NEED ADVICE-SON'S WEIGHT

[bestican]

HELLO ALL! I need some advice....my son will turn 8 next month....he's gained about 7-8 # since last fall, and it really shows through his stomach and upper body....it is not muscle, I'm sad to report. How do I deal with this without setting him up for a lifetime of weight issues? He's very sedentary--had to force him to go for a walk with me this morning, and he's even said he's embarrassed by his weight gain. What do I do? We signed him up for karate, but they barely work up a sweat during their practices. He's not very atheletic... Do I take him to a doctor for a checkup? I have taken away the candy jar and bought him tootsie pops in place of the candy bars he was asking for....I have made excuses about not going to McDonald's for lunch.....I hate to even think about putting him on a diet, but....I don't want him to grow up being overweight....I was at least 20-30# overweight since puberty and I don't want him to have to grow up with the teasing that I endured as a child....ANY advice?

Thanks so much....

oh, he's a VERY picky eater--hates eggs(sorry Cathe!) and oatmeal....loves fruit AND plain,steamed BROCCOLI! Weird, I know, but I doubt I can feed him that at every meal!

thanks for any advice....
BestICan

 

[andtckrtoo]

At the age of 8 I'd be more worried about his own self image than 7-8 pounds of weight gain. My daughter always put on weight right before a growth spurt. She would chunk up, then grow an inch over night and slim down. I swear. I think the most important thing you can do right now is to not instill your fears of being overweight into him.

As for karate - as he advances in the belts,he'll get more of a workout. Do make sure he gets enough sessions in - most places will let you go 4-5 times a week. My daughter is 16 and a blue belt and she works up quite a sweat. She's also 5'5 and weighs 125 pounds and is in very good shape. I never pushed her. I simply led by example. Walks are boring for kids. Why not encourage him to work on his kicks with you? Or consider something like the WII and the sports package - you cannot be sedentary and play WII Sports. It's not possible. Ride your bike with him to go get a frozen yogurt or something. Or go to an aracade and challenge him to a game of Dance Dance Revolution. I think the key for kids is to make exercise fun.

 

[Davidj]

Liking what one eats and exercize...

Bestican,
I can't give you any advice on parenting, since I do not have kids, and I don't realize the difficult tasks involved.

I think that in order to lose weight, one must burn more calories than one takes in. There has been a large discussion of this on this website and elsewhere, but that is the basics. The hard part is how to go about doing this.

A couple of points though, that I learned in my lifestyle change towards good eating and exercize. And that is that one has to like the food one eats, and enjoy the exercize that one does. This rules out special "diets", and rules in permanent changes to what one eats. And as far as exercizing, one has to find sports that are reasonably strenuous, but that are enjoyable that your son wants to do it, such that that replaces at least some of his sedentary activity.

For me, I eat 7-8 servings fruits and vegitables each day, no red meat, low amounts of carbohytrates, etc. -- but I only eat food I enjoy. As far as exercizing, I enjoy strength videos immensely (especially Cathe's) and have built up a collection of easy-to-do step videos (for aerobics days). The one hour I put in each day doing these videos is the most pleasant time of my day.

So for your son, I would change his diet to healthy things that he likes, and find physical activity he likes. Find a different karate class if his class is not physical enough. I checked your own CatheSpace -- and you have a large list of Cathe videos. So you are a postitve role model for your son. On the CBC TV (in Canada), three years ago the network had a special on losing weight. Their star example was a 40ish mom -- with four sons aged 8 to 15. She was overweight, but took up good eating and aerobics/strength training. She became so good at it, she became a certified instructor. At one point, she could outrun all her overweight sons! They saw her as a role model, and began to lose weight and to become active themselves.

Does he like aerobics or strength training? Are there any such videos for kids? Find a sport he likes. Swimming is a great aerobic and strength pastime. Soccer? Squash? Both are extremely aerobic, yet fairly inexpensive. The key is to get him to break a sweat regularly, each day, and to eat lots of fruits and vegitables in place of fatty and carbohydrate foods. And keep him out of McDonalds and other fast food places.

This is all the advice I can give. I defer to others who have good stories of how their kids have lost weight.
-- David

 

[lala1]

ITA with andtckrtoo. My DDs went through the whole weight gain before growth spurt. I ignored it and they are fine. interesting, though, I don't remember that happening to my son, but I certainly think that it is a great possibility. I believe that at 8, focus on fun and not on weight. Is there a pool that he can go to by you and spend the day? Frisbee golf, tether ball. etc.

