T
trevor
Guest
Hey there Jo!!! You snow bunny!! Cosmic snowbunny!!!! LOL!!
T.
T.
Any Other Mature Women Enjoying Sex a Bit More than Usual?
- Thread starter motherofsix
- Start date
RE: Any Other Mature Women Enjoying Sex a Bit More than...
To go off the original topic a little (I've enjoyed reading all the posts by the way), my sex drive has really increased in the last year or so (I'm 31, and don't know why this has happenned). However, I've never been relaxed about sex because no matter how much I make the best of my body by working out etc, I've always been quite flat chested, and feel unattractive because of it. I would love to have an amazing sex life, without having to worry about the light being on and feeling self conscious even in the dark. I certainly have the drive there, but the lack of body confidence always ruins it.
Anyone in a similar situation? Any advise? I really feel like I'm missing out!!
Sharon
x
To go off the original topic a little (I've enjoyed reading all the posts by the way), my sex drive has really increased in the last year or so (I'm 31, and don't know why this has happenned). However, I've never been relaxed about sex because no matter how much I make the best of my body by working out etc, I've always been quite flat chested, and feel unattractive because of it. I would love to have an amazing sex life, without having to worry about the light being on and feeling self conscious even in the dark. I certainly have the drive there, but the lack of body confidence always ruins it.
Anyone in a similar situation? Any advise? I really feel like I'm missing out!!
Sharon
x
Mckmain
Cathlete
RE: Any Other Mature Women Enjoying Sex a Bit More than...
I can relate completely. I am 44, been flat chested all my life. There are times it does bother me alot. But I will say my husband has never made me feel inadequate at all. Sex has always been good for us and as previouly posted here....a renewed interest when I turned 40.....I know if I was single and dating I would probably go thru the inadequacy all over again. I don't know if there is someone in your life now, but there are men out there that will care for you no matter what your breast size. For me when I got this renewed interst I just said screw the worries and let myself go sexually, the reation from my husband was absolutely wonderful. Therefore I have not felt inadequate at all since......Carole
I can relate completely. I am 44, been flat chested all my life. There are times it does bother me alot. But I will say my husband has never made me feel inadequate at all. Sex has always been good for us and as previouly posted here....a renewed interest when I turned 40..
...I know if I was single and dating I would probably go thru the inadequacy all over again. I don't know if there is someone in your life now, but there are men out there that will care for you no matter what your breast size. For me when I got this renewed interst I just said screw the worries and let myself go sexually, the reation from my husband was absolutely wonderful. Therefore I have not felt inadequate at all since......Carole
Bobbi
Cathlete
RE: Any Other Mature Women Enjoying Sex a Bit More than...
Hi, Sharon, I was 31 when I came into my own as a sexual being and it was because I quit drinking and smoking and turning all my compulsive energy to negative things and started working out and eating well and it did many things. It calmed me down and gave me a new confidence in my body and that immediately translated into a better sex life! As I have always said, my body doesn't conform to classic beauty standards (and they ahve become ridiculous in my mind) but last night when I was putting on my PJ's and my attention fell upon my small bosom, I found myself thinking I love my body! And I mean it too! My muscles won't get big. I was envying Cathe's this morning doing Slow/Heavy. But they are strong and I am too and exercise is a gift. A one week break affected my mood so strongly, I actually fear not doiing it! Learn to love the skin you are in! If that takes standing necked as a jay bird in front of a mirror to familiarize and desensitize yourself to what you perceive as what is wrong with you, do it! Because you have a beautiful body and the only problem is that you are judging yourself by stupid standards! We don't come in a single shape and size and we are all perfect as long as we accept who we are in this moment. I am always striving to improve but I also know my limitations and they are fine by me. I don't have the incredible body Cathe has but I have great legs and a good head on my shoulders. At least I like it. Don't be so hard on yourself and be sho you are because that's what really matters!
