IN Catholic school we used to scoff that we were taught that sex was only 2percent of a marriage, yet you could have it annulled for lack of it.........well, my husband and I were NOT friends first - we were a physical attraction that I had never felt before, being an uber corporate feminist, never boy crazy in my life, hadn't dated much and what happened when I was with him left me powerless - and THEN over a couple years as we got to know each other and find we both loved animals, kids, simpler living, I was hooked.......2 kids and 20 years later - yeah, the sex is 2 percent - lol....but....but....the attraction is still there - the deep connection and feeling of inevitability is there.....also, as I got older , I realized that you don't have an "other half"...you have to be whole yourself and find your way next to someone...I find when I was in my 30's and lots of couples I see in their 20's they expect more from the other person than to be the average foibled human and are crushed when they're not the dream we've conjured them to be and feel them to be in our mind when we are in the "in love " part....
Having said that, I think you can have a strong marriage without the underlying wierd tie that I know my husband and I have, in fact, probably a more productive partnership too, but I guess I'm glad to know that once in my life I understood that bond....I don't expect I ever would again.
and we had it from the start. We've been through good times and bad (many of both), but we still have that thing for each other.
