Taking it to the Max-- June 2013 thru...

Hi y'all

Thanks for your prayers and kind words. I am not sure what to say except its not fair, I love my son, I wonder if I could have done anything to prevent it. Just so much to process and I still can't stop crying but he kept telling me when we die we are to rejoice but I miss him so. I do still jog cause that's all that helps. I sleep, run, cry take Xanax my doctor gave me. I am praying God has mercy on him if it was his fault, I am confused but I am still dragging. I don't want to be alive sometimes but I have another son that needs me. We have to keep going. Ryan would want me to. There was over 300 people to see my baby and tell me he would tell them about God and all the good things he did for others his age and my age and never wanted money for it. He was a good person, so pretty to me.
I am not wanting to be on here cause I don't want to bring anyone down. I try to be positive.
 
Renee,
I cannot tell you how good it is to hear from you. I really don't even have the words. I am so happy to see you.:):):)
There is absolutely nothing that I can say to make you feel better, as you have experienced a deep, deep loss, and what I imagine is a parent's greatest heartbreak. But, you are right, you have another son, a husband, and many friends and family who love you and are there to support you. And you have all of us as well, and your faith is strong and I know that provides you with solace.

Post when you want, don't if it is too much, but I know we're all here for you. No one expects you to be chipper or cheerful during a time like this. Grieve, get angry, get sad...do whatever you need to do, and share it with us when you want to or are ready to do so.

Much love!
Eva
 
renee-- I second everything that eva just said-- it is so good to hear from you! I have been thinking about you and your family so much! what you are going though has to be one of the most heart wrenching experiences a person could have happen-- whatever you are feeling (or not feeling) is okay and perfectly normal. grief is such a difficult, powerful thing. I still cannot even say that I am on the other side of it with my mom, so I cannot even imagine how you are feeling. I think we all want you to be here if you feel like it, or take time away-- and when you do come here, please don't feel as though you need to be strong or positive for us. you need to feel and say whatever you are feeling and whatever you want to say. I am here for you, in whatever way I can be, in this high tech world of ours. the chaplain at my mom's nursing home said something that I carry with me still and that is that each of us grieves differently, and we need to honor that and support one another through the difficult process of healing. don't feel like you have to push yourself or rush anything, just be where you are at and be gentle with yourself. you will get through this, I know, because of your faith and your family who is still here with you-- and hopefully we here on this forum can offer some support to you as well. know that you are loved and that you are in our thoughts and prayers. you all were so supportive of me this year and I know I was not positive and it was probably difficult to read some of my posts-- but that is what life is, right? it sure isn't easy, but we can all help each other get through. hugs and prayers, renee. come back when you feel like it and say whatever you need to say.

eva-- I want to check out that link you posted. not sure tracy Anderson is my type of instructor, but I am curious as to how effective you will find her workouts to be. sounds like a great plan you have!

I ended up doing crossfire on sunday and my ankle was just fine-- somehow it seems the short bursts of HiiT and tabatas are much easier on it then the steady state/jumping jacks of HS or the premix from drillmax. Monday I did low impact again, S&G and today did burn sets back, biceps and core plus 1/2 hour of yoga... so now tomorrow I will probably try TTM triple tabata and more yoga and possibly some leg work-- will see if my ankle stays healthy and then plan things from there.

hello ladylep!

hello to Melissa again, too!

good night everyone,

katie
 
Hello All,
Katie, the clip I posted was not TA. I would agree that she is probably not your cup of tea for myriad reasons...she can be pretty controversial in the things that she says, and her workouts are very, very different than the ones you're enjoying now. The clip was for the UGI. The ones I'll be doing are ART workouts, but the clip I posted is from the company that makes the UGI, as they put out some of their own workouts for it. I can't send ART clips because they are not public. I'm happy to hear your ankle is feeling better and that you were able to tackle CrossFire. I would say you're back in the saddle with that and S&G, which also puts a lot of pressure on the ankle because of the discs.

Have you all been checking out the promos for the new workouts?

Hi Ladylep and Renee!

