If you and your spouse have the same name

[lala1]

Nancy...only one option ??? I voted for the Mr. and Mrs. Richard Ricardo, but wouldn't mind the Mr Richard R and Mrs. Lucy R...etc. It seems, though, from reading some of the responses that your damned if you do and damned if you don't. I do expect professional mail to be mailed to me using a prefix. I don't like the Lucy Ricardo unless it is from a friend or family member. Just think that professionals like to be addressed in a certain way, their mailings should reflect that, too.

The only mail that goes unopened by me (except for credit card offers) are those that spell my name wrong.

 

[SheWolf]

That is exactly how I feel!! And it bothers me even more when it's from my MIL

Okay I have to chime in here. None of the option really bother me if the correspondence is intended for both of us. Just get my name and address right.

BUT..... Like Catherine said, if it is something just for me do not and I mean do not address it to Mrs. Ricard Ricardo. My MIL does this all the time and I just want to scream "Hey, look I was someone long before I ever met your son!".

Alas, she is from a age where she just adores being Mrs. Richard Riccardo!

 

[MAYNARDSMOM]

I may look at the two people become one different than you. My husband and I make our life's decisions behind closed doors. Our life together is ours and no one (parents, friends, family) are invited to share in our private decisions. To outsiders we are united as one. We argue and disagree, but we do not invite outsiders into our relationship decisions or our arguments.
This is how our marriage has survived happily for 27 years.

I agree with you there.

Another question - is there a check in this alleged envelope ?

 

[dragonf1y]

Another person in the "whoo-hoo! i got mail!" camp.
I am not really picky about how I am addressed. I like being married so I can be addressed as Mrs. Richard Ricardo or Mrs. Lucille Ricardo. Both are me and I open every thing to Mr. R Ricardo too.

 

[Miss Lee]

Although I got a piece of mail address to Mr. & Mrs. Fred Mertz, which was supposed to go to a different address entirely. Now THAT I hate, because it means I have to make sure it gets back in the mailbox.

This made me laugh so hard I almost peed my pants :-0. This happens to me every.single.day. I am so sick of this, and it makes me wonder about the mail that I'm not getting. Whenever offered, I have my bills sent by email -- I simply don't trust the USPS!

I don't take offense at the Mrs. Ricky Ricardo part. I guess I live in "bigger fish to fry" world... I've go so much more to worry about than that these days!

ITA!

 

[Miss Lee]

and how would you actually do Berry99's double Dr? Dr. and Dr. Richard Ricardo...

My FIL and MIL are both MD's and, IMHO, the proper way to address their envelope would be Drs. Richard and Lucille Ricardo.

This thread is a riot!!

 

[sparrow13]

Both are me and I open every thing to Mr. R Ricardo too.

Same here! His mail is mine, so who cares how it's addressed!

 

[lcobb2]

My DH and I are very non-traditional. He's in the military and I earned a Ph.D. and kept my name. I would prefer:

Dr. "Smith" (me) and LTC Jones (DH)--that's Leuteneint Colonel.

On the civilian side, I'd prefer:

Dr. "Smith" and Mr. Jones.

 

[cataddict]

Another in the "Woo hoo I got mail!" camp.

This kind of thing bothered me when I was younger but I'm just too old to give a *&^ about how the envelope looks just so the name is spelled right! (and that is apparently a challenge since my last name is uncommon and sounds like another name that is common and people assume I don't know how to spell my own name and change it. Sigh. Another topic for another day.) My identity has never been determined by my last name, which was derived from a paternal line anyway so it's not like I'm maintaining any kind of a female dynasty.

"Mrs. Lucille Ricardo" was traditionally used to indicate a widow (as opposed to Mrs. Richard Ricardo when the husband was still living) so those of you who want mail that way might find some grandmother resistance at doing that!

I'm looking at the Christmas cards I've gotten so far and most of them are written to "Ricky and Lucy Ricardo" except from the people who know my husband and not me---then it's Mr & Mrs Ricky Ricardo. I don't think people intend offense, they don't know what to do when everyone seems to have a different preference.

 

[patchworkpenguin]

Another in the "who-hoo I got mail, but is it something I actually care about?"

