Who has married more than once?
- Thread starter red_mct
- Start date
Imafitnessfreak
Cathlete
Isn't once enough?:+ :+
Sorry...just had to....
Sorry...just had to....
pink_fortitude
Banned
LOL Sarah!
Missy
Missy
allwildgirl
Cathlete
*raises hand* Me. I've been married twice. First time was a HUGE mistake. One of those ones where you're walking down the aisle thinking "WTH am I doing?". He was a little.... um.... different. The second time was better, but ended up not working so well. I won't bore you with any details.
I'm not sure what you mean by "was it easier or harder the second time"? Was what easier or harder?
I'm not sure what you mean by "was it easier or harder the second time"? Was what easier or harder?
Sarah - LOL! Yes, once should be enough!
I've been married twice. I jumped into the second one too quickly and it ended up being a disastrous mess. Can you say "rebound"???? He was horribly emotionally abusive. After the divorce, I was ELATED but then I spiraled into depression. Went through therapy, medication, and then discovered the best medicine was good old-fashioned EXERCISE and CLEAN DIET!! I've learned so much about myself since then and have come back a MUCH stronger person. Hmmmmmm.....I should thank that loser some time.....nah!!
However, I'm a little jaded regarding marriage and I'm just not a big fan.
My boyfriend now is the most incredible person I've ever met. He knows how I feel about marriage but he still wants to marry me someday.
I know other girls have had MUCH better luck the second time around. Dani comes to mind!! ;-)
Angie
I've been married twice. I jumped into the second one too quickly and it ended up being a disastrous mess. Can you say "rebound"???? He was horribly emotionally abusive. After the divorce, I was ELATED but then I spiraled into depression. Went through therapy, medication, and then discovered the best medicine was good old-fashioned EXERCISE and CLEAN DIET!! I've learned so much about myself since then and have come back a MUCH stronger person. Hmmmmmm.....I should thank that loser some time.....nah!!
However, I'm a little jaded regarding marriage and I'm just not a big fan. My boyfriend now is the most incredible person I've ever met. He knows how I feel about marriage but he still wants to marry me someday.
I know other girls have had MUCH better luck the second time around. Dani comes to mind!! ;-)
Angie
I've been married twice. The first time, when I was 19, for a year and a half. I was 19 and starry-eyed; need I say more?
I married my second husband when I was 25. I was much more mature, and I looked around with a better idea of what I was looking for in a husband. Better yet, I think, I brought home someone my dad approved of.
Unlike a lot of people who keep bringing home only slightly altered versions of their first, or so I hear, I looked for and found someone who was the complete opposite of my first husband in every imaginable way. Very stable, calm, and settled. (As opposed to exciting, "dangerous," and very UNstable.)
We've been married 19 years, so I guess you could say it worked out MUCH better the second time around. I think the secret is finding someone who is not at all like the first one. The trick is, you don't usually realize you've found another version of the first one until after you're stuck with him for a while (went through a few of those, too, just didn't marry them the second time).
Shari
I married my second husband when I was 25. I was much more mature, and I looked around with a better idea of what I was looking for in a husband. Better yet, I think, I brought home someone my dad approved of.
Unlike a lot of people who keep bringing home only slightly altered versions of their first, or so I hear, I looked for and found someone who was the complete opposite of my first husband in every imaginable way. Very stable, calm, and settled. (As opposed to exciting, "dangerous," and very UNstable.)
We've been married 19 years, so I guess you could say it worked out MUCH better the second time around. I think the secret is finding someone who is not at all like the first one. The trick is, you don't usually realize you've found another version of the first one until after you're stuck with him for a while (went through a few of those, too, just didn't marry them the second time).
Shari
67firecracker
Cathlete
Shari - you reminded me of something a wise therapist told an acquaintance of mine. She consistently kept ending up with rotten men - same kind of guy just a different package. The therapist told her when she goes to a party she needs to notice the men she is attracted too and run in the opposite direction! Her assignment was to find someone she wasn't remotely attracted to and start a conversation! Strange advice - too bad she didn't listen, her latest catch is in jail!
Trish
http://www.dogshow.ca/images/running-dog.gif
Trish
http://www.dogshow.ca/images/running-dog.gif
>Isn't once enough?:+ :+
>
>Sorry...just had to....
:7 :7 :7 Funny, Sarah. I married my husband twice -- in court and in church. The church wedding was really more for my devout Catholic family, more than for the both of us. It was quite hard getting through it, with the church making us feel like sinners for getting married in court first and then insisting that we get lectures about marriage before the wedding. Now why would I get advice about marriage from people who stay celibate forever? Can I say 'Duh!'?" I'm glad that's all behind me. So you're right. ONCE is ENOUGH. And that one time better be a moment for the two people involved in the marriage, not for a church or an entire community. Because then, why bother?