XXX
http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/yellows/lookaround.gif Bobbi
Hi, Sharon, I was 31 when I came into my own as a sexual being and it was because I quit drinking and smoking and turning all my compulsive energy to negative things and started working out and eating well and it did many things. It calmed me down and gave me a new confidence in my body and that immediately translated into a better sex life! As I have always said, my body doesn't conform to classic beauty standards (and they ahve become ridiculous in my mind) but last night when I was putting on my PJ's and my attention fell upon my small bosom, I found myself thinking I love my body! And I mean it too! My muscles won't get big. I was envying Cathe's this morning doing Slow/Heavy. But they are strong and I am too and exercise is a gift. A one week break affected my mood so strongly, I actually fear not doiing it! Learn to love the skin you are in! If that takes standing necked as a jay bird in front of a mirror to familiarize and desensitize yourself to what you perceive as what is wrong with you, do it! Because you have a beautiful body and the only problem is that you are judging yourself by stupid standards! We don't come in a single shape and size and we are all perfect as long as we accept who we are in this moment. I am always striving to improve but I also know my limitations and they are fine by me. I don't have the incredible body Cathe has but I have great legs and a good head on my shoulders. At least I like it. Don't be so hard on yourself and be sho you are because that's what really matters!
XXX
http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/yellows/lookaround.gif Bobbi
C
Carol_is_fit
Guest
RE: Any Other Mature Women Enjoying Sex a Bit More than...
Sharon, the size of anything on your body, including your breasts, shouldn't even be an issue with a man. If it is, run. You're beautiful because you are a woman, and a human being, and sex between two people who care for each other is the most intimate expression of human love. Love yourself!! You are worth it, just the way you are!!
Carol
Sharon, the size of anything on your body, including your breasts, shouldn't even be an issue with a man. If it is, run. You're beautiful because you are a woman, and a human being, and sex between two people who care for each other is the most intimate expression of human love. Love yourself!! You are worth it, just the way you are!!
Carol
RE: Any Other Mature Women Enjoying Sex a Bit More than...
Sharon:
under-endowed women rule!!!!!!!!!!! Don't you forget it!
Sharon, go to a local mall, or eatery and perform a reality check. Sit with a coffee for a good while and just observe people. Take a good look at all the women around you. See how different their bodies are? How many do you see in the space of a given hour who look like they stepped from the pages of the Victoria Secret catalog? The truth is, that's a minority of the female population, like about .005%! Even the women out there who love their generous chest size, might hate and loathe their ample thighs or butt and even though you envy them their cleavage, they too might be love-making only in the dark....
Smaller chests are fab. Think about it. You can run down the street and you aren't bouncing all over the place, construction workers are not infuriating you with obscene declarations of desire for your mammaries, and you can be sure that the hot guy talking to you at the party is actually oggling your brain, face, general outline rather than waiting to get his hands on your boobs.
I love my small chest. I don't care if the light is on or off. And anyway, maybe vision is over-rated: lovemaking and desire are largely tactile experiences and desire and arousal have as much to do with the brain as any body part!
Seriously, I lost all my "boobage" (as someone here called them the other day) after maternity, and I couldn't care less. I cannot identify with big boobs at all. I look at pictures of Pamela Anderson and feel nauseated. I would hate to have all that flesh on my body. Yuck. As a teenager, I felt weird amidst my petite and ultra-feminine friends, as a tall, thin, gangly stick! But over time I have come to identify completely with this lean, althetic build of mine and I wouldn't want it any other way. I think in our thirties and forties we grow into our bodies more and stop caring what other people might think. My identity and sense of dress and personal style are all built around the shape and feel of this athletic body, so I can't imagine looking any different.
There are no bras out there to fit the chest and back size combo that I have, but I don't care. I hate women's underwear anyway. Constrictive stuff. But when I was still trying to find bras a couple of years ago, I tried a padded thing on just to experiment, you know, sort of a "I wonder what it would be like to be all pouty like a Victoria's Secret model" kind of thing. I put it on and shrieked with hysteria at the horrendously comic image I made! It looked ridiculous! There's no way I could handle having breasts like that!
