 years later. I'm not saying this to make anyone feel deficient or insufficient, it is what it is, and it can be done regardless. Dang straight you can't change body types, but you can get rid of excess fat (if you don't want it).

I don't have the attention span in my brain to ruminate over other people's eating habits, body images, what THEY are thinking of me and definitely whether I'm a PITA at a restaurant. If I'm shelling out $45 for Alaskan salmon and I want it simply grilled, I say please and thank you very much. Stress is not good in any way shape or form.

If you want a hard body you need passion, you are going to have to suffer and dedicate yourself to lifting heavy, lean on nutrient timing and some supplement lingo. Add in some ripping cardio where you can't swallow water because you can't breath and then you are going to need some very deep sleep. In my world, I rinse and repeat this 6 to 7 days a week, minimum of 14 hours.

If one's body can't handle this (mentally, physically or time-wise) adjust down to the level that brings peace and happiness, and leave the rest of the minutia in the dust. Don't worry about anyone else, I refuse to believe that people are even that interested to begin with.

 

[PhyllisG]

I don't believe in "harder, faster etc" than the day before. I believe in consistency with your workout and moderation in what you eat. I am in my 60's and can still workout with Cathe, take no medications and never eat out of the box or can. Sure I would like to lose 10 lbs but I am not going to injure myself to get there. My cardio endurance isn't what it used to be and I have given up hi impact. I do more fusion workouts than I have in the past and they really make me feel good. I lift 2X a week now, do fusion workouts or barre the other 5 days and take a rest day usually every ten days. I try to walk 2 miles everyday with Leslie.
Tracey Anderson's Meta really slimmed down and tightened up just about everything. I have been checking out the DreamBody Fusion Fitness series as an option.
I always thought Leslie Sansone was "too easy" but I found that walking the 2 miles everyday helped me to lose those extra pound we are always fighting, keep up my endurance and could be done daily.
Consistency is what I believe works and if you are pushing yourself too hard to achieve what you view as an ideal body you will burn out.

 

[fit44]

I would stop quoting (and living by) statistics, they are self-defeating considering how you are using them. I had two babies and gained 95 and 65 pounds respectively, lost it *my way* and its still off 19 years later. I'm not saying this to make anyone feel deficient or insufficient, it is what it is, and it can be done regardless. Dang straight you can't change body types, but you can get rid of excess fat (if you don't want it).

I don't have the attention span in my brain to ruminate over other people's eating habits, body images, what THEY are thinking of me and definitely whether I'm a PITA at a restaurant. If I'm shelling out $45 for Alaskan salmon and I want it simply grilled, I say please and thank you very much. Stress is not good in any way shape or form.

If you want a hard body you need passion, you are going to have to suffer and dedicate yourself to lifting heavy, lean on nutrient timing and some supplement lingo. Add in some ripping cardio where you can't swallow water because you can't breath and then you are going to need some very deep sleep. In my world, I rinse and repeat this 6 to 7 days a week, minimum of 14 hours.

If one's body can't handle this (mentally, physically or time-wise) adjust down to the level that brings peace and happiness, and leave the rest of the minutia in the dust. Don't worry about anyone else, I refuse to believe that people are even that interested to begin with.

I hit the like button, but this post deserves a LOVE button Dirt Diva!
You totally rock girl!

 

[mspina]

A lot of people on the Cathe Forum as well as elswhere in the web-o-sphere talk about "clean eating". They "eat clean", the don't eat sugar, they workout extra hard and only fuel themselves with "proper" nutrition. Look at any weight loss thread and you'll see what I'm talking about. There are those that do talk about how eating a certain way was something they evolved with overtime as they got to know their bodies. But mostly you see throwing the Tosca Reno-style of clean eating and other nutrition rules around as if it makes them morally superior. That if you don't eat "cleanly" you can't lose weight, you can't lose the jiggle, the blah blah blah. They take on this attitude that it's "better" for you, your body, your health. It's a high and mighty persona that goes with turning their nose up at something the deem inferior. To live for the day when you can eat a cheat meal all in the hopes of getting or maintaining a few pounds lost. That living off green smoothies or some other form of "proper" nutrition will lead to advanced age and a tiny waistline. That by not going out to eat or by being a total pain-in-the-butt, high-maintenance eater, that they have some how elevated themselves above all else.

