Fear of flying?

pixiesis

pixiesis

Cathlete
Anyone else dreading their next flight? It gets worse and worse for me as I hear about these plane crashes. I didn't used to be afraid. When I was a junior in HS my dad crashed his little 4-seater plane on take-off (the engine died). It was just my mom and him, and miraculously they walked away (or he did, carrying her because she had cut her head and passed out). They were both really beat up, but they survived. If my sister and I had gone with them as we had planned, we don't think we would have survived. Luckily, and for some strange reason that I still wonder about, we just couldn't get our butts in gear and my parents left without us. We went and saw the crash site afterwards to take pictures, and it was a sight I will never forget. The plane was so crushed up, I don't know how anyone came out of it.

My dad had worked in crash recovery in Viet-Nam, and after that in Europe. For many years he had seen a lot of plane crashes/emergency landings that ended well and that ended badly. He knew what to do in the 20-30 or so seconds he had to crash the plane. They had only reached a few hundred feet when it died, so there was almost no time to react. No one on the ground was hurt even though it was a very populated area. He saw a small patch of woods and put the nose down and crashed. I think his cool head and unique experience saved them, just like the plane that landed on the Hudson. But how many pilots get to have actual experience with crashes and other emergencies?

It's just that when I tell people I'm terrified of flying, they usually reassure me that it's so safe. I know that it is statistically, but that doesn't help. I frequently have nightmares about it, and all the detailed reports of that terrible crash in Buffalo are really getting to me. I think I'm always going to be traumatized, but it's getting harder to deal with it. My maternal grandfather also survived several plane crashes in WWII (he was a navigator on a bomber). I've heard his stories in great detail. I feel like I've basically lived through the crashes I hear about it such great detail, if that makes sense. And I've heard about many more from my dad who loves to tell stories about anything related to planes.

To add to this, I love to travel, especially to Europe. And I have to do it once a year for work and whenever I want to see my family. Anyone else out there with a big time fear of flying? How do you get through it? I'm sorry to ramble. I can't really explain my fear without going into the history there.

Amy
 
I know where you are coming from

I too have a fear of flying. I am flying on March 5th with my husband and two little boys. The day after I booked my flight, that plane landed in the Hudson river. I couldn't even watch it and then I was relieved to hear everyone made it out okay. Then another commuter plane crashed in upstate New York and the one in London I think that had a problem, just makes my fears worse. I wish I could get to my destination by boat! I usually cry during take off, but I know I have to be strong otehrwise my 3-year-old will think there is something really wrong, and don't want to scare him.

My aunt tells me (we are visiting her), if things go wrong with planes before you fly, then that means the odds are in your favor that all will be okay b/c something already happened. Is it sick to take solace in that theory?

I am going to be strong and be positive on this flight for my kids, sometimes they make us stronger.
 
Hi Amy,

I have a huge fear of flying! I haven't been on a plane since 1995. When TWA Flight 800 blew up over Long Island, that was it for me. That was the same flight I had travelled on when I went to France in 1991 and it freaked me out. And since having children, my fear has gotten worse. It has really put a damper on vacationing, to be sure. We have friends who've lived in Switzerland, Brazil, California and family in Germany and Serbia, Macedonia and we've never gone to see them because of me. My dear StepFIL was a pilot and tried to help me resolve my issues, but it never worked.

I wish I could afford those fear of flying lessons, but they're way too costly. And I'm afraid I'm instilling the fear in my 3 dds, too, which is not what I want to do at all. Sigh. I'm sorry I wasn't any help, but I wanted to let you know that I sympathize. And I know flying is much safer than driving, you have a greater chance of dying in your bathroom, blah, blah. Logically I know my fear is irrational, but I can't help it-just like my hypochondria, I guess. That's a whole different story!
 
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Me, Me, Me!!!!!

I haven't been on a plane since 1997 and have absolutley no desire.
I am scared to death. I know all the statistics but that doesn't seem to help. It is much worse since having my kids.