Eva
 
hi girls. quick post from me as nygel has schoolwork to do on this computer and I need to start figuring out dinner as well. today I did the triple tabata from TTM plus low impact tabata from CF, the standing segment from legs and then 20 minutes of mellow yoga. it was a good workout and I burned over 600 calories:). my ankle feels fine, but still will rest it tomorrow with a weights and yoga day.

eva-- that is interesting about ankles and the discs-- I had never even thought of that! here I thought I was giving them a break with the low impact series. I have been walking the dogs with tennis shoes vs sandals since all of this happened, and I think that has really made a difference, too. I am pretty sure, though, that I should not be doing cardio every day and for whatever reason, that jumping jacks really tweak my ankle. I think this is from my flat feet which tend to pronate inward-- way too much pressure/weight on the inside ankle. I will go check out that clip later tonight-- sounds interesting! I have been watching all the clips of the new workouts. I am the opposite of you with the step, as I have two left feet and just get frustrated through most cathe step workouts. I am really looking forward to the legs and abs one, though, and the x10-- today I saw the other clip, forgetting the name of it, and it looks good, too:). wonder when my dvds will arrive-- too bad I can't just send you my step ones! will probably not use often, if ever.

hello ladylep.

hello and hugs to renee.


nygel's turn!

peace,

katie
 
hi girls-- me, again! feeling tired today as we are having major clouds and thunderstorms and I was up super early to bring alec and imala to the bus. anyway, did burn sets chest, shoulders and tris and then 35 minutes of shiva rea yoga, the fire and water segment plus forward bends. cello choir meets tonight as do chamber groups for all three kids, so will be a long night-- wish I could take a nap beforehand;).

eva-- I checked out that video and it looks fun! though spending 160 (I think that was the price) right now is a no-go. so expensive with alec down at the u of m-- even though tuition is free and so are books, he had to pay for a practice room card in the music school and transportation just isn't cheap. anyway, let me know if you get it what you think-- that ball looks fun:)

hello ladylep.

continued thoughts and prayers, renee.

have a nice day all.

blessings,

katie
 
Happy Friday!

Katie, have a great time at the concerts this evening. All the best to the kids.

The Ugi is more expensive than what I want to spend right not too. I'm actually putting it on my Christmas list and DH will get one for me, hopefully. There is another balled called a Dynamax that is similar that is a little cheaper. I hope to get one or the other.

I am going to get a kettlebell this weekend though. I've been wanting one for a while but did not want to spend the money on one. But, I'm going to start adding some swings here and there and want to get one for that. ART also uses them.

Yesterday was TA and a 3 mile walk. Today will be just walking as Jeremy and I have plans after work and I won't get home to workout.

Hi Ladylep and Renee.

Eva
 
Hello y'all

I am trying to keep up jogging but I took two days off in a row yesterday and day before. Today I jogged but it was slow. I just tried so hard but didn't have it in me yet, but I'm not giving up. I still hear ryan telling me not give up, I loved the few times he jogged with me he helped a lot.
Soo I said in fb not sure if you guys got it. I am suppose to do a 5 k but wanted to drop out but my heart says to keep going cause Ryan wants me to, he bragged to his friends how I jogged and was strong lol it was nice to know he was proud if me. He used to be so fit too. He could jog a 5 minute mile ! In freshmen yr in hs he was first place out of school and every year for physical fitness every year. He was a state champ wrestler for his weight class. He used to say he got his fight from me lol.
I miss him so much.

But anyway I am going to ware a t shirt with his name during the run and I am attaching the shirt I got today on here so tall can see it. It makes me so happy to know I'm running for my baby.
It was a comfort to see all the people at his funeral even my age that was saying how he touched there hearts with his smile, and how he talked to them about his love for God.
 

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Renee- Thanks for posting the pictures! What a cute smile he had! I would just encourage you to do what you can and let the rest go. I think it's great you can get out to jog, whenever you can. The fact that you are moving is great!

This week I loosely followed the September Rotation with : M-Legs and Core 1, T-30 min walk, W- Muscle Max Bis, Back and core, Th-40 min walk, F-Muscle Max tris, shoulders and chest. I was really sore from Legs for a couple of days, better now. Tomorrow is Imax 2, that one scares me sometimes!

Next week will have a similar flow: M-Gym Styles:Legs, T-walk outside, W-back, shoulders, bis (not sure what I'll do, maybe Xtrain, maybe something else I have, suggestions welcome! Wed. is my early out the door morning, so 30 min or less work out is best), Th-HiiT 30/30, F-tris/chest (suggestions welcome!) and S-Cardio Leg Blast.

