Interesting thread. I have so many stories, but am sure there is a character limit on posts!
It totally makes my day when someone mentions my effort. However, the only people that seem to notice my effort are those who touch me. And since I don't make it a habit of letting others touch me, I don't get many compliments. However, when my guy or doctor or massage therapist mentions that I have great muscle tone and to keep doing what I am doing, it makes my day. My guy the other day was talking at the Christmas party and didn't know I overheard him talking about me - he was telling a group of people that I am a machine when it comes to working out and he is in awe of me. It meant so much.
I will get someone mentioning my fitness when they see me flex, but again, since I don't make it a habit of flexing, I don't get too many mentions. People will notice when I pick up something heavy or am just naturally flexing muscles (hiking, going up stairs, tubing, water skiing, laughing, doing natural movements). I am super skinny (so I have been rudely told my entire life) and therefore I believe people think I am about to break in half and can't carry more than a purse. When they see muscle, they are surprised.
When people do mention that I "don't have to work out" or "watch what I eat" I always correct them I do both and how hard I work at both. I just don't want people (mainly women) thinking I float through life fit without any effort. Sure, I bet if I stopped working out or watching what I eat I would probably still be skinny (same weight), but I would NOT be fit and I know it and tell people.
I remember about 5 years ago my girlfriend had a personal trainer and asked if I wanted to do a complimentary session with her at her gym. I said yes. After our warm-up, he had us each grab 1 lb pink dumbbells to do bicep curls. I thought that was odd since we were done warming up but figured it was a warm-up extension. I realized the bicep curls were our actual workout, so I told him "hang on, I can lift heavier weight". I grabbed two 25 lb dumbbells and he said there was no way I could lift those. He actually said that! I did the reps without issue. Then we moved to chest flys and he still had my friend use the 1 lb dumbbells while I told him I could do two 25lb dumbbells. He told me that was too heavy and that I would fatigue my muscles. I asked him "isn't that the point?" This went on the entire hour. I realize he didn't know me, it was a complimentary session, but he didn't even try to push me and when he saw that I could lift heavier - way heavier than 1 lb - he seemingly tried to talk me out of it. He was unable to recognize my current fitness level at the time and build off of that - it was as if he assumed all girls should and could only lift the 1 lb dumbbells (for some that is plenty, but he should have recognized for me it wasn't and not try to discourage me). I told my friend a few times in the workout she should push herself and try a little heavier (5, 8, 10 lb?) and he interrupted and would say "careful, you can bulk up", as if that was a bad thing.
My girlfriend later asked if I was interested in always doing sessions with her and the trainer. I politely told her no and to be honest I think he was doing her a disservice. She is much stronger than he or she thinks and she should push herself more (she and I have the same body type, and I could tell by all the chit chatting and lack of sweat the 1 lb dumbbells weren't doing a thing for her fitness). She told me this guy told her that all women need is very light resistance for fitness and anything heavier than what he recommends would bulk us up. Again, I don't think that is a bad thing! However, I did tell her "Look at me - I was lifting 25 times heavier than you per arm - do I look 'bulked up'"?
I don't know why others are so interested in others' bodies anyway! Why do people think it is acceptable to remark on my body? I get a lot of skinny jokes / mentions and have all my life. It is usually coupled with why do I work out, why do I watch what I eat. My grandmother mentioned to me about 5 years ago "you are as skinny as you were in high school!" but it was in a negative tone. WHY IS IT NOT OK TO BE HEALTHY? WHY IS IT NOT ACCEPTABLE TO GO THROUGH LIFE WITHOUT GAINING A TON OF OR ANY WEIGHT? I would never say "Gee, grandma, you have gained at least 100 lbs since high school!" Or when people mention to me not to pick something up since I will break in half, I don't think it is acceptable to reply not to sit in that chair or you will break the chair in half. (and I believe I know the difference between an innocent remark about my body composition versus the remarks made in disgust or a judgmental way).
