Will I Allow Myself to be Thin?

Angela,

I second that people should keep certain comments about others weight to themselves. I am 5' 5 1/2" tall and I weight 115 lbs. You would not believe the comments I get!

My best friend gets on me constantly, telling me I am unhealthy and too thin. Here she has never worked out a day in her life - she is sick most of the time and anemic. And me I have a good iron count am hardly ever sick.

She is always telling me how people cal her to tell her that I am too thin. I have said gee what is it to them? If I thought someone was too fat would I express that to them?

Both of my parents and my brother died from congestive heart failure - my internist tells me he would never recommend for me to gain weight - I try to tell people that - but why do I have to defend myself?

Oh yeah, I have 10 children, too, that even adds to the comments on how "skinny" I am. Well, I do not feel skinny, yes, I am thin - but I feel like I am being attacked when people say negative things about my body.

This same friend of mine also tells me that three of my children are too fat!

Hey, I can't be too underweight, since I still have my periods and I am still able to concieve at 47.

cmoroney
 
RE: We're in this together Anna!

Maybe when we have a bad day (or better yet, when we have a GOOD day,) we could post and tell each other about it. I won't even comment on today. But tomorrow is another day. I will just shoot for that!
 
Clare-
I couldn't agree more. Jennifer Ann- listen to Clare's words of wisdom! Just try to go without Cathe for a week and see what happens! Your body will start to crave those moves like it's never craved them before. Cathe is even more addictive than chocolate.
:)
-Nancy
 
You sound like me, a prime example of someone who has mixed feelings about success. 5 lbs to go? You were there! I can't tell you how many times I've pushed my career forward just to pull myself back. I do it with fitness and everything else too. I've indentified some possible causes, but still don't know which one is most powerful for me:

1. Fear that the more I accomplish, the more I will expect from myself and the more I'll have to accomplish.

2. Like Annette says, fear that I will have to change my image of myself from a "loser" to a "winner", and loser is so familiar and comfortable I'm not sure I want to give it up. It's all I know!

3. My mother is so smart, and she never finished college. I don't want her to feel too jealous of my accomplishments! :-wow

4. My brother is so insecure, he NEEDS to be more successful than me, and I don't want him to be hurt.

5. If I become successful, will I still have time to have fun? Will I still be able to eat stuff I like? Will my life become a total bore??

6. If I become successful, will people still like me?????


And those are just a few! Isn't this a great thread?

-Nancy
 
RE: My thoughts exactly!?!

Jillybean: I do the EXACT SAME THING!!!!! I will work out really hard, then eat cereal, cookies, muffins or potato chips for dinner. I've also been known to eat cookie dough flurries for dinner. How gross is that? Yet, i will work out like a mad-woman. I also feel bulimic w/out the purging! My eating is horrendous. why do we DO this and how to stop???!!
Talk about self-sabotoge.
 
RE: We're in this together Anna!

Hi Jillybean,

If you ever need to vent, please do e-mail me (good idea !)

[email protected]

Anytime ! I never tend to be too far from my computer, I am magnetically drawn to it !!! :D

Anna :)
 
RE: We're in this together Anna!

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON Nov-22-02 AT 12:28PM (Est)[/font][p]OOOPS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
RE: My thoughts exactly!?!

Okay lynn, who are you and how did you steal my life. I used to have sputs of clean eating days here and there, but they are none existant lately. I have found that on days where I post all of the crap I eat, I do better the next day. Not that we have eating disorders, but binge eating, secretive eating, etc thrive on being able to hide. Maybe we should air our dirty laundry. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and struggles!
 
RE: My thoughts exactly!?!

I have the same problem. I work out hard, read fitness and health magazines, but my eating habits stink.
Jillybean - I love candy corn and had a big problem with it this year. Haven't had any since Halloween - even passed up the reduced price bags after the holiday. Of course, I just eat other junk instead... I am so sick of the constant battle with food and losing constantly! Like you (and I think Anna also?), I am a former anorexic and I can't believe that I have gone from not eating anything to eating so much junk.
Erica
 
RE: My thoughts exactly!?!

This interjection into the eating meeting may not be addressing the problem of fear of success. But I have found that it works with me to have snacks every 2 to 3 hours of 300 calories or so (more than a Luna bar!) with plenty of protein. This keeps that famished, ravenous beast at bay and enables me to be rational when choosing lunch.

I also do enjoy some sweets now and then, like once a day or so.
 
RE: My thoughts exactly!?!

Lynn, Anna, Jillybean: I can relate to all of you! I work out 6 days a week, for a total of about 7 hours, but my eating is horrendous...the thought of clean eating just sends me into fits of depression. Going without the sweets and stuff. I've been known to eat chocolate for lunch/dinner. Or doughnuts. I've tried the low carb thing and hated hated hated it; never have I felt so dissatisfied with my food in my life. I can't (or won't) stick to anything that asks me to give up food I like...but I'm so all-or-nothing about it! About a year ago I started freaking out to lose weight to fit into my wedding dress (no, of course I couldn't have it altered); but I've gained all that weight back and then some.