If I had to get them somewhere for medical treatment or something, I could do it. But otherwise it would require IV Valium for me!!!!

ellie
 
Well I knew I wasn't alone. I wish that I didn't have to fly ever again, but I do. I have to go to a conference in San Jose for work in July. I checked and it's a 36 hr drive! I'm sure that if there's a train there it would take days. I so wish we had high-speed trains like they do in Europe and Japan. I know I'll continue flying--I have flown so much in my life, starting at 6 months old when we moved to Germany. But my fear has been made worse with this recent crash in Buffalo. I'm almost positive that they'll find this one to be pilot error. I know she did her best, but I just don't think she, or most commercial pilots, knew how to deal with a flat spin. I just wish commercial pilots had all the experience that military pilots get. And I'm always praying for an older seasoned pilot too (like Sully).

Anyway, thanks for the responses. If anyone has any tips for flying please share. I'm thinking about asking my doctor for a few Xanax next time. I've never taken it, but I know I'm gonna be terrified.

Amy
 
I'm glad to know I am not the only one. I am absolutely terrified of flying and I have to do it several times every year. This year, I will be flying to CO by myself and I'm already dreading it. I've been known to tear up to. I hate anyone seeing me upset though, so I do a pretty good job of hiding my abject terror from all but my DH. I go into full panic mode on both take-offs and landings though and usually grip my arm rests pretty hard. Every little bump or odd sounds makes me imagine the worst. It really does get worse every time I fly. My FIL is a pilot and my DH flew solo when he was 16. They try to reassure me all the time, but it doesn't help. :(
 
I think it's interesting how, as we get older, our fears seem to become more entrenched, rather than less. At least, that's the way it is for me for the most part. I have a terrible sense of direction, and yet when I was young, I used to zip all over the NYC area in an old car, getting lost, and finding my way again somehow, before cell phones were invented. Nowadays, I'm afraid of driving, period. Even with a cell phone and a GPS system! I will do almost anything to avoid getting behind the wheel of a car. :eek: Airplanes, trains, buses are all fine with me. But cars make me extremely uncomfortable.

Tips for flying? Take drugs! Tranquilizers, sleeping meds, whatever it takes to get you through the flight.
 
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I am afraid of flying ..well not flying .. just turbulence and crashing!!! the turbulence freaks me out .. and our last trip to Vegas ..the winds were horrible .. we dropped pretty bad and on the landing our wings were tipping r and l really bad .. I had a zanax and liquor in me and it did help at all .. I was scared to death .. I am sure they had to replace the arm rest from me sqeezing it to death!! :confused:

think next trip the "liquid IV Valium drip" sounds like what I need to try!!!
 
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I agree, my fears came on when I got older, when you are young, you think you are immortal. I will not get on a small plane. But I've been much better with regular planes lately. I really didn't freak out until 9/11. Zanax and a dramamine is the key to a calm flight for me. But, I took my first zanax free flight for the first time in a long time to Tampa in December, and I was just fine.
 
I totally understand how it feels. I'm terrified, and the more I fly, the worse my fear becomes. I guess I have this sense of impending doom, and feel that if I haven't crashed yet, it's soon to come! It's terrible. I don't just tear up, I cry like a baby when I fly, even on tons of drugs. I'm ok on take-off and landing (even though those are probably the most dangerous points) but being in the air for awhile scares me to death. On my last flight, there was a psychiatrist who happened to sit next to me and ended up spending the WHOLE flight trying to calm me down. Talk about embarrassing. :eek: And it didn't work.

Statistics don't mean a thing. My fear is more about my chance of surviving if we crashed. It's pretty much nill. And it's incomprehensible how even the tiniest malfunction can cause so much devastation. Even though I am much more likely to be in an automobile accident, I'm also much more likely to survive it if I do. I HATE FLYING!!!!
 
Amy,

I have NEVER been on an airplane - the thought scares the poo out of me!! I suppose there will come a day when I may have to. I will pray that myt husband is with me along with some valium!!! ;)
 
Just thought I'd let you all know that there's a terrific website for those who fear flying that has a great message forum. It's www.takingflight.us/forums. The people on there are very supportive and helped me get over my fear of flying.
 
YES!

I am flying to Boston with my sister this weekend. I have never given flying a second thought. However, there has been too much going on lately with these planes. Hopefully everything will be ok.
 
I used to be terrified of flying, now I'm just a tiny bit cautious. I have to fly 6-8 times a year for work (at least 1-2 of those trips to Buffalo of all places!) and I love to travel. The more I fly and get used to the sights, sounds, smells, etc. the better off I am. I can even nap on planes now!

