If you and your spouse have the same name

and you receive a letter from a lawyer, how do you prefer to be addressed?

  • Mr. and Mrs. Richard Ricardo

    Votes: 45 46.9%

  • Mr. and Ms. Richard Ricardo

    Votes: 1 1.0%

  • Mr. Richard Ricardo and Mrs. Lucy Ricardo

    Votes: 2 2.1%

  • Mr. Richard Ricardo and Ms. Lucy Ricardo

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Mr. Richard and Mrs. Lucy Ricardo

    Votes: 4 4.2%

  • Mr. Richard and Ms. Lucy Ricardo

    Votes: 3 3.1%

  • Richard and Lucy Ricardo

    Votes: 28 29.2%

  • Richard Ricardo and Lucy Ricardo

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Other

    Votes: 13 13.5%
  • Total voters
    96
I voted Mr. Richard and Ms. Lucy Ricardo, but I don't care that much.

The only name thing like this that drives me nuts is when my grandma sends me letters to Mrs. Ricky Ricardo. It's one thing to use his name when the letter is also to him, but my name isn't Ricky! I tried to explain this to her, and now she addresses them to Ms. Ricky Ricardo. Sigh.
 
I am a Mrs. and Ms. (and a Dr. too though I would not take offense if my lawyer did not address me that way). I would be very annoyed if my first name is omitted altogether (as in the first two examples), and would prefer Ms. over Mrs. (Just to make sure, I rarely look at the envelope to see how I am addressed.)

Also, perhaps it is a cultural difference, but I tend to write the female name before the male name, so my ideal would be Lucy and Richard Ricardo.
 
jodijodi said:
I voted Mr. Richard and Ms. Lucy Ricardo, but I don't care that much.

The only name thing like this that drives me nuts is when my grandma sends me letters to Mrs. Ricky Ricardo. It's one thing to use his name when the letter is also to him, but my name isn't Ricky! I tried to explain this to her, and now she addresses them to Ms. Ricky Ricardo. Sigh.
Click to expand...

Too funny and Amen to THAT! I cannot stand when I am addressed as Mrs. Ricky R.
 
I agree with Mary. I like the Mr. and Mrs. Ricardo.

Speaking of cultural differences, I'm Serbian and in our culture there is a tradition of calling women by a feminized version of their husband's name. For example, I would be Darrinica-the ica being the feminine form of Darrin. It's an older generation thing, but someone once called for my aunt, asking for Trpkoica and my aunt told them there was no one there by that name not realizing they were asking for her. Talk about sexism!
 
I'm a traditionalist so I chose Mr. and Mrs. Richard Ricardo. I think the envelope looks nicer that way, too. All in all, I really don't care and rarely look, but when I'm addressing formal letters or invitations, this is how I do it, unless both are professionals and have a title. To me, it is the accepted standard, and it would be very difficult to know the personal preferences of each of your clients.

I feel the same about the salutation. If it were a casual letter, I think it would be fine to just use Dear Richard and Lucy.
 
Any mail that came to me addressed as Mr and Mrs Richard Ricardo would be sent straight back unopened. I cannot believe that in today's age of equality (supposedly) any professional body would do a woman the discourtesy of making her no more than an appendage to her husband, to the extent that she no longer has her own first name.

My "other" vote would be "Lucy and Richard Ricardo." Why the hell should he be first? Do you know for sure that he is the one taking care of all matters financial, legal and administrative in the family? In our house, that would not be the case. Most of the accounts in this family are held in my name and as such, I expect all mail concerning those accounts to address me first.

I'd do my research before addressing anything to anyone.

Clare
 
Since I usually know my clients, I almost always use Dear Ricky and Lucy in the salutation. If I don't, I'll use "Dear Mr. and Mrs. Ricardo". The issue is how to address the letter. I never know what to do. So, for a couple around my age, I do Richard and Lucy Ricardo. If I don't know the couple well, I tend towards the more traditional. But I rarely use "Mr. and Mrs. Ricardo" for the address because I prefer to have more info on the envelope so it gets to the right address.

Then there are couples like me, that take two lines:
Mr. Steven Turnip
Ms. Nancy Fancy

But in some ways, that's easier.
 
Last edited:
Any mail that was sent to Mr. and Mrs. Richard Ricardo to my house would be sent back too -- because we're not the Ricardos. HA!! LOL

But I actually like Mr. and Mrs. Husband. I guess I'm traditional. I'm very secure in my identity and would not feel as though it were being stripped from me. I think that we've become such a politically-correct nation that sometimes we find offense where none was intended.

To be safe, however, I'd go with Mr. Richard Ricardo and Ms. Lucy Ricardo. When I was in journalism school (a mere lifetime ago), we were taught to use Ms. for women.

Hope this helps Ms. Nancy Fancypants. :)
 
maddiesmum said:
Any mail that came to me addressed as Mr and Mrs Richard Ricardo would be sent straight back unopened. I cannot believe that in today's age of equality (supposedly) any professional body would do a woman the discourtesy of making her no more than an appendage to her husband, to the extent that she no longer has her own first name.

My "other" vote would be "Lucy and Richard Ricardo." Why the hell should he be first? Do you know for sure that he is the one taking care of all matters financial, legal and administrative in the family? In our house, that would not be the case. Most of the accounts in this family are held in my name and as such, I expect all mail concerning those accounts to address me first.

I'd do my research before addressing anything to anyone.

Clare
Click to expand...

That's what I used to think, Clare, but it's a whole new world. We feminists are dinosaurs. Things don't work the way we're used to. More clients are offended by not being called "Mrs. Jack Black" than are offended by being called it! That's why I have to ask these questions.

As for being first, it's immaterial. If the letter is going to both parties, there are no presumptions that one is taking care of matters and the other isn't. Either party can open the letter and take care of the matter.
 
I go for the traditional Mr and Mrs. Richard Ricardo.
I rarely look at how an envelope is addressed to me, and I'm older so I'm more comfortable with that. For personal mail, I believe that the salutation should say, Dear Lucy and Ricky if it is from Lucy's friend or family and vice versa for Ricky's family and friends.
ellie
 
Mr. & Mrs. Ricky Ricardo, or (as I sometimes see at our household), Dr. & Mrs. Ricky Ricardo.

Although I got a piece of mail address to Mr. & Mrs. Fred Mertz, which was supposed to go to a different address entirely. Now THAT I hate, because it means I have to make sure it gets back in the mailbox. :mad:

I don't take offense at the Mrs. Ricky Ricardo part. I guess I live in "bigger fish to fry" world... I've go so much more to worry about than that these days!
 
I would not be offended by any of it, but would prefer more info on the envelope than Mr. and Mrs. Ricardo. I am a Dr. so personally, I get a kick out of seeing that but don't expect it and most people don't seem to know what to do with the female being Dr., so they just ignore it. Inside, depending on the nature of the letter, first names would be nice - but that depends on my relationship with the attorney as well, and whether or not the attorney is actually a part of the letter or if it is from an assistant.
 
These result in the worst looking letters:

Mr. Ricky Ricardo and Ms. Lucy McGillacuddy-Ricardo

Dear Mr. Ricardo and Ms. McGillacuddy-Ricardo:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Our Newsletter

Get awesome content delivered straight to your inbox.

Top