Oh My Goodness! I love this thread. I have so many comments and so many of my own vents, I don't even know where to begin.
I met my guy in college and he worked out (weights and cardio) and was yummy. We would even go to the gym together and it was great. Over the years he just stopped. The thing is that he is approaching 50 and is still slim, so he and no one else sees an issue. The problem is he has basically zero muscle tone, his skin is sagging, he is quite billowy and due to his diet of eating like a teenager whose parents are out of town, his skin, eyes and stamina are just horrible. I also constantly hear about how tired, sick, sore, etc. he is. (all while lying on the couch inhaling sugar). I have also noticed lately he is forgetful and just has brain fog.
He did an IronMan a bit over a decade ago and to this day I have to hear what an athlete he is. That was an awesome activity he did...but it was over 10 years ago! He is also an all-or-nothing guy. Meaning he will suddenly get the urge to mountain bike, road bike, run, etc and will go out for a 100-mile ride, steep mountain or 15 mile run. Then come home and collapse for 3 days. All while moaning how the trail kicked his ass, how his time was slow, how the bike needs tuning and how he can no longer move. I tell him I feel like I am with a 90 year old. Eating and exercising, in my opinion, should make you feel energized and ready to take on the day - not make you run to the bathroom or the couch and start decomposing.
Just yesterday we were shopping and I was in the fitting room with him and I saw his inflamed, puffy body, splotchy skin, dark circles under his eyes and just fatigued look on him...yet he is slim! I just feel sad for what kind of life he could be having and one we could be having. If we have an activity planned, I have to ask him NOT to exercise since he will be a slug for several days and not be able to function (since he goes all out for several hours, rather than just a shorter workout).
The thing is, he knows. He always tells me I am like a machine and he is in awe of me and he wants to eat like I eat. I tell him to do it! He sees me prepare things and sees how easy it is and sees how good it makes me feel and look. Yet, he will do it once, then go straight back to fast food. Then he tells me he doesn't have time - he will start a good eating program when he retires. He will start exercising more consistently when he retires. He will do everything...when he retires. I told him he eats now anyway...just eat right!
He also noticed how horrible and splotchy his skin looks. I put up several pictures of us and in every single one, my skin is bright and my eyes are bright. He looks absolutely horrible. People always think there is a 20 year age difference between us (I am ten years younger than I am and he is ten years older than he is). I just don't understand why he doesn't' follow through with the knowledge he has.
This I must also vent about - I exercise and eat right for me and for him and for my family and friends (I feel like I can provide more for them while healthy and feeling great). However...I find it infuriating when he and I are somewhere and strangers/acquaintances/whomever make the comment about how thin he is and he responds with he is a runner, biker, swimmer, does races, IronMan, etc. (again...over ten years ago. Once! Has not ridden his road or tri bike in over a year, last time he swam was probably several years ago and will run maybe every couple of months). They then turn to me and say it must be hard to keep up with him! (if only they saw him constantly on the coach groaning about his ailments on a daily, hourly basis). They will then ask if I am also a runner/biker. I tell them no, I do several other daily activities. When they find out I workout from home, the look on their face says "oh, how cute" and then say I should go out and try to keep up with him. This happens so often due to our work/social schedules.
I have to laugh at the men think they are tasty muffins comment - so so true. I work with almost all men and am in awe at how hot they think they are. Also, the comment about food-pushers...I am surrounded by them! I do my own thing, go on my own vacations, and live my own life. Everyone disagrees with my lifestyle (yet wants to follow it...it is quite confusing), but I am the only one without meds and chronic issues. I also wake up from a night of sleep without the need to immediately take a nap.
Clare - *hugs*. I know about being with a workaholic with priorities that are just demeaning to your soul.
It smartens men up when they are fortunate enough to come out relatively together. He has always been active, but obviously the smoking and stress was way too much for him. I have seen stress and hopelessness just do people's health in no matter how 'fit' their bodies might be.