Pinky
>
>Sorry...just had to....
:7 :7 :7 Funny, Sarah. I married my husband twice -- in court and in church. The church wedding was really more for my devout Catholic family, more than for the both of us. It was quite hard getting through it, with the church making us feel like sinners for getting married in court first and then insisting that we get lectures about marriage before the wedding. Now why would I get advice about marriage from people who stay celibate forever? Can I say 'Duh!'?" I'm glad that's all behind me. So you're right. ONCE is ENOUGH. And that one time better be a moment for the two people involved in the marriage, not for a church or an entire community. Because then, why bother?
Pinky
Elaine Keller
Cathlete
I've been married twice.
My first husband was psycho. Since I diagnosed him myself and I'm not a mental health professional that could be a little off though
My second marriage just works. We've had some rough spots but sometimes I am amazed at how easy it is being married to him.
We're the exact opposites in so many ways. Politically, think Mary Matalin and James Carville. I'm messy, he's neat. I spend money, he saves money. I like to relax, he's high strung.
My first husband was psycho. Since I diagnosed him myself and I'm not a mental health professional that could be a little off though
My second marriage just works. We've had some rough spots but sometimes I am amazed at how easy it is being married to him.
We're the exact opposites in so many ways. Politically, think Mary Matalin and James Carville. I'm messy, he's neat. I spend money, he saves money. I like to relax, he's high strung.
lisaannjam
Cathlete
Gosh...we seem to have so much more in common than a love for Cathe, and masochistic exercise behaviors, don't we?? haha I too am married for the second time. The first time I was 17 1/2 and was trying to escape an abusive home situation. It lasted 13 terrible years until I got the courage to leave. He was such a CHEATER!!!! It wrecked my self-esteem, big time. I was then single for 6 years and discovered myself and actually liked what I found. I then met my wonderful man who is my husband now...and I can say it can be wonderful the second time around. I really thought I'd never, EVER get married again, it was so awful the first time. But, I got much better at picking someone who was good to me, and I also got lucky. My picture trail actually has my second wedding on it. It's harder at first because you're scared, I think so anyway. I hope you find the happiness I did!!!!!
Yep been married twice and divorced twice. I am a very independant woman and my first husband was a control freak. Since I couldn't be controled he resorted to abuse, I resorted to divorce. I am not sorry about that one as I had my son with him who is now 24. I married a second time a few years later and I truly LOVED this guy. He drank a little to much(every night) but he was very good to me and was not a obnoxious drunk. I could not however watch him drink everynight and more importantly have my son see him drinking every night. It was not how I wanted my son raised. So I gave him some choices and he tried here and there for a few weeks at a time but couldnt stay away from the alcohol. It broke my heart to have to leave him but I did. I still thinkk about him and always will but I did what was best for my son.
Terri
Terri
dani21496
Cathlete
>I know other girls have had MUCH better luck the second time
>around. Dani comes to mind!! ;-)
>
>
>Angie
Awwwwww! Angie, that is sweet! Yes, I was married before for 11 years and had my son. My ex was very emotionally abusive and unfaithful too. He treated me terrible and even started to be physically abusive. (Not at first though) He completely changed after the first 5 years or so. I was devastated beyond belief.
Luckily, I met my current DH and he is wonderful. He is wonderful to both my son and me. I'm still trying to work out some issues I developed from being treated so horribly by my ex though. It's not easy, but thank God DH is so supportive.
:7
>around. Dani comes to mind!! ;-)
>
>
>Angie
Awwwwww! Angie, that is sweet! Yes, I was married before for 11 years and had my son. My ex was very emotionally abusive and unfaithful too. He treated me terrible and even started to be physically abusive. (Not at first though) He completely changed after the first 5 years or so. I was devastated beyond belief.
Luckily, I met my current DH and he is wonderful. He is wonderful to both my son and me. I'm still trying to work out some issues I developed from being treated so horribly by my ex though. It's not easy, but thank God DH is so supportive.
:7
Dani53
Cathlete
I don't know if it counts or not, but my husband and I did it twice. We were married in a civil ceremony originally. It was kind of quick even though we had dated for 6 years. Then on our first anniversary, my mom and sister threw us a surprise wedding reception. It was amazing! We thought we were just coming over for dinner, but all of our friends and family were there. We had a ton of food and a three tierd cake as well. Our pastor was there as well and he remarried us with Christian vows. It was really wonderful!
