I think he loves me!

banslug

banslug

Cathlete
:eek:THINK?

Here's the story, so bear with me. I've been dating a guy for about 18 months now. Great guy, awesome with/for my kids, great with/for me, positive, fun, rarely complains or is grumpy, has done and would do anything for anybody, etc. I love this guy. But he's not a person who openly talks about feelings.

Well, I dropped the 3-word L phrase about 6 months ago and his response was, "you do?" With the tone of voice as if to really ask, "really? wow! How could you love ME?" (NOT the YOU DO? as if he was appalled! LOL) But he didn't say it back. I let if go. I didn't say it again, and I didn't pressure him.

We've both been dropping hints about things like combining houses, mortgages and bills, but we've never actually had THE TALK....mostly because I've chickened out several times when the time was perfect for the discussion! :eek:

SOOOOOOOOO.....last night, he and I and all our kids went out for dinner and came back to my house. He gave me my VDay gift, nothing fancy, some PB cups (my fave) and a heart box of the proverbial chocolates and a card. I didn't open the card till after they left because we were having friends over to play cards. I opened it and it was signed I LOVE YOU!

Hugh? When did THAT happen? :)

Think he's trying to tell me something?

Gayle

p.s. I can guarantee you that my T-12 gals will tell me HAVE THE TALK ALREADY! BWAK BWAK!!!!! :D
 
OMG OMG OMG

Gayle,
It's time for "THE TALK". Maybe he is afraid to bring it up, maybe he is unsure what you really want, maybe he doesn't know HOW to ask you how you feel about the "potential" combining!!! Men can be very sensitive and afraid to get hurt. It doesn't have to be an all or nothing talk, just a let's talk about what we both want for the future talk. Good Luck!!!!

HE LOVES YOU!!!!
ellie
 
And, you told the whole world before you told the T-12 gals! Shame on you! :p What a wonderful Valentine gift! That says it all! Woo-hoo! (I've met this guy and he is def a keeper, not to mention he got quite the "catch" too!)
 
Awww Gayle. Who couldn't love you!!

It warmed my heart reading this and I'm cheering for you:D

Don't forget....HE LOVES YOU!!
 
Well congrats to you young lady !

I bet he knows how strong and independent you are ! That is kinda how DH and I were. We had talks but eventually it just didn't make sense to stay in two households for us.

I say get off those strong glutes of yours and speak up ! :p
 
Oh Gayle, yoohoo!!

Oh sweetie Gayle!

I am SO thrilled to hear that your fella passed the Valentine's Day test in every way! You bet he loves you, honey -- and why the heck not??? You're wonderful and he's one lucky dude to have you in his life and in his children's lives. He's head over heels, and he's finally comfortable letting you know that he's down for the count. ;)

So GF, your hunky man has (at looooong last) opened The Talk door for you. Now fire up that lovely heinie of yours, stand up tall and walk thru that door. HAVE THE TALK ALREADY!!!!! :D:D:D:D

(((((HUGS)))))!!!!
 
Gayle,

I am so happy for you. You are a fantastic person. Any man involved with you would love you. You are such a great mom, for they have always came first for you.

I remember meeting you on the roadtrip 2007. You were so inspirational and always smiling. I remember that was about when you started dating this guy.

You know some guys have a hard time saying the "L" word. Apparently, this is true for oyur guy, too. He wrote it in words, well how romantic is that?

Congratulations!

Cheryl
 
DebbieH said:
And, you told the whole world before you told the T-12 gals! Shame on you! :p
Click to expand...

Yeah, well, I was on my way out the door to church (where I THANKED GOD for that VDay card, lol) and just figured I'd kill 2 birds with 1 stone! LOL

Thank you, ladies, for allowing me to gush! And yes, the TALK is on its way (and of course, I'll kiss and tell after! HA!)!

Gayle
 
Woooooo HOOOOOO!!!!!! We all knew he did - and thank heavens he finally opened up and SAID IT, even if it was just on a card. He's just a little shy; that's all.

