Lowered sex drive....suggestions??

My sex drive was extremely high until I started going through peri- menopause and went on low dose BC pills. My gyn prescribed testosterone and that helped a bit. At the low doses that are prescribed, side effects are very uncommon. I never experienced any negative effects that I know of.

I just switched to bio identical HRT therapy and my drive is normalizing. It's wonderful to feel like me again!
 
I too have a lower sex drive. I wont say I never want it but once a week is plenty for me. my husband is a sex maniac and is always bothering me for it. My gyn suggested some herbal supplements that his nurse even tried out and they helped her. I never did order them. I cant remember what they where called either. If I remember I will let ya know.
 
In my research on my cousin's blood disorder (Protein S Deficiency-she had two blood clots in her lungs as a result of using Depo-Provera) I came across to very valuable books related to this topic. Both by Dr. Susan Rako (an angel of women's health IMHO).
They are:
The Blessings of the Curse:
No More Periods?
Focusing on women's reproductive cycles and hormonal contraception.

"The Hormone of Desire:
The Truth About Testosterone, Sexuality, and Menopause"
Which is not only about menopause, but healthy hormones throughout a woman's life time.

There are also several herbs that can often have the same effects as the synthetic hormones without the associated negative side-effects.
I've read very positive things about Chasteberry (Vitex) and Red Clover Leaf as two herbs that can even stimulate your body to produce more balanced levels of its own hormones.

HTH:)
Mattea
 
Yeah, if we remember the name of the herbal supplement let me know too. I'm not saying I never want sex but my boyfriend can go everyday and I cannot keep up. I think I need to slow him down. 1-2 times a week is probably good for me.
 
sure , I will let ya know!! as for the guys, my mom said there was this stuff you could sprinkle on there food that lowered the mans sex drive,dont laugh but it is called salt peter. It makes it so there little johnson doesnt salute everytime the wind blows!!
 
Honestly, there is so much mis-information out there through advertising and media you would think all women want it 24 hours a day seven days a week.

You are not alone. Almost every woman over 25 has reduced sex drive. Sex hormones through the teens and early twenties contribute to the overwhelming feeling of wanting sex. Surprise, surprise those are keen child bearing years. Once you get to a certain age those hormone levels decrease.

There is nothing wrong with you! Perhaps added testosterone can help but who wants the beard? I guess there are trade-offs with everything:)
 
The only time I EVER EVER want sex is the few days surrounding ovulation. And it is just this little twinge of desire..if you blink you'll miss it, lol...I could go the rest of my life without it too. It just isn't a huge deal in my life. I think we have to make it a bigger deal for us just because the hubbies are breathin' down our necks everynight!! That said, I DO enjoy it once I get the fires a burnin'..

That said, I do dream about sex almost everynight now.. and actually can have orgasms in my sleep!!!:eek: Very strange. It is like my conscious side doesn't desire sex but my unconscious is saying, "Yeah, baby!" Hmmm.. Much to my husbands dismay.;-)
 
It's not that I'm not interested in sex because I don't like sex, it's just plain old painful. I've tried a couple of remedies suggested by my OB/GYN, but they caused intense burning.

I can't take hormones because of the breast cancer, I'm in forced menopause because of the cancer, I've got a mangled body because of the cancer - I've had it with the cancer! And painful sex is the final straw, but what can a person do???

You know, in addition to all those *other things* you can do...;):p

Susan L.G.

BTW, how do you know if you're having a real orgasm in your sleep, and not just dreaming your having an orgasm? Would it really matter?
 
I am not alone around here, I guess. I had a very high drive in my early 20s and now it is next to nothing. DH is somehow the same way. It's very depressing! I think it must be related to how hard we are both working, but it's still the kind of thing that instantly depresses me as soon as I think about it. ;(

Susan, you are too funny! I have to say, I don't think it would matter!!
 
Well, I can honestly say that I have Shelley's problem, and much to MY dismay my husband has yours ;( What a funny little world! :p

I can say that my sex drive was the lowest when I was on any kind of birth control. When I was on the pill, I could care less about sex. I have many friends whose sex drive has been affected - some have a higher drive, others lower - by antidepressants. I would call your doc, though it seems normal from other posters that your drive would drop as you got older - but if the drugs are affecting it I would still make an appointment to see if there isn't anything that you can do to offset them.

You know what I find so funny? I know SO MANY women, especially older, who could care less about sex, much more than I know women who are like me and there are all of these commercials for Viagra and Cialis where there are all these women who are now happy because their hubby no longer has ED. How many women are really singing praise to God because of this??? I think in most cases they were just fine before and probably much happier to not have to "perform". Can't men just take pills that make their ego feel better since that is pretty much what the drug is for anyways? :+ That isn't saying that I won't love it when I get older, but still....

