Would this bug you???

DeborahG

DeborahG

Cathlete
I need your opinions, if you have a minute.

So my 6-year-old daughter was invited to a neighbor's house on Monday afternoon to play with her friend from school. Just before she left to go over, the mom called and said she decided to take the girls to a movie instead, if that was OK with me. I said that was fine and, when she came by to pick DD up, I offered her $20 to pay for my DD. (I would have given her a $10, but I only had a $20.) She took the $20, which was fine, but didn't offer any change when she brought my DD home. I mean, I know the kid's admission is $6.00, and my daughter got a kid's combo snack, which is $4 or $5 bucks. Isn't is kind of weird for her not to at least offer to give me $5 or $10 change, or am I just being too anal? It's not even the money that I care about, but it just seems weird to pocket the change or use it for her own kid's ticket when she invited my DD in the first place.

I wouldn't have taken any $$ from her if I invited her DD to the movies, and I certainly would have brought her change if I did.

Am I right to be annoyed, or am I just being too nit-picky? Sometimes I just don't "get" people, but then again, maybe I'm the strange one.

Deborah
 
Hopefully it just slipped her mind and she will give you your change soon. But that is just really strange!! I could not imagine doing something like that to someone. I hope you see your change soon.
 
I agree. Not only is it strange not to give change back but to even take the money when she invited your daughter to go with them.
 
Yes definitely strange!!! I would not have taken any money if I invited your DD and she should have given you change!
Tracy
 
I'd let it go. It's way too insignificant to get upset over. I had a friend give up a friendship with another friend over $15. I never understood that. Shrug it off and move on. She might have taken the kids for ice cream or forgot or who knows. But I'd just let it go.

April
 
I hope she just forgot. I had a similar thing happen the other night with a group of girlfriends. We decided on one bill since we all had cash except for one girl with a debit card. The bill comes-$124. My portion was around $27-28 including tax and tip. The girl with the card says everyone give $35? 4 people giving $35 is $140. So this girl pockets $60, puts $44 on her debit with no tip and gives the waitress $20 from our cash, leaving her $30 ahead and the rest of us in the hole! Then she had the nerve to get mad! We should've given the waitress $25 cash which would have left $55 cash and $70 on the card. My other friend saw the waitress giving us a dirty look and asked her if she got our $25 tip and she said no. So basically this friend got her meal and several drinks on us! WTH? Separate checks next time. I hate to be petty, but come on!! Or I should save my money and stay home and drink my own beer!

And if it was my idea to take a kid out, I'd pay.
 
I have taken money from moms before, just because they won't hear otherwise, and then I give it back after the fact when THEY don't have a choice! I have forgotten though, but when I realized, I called so they didn't think I was just pocketing it! Hopefully, she will make it right. It is, indeed, just the principle of the matter.
 
I would have given you back the change. I hope she just forgot and will give you the money, the next time she sees you.
 
If I'd done the inviting, I'd have paid. And if I gave the money, I'd expect my change back. I'd also have given you your change back. Granted, $5 or $10 isn't much money, but to some people it really is and you never know their financial situation. Maybe she put the whole thing on her debit card, and couldn't break the $20. But then, she should've given you the whole thing back, or at least made mention. Or just gone to Blockbuster and rented a movie.

Things are like this at my work, too. We all (well, whoever wants) chips in for cake and present for the birthday person. 2 people there are adamant that those who don't pay, don't get cake. If if is my birthday, I could care less who eats the cake. You gave the cake to me, and I say anyone can eat it. Stop being petty. It was one of the those 2 peoples birthday a few months ago, and I didn't donate, so I didn't eat her stinkin' cake. They will actually go around with a list, and say - "you paid - did you get your cake?" or shout it across the room. How childish and petty. The same 2 people, if they order lunch and if everyone gives them their money, tax, and tip, the delivery guy never gets a tip (we've had complaints) How flipin' petty to steal my $1 for the tip for the delivery guy.

People can be weird when it comes to money. I wouldn't ask for it back, unless you really need it, but next time I would give less money, or decline the invite and see if that jogs her memory.

Nan
 
I do not think you are being difficult at all.