Perhaps it's just because I too was once one of those pain-in-the-butt, high maintenance eaters. Because I counter my calories and I avoided all things "bad" and opted only for the purest of "good". That I refused to eat out unless I could get everything skinless, oil/butter free, fat free, fun free... stress the waiter and kitchen staff out kind of requests. That "if I can do it, so can you" attitude. That smerking at people's post and thinking how sad and slothen they were bc of what they ate and the "excuses" that they made. I elevated myself above them because I felt what I was doing, will to do, and what I had accomplished was more important than the feelings of others. That I could judge them into change. I could passive-aggressively shame them into "better choices" based on my ideal of what was right and ideal or what some author said. That by telling people how sad it was for me to read and witness how they let themselves go or didn't care enough about the plan, the end goal, the dream to do what they had to do. That I was willing to be miserable, even at times when I didn't know it, all because what I was doing was better than what they weren't. The "look at me and what I'm willing to do without" mentality and the snarky smiles I gave to other women at the gym. Perhaps it was because I was the biggest Bitch in the world for the sake of being right, good, and moral with my food and body, that gives me a window into what I witness here and elsewhere with regards to body image, food, and fitness.

Then to see all of that and realize one day, I had all of my priorities half-a$$ backwards. The pain I caused others, the life I missed out on, and the poor example I was for my future children.

I can assure you that while I "eat clean" I have none of the moral superiority feelings you talk about above, nor am I miserable doing what I'm doing. I could give a crap what others do on a day to day basis, but if they ask me for help, because they see what I'm doing and see that it works well for me, and see that <gasp> I LIKE LIVING THIS WAY, I help them with tips and links and advice. And then I back off unless they ask for more. I'm not preaching, I'm not thinking I'm better than anyone, I'm simply living my life. Which is really freaking busy with literally NO time to be sitting around feeling superior about what I *eat* for cripes sake.

 

[mspina]

I would stop quoting (and living by) statistics, they are self-defeating considering how you are using them. I had two babies and gained 95 and 65 pounds respectively, lost it *my way* and its still off 19 years later. I'm not saying this to make anyone feel deficient or insufficient, it is what it is, and it can be done regardless. Dang straight you can't change body types, but you can get rid of excess fat (if you don't want it).

I don't have the attention span in my brain to ruminate over other people's eating habits, body images, what THEY are thinking of me and definitely whether I'm a PITA at a restaurant. If I'm shelling out $45 for Alaskan salmon and I want it simply grilled, I say please and thank you very much. Stress is not good in any way shape or form.

If you want a hard body you need passion, you are going to have to suffer and dedicate yourself to lifting heavy, lean on nutrient timing and some supplement lingo. Add in some ripping cardio where you can't swallow water because you can't breath and then you are going to need some very deep sleep. In my world, I rinse and repeat this 6 to 7 days a week, minimum of 14 hours.

If one's body can't handle this (mentally, physically or time-wise) adjust down to the level that brings peace and happiness, and leave the rest of the minutia in the dust. Don't worry about anyone else, I refuse to believe that people are even that interested to begin with.

More love for this post.

 

[poachedsalmon]

I can assure you that while I "eat clean" I have none of the moral superiority feelings you talk about above, nor am I miserable doing what I'm doing. I could give a crap what others do on a day to day basis, but if they ask me for help, because they see what I'm doing and see that it works well for me, and see that <gasp> I LIKE LIVING THIS WAY, I help them with tips and links and advice. And then I back off unless they ask for more. I'm not preaching, I'm not thinking I'm better than anyone, I'm simply living my life. Which is really freaking busy with literally NO time to be sitting around feeling superior about what I *eat* for cripes sake.

I'm the same. My "clean" eating regime is driven by my desire to live as long and healthy a life as possible and not to make myself feel superior to anyone else. Heart disease and diabetes run in my family and I am deterimined to avoid both, so healthy eating is not a choice, but a necessity for me.

 

[Nanbo]

Wow! This thread HAS been entertaining, hasn't it? So much hope/defeat, confidence/doubt, encouragement/hostility, etc.

Overall it has helped me come to an important decision:
I am naming my butt "Shirley Temple" because I think its dimples are cute .

 

[effacer]

The stats to lose and keep off only 10% has something like an 80% fail rate too. So more are successful at this over the long term, but still that's only 20 people out of 100. This again, has been studied for almost 70 yrs- long before "time and effort" was ever an issue. It has mostly to do with a biological response, leptin, cortisol, adrenal glands, the hypothalamus, and feast-or-famine triggered response the body (hormonally) is plunged into. Saying it's "time, money, and effort" is opinion, not factual.