My weight training DVDs are: Muscle Max (did upper body this week), Xtrain, Gym Styles:Legs, Body Max 2, Cardio and Weights, Timesaver, STS Total Body (maybe I'll do that one...), Low Impact Circuit, Butt and Guts, Travel Fit, Hardcore Extreme and 4Day (just did this one the week before last). The ones that stick out to me are: STS Total Body, BM2, LIC, maybe Hardcore Extreme. Almost anyone I choose, I may have to do it from the Mix and Max menu like I did MM this week. It doesn't really bother me, like I thought it would.

Eating has been pretty good, last week I was up 3 pounds, this week I'm down 2.5. Tracking almost everything and keeping sweets down to 3 days a week. I'll be going raw again on Sunday thru Wed or whenever my period comes...

Hi Eva and Katie!

Have a great weekend!
 
hi girls! heading out the door to a visit with rik's great aunt in a minute, but wanted to check in and say hello. today I did pyramid HiiT and jivamukti yoga (60 minutes). then I took bugsy on a 25 minute walk-- henri wasn't in the mood today. yesterday was my rest day and it was a good thing as the kids had a performance class at 8:30 and then there was a party for jameson.

renee, I think that is so wonderful that you are running for ryan. I had such a hard time with workouts when mom died. everything felt strange for a long time. I remember pushing myself to do it, but my heart wasn't really in it. continued love and prayers to you.

ladylep-- great job on the workouts! wish I was going raw. have been eating too much dark chocolate these days:eek:

hello eva! hope you are having a good weekend!

blessings,

katie
 
I blew it with going raw the last 2 days: Sunday: raw until afternoon: cheese and dinner was Caesar salad and marinated grilled chicken and a brownie for dessert. Yesterday I was all raw until dinner and then I such a frustrating day that it was all I could muster to get dinner on the table, I hate Monday's. Dinner was ground beef in tomato sauce with whole wheat pasta and string beans with butter. And then a few large handfuls of bittersweet Ghiradelli chocolate chips. :( I did do IMAX 2 premix 1-5 intervals on Saturday, the other intervals 6-9 on Sunday, GymStyles legs yesterday and a half hour walk outside with my neighbor this morning. I'm going to try to be all raw today.

Hi Renee, Eva and Katie!
 
Hello Everyone,
Renee, good to hear from you! How wonderful that Ryan was so supportive of your fitness and health, and that he used you as inspiration for himself and for others! Your t-shirt of him is so lovely. Thank you for sharing that with us. When is the 5K?

Katie, good to hear from you too! You and Ladylep are busy as always. Kudos for getting your workouts in with all the other stuff you have going on. How as the party for Jameson? I hope he is continuing to do well. Same with Rik's dad. How is Rik's hernia doing?

Ladylep, you've been jamming out the workouts even with all you have going on!! That's awesome.

Yesterday was a rest day for me. Sunday was TA, MS work, day 14 of hipcentric. Saturday was Bodystrikes...this was an awesome workout that put together kickbox combos for lower body. I burned 600 calories in an hour, and it was mostly low impact. I love this workout!! Friday was a 3 mile walk. Today I have TA and rebounder cardio scheduled.

Take care,
Eva
 
hi girls. hope everyone is having a good day. I have come down with the gunk:(. alec had it first and was miserable with his long schedule last week, then nygel, and now rik and I. I am super achey and have sore throat and sinus junk. it has been hard working out-- and I would have skipped it entirely, but have not had fever (or really low grade)-- so yesterday I did bis and tris plus 35 mins of yoga and today did 30/30 HiiT and 45 mins of yoga. I am noticing that my legs are thinner than they were, though my stomach remains the same. I don't know if that's from all the extra yoga or the disc/horizontal work, but I will take it;).

eva-- that low(er) impact 600 calorie workout sounds great! where do I find it? great job as usual with your workouts! thanks for asking about jameson and david-- both are doing great! it is amazing what each of them went through, and how you would never even know it now. the only caution with jameson is that he gets picked up with support under his bottom and upper back-- never under his arms, as it puts too much strain on where his major incision was.

renee-- I am curious when the 5K is as well-- still keeping you in my thoughts! hope you are being gentle on yourself. hugs.

ladylep-- sorry about the raw, but how cool is the challenge you and your friend are doing! way to go! you sure have had your workouts down lately, too!

