Negative attitude/comments regarding health & fitness

[pgeiger]

Suzanne, just go for it!!!!! I am SURE that anyone would be flattered and thrilled to talk to someone else who is into fitness. Think about how insular we often feel we are, in a world where we are sometimes seen as "freaks" for our workout habits - it's great to get a comment from someone like-minded.

The best compliment I've gotten in recent memory was sitting at a bar waiting for my friends to arrive. A guy sitting a few seats down from me leaned over and said "I just have to tell you that your arms are amazing!" He then laughed and said that was likely the most odd compliment to give a woman, but I replied that maybe that was true, but it was one of the best I've ever gotten because I actually WORK for these arms! I was smiling for days and still think about it. So - go for it!!!! You'll make someone's day.

I agree, it makes my day when someone compliments my arms or my muscles. If I see a woman who is in good shape I make point to compliment her because I know how hard she is working and that she appreciates it being noticed. I recently saw a woman walking down the street who had great calves. I told her she had fabulous calves and she lit up and commented on how she works to. She didn't think I was some weirdo or hitting on her, she truly appreciated the compliment.

Pam

 

[REMeeks]

Thank you Justina!!! I am so glad I found Cathe forums, every one is so supportive and kind here. I do love Cathe's DVD's, she truly has changed my life. I never thought I would live a fit lifestyle but I love it and look forward to working out with her! I would not be willing to give this up, i suppose I just need to focus on the compliments and not the negativity. It's just hard to live with some one who is unsupportive about what makes me happy. I love my legs whether he does or not! I'm glad you love your haircut regardless of what he thinks! Sometimes we just have to do what makes us happy, right?

 

[Traildoggie]

What a shame ....DH is not only not being supportive, but critical. You exercise for yourself not for someone else. Keep doing what makes YOU happy and feeling good. . Do you think he's jealous of your dedication? and envious of your muscles?
If you've become significantly more fit than he is... maybe he'd consider joining in?

 

[Fit_mommy]

I love working out and don't want to give it up because some people don't think it's attractive for females to have some muscle. I grew up with an active family and was always encouraged to exercise and play sports, whereas my husband wasn't, and is overweight, I worry a lot about our differences when it comes to fitness

I'm sorry he isn't supportive of you.

So if you don't mind my saying so, I think that the next time he feels the need to offer his negative opinnion about your muscular physique/weight lifting habits then perhaps you need to return the "favor" and suggest that he needs to lose weight! That'll fix him!

 

[REMeeks]

Lol! I have tried to kindly encourage him to exercise, but so far no such luck. He was fit and had great arms when we met, I am hoping to get him back to that point soon! He over-eats constantly and drinks a lot of beer so I certainly have my concerns, appearance aside, he really needs to do it for his health! I want us to be good examples for our daughter. I hope he will follow my lead eventually, I keep teasing that I could beat him in a push up contest but he's yet to take me up on the challenge, probably because he knows I'm right! Haha

 

[Fit_mommy]

I keep teasing that I could beat him in a push up contest but he's yet to take me up on the challenge, probably because he knows I'm right! Haha

Smart man!

 

[cokonkel]

Thank you Justina!!! I am so glad I found Cathe forums, every one is so supportive and kind here. I do love Cathe's DVD's, she truly has changed my life. I never thought I would live a fit lifestyle but I love it and look forward to working out with her! I would not be willing to give this up, i suppose I just need to focus on the compliments and not the negativity. It's just hard to live with some one who is unsupportive about what makes me happy. I love my legs whether he does or not! I'm glad you love your haircut regardless of what he thinks! Sometimes we just have to do what makes us happy, right?

Oh my gosh, you look AMAZING!! I'm so sorry you have to endure criticism from your DH. It's obviously coming from a place of insecurity so hopefully he'll come to realize that and join you in your workouts. Maybe someday then he'll feel comfortable taking you up on that push up challenge! Again, you look incredible so keep doing what you're doing girl!

 

[REMeeks]

Thank you so much cokonkel! You lovely ladies gave me a self esteem boost that I really needed. I feel a lot better after sharing that and receiving such positive feedback. Finding Cathe forums has been as helpful for me as discovering Cathe's DVDs! Its so nice to be able to "chat" with other women who are passionate about fitness and so supportive of one another, Cathletes rock!

 

[ReneePruitt]

Thank you Justina!!! I am so glad I found Cathe forums, every one is so supportive and kind here. I do love Cathe's DVD's, she truly has changed my life. I never thought I would live a fit lifestyle but I love it and look forward to working out with her! I would not be willing to give this up, i suppose I just need to focus on the compliments and not the negativity. It's just hard to live with some one who is unsupportive about what makes me happy. I love my legs whether he does or not! I'm glad you love your haircut regardless of what he thinks! Sometimes we just have to do what makes us happy, right?

I have to add I don't think you are TOO muscular! I think you look sleek sexy and. Strong! Very very hard to achieve ...I know cause I'm so not there yet.. I used to be but because of negative comments I started slacking on working out and my food intake became " normal " by my " friends standards " So now I will not let that affect me again. I think you look awesome! Beautiful so here here to strength and fitness!

