Tell her to go jump in the lake. As she is treating you as if you were still a child. Also at times the child has to change the dynamics of a relationship with the parent. Hubby is bed mate so he comes first. If Mother is petty well she still has some growing up to do. Jealous emotions may be lurking under the surface.
I need opinions, very torn right now...
- Thread starter Clarissa
- Start date
Clarissa
Cathlete
Well, I talked to my sister last night and she was truly convinced by mother dearest that I am being very selfish and inconsiderate. So, my DH and I just began to look at names again. She said she feels like I am not taking her foster child, Lucas, seriously and it hurts her feelings. So, I said okay but cringed inside. My DH actually was the one who said screw them then, lets just look at other names and THIS time we won't tell them! So, he isn't mad at me, he just thinks my family is nuts. And again, we will vote today for whom we want! Great advice, ladies, all of you... It will kill my mother to not know the name, she will play the martyr, but oh well.
Yes, whoever said there is jealousy involved is correct. For ONE example, she has told me since I was a child that I stole her beautiful hair. after she had me, I took her locks from her supposedly. Whatevs. Also, college is a waste, exercise will kill you, yadda yadda yadda...
Okay, Thanks a million for all of your comments! Clarissa
Yes, whoever said there is jealousy involved is correct. For ONE example, she has told me since I was a child that I stole her beautiful hair. after she had me, I took her locks from her supposedly. Whatevs. Also, college is a waste, exercise will kill you, yadda yadda yadda...
Okay, Thanks a million for all of your comments! Clarissa
LaughingWater
Cathlete
I'm so sorry you have this kind of friction with your mom and sister.
dani21496
Cathlete
OMG, how rude of her. I would totally keep that name if you love it!!!
It's a great name! Do NOT listen to them. Okay, please? GO for it and don't even talk about it with them anymore. There's nothing they can do, it's not their decision!
Btw...my baby's name is Luke Lawrence!
It's a great name! Do NOT listen to them. Okay, please? GO for it and don't even talk about it with them anymore. There's nothing they can do, it's not their decision!
Btw...my baby's name is Luke Lawrence!
It is amazing what parents will say to children. My mother too told me some things that really she had no right to say at all especially to a child. Things I would never dream of saying to my two sons. My son's name is Luke Phillip and when I told my MIL she said she hated the name and I should call him Michael. There are maybe 6 Michael's in the family already. But she came around in the end and that was that. Could you maybe switch the names around and call him Daniel Luke?
trixie108
Cathlete
First, Congratulations on your future addition!! Don't let ANYONE take your happiness away from you during this special time!!
Second, my BFF had a daughter and named her Kiera (it's an old Irish name). Well about a year later her sister got pregnant and named her daughter Kylie. BFF was mad because she thought it was too much like her daughter's name, yada yada. But once the baby arrived happy and healthy, she could have cared less about the name, she was just happy for her sister and that her daughter now had a cousin.
I know you decided to look at other names, but you can always say, screw em! and stick with Luke. Best of luck!!
Second, my BFF had a daughter and named her Kiera (it's an old Irish name). Well about a year later her sister got pregnant and named her daughter Kylie. BFF was mad because she thought it was too much like her daughter's name, yada yada. But once the baby arrived happy and healthy, she could have cared less about the name, she was just happy for her sister and that her daughter now had a cousin.
I know you decided to look at other names, but you can always say, screw em! and stick with Luke. Best of luck!!
Shirluvs2bfit
Cathlete
Clarissa,
Congratulations, a new baby brings so much joy! How are you feeling? How is training going during your pregnancy? In regards to your Mom and sister, I'm sorry. I hope that you come to an agreement. Don't let anyone steal your joy. Take care and (((HUGS))).
Congratulations, a new baby brings so much joy! How are you feeling? How is training going during your pregnancy? In regards to your Mom and sister, I'm sorry. I hope that you come to an agreement. Don't let anyone steal your joy. Take care and (((HUGS))).