oh, and the other good news. yesterday nygel and I went to the park with the dogs, and a white chow chow suddenly appeared with no collar or tags. bugsy tends to get aggressive around big dogs, so I had to pick him up and hold him, all the while this chow chow was very interested in sniffing at him and humping my leg!:p:eek: I called 311 and they said they would send someone out when they were able, which bummed me out to think of this dog in the pound, but wasn't sure what I would do with him given bugsy's attitude and the fact that he had no collar or tags. anyway, we were walking home with him following us, and I thought I may just put him in our yard when he took off after another man with a dog. I had to run to go pick up alec and imala, so we went home and drove past the park on our way to the school to see if we could spot the chow. no sign of him:(. anyway, last night I went on my facebook page, and who should I see but the white chow-- the other man had taken him home with him and has posted his pics on fb and other sites to try and reunite him with his owner(s). I am so grateful! had been so worried about him and if he had ended up at the pound, if he would have been put down. love happy endings!

alright, headed out to the park!

peace,

katie
 
Hello,
Katie, I am sorry that you guys are under the weather. :( That stinks! I hope you all feel better soon. You are all such troopers, though...and you'll forge ahead regardless I know, but I'm sorry that you're unwell. I'm also happy to hear that someone took the dog and is trying to find it's owner. I had a neighbor years ago that had a chow and frankly it was not a very nice dog, but that one sounds kind of nice. What kind of dog is Bugsy again? I don't recall. Is Henri still laying pretty low? I noticed you did not mention him on the walk with you. Thanks for the update on Jameson and Rik's dad. I am so glad to hear they are both doing well.:D

Ladylep, good luck with your 30 day lunge challenge! When I first started ART, I was doing add-ons after my workouts and it made a big difference. I think that's how I managed to get down the inch on my waist and a little on my hips and thighs...it was the add-ons more than the workouts. I hope you guys are all doing well. How is school going?

Renee, I hope you are doing well...thinking of you often.

Did you guys hear that Cathe's dad passed away yesterday? I'm not sure how closely you follow the regular boards, but she had shared last year that he had cancer. I read on the VF board that he passed away. So sad. :( I sent Cathe a FB message. Not sure if she really gets those or not, but I wanted to send her my condolences.

Katie, here is the video that I mentioned, Bodystrikes, Bodystrikes Volume 3 by Powerstrike DVD - Ilaria Montagnani. There are others in this series but I started off with this one. Based on this, I would definitely check out the others. I like this instructor and have three other workouts by her, one is for abs and pushups, one is kickboxing, and the other is like a circuit workout with weights that I find boring...but the other ones are great.

Yesterday I got my 15 lb kettlebell so I did an ART workout with that instead of TA. I also added on 50 swings. I don't know if it was the ART lower body or the swings, but I've got some bum DOMS today. Very happy about that! I will try to add on swings 3-4 days per week. I will buy a 20# bell next week.

Take care,
Eva
 
The 5 k in oct 5

I am not as excited as I was about the new workouts, but dear hubby got me wavemaster heavy bag he ordered it to cheer me up. See my birthday was 8 th and ryan passed away on the 7 th so no birthday thus year. I don't care about birthdays much anyway but my goodness I feel like that is just a sick joke. I am not sure how to look at that.
I am starting to feel some resentment for some reason, jealousy of some kind I guess. Cause my baby is gone. Then I know Ryan is telling me please don't lose your faith mom! But it's so hard not to. I am attempting to work this week but its hard to focus when all I want to do is jog and sleep and eat. Really crawl in a hole. I know I have to keep going but it's like an amputation, apart of me is gone and ill always feel he is missing but I have to lean how to get along without it. This is not like when my mom past. I was close to her and it took two years. But all my life I knew I'd say good bye to her. Never did I think id have to say good bye to my baby, yes I worried a lot and when I look back it may have been a premonition but at the time I thought I was just a worry wart. But I never worried about my other one like that.

Well the only workout I am excited about is rock out knockout for the heavy bag bonus to punch the crap out of something. I can't believe this, I can't hardly believe this. Still
 
Renee,
I think what you're experiencing missing Ryan is totally OK. I think anger and rage and resentment are totally understandable. You are going to be angry and sad, and back again...

I was wondering if you would feel comfortable going to talk to a therapist, or your pastor, or when you're able to, maybe finding a support group? I think losing a child is such a devastating experience, that it might be helpful to talk to other people who have experienced it too. Like you said, you have certain expectations about losing a parent, or heck, since women live longer than men, and because some of us are younger than our mates, we may even think about outliving them. But NO ONE ever thinks they are going to say goodbye to their child.