If I know the child and mother really well and we have a sort of reciprocal agreement for taking each other's kids out, then I would pay for their kid on the understanding that next time, they will pay for mine.

But if we are not that close, I expect the kids to bring their own money and pay their own admittance and snacks, after all, the very fact that I am taking the kids and the other woman has the afternoon free is gift enough to her, quite honestly.

Bring it up casually next time you see her and just be open and honest and ask for the change. You don't need to explain why you need it, it's your money and your right to get it back.

Stand up for yourself, even with friends/acquaintances.

Clare
 
Hopefully it just slipped her mind. I would be annoyed as well though.

I have had this happen before with one of my youngest son's friend's mother. I stewed about it the first couple of times and drove my husband crazy.

What we have gone to in order to avoid this is when she takes him anywhere that will cost money I give my son the money and I tell him NOT to give it to her but to pay for himself. You may think this sounds ridiculous but the first time I gave him money when she took the boys to a high school football game she told him (after they had left the house) to give her the money so she could "hold it" for him and he came home with nothing. Now I tell him not to give it to her and I tell her to let him pay for himself so he learns about money responsibility.

She annoys me on so many levels but that's a whole other post!
 
Yeah it would bother me, but maybe she genuinely forgot. Some people, my BF for example, forget EVERYTHING! I've been trying since September to get him to bring me back the books I loaned him. Or maybe they did something else too - like got lunch? Dunno...I wouldn't assume she pocketed it on purpose. When I take my daughter's friend, her mother always gives me money, and Gabby always spends it all - plus I pitch in a little.
 
Yes, it would bug me too. I don't even have kids but if I did or if I had offered to take a friend's kid for the afternoon, which I have done occassionaly, I would pay for anything I decided to take them to. Having said that I would also be a little annoyed with myself. I would wish I had said something like "All I have is a twenty. You can just give me the change when I pick her up." This lets the other person know you expect some money back, which I agree should be obvious but some people... That way if they did spend it on something else she'd at least explain.
 
I'd be irritated, too. One time a parent was having an end of year pool party and charged each kid $10 (to pay for pizza and stuff). Well, about 30 kids gave the money, but the party was cancelled due to rain. None of us ever saw a dime. Nice, huh?

Next time you see her, I'd simply say, "Oh, hey, thanks for taking the kids to the movies - that was really nice. Was there any change from the $20 I gave you?" I asked for my money back, too, but never got it...
 
LizO66 said:
I'd be irritated, too. One time a parent was having an end of year pool party and charged each kid $10 (to pay for pizza and stuff). Well, about 30 kids gave the money, but the party was cancelled due to rain. None of us ever saw a dime. Nice, huh?

Next time you see her, I'd simply say, "Oh, hey, thanks for taking the kids to the movies - that was really nice. Was there any change from the $20 I gave you?" I asked for my money back, too, but never got it...
Click to expand...

I'm agog that people would invite others over and then CHARGE THEM for the pleasure. Geez.

As for this situation, if it's a one time thing I'd probably chalk it up to her forgetting and let it go. I would not want to embarrass her over an honest mistake. However if it happened regularly I'd ask her to make sure that DD remembered to bring the change home.

Sparrow
 
LizO66 said:
I'd be irritated, too. One time a parent was having an end of year pool party and charged each kid $10 (to pay for pizza and stuff). Well, about 30 kids gave the money, but the party was cancelled due to rain. None of us ever saw a dime. Nice, huh?

Next time you see her, I'd simply say, "Oh, hey, thanks for taking the kids to the movies - that was really nice. Was there any change from the $20 I gave you?" I asked for my money back, too, but never got it...
Click to expand...

WHAT?!? Holy cow!!! The gall of charging for a party in the first place, and then pocketing the money? There should have been a group lawsuit
 
If she didn't ask you for money and you offered her $20, then I don't think she's out of line. She was going to take the girls to a movie and pay for it. You offered her $20. She accepted what you offered. I'd leave it at that. Next time, if you wanted to give her $10 but only had a twenty, tell her here's a $20 but to please bring you back the change. I think it probably boils down to a lack of communication.

Lisa
 
I have not read everyone's reply but in answer to the initial post - YES!!!! That would really have my undies in a twist!! :mad::mad::mad:
That is very rude to say the least.
 
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