Clarissa
Cathlete
OMG! Luke Phillip was my choice! I love the name Philip. But my husband thinks it is hideous. No big deal. He won't even settle for a middle of Phillip. But how cool that you named him that, I mean seriously. So COOL! Clarissa
Clarissa
Cathlete
I am doing fine in training and personally and working out almost the same as before, for now anyway. Just, i look fat compared to my clients LOL!! No, I am keeping pretty small. Funny, but my body tends to gain in the thigh and butt area, so I look pretty tight and small in the abs and baby area yet, but my behind is huge and my jeans are tight
UGH!
baylian
Cathlete
Phyllis - my son's middle name is Phillip (with to L's also) as my maiden name was Phillips.
Good Luck Clarissa - and seriously - don't tell them until the paperwork is signed.
chachi
Cathlete
Btw...my baby's name is Luke Lawrence!
Dani..Luke is gorgeous! I peeked at your baby blog.
Clarissa..Congratulations on your baby boy
It's really sad that your mom and sister are acting this way. Like many have said, do not let them take away from your happiness and excitment. I know that's easier said than done but do your best to not let them get to you. I hope that in the end you are truly happy in your heart with whatever name you and DH choose and DO NOT share your choices with them b/c you know that it will only lead to more heartbreak for you.
dani21496
Cathlete
Dani..Luke is gorgeous! I peeked at your baby blog.
Aw, thank you Chastity and thanks for peeking at my baby blog.
ldy_solana
Cathlete
Aw, thank you Chastity and thanks for peeking at my baby blog.
i was going to comment on a photo but i see its your avatar. i love that face LOL. really great shots of you all, really like the barn shots. very down to earth shots.
kassia
Tamrahan
Cathlete
I agree with Reese when she said your mom sounds Toxic.
My father is the most negative person ever. My dad was verbally abusive to all of us, always comparing us to others. I grew up listening to things like "Why can't you be more like John Doe's (his friend) daughter or "you're just a quitter" (because I quit clarinet and then violin). Then when I was a teenager he moved out (guess it's ok for him to quit a 25 year marriage)became physically abusive to my mother. Doing things like taking her hand and banging it forcefully on the steering wheel of the car leaving it all crooked and mangled. He drove her to a secluded spot, told her that a man killed his wife here the year before (she woke up in the hospital with a head injury and amnesia). Then he broke my mothers neck. She had to be in a halo vest for a year.
Ok your mom isn't this bad (I hope) but she sounds verbally abusive and toxic.
With all the Turbulence of my dysfuntional family I dropped out of school and left home when I was 15. This shaped my entire life, negatively.
I married young to the wrong sort of person and just felt trapped. I felt like a failure. I needed to get out of my marriage but i didn't know how I could make ends meet. My then husband was an addict. Alcohol, gambling, marijuana, cocaine, crack and finally methamphetamine was the final straw. After 17 years of marriage I tried to commit suicide which actually was a turning point in my life. I got therapy, got a divorce, got a better job and got remarried to a fine decent man.
The point of all this is my therapist told me some of the people in my life were toxic and I needed deal with it. She said it was ok for me to remove the toxic people from my life. My dad, my 1st husband had to go completely. And I've limited contact with my 2 sisters too.
I'm not saying that you should cut ALL ties with your mother but maybe you should consider limiting contact to negative people.
I never willingly see my dad except at funerals or things like that. I don't accept his invitations to take me and my DH out to dinner. I limit contact with my sisters. And I feel so much better! Of course last year when my mother had a heart attack I had to go over to her house and get her some things. My dad lives right across the street so when he saw me he had to be bop his butt right on over, we had words so now once again "I am written out of the will" LOL
Love the names Luke and Daniel.
Anyway name your baby whatever you want. If you feel like you can't have "Luke Daniel" how about reversing the order and naming him "Daniel Luke"?
I find it astounding that you gave a list of 20 names or so to your mother and she didn't like a single one.
Hugs to you dear.