Missy
 
Missy,
Despite everything you say, I would do anything to trade with you. It's not that I care for myself. If I were single, I would no doubt be enjoying this cooled down phase. But of all the things that have been stressing me out the past few years, nothing comes close to being in a marriage where libidos are at opposite ends of the spectrum. It is, in no uncertain terms, the most difficult problem I've ever dealt with in my life. I'm generally an excellent problem solver, but this one, frankly, has me over a barrel. I'm still fighting though, and won't give up until I win.
-Nancy
 
I was online lastnight and typed in herbal supplements for libido and horny goatweed is a herbal supplement a person can take for it. Never tried it and it wasnt the one my doctor suggested. but if you check online there was all kinds of them.
 
IMO a lot of this has to do with being in a long term relationship. After a while it's proven that you just don't feel it the same way you did when it was new and exciting. Men, I guess, just excite easier. My DH and I used to do it like rabbits, twice a day, everyday. That was ten years ago, now it's once a week if he's lucky. With three kids I just have a very hard time making that mental shift from Mom to sex pot. In a nut shell, it's pretty typical! Good luck though.

Sally;)
 
Well, I am with you Shelley and Missy - and Nancy I can tell you it ain't no fun when dh could care less! Can't get laid for anythingx( :( ;( BC pills affected me in the same way as you as well - I always joked that was how they were bc - you never wanted too.:eek: I hope you can find something to help you. Marnie
 
Good morning,

I think you can find some great solutions to what you are talking about here. Of course I am no doctor nor am I an expert, but I've done a tremendous amount of reading and research on these issues the past year. Early this year my sister went through post-partum depression pretty seriously. You might say, what does that have to do with anything. Well the more you research what post-partum depression is, you start to see that women and our bodies/hormones etc. need special attention and treatment that the general medical 'society' is not necessarily equipped to provide. I read a GREAT book by Diana Schwarzbain (actually she has several that are great) - I found out about her books as she was mentioned in Suzane Somers books on aging, bioidentical hormone replacement therapy, approaching menopause etc. Suzane Somers books if you have not read them are HIGHLY INFORMATIVE and while some of her theories (like on food combining) are NOT backed up by doctors/research etc. in this area of womens health they are.

**Bottom line, all this stuff is related; if you are losing sex drive, or gaining weight, or cannot lose weight or are depressed or menopause is just horrible ~ all of these are related to physical symptoms usually caused by our own actions of taking the advice of ill-advised doctors. I hope I'm not making this complicated. A person can become clinically depressed due to not sleeping, not eating, working out to much etc. You can get 'adrenal fatigue' also~ the problem is women have these symptoms and go to a doctor who prescribes anti-depressants which simply mask or address the SYMPTOMS instead of the cause and then these anti-depressants can introduce NEW issues like lack of sex drive or weight gain or insomnia; it is a never ending circle.

There are natural ways to combat all this ~ and again I would only be someone that could point you in directions to research this on your own and find a doctor knowledgeable in these areas that can help you. I also have discovered some simple natural hormonal replacement products that can make such big changes in your body....well it's exciting. I'd love for you to talk to a friend/colleague of mine who has used them and can tell you first hand.

Check out Suzane Somers new book called Ageless. I'm reading it right now. (FYI Tracie Long also has a pretty good wealth of information on this whole adrenal fatigue topic etc. that I refer to on her website, she is very big into natural womens health etc. and has an expert on her site) Diana Schwarzbain's books are highly informative.


You can email me directly at [email protected] if you'd like to talk more about what I've discovered or talk to my friend. There is a world of natural solutions for women out there that can literally change your life. I'm excited about reading all this stuff because I've been on the Pill for like 18 years and now that I understand what it does to your body....holy cow I cannot wait to get off it and be natural so my later years will be NICE not nasty!!

Hope this helps and isn't too confusing.
Kelly G
 
I don't have this problem. Opposite. I had a lower sex drive in my 20's. My kids were much smaller and needed me more. I didn't think about sex while listening to them fight with one another on ocassion and changing dirty diapers at other times. Stress probably played a role, like you said for yourself. I also worked in day care full time...how romantic is that? lol.

Charlotte~~
 
I find that if I am even the tiniest bit "overweight" it kills my sex drive. As soon as I lean back down I'm a raging maniac again. And I do take BC pills for perimenopause symptoms and an antidpressant - Lexapro. But really, as soon as I started taking Lexapro my sex drive came back like crazy. And it killed my appetite, so it's a double whammy!!}( Now I feel so much more laid back about life that I'm good with anywhere, anytime. Do you feel like you have some extra pounds to lose? That could be one possible solution. But I must add that I have had unusually enormous stress lately and sex has not been the first thing on my mind....
 
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