You can find a study to support/disprove almost anything you do or don't want to believe. Live your own life, be your own study.

 

[RapidBreath]

I am also someone that fights her genetics everyday. I won't blast anyone for their opinion (one way or another.) Most people would assume that by looking at me I have given up. No one ever guesses at how many workouts I do (at least 5 per week.) how many hours of yoga I do every week (at least 2), or that I eat clean (most of the time.) Why? Because I am obese. I have a condition that predisposes me to gaining fat like a man. Lifting heavy produces a tremendous amount of strength and muscle gain on my body, like a man. I am in the minority, people like me make up 20 percent of the female population. Lifting heavy has never produced a single ounce of weight loss on my body. Cardio, yoga, lower carb eating, and some IF has helped me avoid what several of my female relatives have: a 600 lb. body. I only weigh in at 210. I look like I weigh 190 because of the muscle.

But, hey, I can still do a Cathe workout (most of you would find doing one wearing a 80 lb vest to be very difficult.) I can run a 12 minute mile. I can also flatten someone if I wanted to (its a good thing I'm always smiling.)

I guess my point is: no one really knows the road you have walked until they ask. You can't tell by looking.

 

[Cafelattee]

WOW I hate how defeated the op sounded. I think she needs to reevaluate what her definition of pretty and healthy look like. I'm 43 and no I don't have the ultra then body of my 20's. I wouldn't want it because one I need more body fat right now so I don't get the skeletal old lady face. LOL. I have some dimples on my ass but that because I decided I like my sweet tea more than deprivation. The few dimples aren't' the end of my world. I still wear a bikini. I still had a 26 year old ask me out he came up started talking to be about working out and stuff. He could tell I was in good shape and was totally floored when I told him my age.. I look in shape hot older women LOL. The think is you only look as good as your feel and your attitude. I fell attractive although I am no longer a 20 something 100 lb girls. I'm a 43 year old women with great curves, great healthy, great family. I have 2 boys and a husband that think I"m beautiful. It wouldn't matter if I were obese or not.

I'm a health nut because as a nurse it breaks my heart to see so many men/women my age that are overweight on b/p pills, diabetics etc. I've watch my dad "kill" himself slowly with uncontrolled diabetes. He wouldn't change his bad habits he had a stroke at 56, his sister died at 57 and his other brother died at 60 all do to lifestyle choices (and the genetics) that respond negatively to these choices. I know not all folks get heart disease and diabetes if their overweight but its a death sentence in my family

Now I don't know about all those eating clean diets and stuff. I'm not a fanatic. I had a sonic burger yesterday LOL I do cook by scratch at home and always have my whole adult life.

I love being strong and weight workouts are my favorite. I make myself do the cardio because your heart is a muscle. THe muscle with all the vessels feeding it need to be workout to keep them flexible. Those that don't keep their heart healthy end up with all the heart disease.

I will also add that the middle age men have their own self esteem issues and they really don't see the stuff we see as negative. My dh thinks my a$$ is hot. I'll ask him what about those lower dimples. He doesn't see that nick picky crap. Its all us women that critique the hell out of our bodies and other ladies bodies.

Give yourself a break. Its ok if your skin isn't as tight or your ass isn't as high. Rock what you have and love your self!!!

Oh and i want to add how bottom heavy I am LOL my bra size is a 30D, my waist at the belly button is 30 in, my largest area is my thigh and its a wopping - weight let me go remeasure - 38. I'm pear shape for real but I figure out lots of squats give me a high booty. It doesn't sag and can compeat with a young thing except for those besky dimples LOL I use to have a much smaller hip/thigh area but I had to eat supper clean and workout 7 days a week. It not my goal to keep model thin any longer. I look hour glass more than pear cause I workout my shoulder and arms that it balances my large booty. I know if I at supper clean I could drop a few inches but I like my looks and am happy and over 40. I hope the op can get to the same place emotionally.

 

[jengollf]

WOW I hate how defeated the op sounded. I think she needs to reevaluate what her definition of pretty and healthy look like. I'm 43 and no I don't have the ultra then body of my 20's. I wouldn't want it because one I need more body fat right now so I don't get the skeletal old lady face. LOL. I have some dimples on my ass but that because I decided I like my sweet tea more than deprivation. The few dimples aren't' the end of my world. I still wear a bikini. I still had a 26 year old ask me out he came up started talking to be about working out and stuff. He could tell I was in good shape and was totally floored when I told him my age.. I look in shape hot older women LOL. The think is you only look as good as your feel and your attitude. I fell attractive although I am no longer a 20 something 100 lb girls. I'm a 43 year old women with great curves, great healthy, great family. I have 2 boys and a husband that think I"m beautiful. It wouldn't matter if I were obese or not.