 

[REMeeks]

Thank you Renee! Your kind words mean so much! Your comments have certainly brought a smile to my face. I wish you the best of luck with your fitness endeavors and have no doubt you will succeed, especially with so many encouraging women here cheering each other on

 

[nckfitheart2009]

Oh---It is me again retrieving past thread.

I love this inspiring and motivational thread so much I could not help myself not to!!
I miss enthusiasm from some cathletes who were actively interacting here

To kick off the discussion I would like to add sentence above --- So true IMO

The myth that women shouldn't lift heavy is only perpetuated by women who fear work and men who fear women."

 

[~Elsie]

The myth that women shouldn't lift heavy is only perpetuated by women who fear work and men who fear women."

Hahaa! I think this is so true Nathalie. I would expand this to (at least my feeling is) any and nearly all of the judgements and criticisms that we hold about others and ourselves. It usually comes from fear, self doubt or a societal perpetuated ideal of perfectionism that we have been conditioned over to over to believe. I fully admit that I have held some of these judgements about men. I've written off guys in the past for appearing to spend too much time in the gym or waxing bar as being vain etc.

Sorry to veer off a bit there, I just needed to confess that I think!

I'm very sorry to hear that some of us have unsupportive spouses and family. My spouse isn't involved at all, but I am happy that he isn't critical either. I don't judge his lack of interest in activity either. It just would be nice to have him take part just for the company I suppose. lol.
Some of my family are also very judgey when it comes to my weight(among other things). I'm either dying from being too thin or I have become a little dumpy. I just don't care though. As long as I feel healthy and balanced, I'm good and they're @ssholes!

Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences. I'm really happy to have found this supportive forum. You're strong & you ROCK!

 

[nckfitheart2009]

Sorry to veer off a bit there, I just needed to confess that I think!

This is fine IMO. That is what the forum is about. Sharing any thoughts relating to fitness

Some of my family are also very judgey when it comes to my weight(among other things). I'm either dying from being too thin or I have become a little dumpy.

My family have been pretty ok. They compliment about the way I look but at the same time they sometime complain about
me discussing too often about nutrition and training. At some point I decided to no longer mention it

 

[Boomer1964]

After being overweight most of my life, now I have family members saying that I need to start eating again. An uncle of mine said that I
needed a cheese burger last week. I just laugh at them and say that I have eaten enough burgers to last me a lifetime. I don't care what people say
about me. I am finally doing me and it feels great. I eat all the time just not what I used to eat. I eat for energy not boredom or anything else.
I am in control now and no one can change my mind. I do have a goal, to be the most healthy me. I am finally getting there. It is not a
competition with anybody, but some people think that it is. I tell them that they can do the same things as I am doing and it will happen
for them.

 

[tslop49]

I'm at the airport reading this forum, and as a representative of the formerly "stronger sex" ,I know that if I see a woman who is in great shape, or the proud owner of some guns, I am impressed!! I know she had to work for those and survive some negative " idiot" comments to achieve it. And guys, I can tell you that if you think your male privilege alone makes you stronger than these ladies you are misinformed!! A non strength trained average male will suffer a blow to their tender ego!! These forums are filled with examples of women achieving amazing goals in fitness and strength and I , for one, admire the effort and sacrifice, often while raising a family and working. So get off your a$$ guys or be left behind!!!!!

 

[desertambrosia]

Nicely stated, Tom. I happen to agree with everything. LOL!

 

[tslop49]

You are one of the reasons I wrote it!!! Own it!!!!

 

[nckfitheart2009]

I am finally getting there. It is not a
competition with anybody, but some people think that it is. I tell them that they can do the same things as I am doing and it will happen
for them.

No matter how well and hard you try to convince them they can do the same, they "probaby" know deep down they do not have the gut
you have to achieve your goal. You might even come accross people giving you hard time because they get frustrated.

I don't care what people say
about me. I am finally doing me and it feels great. I eat all the time just not what I used to eat. I eat for energy not boredom or anything else.
I am in control now and no one can change my mind.

Could not have said it better! 2 key elements CONTROL and MINDSET--- It is about you pleasing yourself not anyone else.

It is not a competition with anybody, but some people think that it is.

Whoever is feeling uncomfortably frustrated because he/she feels in competition with you, That is his/her problem. It is not yours!!
You carry on doing your thing with a smile

I relate to your post, so I know exactly what you are talking about!

Take care Boomer and very well done

 

[nckfitheart2009]

I'm at the airport reading this forum, and as a representative of the formerly "stronger sex" ,I know that if I see a woman who is in great shape, or the proud owner of some guns, I am impressed!! I know she had to work for those and survive some negative " idiot" comments to achieve it. And guys, I can tell you that if you think your male privilege alone makes you stronger than these ladies you are misinformed!! A non strength trained average male will suffer a blow to their tender ego!! These forums are filled with examples of women achieving amazing goals in fitness and strength and I , for one, admire the effort and sacrifice, often while raising a family and working. So get off your a$$ guys or be left behind!!!!!

@tslop49

Tom, Your post has truly made my evening! It is the evening here Belgium time
I just wished many more man shared your opinion

 

[~Elsie]

Tom, we love you dear!!