My husband is not a boob man, he loves me for my other many qualities and talents, because I am what he calls a "high maintenance woman" who keeps him challenged and on his toes. If he wanted #### and ass, he could find it in a porno mag any time. But somehow, I don't think that's what "real men" really want. Ask Trevor, in spite of his macho bravado! However, any time I put a skirt on, it's like someone took a match and ignited his libido and he's after me, because I think it's the "ass" and long line of the legs that he really goes for.
Moral of the story?
1. A man worth his weight will love you for all your qualities, whether you personally like them or not. He won't give a rat's ass whether you have big boobs, gargantuan boobs or a more diminuitive boobage, because what he loves is the whole of you, just YOU, not some body part isolated on a plate.
2. If he nit-picks and criticises your body, drop him, because he will undermine your self esteem and then the relationship becomes a power trip for him.
3. Let yourself grow into your body, let it determine your style, your dress, how you hold and carry yourself, and your self-confidence will rise. There's nothing sexier than a woman who likes the skin she's in, whatever size it is, or isn't. What's not attractive about that?!?!
Sharon, you are beautiful. FInd a man who thinks so too. Then love him, not some shallow dude who hankers after Vic-Sec models busting out of their bras.
Phew! Long story, but, thanks for bearing with me. Over and Out.
(Note: larger breasted women, please do not take offence, this message is not addressed to you, it's just a mantra-campaign for the more flat-chested among us!)
Clare
Sharon:
under-endowed women rule!!!!!!!!!!! Don't you forget it!
Sharon, go to a local mall, or eatery and perform a reality check. Sit with a coffee for a good while and just observe people. Take a good look at all the women around you. See how different their bodies are? How many do you see in the space of a given hour who look like they stepped from the pages of the Victoria Secret catalog? The truth is, that's a minority of the female population, like about .005%! Even the women out there who love their generous chest size, might hate and loathe their ample thighs or butt and even though you envy them their cleavage, they too might be love-making only in the dark....
Smaller chests are fab. Think about it. You can run down the street and you aren't bouncing all over the place, construction workers are not infuriating you with obscene declarations of desire for your mammaries, and you can be sure that the hot guy talking to you at the party is actually oggling your brain, face, general outline rather than waiting to get his hands on your boobs.
I love my small chest. I don't care if the light is on or off. And anyway, maybe vision is over-rated: lovemaking and desire are largely tactile experiences and desire and arousal have as much to do with the brain as any body part!
Seriously, I lost all my "boobage" (as someone here called them the other day) after maternity, and I couldn't care less. I cannot identify with big boobs at all. I look at pictures of Pamela Anderson and feel nauseated. I would hate to have all that flesh on my body. Yuck. As a teenager, I felt weird amidst my petite and ultra-feminine friends, as a tall, thin, gangly stick! But over time I have come to identify completely with this lean, althetic build of mine and I wouldn't want it any other way. I think in our thirties and forties we grow into our bodies more and stop caring what other people might think. My identity and sense of dress and personal style are all built around the shape and feel of this athletic body, so I can't imagine looking any different.
There are no bras out there to fit the chest and back size combo that I have, but I don't care. I hate women's underwear anyway. Constrictive stuff. But when I was still trying to find bras a couple of years ago, I tried a padded thing on just to experiment, you know, sort of a "I wonder what it would be like to be all pouty like a Victoria's Secret model" kind of thing. I put it on and shrieked with hysteria at the horrendously comic image I made! It looked ridiculous! There's no way I could handle having breasts like that!
My husband is not a boob man, he loves me for my other many qualities and talents, because I am what he calls a "high maintenance woman" who keeps him challenged and on his toes. If he wanted #### and ass, he could find it in a porno mag any time. But somehow, I don't think that's what "real men" really want. Ask Trevor, in spite of his macho bravado! However, any time I put a skirt on, it's like someone took a match and ignited his libido and he's after me, because I think it's the "ass" and long line of the legs that he really goes for.
Moral of the story?
1. A man worth his weight will love you for all your qualities, whether you personally like them or not. He won't give a rat's ass whether you have big boobs, gargantuan boobs or a more diminuitive boobage, because what he loves is the whole of you, just YOU, not some body part isolated on a plate.
2. If he nit-picks and criticises your body, drop him, because he will undermine your self esteem and then the relationship becomes a power trip for him.
