RE: The fascinating discussion continues . . .
This thread continues to interest me, and given that everyone is entitled to my opinion
, I thought I'd kick in a couple more cents (if not sense) . . .
I been thin and I been fat, and I do acknowledge thin is better, for me at least. It is a constant paradox I struggle with, both as an instructor and as a friend, to constantly advocate paying attention to health and performance improvements as the main benefits of exercise and sensible eating habits, while at the same time absolutely cherishing inside the fact that I'm lean and have been so for almost a decade. Thus I'm sure whatever I have to say on the subject must be taken in that context; "foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of tiny minds," and all that.
As a former yo-yo in the body size struggle from early teens on, I remember all too well when the pounds/inches started to creep back on, after a short term shrinkage or weight loss. That happened over and over again, because I wasn't doing anything right - was bingeing and purging, was going on whacked-out diet programs, wasn't doing anything effective physically, and in all candor in my 20's was drinking a ton. I could never ever trust those miniscule temporary losses, although they made my heart soar when they happened, because I always had the fear that this was only temporary, and usually that was correct.
Now, as a consistent exerciser and somewhat healthier eater (not to mention a teetotaller!) it's taken almost a decade to really trust what I have now; my own internal fear of fat gain and fitness loss took a long, long time to ebb. And it's an ongoing challenge to maintain the motivation to stay consistent with my workout program, especially on those days when I'm not instructing. I must admit, that fear hasn't gone away, and I do use it to keep me honest when all of my goodie-two-shoes motivators fail me. A slightly tight skirt is all I need.
I think the "fear of success" in the lean-bod game comes in part from having experienced an anguishing weight gain in earlier times, and self-sabotage is a way of protecting ourselves from the sting of "failure" in spite of our best efforts. I'm sure for many of us, me included, previous best efforts were from diet scams and exercise frauds that were doomed to failure. I also think most women, in America at least and quite probably increasingly all over the globe, are simply emotionally overinvested in the goal of being thin (that in itself being a relative, abstract term) and overinvestment can lead to paranoia and fear no matter what one's condition truly is. Me included. Even though I've learned that being thin is not the cure for all of life's problems, it still is of first importance to me. Maybe I've just learned how to lay down with the lion without being destroyed, rather than destroy the lion itself.
Just some thoughts. I hope this discussion continues. I find people's insights here very compelling.
annette q. aquajock
