Lowered sex drive....suggestions??

D

divagirl

Cathlete
I'm going to try to not be too long winded on this. I used to have a very high sex drive in my 20s but in my late 20s due to extreme levels of stress I had to go on an antidepressant which zapped my sex drive completely and made it painful as well. A while later I got off it but my sex drive NEVER came back like previously. Years later and now I am 32 and on another anti-depressant for anxiety but it didn't seem to affect my sex drive from the point it was at that time (although it was still not like in my 20s). I just hardly ever feel a strong desire or need for sex although I enjoy it once I'm doing it. I just most days can take it or leave it although I do miss how I felt in my 20s about it. I have a new boyfriend and feel like I should be all over him all the time but I don't even though I am crazy about him. Is this a common thing for women in their 30s? Do I just need to accept this as a part of life? Does anyone have any advice or suggestions?

divagirl
 
divagirl-

I thought for sure you were going to say you are on anti-depressants. But you're saying that you're not on anti-depressants and you're in your thirties and you have a low sex drive. I'm no doctor, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say it does sound unusual to me. I wish I could tell you to talk to your gyn, but in my experience they just don't care. If it's not a symtom of cancer, they're too busy to even take the time to talk to you if they're on an insurance plan.

Are you currently under a lot of stress? You may want to google "yuppie stress syndrome". It was a cover story in Newsweek or Time a few years ago, about young couples who are too burned out to care about sex. That's honestly all I can think of.

I hope you get some other responses. Good luck!\
-Nancy
 
I remember reading on another forum about a loss of libido in women who work out a lot. I remember the thread got pretty long, as more and more women of various ages expressed having the same problem. I'm not sure why this is, but I know you're not alone.
 
I could live the rest of my life without sex. I have felt this way since about 30. I think for some women, it is just natural.
 
A friend of mine had this issue and spoke with her doctor on her annual visit. They did some tests and it turned out she had low testosterone levels. Everyone is different but I think it would be helpful to discuss this with your doctor.
 
Actually I am on an anti-depressant now but what I meant was that at the time I started taking this new one which was years of being off all antidepressants I didn't notice a difference in my sex drive. However I was never the same after taking the one anti depressant years ago and the doctors swear that it wouldn't have had lasting effects after getting off it. I've gone through tests before and there was nothing wrong with my hormone levels and doctors always mention stress. But God, who doesn't have stress??
 
*pops in, looks around*

I have absolutely no business being in here.}(

Just wanted to say that I think a visit to the doctor is a good idea.
 
I'm with ya on the "could live the rest of my life without sex" part. It hit me at about 40 and I'm 46 now. Plus it does hurt. Don't know why, but it does.

:)Dianne
 
I'm with the other ladies that could do without it. I'm not on antidepressants and my horomones are good but I think I've gone downhill since I was 25 and I'm 46 now.
 
I agree with Beavs. I have had this problem and thought it was from being on the pill my whole life (I'm 45). Turns out, I was wrong. Blood tests show that it is from a low testosterone level. Only problem, they have to give you hormones to correct, which come with side affects, like increased hair growth on the face, deepening voice, and other male characteristics. I spoke with my husband, who has been naturally wondering what is wrong with me, and he told me to wait until the levels of stress in my life are lower before trying hormone replacement therapy. I am going to school full time as well as working full time, so my stress levels are pretty high right now. He said to wait until I graduate in the spring, give it a couple months after that, and then if I don't feel more sexy (for lack of a better phrase), then try the testosterone supplement.

He's a good man . . .

Try having your testosterone levels checked. My ob/gyn was absolutely sure that my levels would be normal, but she was wrong (and surprised).
 
It's so difficult to gauge what is a "normal" sex drive, how can you tell what's not normal?

I know mine is nada, but I know it's from the meds I'm being given. Poor DH.

Susan L.G.
 
I wanted to chime in and say that not everyone losses their drive as they get older. I am 42 and still going strong. I can honestly say I have better sex now than I did in my twenties. Some days I am tired and not as into it, and others I am ready to go! I also want to say that it's not a bad thing to think you would rather not indulge and be pleasantly surprised after a bit of foreplay to find your enjoying yourself. Think how much better you will rest after a love making session. That .... and they say it's great for your complection :)

Do see a doctor though. It could make a world of difference.
 
I just wanted to add that tests showed my testosterone to be on the very low side of normal, but my gyn would not approve hormones as long as my results were technically in the "normal" range. Let me tell ya, the "normal" range is vast, and it is no fun being on the low side. :(
-Nancy
 
I am 27 and I never really had a strong sex drive. I had a moderate one and when I was around 22 or so it just completly went away. I feel so bad for my husband because I never want it. At this age you would think I would want it. I am wondering though if it has to do with my bladder because I have had interstitial cystitis and urge incontinence for about 9 years now and it is hard to get in the mood when I have to constantly go to the bathroom so when I do have sex it has to be rushed or I will be in a lot of pain.
 
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