3. Let yourself grow into your body, let it determine your style, your dress, how you hold and carry yourself, and your self-confidence will rise. There's nothing sexier than a woman who likes the skin she's in, whatever size it is, or isn't. What's not attractive about that?!?!
Sharon, you are beautiful. FInd a man who thinks so too. Then love him, not some shallow dude who hankers after Vic-Sec models busting out of their bras.
Phew! Long story, but, thanks for bearing with me. Over and Out.
(Note: larger breasted women, please do not take offence, this message is not addressed to you, it's just a mantra-campaign for the more flat-chested among us!)
Clare
RE: Any Other Mature Women Enjoying Sex a Bit More than...
Hey Sharon,
Perky is IN!!! Let it go and have some fun!!! I'm a 32-and-barely-an-A cup. I bloomed at age 11 and stopped at 11 1/2 . Chest size should never be a reason for feeling anything less than gorgeous.
Sex appeal is all in the mind -- YOUR mind. If you feel sexy, you'll act sexy, and your partner will most definitely find you sexy. }(
For me, wearing some sexy underwear (yes they DO make hot bras for chicks our size!) always makes me feel a little sexy and adds a little confidence...even if nobody else sees it. It might be weird, but it's true. }( }(
Go for it!!
BTW did I use the word "sexy" enough in this post?
Hey Sharon,
Perky is IN!!! Let it go and have some fun!!! I'm a 32-and-barely-an-A cup. I bloomed at age 11 and stopped at 11 1/2
. Chest size should never be a reason for feeling anything less than gorgeous.Sex appeal is all in the mind -- YOUR mind. If you feel sexy, you'll act sexy, and your partner will most definitely find you sexy. }(
For me, wearing some sexy underwear (yes they DO make hot bras for chicks our size!) always makes me feel a little sexy and adds a little confidence...even if nobody else sees it. It might be weird, but it's true. }( }(
Go for it!!
BTW did I use the word "sexy" enough in this post?
Bobbi
Cathlete
RE: Any Other Mature Women Enjoying Sex a Bit More than...
Boobage. I've found my new word for describing my nearly A, and did I mention lopsided, bust? Clare, you are brilliant! And, Gayle, I feel sexier than ever, reading your post! Amen, sister-friends!
http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/yellows/lookaround.gif Bobbi
Boobage. I've found my new word for describing my nearly A, and did I mention lopsided, bust? Clare, you are brilliant! And, Gayle, I feel sexier than ever, reading your post! Amen, sister-friends!
http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/yellows/lookaround.gif Bobbi
Connie1
Cathlete
RE: Any Other Mature Women Enjoying Sex a Bit More than...
Bobbi wrote:
"A one week break (from working out) affected my mood so strongly, I actually fear not doing it! Learn to love the skin you are in! If that takes standing necked as a jay bird in front of a mirror to familiarize and desensitize yourself to what you perceive as what is wrong with you, do it! Because you have a beautiful body and the only problem is that you are judging yourself by stupid standards! We don't come in a single shape and size and we are all perfect as long as we accept who we are in this moment. I am always striving to improve but I also know my limitations and they are fine by me. I don't have the incredible body Cathe has but I have great legs and a good head on my shoulders. At least I like it. Don't be so hard on yourself and be who you are because that's what really matters!"
Bobbi, what a great post! I couldn't agree more (now that I've read it!)
-Connie
Bobbi wrote:
"A one week break (from working out) affected my mood so strongly, I actually fear not doing it! Learn to love the skin you are in! If that takes standing necked as a jay bird in front of a mirror to familiarize and desensitize yourself to what you perceive as what is wrong with you, do it! Because you have a beautiful body and the only problem is that you are judging yourself by stupid standards! We don't come in a single shape and size and we are all perfect as long as we accept who we are in this moment. I am always striving to improve but I also know my limitations and they are fine by me. I don't have the incredible body Cathe has but I have great legs and a good head on my shoulders. At least I like it. Don't be so hard on yourself and be who you are because that's what really matters!"
Bobbi, what a great post! I couldn't agree more (now that I've read it!)