WantFit
Cathlete
I married twice. 1st was my high school sweet heart, actually we were in the same school since 1st Grade. He is the most intellegent, gentle man and nice dad to my daughter. However, he is a gay. LOL...It took us almost 15 years to figure it out.;-)
Now I married a hot blood Sicilian. He is a lovely person. He is good to my DH and we have our son last year. I was raised in a totally different enviroment from his. We still have some issues to workout. But as he said love would get us thru everything.
WantFit
Now I married a hot blood Sicilian. He is a lovely person. He is good to my DH and we have our son last year. I was raised in a totally different enviroment from his. We still have some issues to workout. But as he said love would get us thru everything.
WantFit
Bobbi
Cathlete
I enjoy going over the qualities I will look for in my second husband with my first but, once bitten, twice shy. If I can get rid of number one, bwa ha ha ha ha, no way am I getting a second. They are worse than children!
Bobbi http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif "Chick's rule!"
Tell me, what it is you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? -Mary Oliver
Bobbi http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif "Chick's rule!"
Tell me, what it is you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? -Mary Oliver
Well I'm coming up on round two here, and like Shari I learned to run, not walk from anyone similar to the first one. After my divorce I dated one guy for 8 months, and more than one of my friends and neighbors said "He seems nice, but he reminds us of XXX...does he remind you of XXX? I was surprised because I couln't see it. He did however have some p.i.t.a. qualities not unlike spouse#1. (Pain In The...) And yet I was really attracted to him.
Then I met THIS ONE and am still pinching myself ten months later how sweet life can be with someone who's as sweet as, well, MOI! Life is soooo good and he treats me so well. Interestingly, he did not make my heart pound like ex-hsbnd and rebound boyfriend, but he also never made me cry! He's ten times cuter, nicer, funner, kinder, and all around better human being than the past ones, and more than what I wanted.
So, do-overs can be a very good thing. In answer to your question, EASIER! :7 :7 :7
bella
http://www.picturetrail.com/bella652005
Then I met THIS ONE and am still pinching myself ten months later how sweet life can be with someone who's as sweet as, well, MOI! Life is soooo good and he treats me so well. Interestingly, he did not make my heart pound like ex-hsbnd and rebound boyfriend, but he also never made me cry! He's ten times cuter, nicer, funner, kinder, and all around better human being than the past ones, and more than what I wanted.
So, do-overs can be a very good thing. In answer to your question, EASIER! :7 :7 :7
bella
http://www.picturetrail.com/bella652005
Don't know if easier or harder applies--it always takes effort to make a relationship work. Anyhow, my first marriage was right after college, which for me was much too young. Didn't really have a sense of who I was or what I wanted out of life, and when my ex decided it was time for me to stay home and raise children--well, I discovered that that was not for me (fortunately, we did not have kids before I figured that out).
Tried again 6 years later, and the second one knew that I didn't want children and agreed to that. Everything went along fine until he got fired from his job for sexual harrassment. I believed his story that it was a setup, but from there on he started just getting stranger and stranger. He finally decided that he MUST have a child and we decided to adopt a baby, with the understanding he'd stay home and raise her (girl only, he said), as my job was more demanding and full-time and his wasn't. Long story short, he bullied me into adopting a 12-year-old girl, I discovered that he did have problems keeping his hands off other women (not affairs, but strange touchy feely kind of stuff that was very creepy); he never touched me but transferred all the nonsexual stuff about our marriage to the 12-yr-old and ignored me in all ways, yet expected me to stay home and raise the girl full-time...I left.
That divorced nearly killed me(developed depression and an eating disorder), actually, as I went into the marriage with a really strong commitment. I met my current BF about a year the divorce, and we have been living together for 4 years now, and he is wonderful and sensitive and kind. We sometimes talk marriage--but it really scares me at this point and I don't know if I could or want to do it again.
Tried again 6 years later, and the second one knew that I didn't want children and agreed to that. Everything went along fine until he got fired from his job for sexual harrassment. I believed his story that it was a setup, but from there on he started just getting stranger and stranger. He finally decided that he MUST have a child and we decided to adopt a baby, with the understanding he'd stay home and raise her (girl only, he said), as my job was more demanding and full-time and his wasn't. Long story short, he bullied me into adopting a 12-year-old girl, I discovered that he did have problems keeping his hands off other women (not affairs, but strange touchy feely kind of stuff that was very creepy); he never touched me but transferred all the nonsexual stuff about our marriage to the 12-yr-old and ignored me in all ways, yet expected me to stay home and raise the girl full-time...I left.
That divorced nearly killed me(developed depression and an eating disorder), actually, as I went into the marriage with a really strong commitment. I met my current BF about a year the divorce, and we have been living together for 4 years now, and he is wonderful and sensitive and kind. We sometimes talk marriage--but it really scares me at this point and I don't know if I could or want to do it again.