I could go on and on, but won't.
It totally makes my day when someone mentions my effort. However, the only people that seem to notice my effort are those who touch me. And since I don't make it a habit of letting others touch me, I don't get many compliments. However, when my guy or doctor or massage therapist mentions that I have great muscle tone and to keep doing what I am doing, it makes my day. My guy the other day was talking at the Christmas party and didn't know I overheard him talking about me - he was telling a group of people that I am a machine when it comes to working out and he is in awe of me. It meant so much.
I will get someone mentioning my fitness when they see me flex, but again, since I don't make it a habit of flexing, I don't get too many mentions. People will notice when I pick up something heavy or am just naturally flexing muscles (hiking, going up stairs, tubing, water skiing, laughing, doing natural movements). I am super skinny (so I have been rudely told my entire life) and therefore I believe people think I am about to break in half and can't carry more than a purse. When they see muscle, they are surprised.
When people do mention that I "don't have to work out" or "watch what I eat" I always correct them I do both and how hard I work at both. I just don't want people (mainly women) thinking I float through life fit without any effort. Sure, I bet if I stopped working out or watching what I eat I would probably still be skinny (same weight), but I would NOT be fit and I know it and tell people.
I remember about 5 years ago my girlfriend had a personal trainer and asked if I wanted to do a complimentary session with her at her gym. I said yes. After our warm-up, he had us each grab 1 lb pink dumbbells to do bicep curls. I thought that was odd since we were done warming up but figured it was a warm-up extension. I realized the bicep curls were our actual workout, so I told him "hang on, I can lift heavier weight". I grabbed two 25 lb dumbbells and he said there was no way I could lift those. He actually said that! I did the reps without issue. Then we moved to chest flys and he still had my friend use the 1 lb dumbbells while I told him I could do two 25lb dumbbells. He told me that was too heavy and that I would fatigue my muscles. I asked him "isn't that the point?" This went on the entire hour. I realize he didn't know me, it was a complimentary session, but he didn't even try to push me and when he saw that I could lift heavier - way heavier than 1 lb - he seemingly tried to talk me out of it. He was unable to recognize my current fitness level at the time and build off of that - it was as if he assumed all girls should and could only lift the 1 lb dumbbells (for some that is plenty, but he should have recognized for me it wasn't and not try to discourage me). I told my friend a few times in the workout she should push herself and try a little heavier (5, 8, 10 lb?) and he interrupted and would say "careful, you can bulk up", as if that was a bad thing.
My girlfriend later asked if I was interested in always doing sessions with her and the trainer. I politely told her no and to be honest I think he was doing her a disservice. She is much stronger than he or she thinks and she should push herself more (she and I have the same body type, and I could tell by all the chit chatting and lack of sweat the 1 lb dumbbells weren't doing a thing for her fitness). She told me this guy told her that all women need is very light resistance for fitness and anything heavier than what he recommends would bulk us up. Again, I don't think that is a bad thing! However, I did tell her "Look at me - I was lifting 25 times heavier than you per arm - do I look 'bulked up'"?
I don't know why others are so interested in others' bodies anyway! Why do people think it is acceptable to remark on my body? I get a lot of skinny jokes / mentions and have all my life. It is usually coupled with why do I work out, why do I watch what I eat. My grandmother mentioned to me about 5 years ago "you are as skinny as you were in high school!" but it was in a negative tone. WHY IS IT NOT OK TO BE HEALTHY? WHY IS IT NOT ACCEPTABLE TO GO THROUGH LIFE WITHOUT GAINING A TON OF OR ANY WEIGHT? I would never say "Gee, grandma, you have gained at least 100 lbs since high school!" Or when people mention to me not to pick something up since I will break in half, I don't think it is acceptable to reply not to sit in that chair or you will break the chair in half. (and I believe I know the difference between an innocent remark about my body composition versus the remarks made in disgust or a judgmental way).
I could go on and on, but won't.