-Connie
Bobbi
Cathlete
RE: Any Other Mature Women Enjoying Sex a Bit More than...
Thank you, Connie!
http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/yellows/lookaround.gif Bobbi
Thank you, Connie!
http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/yellows/lookaround.gif Bobbi
nancy324
Cathlete
RE: Any Other Mature Women Enjoying Sex a Bit More than...
Sharon-
I have to laugh! Girl, you sure came to the wrong place to say that you are not happy with your body because your breasts are too small!! LOL!!
I can attest to what Clare said. I'm a D-cup and it does NOT mean that I have a great figure! My waist is proportionately too big for the rest of me and I am always trying to hide my waistline. For your benefit, I just asked my husband if he would find me any less attractive if I were an A-cup and I believe him when he says "no way"! The day we met, the first thing he noticed about me was, according to him, my "magnificent smile" and my "gorgeous legs". Of course, none of that would have meant a thing if he hadn't loved my personality!
To me, big boobs just get in the way of exercising and wearing sexy little things like spaghetti straps. What's it like to wear spaghetti straps?? Oh, and something else, if you think big boobs means having cleavage that you can show off, think again! Natural boobs rarely produce cleavage, and I'm not willing to wear one of those torture devices that make it look like I have some!
If you're insecure, you can always find something to be insecure about. But why be insecure? It doesn't help anything.
Sharon, turn that light on and start enjoying your sex life! That's an order! And watch Will & Grace and just try to picture Debra Messing with boobs! That's another order.
(Sorry for ordering you around. I got carried away...)
:7
Sharon-
I have to laugh! Girl, you sure came to the wrong place to say that you are not happy with your body because your breasts are too small!! LOL!!
I can attest to what Clare said. I'm a D-cup and it does NOT mean that I have a great figure! My waist is proportionately too big for the rest of me and I am always trying to hide my waistline. For your benefit, I just asked my husband if he would find me any less attractive if I were an A-cup and I believe him when he says "no way"! The day we met, the first thing he noticed about me was, according to him, my "magnificent smile" and my "gorgeous legs". Of course, none of that would have meant a thing if he hadn't loved my personality!
To me, big boobs just get in the way of exercising and wearing sexy little things like spaghetti straps. What's it like to wear spaghetti straps?? Oh, and something else, if you think big boobs means having cleavage that you can show off, think again! Natural boobs rarely produce cleavage, and I'm not willing to wear one of those torture devices that make it look like I have some!
If you're insecure, you can always find something to be insecure about. But why be insecure? It doesn't help anything.
Sharon, turn that light on and start enjoying your sex life! That's an order! And watch Will & Grace and just try to picture Debra Messing with boobs! That's another order.
(Sorry for ordering you around. I got carried away...)
:7
Mckmain
Cathlete
RE: Any Other Mature Women Enjoying Sex a Bit More than...
Bobbi, Clare and Gayle...thanks for sharing your small breasted insight.....what you all said is so true....I liked "boobage" too...I hope this helps Sharon. Nice to be able to spill what bothers you and have so many positive responses...Also, nice to have company in (as my husband says) "The Itty Bitty Titty Club"... I do think I even have a t-shirt that say that!...I have enjoyed the different threads this post has taken......Carole
Bobbi, Clare and Gayle...thanks for sharing your small breasted insight..
...what you all said is so true....I liked "boobage" too...I hope this helps Sharon. Nice to be able to spill what bothers you and have so many positive responses...Also, nice to have company in (as my husband says) "The Itty Bitty Titty Club"... I do think I even have a t-shirt that say that!...I have enjoyed the different threads this post has taken......Caroleskatie0569
Cathlete
RE: Any Other Mature Women Enjoying Sex a Bit More than...
In Australia we call it the "Itty bitty Titty Committee"
of which I am not a member, at least not now but I'd like to be!
I read an Aussie fitness guru who said that if you eat right and lose fat the right way (fat instead of muscle) that you can preserve your breast fat.. I have never had luck with that. As soon as the weight goes by boobs go south and practically shrivel!
Well, I guess that's what I get for all that breastfeeding.