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(and ditto on the scoldings from Lorrie and Kas :)

Cheryl
 
Gayle, just my two cents worth here. I definitely agree that he loves you, but why do you have to initiate the talk? He wrote it on a card. Good first step. But you've done everything to make him feel confident that he won't be rejected if he speaks up, and you already spoke up. I think it's time for him to initiate a talk. I know it will be hard for him, but he's got to express his feelings sometime. Why shouldn't he start now? :)
 
Nancy has voiced my thoughts here too.

I am so happy for you that you've found such a wonderful relationship, but I don't understand why he won't "talk". That in itself is a bit of red flag considering he's a grown man. JMHO!

I hope things work out for you two! :D
 
Oh, Gayle, such a sweet story! I'd definitely say it's time for The Talk and wouldn't worry too much that he hasn't initiated it yet since you say you've chickened out at times, too. Sounds like he just took a big step towards moving in that direction. Congrats and keep us posted!!
 
I wouldn't worry about who talks first, especially when you are dealing with men, a foreign species who like to put off the important stuff such as emotions to the last possible moment. It doesn't occur to them to initiate this stuff until so much time has passed that they really have to discuss it out loud or move on.

Men only seem to react if they are painted into a corner, otherwise it is us of the female species, who are more in tune with our emotions and can actually think about them and do daily tasks all at the same time, to bring up the important stuff about life.

Men will argue that they too think about all this, but they fail to realize that their thought processes fly right out the window at the sight of a new power tool at Lowes...:rolleyes:
 
HA! Conni, in MY man's case, all thought processes go out the window with a new HDTV or pinball machine! lol

Thanks, everybody, for your input!

Gayle
 
Been there! :)

Gayle, I've been waiting ALL DAY to reply to your post!

I waited 23 months to hear those 3 words from my lovely man. I was beginning to think he'd NEVER say it. I had told him I loved him, and he replied that he loved me too but it just wasn't the same. I really wanted, and needed for HIM to say it first. It sounds childish to write it out like that but there's more to it than that. It's a declaration, as well as a statement of intent, especially for those of us who've been around the block a time or two.....

It was Valentine's Day, we had spent the previous night together and exchanged our low-key cards and chocolate. He teased me a little about wishing me Happy Valentine's Day on the actual day instead of the day before as we were walking out to our cars and then he said "love you" to me. I was so surprised and happy!

And now.... 4 more years later.....we're engaged. So, this is a lot of talk just to say, I know what you're going through. My guy is NOT well practiced in talking about feelings things. And I'm shy about expressing my needs. So, we try, and we practice, and we get it wrong, and we figure it out, and I get braver, and he gets more open.......... it takes time, and it takes patience. But it's well, well worth it.

Congratulations to you!!!!! Enjoy each other. :D
 
Suzanne......THANK YOU for taking the time to give me your input!!! I grew up and there wasn't a whole lot of hugging or talking about feelings, and now my family is the type that doesn't ask for help, doesn't air their dirty laundry, doesn't SAY how they're feeling unless it's a negative feeling. But I myself am NOT like that because I wanted to change that for my kids....I want them to know they can and should say how they feel, good OR bad.

So when I started dating my SO, it was strange for me to be dating somebody who isn't as open as I am. But the thing is, he WILL talk about feelings and stuff if I start the conversation and if I continue the conversation. He'll answer my questions, he'll state what he feels WHEN I ASK. And that's okay with me, so I wan't surprised when I said I LOVE YOU and didn't get it back. And although it was SUPER hard for me to back off, that's exactly what I did out of respect for his personality. Now, it seems I've given him enough space because of what he wrote in my card. And I admit that as "childish" as it may seem to some folks, his writing that was a HUGE step for him!

And he KNOWS me well enough to know that by writing those words, he's inviting the conversation to come.....and it will!

Thanks for your wonderful story.....and congratulations to you!

Gayle
 
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