I'm a health nut because as a nurse it breaks my heart to see so many men/women my age that are overweight on b/p pills, diabetics etc. I've watch my dad "kill" himself slowly with uncontrolled diabetes. He wouldn't change his bad habits he had a stroke at 56, his sister died at 57 and his other brother died at 60 all do to lifestyle choices (and the genetics) that respond negatively to these choices. I know not all folks get heart disease and diabetes if their overweight but its a death sentence in my family

Now I don't know about all those eating clean diets and stuff. I'm not a fanatic. I had a sonic burger yesterday LOL I do cook by scratch at home and always have my whole adult life.

I love being strong and weight workouts are my favorite. I make myself do the cardio because your heart is a muscle. THe muscle with all the vessels feeding it need to be workout to keep them flexible. Those that don't keep their heart healthy end up with all the heart disease.

I will also add that the middle age men have their own self esteem issues and they really don't see the stuff we see as negative. My dh thinks my a$$ is hot. I'll ask him what about those lower dimples. He doesn't see that nick picky crap. Its all us women that critique the hell out of our bodies and other ladies bodies.

Give yourself a break. Its ok if your skin isn't as tight or your ass isn't as high. Rock what you have and love your self!!!

Oh and i want to add how bottom heavy I am LOL my bra size is a 30D, my waist at the belly button is 30 in, my largest area is my thigh and its a wopping - weight let me go remeasure - 38. I'm pear shape for real but I figure out lots of squats give me a high booty. It doesn't sag and can compeat with a young thing except for those besky dimples LOL I use to have a much smaller hip/thigh area but I had to eat supper clean and workout 7 days a week. It not my goal to keep model thin any longer. I look hour glass more than pear cause I workout my shoulder and arms that it balances my large booty. I know if I at supper clean I could drop a few inches but I like my looks and am happy and over 40. I hope the op can get to the same place emotionally.

Great post--I work in the disability field and I see people every day who could have prevented their disabilities if they had just eaten well and exercised. NOT Tosca Reno Clean Eating. Not Ultra CrossFit/marathon type stuff. Just exercising a few times a week and paying attention to what they put in their mouths--using moderation. In addition, if they started doing these things NOW they could often reverse or at least improve their disability. But do the majority of them do that? No, by the time they cross my desk the majority have given up.

My husband tells me the same thing--he says I am too thin! That is absurd, btw, but it is so sweet of him to say it. (66 inches tall and mid 130s is not too thin--check any chart--and ask my daughters btw--it's healthy, but not too thin!) He thinks my butt is great--cottage cheese and all. So I am clearly hypercritical compared to him. He's the reason I am generally okay with not cracking down on my diet. I take the 80/20 approach. I try to eat well 80% of the time and save my indulgances for date nights with my husband. I workout every day and I maintain. It works.

 

[mrsprincess07]

I guess Momto4 is right...

Perhaps I shouldn't be posting here. It's far too body-focused on what those can and can't do and how awesome they are for being afraid to have some fat on them. I don't roll that way anymore.

With that, I'm outta here. Life is far too short to get caught up in things like this. It just would be nice to find some outlet where EVERY shape and size can partake without being accused of giving up, being defeated, or sad. Being larger in life is far different than losing the pregnancy weight as an example some gave. It's a Fat-hating world we live in and it doesn't matter one's accomplishments nor what they've come to learn with time; it's about what's on the outside that counts. It's about eating a certain way to avoid having shameful girth and potential health risks that ALL sizes suffer from. People can make their assumptions but until you live a day in the life of....

Ciao.

 

[jacmar]

At almost 46 years old, I care more about health now and the long term then how I look in a bikini or what the size of my a**.

I am not 25 anymore and don't want to be.

 

[jacmar]

I guess Momto4 is right...

Perhaps I shouldn't be posting here. It's far too body-focused on what those can and can't do and how awesome they are for being afraid to have some fat on them. I don't roll that way anymore.