Has any one else managed to lose the weight but keep the boobs?
Kelly
In Australia we call it the "Itty bitty Titty Committee"
of which I am not a member, at least not now but I'd like to be!
I read an Aussie fitness guru who said that if you eat right and lose fat the right way (fat instead of muscle) that you can preserve your breast fat.. I have never had luck with that. As soon as the weight goes by boobs go south and practically shrivel!
Well, I guess that's what I get for all that breastfeeding.
Has any one else managed to lose the weight but keep the boobs?
Kelly
RE: Any Other Mature Women Enjoying Sex a Bit More than...
This is so cool. Glad to see other women that feel as I do. I've enjoyed sex all my life so it isn't a problem for me, however, my much younger DH (I'm 44 he is 39) doesn't seem to have an interest in it and it drives me crazy. Low sex drive doesn't just apply to women... I wish someone told me that a long time ago.
Keep it up and enjoy!
This is so cool. Glad to see other women that feel as I do. I've enjoyed sex all my life so it isn't a problem for me, however, my much younger DH (I'm 44 he is 39) doesn't seem to have an interest in it and it drives me crazy. Low sex drive doesn't just apply to women... I wish someone told me that a long time ago.
Keep it up and enjoy!
Bobbi
Cathlete
RE: Any Other Mature Women Enjoying Sex a Bit More than...
My husband describes that shrivellage of the boobage as having "wallets with nipples" and yet I let him live!
Bobbi http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/talker.gif
My husband describes that shrivellage of the boobage as having "wallets with nipples" and yet I let him live!
Bobbi http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/talker.gif
Mckmain
Cathlete
RE: Any Other Mature Women Enjoying Sex a Bit More than...
We let them live because they are good guys....and mine loves to tease as I do......I think when we were dating he said to me "When God asked you about ####, you thought he said zits , so you asked for 2 little ones"...and I still love him......then my Dad "What God has forgotten, we have fixed with cotton"...and he was a wonderful man. The "Wallets with nipples" was a new one for me...but we can go on......Carole
We let them live because they are good guys....and mine loves to tease as I do...
...I think when we were dating he said to me "When God asked you about ####, you thought he said zits , so you asked for 2 little ones"...and I still love him......then my Dad "What God has forgotten, we have fixed with cotton"...and he was a wonderful man. The "Wallets with nipples" was a new one for me...but we can go on......Carole
Bobbi
Cathlete
RE: Any Other Mature Women Enjoying Sex a Bit More than...
The dear man referenced that for me! It's from Victor?Victoria but she had hers flattened at the time!
I remember those! "When they were passing out noses, she thought they said roses and asked for a big red one". "Her teeth are like stars, they come out at night". "Her eyes were like pools, cess pools". I'm cracking myself up!
Bobbi "Chick's rule!" http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif
The dear man referenced that for me! It's from Victor?Victoria but she had hers flattened at the time!
I remember those! "When they were passing out noses, she thought they said roses and asked for a big red one". "Her teeth are like stars, they come out at night". "Her eyes were like pools, cess pools". I'm cracking myself up!
Bobbi "Chick's rule!" http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif
Bobbi
Cathlete
RE: Any Other Mature Women Enjoying Sex a Bit More than...
There were more too! Remember, I had all those evil sister, who, I think it is appropriate to tell you, called me, Boobless! LOL!
Bobbi "Chick's rule!" http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif
There were more too! Remember, I had all those evil sister, who, I think it is appropriate to tell you, called me, Boobless! LOL!
Bobbi "Chick's rule!" http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif
Mckmain
Cathlete
RE: Any Other Mature Women Enjoying Sex a Bit More than...
Boobless!!! Not nice....I have 3 older sisters and the family joke is 3 of us were born normally....headfirst so it pushed the weight to our butts....and the one sister....breach....pushed the weight to her boobs...true story!....she has no ass at all though......Carole
Boobless!!! Not nice....I have 3 older sisters and the family joke is 3 of us were born normally....headfirst so it pushed the weight to our butts....and the one sister....breach....pushed the weight to her boobs...true story!....she has no ass at all though...
...Carole