OK I think I have a problem, help me!

I think it depends on the nature of your relationship with your boyfriend. As someone who has been on both sides of the fence here, it can be a very hurtful thing to do to someone. I wonder how you would feel if your boyfriend cheated on you? If it wouldn't bother you, then I would re-think my relationship with him if I were you. If you have that sort of relationship than maybe it's not that big of a deal. But in my opinion, if you are committed to someone married or not, then you should consider that commitment before anything else. I think we would all expect that courtesy in return.
cArolyn
 
*GASP!* Marla - were you talking to me (about the Hot Tamales)??? I have a serious HT addiction and I just can't buy them anymore or they're gone in a day....and then I have nasty dragon breath.



Angie
 
>I agree with Shelley. I think the problems it would cause
>would outweigh any benefits to this relationship. And they
>ALWAYS start out incredibly sweet...until you go out with
>them!!}(
>
>
>
>Angie



Yeah, I think we can all say they seem perfect at first....

Even if you could live without guilt about your boyfriend, you would probably end up in a situation where you didn't want to see him (the gym guy) and then it would be awkward to run into him. And then you would have to find another gym!Marnie
:p
 
I'm not sure how having sex with a 24-y-o will confirm if her bf is or is not "the one." However, he might decide she's definitely not "the one."

I cannot imagine staying with a SO who can't be faithful, let alone getting married to them.
 
>Who said anything about going out with him? }(
>
>Yeah I know, I have some girlfriends who keep telling me to go
>for it, I really needed a reality check from you guys, thanks.
> I know how stupid it would be but it's still pretty tough.
>It's like having peanut butter fudge sitting in front of you,
>& someone saying if you have that peanut butter fudge you
>can't ever have pizza again. :eek:

I agree with the others about doing the right thing and not ruining what you have with your BF. Oh, and I'd MUCH rather have pizza than peanut butter fudge. TeeHee!!! http://www.phpbbforfree.com/forums/images/smiles/lmao4.gif
 
Angie -- No, LOL!!! But I share your HT addiction. Those little red jewels ARE delicious!

And you can't have dragon breath, maybe just flaming cinnamon breath. :7

Marla
 
Not worth actually doing anything... That BF sounds incredible (well, as incredible as any man CAN be LOL). But, I say maybe do some fantasizing, and strut your stuff, you hot mama, you! I love eye candy, and I enjoy flirting, but my DH is the only one I actually touch...
 
>I'm not sure how having sex with a 24-y-o will confirm if her
>bf is or is not "the one." However, he might decide she's
>definitely not "the one."
>
>I cannot imagine staying with a SO who can't be faithful, let
>alone getting married to them.
>
>


http://www.phpbbforfree.com/forums/images/smiles/goodorbad.gif

....and how would she feel if her SO were thinking of doing the same thing with someone else. Ouch!

Laura, just take this as a huge compliment! It's so flattering isn't it? :7
 
Do you guys really believe there is such a thing as "the one?" I mean, the BF is absolutely incredible & I love the guy to death, but after one failed marriage I'm pretty cynical & I don't think "the one" exists.

And if he does, what if he lives in Russia? Or Greece? And we never meet anyway?

That said, OK I've been totally talked out of it by you guys, which I think is maybe what I was looking for.......and that point about seeing the kid in the gym after & it being awkward was something I hadn't even considered. Or even worse, what if the poor boy wanted more than something physical? LOL!

So I'll just enjoy the view & be completely flattered by the attention & just leave it at that. :)
 
>Do you guys really believe there is such a thing as "the
>one?" I mean, the BF is absolutely incredible & I love the
>guy to death, but after one failed marriage I'm pretty cynical
>& I don't think "the one" exists.


Laura (I think I'm just a year younger than you), I had a failed marriage before too. (11 year marriage) Believe me, I thought the same thing you did about not really believing "the one" existed even when I was dating my new DH.

It took me a while to believe in that again, and now I couldn't be happier. :)
 
What about a threesome? That would involve BF as well.

Some of you might think it's a whack-job idea, but I think it's prefereable to cheating on one's SO. And if it's not something that So would be into, that pretty much puts an end to it.
 
Good for you Laura! I like Dani's point in how would it feel if the table was turned. I would be absolutely heart broken. Of course, we're going on 10 years of marriage this Oct. and I know he's "the one".

Dallas
 
Uh uh, we're the same age, I saw your b'day. :)

Actually I think I'm maybe 6 mos older than you--I was born 3/68 & if I remember correctly you were born 8/68.

Well if there really is "the one" it would be this guy, in 2 years we have not had one cross word w/each other, which is SO different from my marriage. But I don't think I want to get married again. I like living alone & I like having my independence. Plus he lives 3 blocks away & works next door, that's enough for me.
 
Maximus --

Here is my advice, and I REALLY know what I'm talking about here -- so LISTEN UP! Under NO circumstances are you to get involved with trainer boy. Feel good about the attention and possibly flirt back -- but do not, I REPEAT, do not get involved! I thought you had a great boyfriend!!! Is something going on with that?

Anyway...I have been in your situation -- and trainer boy (ok...he was 27) turned out to be someone who broke my heart. Also, trainers are mostly poor. In my case, I ended up supporting the boy for a while until I got wise or, actually, started feeling like I was paying for it ;-)

Also -- not ALL trainers -- but a lot of them...are, let's say, a bit wild. Drugs are kinda common as is quite a few intimate partners.

But if he's really hot and you're not looking for a "relationship" ... then by all means, old lady :), get you some of that!

But that's just my opinion...I could totally be wrong. Let me know how it turns out!!!

Love ya LauraMax,
Shonie
 
Laura,
I guess you've sort of decided what to do but I thought I'd add some thoughts too...I guess I would look at it this way ... like others have said it is normal to feel attracted to other people. But when that is gone what is left? That attraction feeling only lasts for so long ... what counts is what that person is like through the good and bad etc... All relationships have ups and downs but it sounds like you are with a good guy. And if he's not the one then you can always agree to see other people etc... OK sorry if I've babbled too much!
Cath :)
**edit**
I realized that I didn't word this right ... I didn't mean the "attraction" goes away ... kinda hard to put into words ... sorry!
 
Shelley --

Nope...sometimes a little "wild" is a good thing. I was trying to say "scumbag losers who sleep around, take drugs, steal, lie, and cheat"...but it came out as "wild" :)

YOUR kind of "wild" is a good thing!!!!

Shonie
 
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