 

[PhyllisG]

I have 2 grown sons and thankfully weight gain has never been an issue. But I just want to say we never really had much junk food in the house. There was always lots of fruit, plain yogurt, and healthy cereals--no sugar. We never had soda in the fridge. I would buy cookies give each boy 2 and put the box away. I really never thought much about it. It is just the way we ate. MacDonald's was never even mentioned. My younger son, when he was about 8, pestered me to take him to MacDonald's so I did a few times. Now he asks me what were you crazy taking me there? When I tell him he asked to go he says you should have said no. Another suggestion is maybe getting him a Wii so he can play games at home. If he starts to eat better maybe he will feel better and become more physically active. Yes he might be gaining weight because he is going to have a growth spurt but irrespective of that he should be eating a healthy diet so he doesn't have weight problems when he is older. Also if he doesn't like what you are serving make sure there are healthy alternatives for him like a healthy cereal or fruit and yogurt--even some steamed broccoli if that is what he likes. I think the Wii games might be fun for him if he doesn't already have one.

 

[ripley33]

My son who is 15 now went through a somewhat chunky stage from about 8-10. I wasn't sure what was going on then he shot up to over 6 foot tall and 135 pounds. Now he is 6'3 and 160. I wouldn't worry too much he's most likely growing up before growing up which is what a lot of boys that age do. Whatever you do, don't give him a complex about it!!!
HTH,
Laura

 

[Havingfun]

weight

Hi,

My son was heavy at that age and I really blame my husband for encouraging eating fast food and supersizing meals. It continued until my son finally got tired of being heavy and did something about it. At 18, he put himself on a diet, mostly no fast food, no sodas, portion control, and lost 50 lbs. After he stayed at that weight for a while and he just recently lost another 15. I tried numerous ways to help him lose weight before he was 18, but he swears that weight loss will only occur when the person really decides that they don't want to be heavy anymore. He's pretty hard core about that belief.

Still, I felt bad about his weight, so if I was you, I would do something. I'd definitely cut out the fast food and sodas or drinks full of sugar. If you have to go out to lunch, go to subway or somewhere that you can get healthier food. (I know subway isn't great, but it's a start!) Use yourself as an excuse and say that you don't want to eat there anymore. I'd also get rid of the junk food in the house. Your son is still at an age where you can control some of his food intake without making it obvious. There are lots of ways to not feel cheated and still eat treats. Now is the time to do something before it gets any worse.

Tracy

 

[lkl]

can't give you advice, but wanted to let you know it could be he is going into a growth spurt. this happened with two of my nephews, they would eat like mad for a month or two, gain weight and then grow and slim down again.

 

[coloradomama]

consider something like the WII and the sports package - you cannot be sedentary and play WII Sports. It's not possible. Ride your bike with him to go get a frozen yogurt or something. Or go to an aracade and challenge him to a game of Dance Dance Revolution. I think the key for kids is to make exercise fun.

I absolutely agree with this. We have Wii sports, Wii fit, and Dance Dance Revolution (we have the Disney version) is a lot of fun and does actually work up a sweat! We have a large trampoline that DD likes to jump on (we have a net around it) and bike rides are a lot of fun. Sometimes we'll ride our bikes to Sonic and get a small ice cream cone. Round trip it's about 6 miles. Doing things that seem less like exercise and more like playtime is a good way to keep kids active and healthy.

 

[Sunshine1528]

Another who had one son that would chunk up, grow and thin out. I also saw in in many of their peers.

Can you give us an idea of what other foods he likes? Perhaps you can figure out some interesting ways to prepare healthier foods. Would he help you? That may encourage him also.

For exercise, how about hiking? I know my kids played soccer, baseball and basketball - none were really stellar, but at his age, it really doesn't matter. I would go play with them, chase them around, we'd run around bases, etc.

How about his friends? Does he have an opportunity to hook up with one of them that is more active and may help spur him on?

 

[JoanC]

From what I've seen most doctors don't put children on diets. BUT they should eat only the healthy calories for their age group. NO junk food. Instead of the doting Grandma, I'm the one to only have fruit, veg. and whole grains. Mom and Dad have fast food. Fortunately my grandaughter is very active. She was upset because I ate the last raspberries. There has got to be some health and filling foods he likes. Get rid of the junk and sodas from the house.

 

[Stephanie0523]

Hi. If your looking for a pastime that really is a great workout, try soccer. Our boys are in the Y soccer program, which is very non-competitive. Just fun. And it's great exercise because it's pretty much non-stop running.

 

[PhyllisG]

The Wii has been suggested and I love the idea of a trampoline. I watch my neighbor and her kids jumping on theirs and they look like they are having so much fun. I think both of these are great ideas especially if your boy is not enjoying sports. Plus the whole family can enjoy both and your son won't feel singled out.