I did deduce from looking at your facebook page that those two days were right next to each other. I am so sorry about that. :(

Much love,
Eva
 
hi girls. on the run again-- this time to cello lessons and then to get imala and then head back to the school for a variety show tonight. imala turns 15 tomorrow-- still cannot believe where the time goes. we are celebrating just as a family and will have a party-- Halloween themed-- for her next weekend. today if squeezed in supercuts. yesterday did chest, back and shoulders plus yoga.

renee-- I truly cannot imagine what you are going through and cannot even wrap my brain around it. I think eva is right-- you probably need a support group right now. all the feelings you are having are perfectly natural and there is no wrong way to grieve. I know two of my aunts-- one who is no longer with us and another who still is living-- lost kids and it changed them forever. my aunt peggy actually lost two sons-- one when he was 17 at a railroad crossing-- horrible accident, and another when he was in his 40s (he choked to death). I don't know how she made it through, but I know she did have support groups. my other aunt, connie, lost her daughter to a heart condition that had never been diagnosed when she was 20 years old and on spring break in florida. the things that happen can be so horrible sometimes that we are left looking for someone to blame or wondering, what could we have done? I think, though, that sometimes, like the book says by Harold Kushner (which I would highly recommend) bad things happen to good people:(. love and prayers to you.

eva-- thanks for the link! will definitely check out when I have more time. hope you are having a good week!

hello ladylep!

better fly--

blessings,

katie
 
I am all for counseling, I've had that all my life! So I sure know the value of it. But I can't afford it now with the funeral he didn't have life insurance well he did but quit his job one week before this happened so they are checking into it the lady said shed call us to find out. Anyway
Katie can you ask your aunt how it changed them? Will I laugh again without feeling guilt that I am still here and he isn't? Ask her will I ever wake up without a dread that il never see him grow? Maybe just see if they can offer me some ways that helped them?
I had a hard day a work yesterday, thank god it's only three days a week. I hate putting on a smile when I'm dying inside. I didn't think I was ready to go back to work but I have to now to pay our funeral bill.
I am thinking about how hard this is and know ryan would want me to turn the bad to good and do it for the glory of God, so I was thinking if finding out how to make an organization that raises money for parents who have kids with no insurance and no way to pay for funeral and burial that pass on the highways in Sc. So we can at least help one family to pay there funeral off. I know we could ask the funeral home to come up with a package deal, and then raise money by 5 k and bake sales through maybe my church and call it ryan Sizemore burial scholarship fund. For toddlers to 25 yr olds. I don't know trying to keep his name alive and doing something to help others.
They have nothing in sc like that
 
Hi Renee- I think you hit the nail on the head when you said you needed to do it for the glory of God. When I have asked my mom how she got through losing 3 out of 4 children (but none were tragic accidents like yours) was because she had her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. That is what got her through. I have prayed for you and will continue to do so. Happy to hear you are in counseling. I hope that your counselor is pointing you towards Christ.

Eva- I botched up one day of my challenge. A couple of nights ago, I started it, did all the abs and started the lunges but stopped to put the kids to bed and forgot to get back to it. By I'd have done it all other days, you asked how school was going and I forgot to respond. It has been a rough start this year. I didn't put together a schedule like I have in years past thinking that we could be more loose, and it was a bad idea. All of my bus have fallen apart at least once. So I'm going back to a rigid, 30 min block schedule where everyone will have at least two 30 min blocks with me before lunch and at least 2 in the afternoon. I just need to get it in a spread sheet and print it out, thankfully we have a field trip tomorrow so we just have piano practice and lessons tomorrow.

Hi Katie!

I did the leg blasts from cardio leg blast today about 30 min, yesterday I wanted to do chest back and shoulders but there wasn't enough time so I just did cardio and weights upper body for 20 min.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do tomorrow as the last week in the rotation uses cross fit 10 or something that I don't have, and I don't have many of her suggestions. I may just try to 20-30 min of cardio daily and adding in a 15 min XTrain body part to each. Any suggestions?

We have some colds coming, JTrain is coughing like crazy and Little K's nose is starting to run and B said he wasn't feeling very going tonight, he may just be really tired.
 
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