What to do??? Hm. I just had to vent.

Holly
 
Me too

This thread is so insightful. I have the same problem I get close to my goal and then I sabogate myself I don't know what it is. I can be eating some pizza and know I shouldn't and will continue to do it. Sometimes I get so discouraged because I don't know what to do. When I'm out, forget about it, if I'm eating with friends at a restaruant I eat whatever I want. It's like it's something inside of me that I can't say no, just get a salad. Instead, I'll have chicken fingers and french fries and feel guilty the whole time but will continue to eat it.

Here lately I haven't even tried to watch what I eat. I'm stuck at 151 right now I had gotten all the way to 140 and now look I've totally screwed myself up. The fact that the holidays are coming doesn't help at all.

Shanda
 
Me too

This thread is so insightful. I have the same problem I get close to my goal and then I sabogate myself I don't know what it is. I can be eating some pizza and know I shouldn't and will continue to do it. Sometimes I get so discouraged because I don't know what to do. When I'm out, forget about it, if I'm eating with friends at a restaruant I eat whatever I want. It's like it's something inside of me that I can't say no, just get a salad. Instead, I'll have chicken fingers and french fries and feel guilty the whole time but will continue to eat it.

Here lately I haven't even tried to watch what I eat. I'm stuck at 151 right now I had gotten all the way to 140 and now look I've totally screwed myself up. The fact that the holidays are coming doesn't help at all.

Shanda
 
I can relate Robin. I had gotten all the way down to 140 and I was thrilled. I'm currently at 151 and depressed about it but you wouldn't know it by what I eat. I just don't know how to stop and that sounds so bogus because I know me and only me can control what I put in my mouth. It's so depressing now, I have to start all over again.

Shanda
 
RE: A few meek suggestions . . .

This thread continues to spawn many interesting thoughts and feelings; I'm particularly struck by the number of people here who feel like they're out of control in their eating, and/or sabotaging themselves as they get close to their goals.

I would like to make a few suggestions, if nothing else but for the December holiday season:

1: Forget about the scale for the month of December.

2. Forget about the "clean eating" dogma for the month of December.

3. Forget about the results-based "rotation" dogma, whatever that might be for you right now, for the month of December.

4. Forget about your "goal weight", goal skirt size, goal weight loads per workout, etc., for the month of December.

5. Forget about measuring yourselves against some ideal which you ostensibly have not achieved, for the month of December.

INSTEAD:

1. Put the scale away, even if it means throwing it away or giving it to a friend for safekeeping, for the month of December.

2. Eat your FAVORITE healthy {but not TOO healthy! :) } foods in moderate amounts, and allow yourself a treat (and call it a "treat", NOT a "cheat") each day, for the month of December.

3. Do your FAVORITE workouts at least 5X per weeks, regardless of what they might be, for the month of December.

4. Maintain your current workout schedule just for its own sake.

5. Value yourselves for who you are, and understand that as a consistent exerciser you occupy a tiny niche of the American landscape; fewer than 20% of Americans exercise at all, and far fewer even than that exercise effectively.

The more you try to control something the more it will slip out of your grasp. The more you try to direct the outcome of any endeavor, especially when you are talking about a complex biological miracle like the human body, the more frustrated and tense you will be and the more disappointing these outcomes will be. The more rigid you are with every devilish detail of exercise and nutrition, the more "out of control" you'll feel.

Just give it up and have fun, just for the month of December. Don't worry - the frustrations will still be there in January if you want to bring them back into your lives.

Annette Q. Aquajock
 
Thanks Annette!

Annette,

Thanks so much! I really needed to hear it. I am driving the scale to my girlfriends this afternoon, knowing I do not have the willpower to stay away. This is a very timely subject, and a time of major eating gulit /not eating torture for me. After Imax this morning I actually wondered if it was safe to do more because I am so freaked out that I actually might eat too much on Thursday. Forget that crap! I am seriously going to try and let this baggage go. Today is my sons birthday, and I never eat cake. I was actually weighing the idea of birthday cake vs Pumpkin pie, knowing that I would not allow myself both in one week. I was looking at the recipe as I was making it, adding fat, carbs, etc., then dividing by one slice, on and on. The joke is that of course I stay the same exact weight despite my extremely rigid eating. I am going to try and let it go just a bit, but it scares me to death. One treat a day seems good, and allows me to still feel in control. You are a very wise woman Annette!

Thanks,
Dawn
 
Thanks Annette!

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON Nov-26-02 AT 02:11PM (Est)[/font][p]oops, double post
 
RE: Thanks Annette!

Bless you Annette!!! And just for fun I'm going to throw Thanksgiving in with the month of December.

Briee :-jumpy

P.S. Can you guarantee I won't look like jumpy man by the month of January? Great posts, they are currently needed.
 
RE: Thanks Briee and Dawn!!

You gotta know I believe what I wrote with all my heart, and I've lived both sides!

Briee - you and I will look like the Jumpy Man after we do Interval Max 2 for the first time! I'm still trying to imaginate :) what Interval #9 is!

annette q. aquajock
your bunny-hugging sob-sister liberal bud
 
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