What drives me crazy is when I see books and other 'official' things authored by 'Mrs. Richard Ricardo', and either the woman's name is lost to us or they have it in parentheses behind the husband's name such as...

Mrs, Richard Ricardo {Lucille}.

This drives me nuts!

 

[patchworkpenguin]

"Mrs. Lucille Ricardo" was traditionally used to indicate a widow (as opposed to Mrs. Richard Ricardo when the husband was still living) so those of you who want mail that way might find some grandmother resistance at doing that!

That's interesting, I hadn't heard of that before.

 

[MommaPew]

Okay I'm in several "camps" here

• Just happy to get mail (especially if not a bill)
• voted Other as I prefer: Mr. & Mrs. Ricardo
• None of it really bothers me as you can't make everyone happy
• Open DH's mail most of the time as it would just sit there for YEARS with out getting opened (this I learned in my 1st year of marriage)

Just a thought about using "Dr." in the title. Are you still not a Mr or a Mrs/Ms. too? Just wondering.

What I hate is when the woman doesn't change her last name and we have to be pyschic to know it and she gets upset for addressing her by her DH's name.

 

[LaughingWater]

My husband never cared about "Dr." as a title. In fact, he always introduces himself by his first name, even in the hospital setting. My brother-in-law, on the other hand, is a real stickler about it. He once chewed me out for not insisting that "Dr." be on our place card at a wedding.

I will say that seeing my first name misspelled by someone who should probably know by now how to spell it ~ like...my sister-in-law for the last 16 years ~ does kinda irk me. It's 4 freakin' letters.

 

[netsnotes16]

Jane Doette and Joe Doe.

 

[Miss Lee]

My husband never cared about "Dr." as a title. In fact, he always introduces himself by his first name, even in the hospital setting. My brother-in-law, on the other hand, is a real stickler about it. He once chewed me out for not insisting that "Dr." be on our place card at a wedding.

I will say that seeing my first name misspelled by someone who should probably know by now how to spell it ~ like...my sister-in-law for the last 16 years ~ does kinda irk me. It's 4 freakin' letters.

Lori, my DH doesn't get hung up about the 'Dr' title either. In fact, when people ask him what he does he usually answers, "I work at the hospital". LMAO!!!

 

[orphylea]

Well PHOOEY! I probably just irritated a whole lot of people with how I addressed Christmas cards if they are like you all. I just don't really think about the implications of this stuff that much. I just want the damn envelopes to get where they are supposed to go and for it to look nice. Oh well, onward.

 

[LaughingWater]

Lori, my DH doesn't get hung up about the 'Dr' title either. In fact, when people ask him what he does he usually answers, "I work at the hospital". LMAO!!!

!!!! Mine used to say the same thing. Now that he's working for a pharmaceutical company, he answers, " I'm a corporate tool."

After the posting of this thread, I just noticed that our choir parent phone list has quite a few moms on it who kept their last names.

 

[meowracer]

!!!! Mine used to say the same thing. Now that he's working for a pharmaceutical company, he answers, " I'm a corporate tool."

After the posting of this thread, I just noticed that our choir parent phone list has quite a few moms on it who kept their last names.

Lori - I am going to remember that one - a corporate tool! I also work for a pharma co. and honestly, they hired me just to call me Dr. at the big trade shows I will introduce myself as first and last name, only to have them come right after me and say - yes, this is Dr. " ", or resident PhD. I am proud of what I do, of the work I put into earning the PhD, but I don't introduce myself as Dr and it sounds weird to be called that, especially amongst thousands of medical doctors!!! Oh well, I happily smile and count my paycheck ... as their corporate tool!

 

[LaughingWater]

Being a Corporate Tool does have its perks. He still makes decent money and is able to spend a lot more time with us. He can attend functions for the kids and is home for the holidays. He also discovered a second love ~ building furniture and working on the house. Back when he was practicing clinical medicine, we hardly saw him.

His alternate response is, "I'm workin' for The Man."

Oh, and staying on topic: We just got a Christmas card from someone who has known us for...oh, 7 years or so...and my first name was misspelled. Argh! It's the easier version of the two most common spellings, for God's sake!!! 4 letters!! 4 letters!!!