With that, I'm outta here. Life is far too short to get caught up in things like this. It just would be nice to find some outlet where EVERY shape and size can partake without being accused of giving up, being defeated, or sad. Being larger in life is far different than losing the pregnancy weight as an example some gave. It's a Fat-hating world we live in and it doesn't matter one's accomplishments nor what they've come to learn with time; it's about what's on the outside that counts. It's about eating a certain way to avoid having shameful girth and potential health risks that ALL sizes suffer from. People can make their assumptions but until you live a day in the life of....

Ciao.

Please don't feel like you have to leave based on the comments of one person. I enjoy reading all the different opinions that occur on these forums.

 

[momto4]

Please don't feel like you have to leave based on the comments of one person. I enjoy reading all the different opinions that occur on these forums.

Please reread my post because no where in it did I ever you should not be posting here.

 

[Cafelattee]

I guess Momto4 is right...

Perhaps I shouldn't be posting here. It's far too body-focused on what those can and can't do and how awesome they are for being afraid to have some fat on them. I don't roll that way anymore.

With that, I'm outta here. Life is far too short to get caught up in things like this. It just would be nice to find some outlet where EVERY shape and size can partake without being accused of giving up, being defeated, or sad. Being larger in life is far different than losing the pregnancy weight as an example some gave. It's a Fat-hating world we live in and it doesn't matter one's accomplishments nor what they've come to learn with time; it's about what's on the outside that counts. It's about eating a certain way to avoid having shameful girth and potential health risks that ALL sizes suffer from. People can make their assumptions but until you live a day in the life of....

Ciao.

I hadn't read your original post prior to posting and hope you see their are those of us that don't think you need a 2% body fat to be healthy. I don't always get the nuances and tone in online forum. i'm sorry if I posted something that came a cross to make you feel unwanted. I personally have a hard time IRL finding women my age that workout at all. They all talk about weight watchers and stuff but no working out. I like this forum cause I know their are other women that enjoy fitness. I personally never talk diet cause I watch my mom do the whole yo-yo diet thing my whole life and now at 63 she looks like crap buts thats another thread.

 

[ReneePruitt]

I agree Mrsprincess i think you have brought up great points, i think so did the others.
One thing too is we cant "hear " anyones voice or tone so sometimes things get out of wak because we can read a post and vet it twisted in what the poster meant to say.
Like i dont think even the op meant to b negitive. I thought it was funny and i think she was just saying what some of us think from time to time. Not all the time.. I know we all had those days where we just feel frumpy and she may have felt that way, at first and decided to make lite of it and make fun and joke. Humor makes everything better! When i read it i laughed and was like " ya i can really relate how funny is that! " it was entertaining and i think everyone kinda took it and made it something more then op meant it to b.
I do think everyone had good points but it ended up being more then two sides i mean read it and it went in more then two directions. But hopfuly noone will leave.

 

[TRSTACIE]

It is common in an online forum for tempers to flare at times because we are unable to see people's expressions and hear the tone of their voices. Sometimes, people may state things in a manner that he/she may not realize has offended someone until the other person posts again and by then it's too late.

That being said, I would hate for anyone to leave the forum because I personally enjoy hearing everyone's opinions. Could some posts have been worded differently? Yes...but that doesn't mean that each post wasn't valuable. I like this forum because it makes me think about my life and the choices I am making. So, I hope that no one leaves and that everyone will continue to share their wisdom and experience. I for one appreciate it all!

 

[jacmar]

Please reread my post because no where in it did I ever you should not be posting here.

I was responding to mrsprincess quote not yours.

 

[jengollf]

I thought forums were a place where different opinions and values come together and are discussed. That's what is happening here. We are all entitled to eat well and exercise (or not) for whatever reasons appeal to us. When you read other people's thoughts, it gives you a view into how other people think and why. Someone posting an opinion that differs from yours isn't the same as making a judgement about your opinion.

And there is nothing wrong with people having a vision of what they think is beautiful. Just because I look at bodies like Cathe's, Jillian Michaels, etc, and think they are beautiful, doesn't automatically mean I look at everyone else who falls short of their level of fitness (and discipline!) and judge them as sad, ugly and lacking. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes--no one said it didn't. But I do think a musclular physique is beautiful and it is what I strive for. But (as I mentioned in other posts) I am not willing to go to the lengths necessary, diet-wise, to possibly achieve the "ideal." And that's ok, too.

BTW--"healthy" is beautiful and if anyone has ever read The Obesity Myth you'd know learn that carrying around some extra weight is actually a good thing. However, even the author of this book stresses that exercise is always a good and necessary thing. And that's why we are all here on this forum, right? Because we love to exercise!