I used to visit the forums at fearofflying.com and one of the things that really resonated with me was the realization that I was creating a mental video and fearful internal dialogue. I had the impending crash playing out in my head and with each play of the video and fearful thoughts my anxiety would escalate - nearly to the point of full on panic. Each time I flew I felt I had cheated death and the next flight would be "the one". Logically it had to be because I had survived the previous leg. A previous poster mentioned taking solace in a crash occurring soon before her flight, like the chances of her plane crashing had diminished…I totally understand that wacky thought process!

Anyway I wanted to share that I have been there and overcome the fear without costly sessions with a professional. For me it was all about purging the images and fearful thoughts from my brain and replacing them with positive self-talk. After several flights I was able to stop my mantra (which was “It’s in Gods hands, I’m okay with His will”) and now I just fly. Whatever happens, well, happens. I’m so glad I don’t work myself up anymore. It was absolutely miserable and took way too much energy.

I wish you all the best of luck with overcoming your fears.
 
pixiesis said:
Anyone else dreading their next flight? It gets worse and worse for me as I hear about these plane crashes. I didn't used to be afraid. When I was a junior in HS my dad crashed his little 4-seater plane on take-off (the engine died). It was just my mom and him, and miraculously they walked away (or he did, carrying her because she had cut her head and passed out). They were both really beat up, but they survived. If my sister and I had gone with them as we had planned, we don't think we would have survived. Luckily, and for some strange reason that I still wonder about, we just couldn't get our butts in gear and my parents left without us. We went and saw the crash site afterwards to take pictures, and it was a sight I will never forget. The plane was so crushed up, I don't know how anyone came out of it.

My dad had worked in crash recovery in Viet-Nam, and after that in Europe. For many years he had seen a lot of plane crashes/emergency landings that ended well and that ended badly. He knew what to do in the 20-30 or so seconds he had to crash the plane. They had only reached a few hundred feet when it died, so there was almost no time to react. No one on the ground was hurt even though it was a very populated area. He saw a small patch of woods and put the nose down and crashed. I think his cool head and unique experience saved them, just like the plane that landed on the Hudson. But how many pilots get to have actual experience with crashes and other emergencies?

It's just that when I tell people I'm terrified of flying, they usually reassure me that it's so safe. I know that it is statistically, but that doesn't help. I frequently have nightmares about it, and all the detailed reports of that terrible crash in Buffalo are really getting to me. I think I'm always going to be traumatized, but it's getting harder to deal with it. My maternal grandfather also survived several plane crashes in WWII (he was a navigator on a bomber). I've heard his stories in great detail. I feel like I've basically lived through the crashes I hear about it such great detail, if that makes sense. And I've heard about many more from my dad who loves to tell stories about anything related to planes.

To add to this, I love to travel, especially to Europe. And I have to do it once a year for work and whenever I want to see my family. Anyone else out there with a big time fear of flying? How do you get through it? I'm sorry to ramble. I can't really explain my fear without going into the history there.

Amy
Click to expand...

Hi Amy,

I have never been scared to fly. I take the commuter planes all the time and did the Cessna Grand Canyon to the Glass Bridge Trip.

But since this latest crash, I am a little bit more frightened of the prop jets.

I have had those poor victims and their families on my mind all week.
 
But I hate auto travel and have always had a morbid fear of a car accident.

I am still more scared of auto travel than air travel.
 
I am more afraid of driving than of flying.
When I get on the plane I figure I have made a decision to trust the pilot and flight crew by getting on the plane. Because everything is completely out of my control, I simply accept that either we will get where we are going or crash, and my reactions make no difference to the outcome. Because the outcome will be the same whether I am relaxed or stressed, I choose to be relaxed, but naturally I have any easy time not stressing over things that are out of my control.
That is probably weird, but I never tried to claim normalcy.
Good luck finding ways to overcome your fears, especially if you cannot avoid flying.
 
Oh, it is such a relief to see I'm not the only one!!!!!!!! I love to travel, but planes give me such horrible anxiety. I've lost family in two separate plane crashes (one commercial, one private plane, both a l-o-n-g time ago) and then after 9/11 my phobia just sky rocketed. I agree, after I had kids it got so much worse!

Thanks so much to those who shared those forum links-- I will definitely be looking into it.

(((HUGS))) to everyone dealing with this fear!!!
 
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