My father is the most negative person ever. My dad was verbally abusive to all of us, always comparing us to others. I grew up listening to things like "Why can't you be more like John Doe's (his friend) daughter or "you're just a quitter" (because I quit clarinet and then violin). Then when I was a teenager he moved out (guess it's ok for him to quit a 25 year marriage)became physically abusive to my mother. Doing things like taking her hand and banging it forcefully on the steering wheel of the car leaving it all crooked and mangled. He drove her to a secluded spot, told her that a man killed his wife here the year before (she woke up in the hospital with a head injury and amnesia). Then he broke my mothers neck. She had to be in a halo vest for a year.
Ok your mom isn't this bad (I hope) but she sounds verbally abusive and toxic.
With all the Turbulence of my dysfuntional family I dropped out of school and left home when I was 15. This shaped my entire life, negatively.
I married young to the wrong sort of person and just felt trapped. I felt like a failure. I needed to get out of my marriage but i didn't know how I could make ends meet. My then husband was an addict. Alcohol, gambling, marijuana, cocaine, crack and finally methamphetamine was the final straw. After 17 years of marriage I tried to commit suicide which actually was a turning point in my life. I got therapy, got a divorce, got a better job and got remarried to a fine decent man.
The point of all this is my therapist told me some of the people in my life were toxic and I needed deal with it. She said it was ok for me to remove the toxic people from my life. My dad, my 1st husband had to go completely. And I've limited contact with my 2 sisters too.
I'm not saying that you should cut ALL ties with your mother but maybe you should consider limiting contact to negative people.
I never willingly see my dad except at funerals or things like that. I don't accept his invitations to take me and my DH out to dinner. I limit contact with my sisters. And I feel so much better! Of course last year when my mother had a heart attack I had to go over to her house and get her some things. My dad lives right across the street so when he saw me he had to be bop his butt right on over, we had words so now once again "I am written out of the will" LOL
Love the names Luke and Daniel.
Anyway name your baby whatever you want. If you feel like you can't have "Luke Daniel" how about reversing the order and naming him "Daniel Luke"?
I find it astounding that you gave a list of 20 names or so to your mother and she didn't like a single one.
Hugs to you dear.
farmgirl
Cathlete
congrats
on the upcoming little bundle of baby boy AND the wonderful name! Do what you and your dear hubby want...he's your little man to love, cuddle and name!!! Your mother will hopefully come around and if not, her loss. One of my friends has named her sons August and Hugo...at first, I wasn't too sure but they are such cute little guys and I couldn't imagine them with any other name. Pretty much EVERYBODY was turning up their noses at her name choices...but everyone loves the boys (and their names)!
take care and best wishes!
julie
on the upcoming little bundle of baby boy AND the wonderful name! Do what you and your dear hubby want...he's your little man to love, cuddle and name!!! Your mother will hopefully come around and if not, her loss. One of my friends has named her sons August and Hugo...at first, I wasn't too sure but they are such cute little guys and I couldn't imagine them with any other name. Pretty much EVERYBODY was turning up their noses at her name choices...but everyone loves the boys (and their names)!
take care and best wishes!
julie
SirenSongWoman
Cathlete
Hi. Just got off the phone with my lovely, opinionated, always-unsolicited-advice-giving mother. If you all agree about the following, please tell me. But the way she said it just breaks me.
I am having a baby boy in mid- March 09. We had decided on a name: Luke Daniel, just the other day. We are very excited. It is not a family name, but we liked it. My sister is fostering a boy, whom she hopes to adopt maybe if the system permits, and his name is Lucas and he is 5. My mother just called and ripped me a new one that I am being inconsiderate and of ALL the names in the world, how dumb of me to pick that name. And she said she didnt' even like it. Now understand, she doesn't rule me, but does and always has influenced everything I do. I gave her a list of about 20 names a month ago and she didn't like ONE, not ONE. Not ONE! She responded to my email saying: "gay", "really gay", "prickish", "this ones a dud", "you're kidding, right?" and etc.
Please help me, I am in tears. I already had asked my sister if it was okay and she laughed and said don't be silly, since the names are not the same, actually. Different roots and everything, mine being biblical... Thanks.
Agree 100% with OneBuffMom.
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