I do not want children!

[FourAM]

I love all the little cliches people say like " it's different whe they are yours" !
I think " I know because then I am responsible for that little thing"
I am really going to try to let this roll off my back but I think they are just really realizing that it is not in our cards. DH and have been together since he was 16 and I was 17, that's 15 years. Ten of those, married. Happily- I might add! You would think that that would be the thing that your parents would wish for you. Finding someone you love and can spend all the time in the world with and still love them! (we work together so we are together alot)
His mom is about to be divorced from her third husband and his dad can be so unbearable sometimes that I think he could never remarry.
Now why on earth do these two people think that they have any advice that we want to hear.?

On a lighter note ...We went to our nieces b-day last week and my SIL's sister was there and she is pregnant (unplanned but now wanted) But she was so funny Saying things like" you know how they say you glow during pregnancy...And I said yeah...She said they lied
This was very funny to me...My DH said finally someone speaks the truth.
Rachel

 

[beth6395]

You are not a horrible person at all. I have twin girls and a boy and a ton of people ask me "are they all yours" I originally wanted six , however I had terrible pregnancies and had my tubes tied after my son.

God gave us brains and most of us use them you know what is best for you.

Maybe some of these children that have been murdered through the years may still be here if they would have stopped at one or two or those that just had one maybe they wouldn't be sitting in prison if they had had none you understand, obviously nothing directed at you just making a point.

Why bring unnecessary pain to yourself to please someone else ecspecially when they are not taking them home. Parenting is a demanding job and it is 24/7.

Thumbs up to you hubby should flat out tell them to back off it is a decision both of you came to agree upon.

 

[ladysaraii]

His mom is about to be divorced from her third husband and his dad can be so unbearable sometimes that I think he could never remarry.
Now why on earth do these two people think that they have any advice that we want to hear.?

On a lighter note ...We went to our nieces b-day last week and my SIL's sister was there and she is pregnant (unplanned but now wanted) But she was so funny Saying things like" you know how they say you glow during pregnancy...And I said yeah...She said they lied
This was very funny to me...My DH said finally someone speaks the truth.
Rachel

That probably explains a lot about why she is so insistent. Wanting to transfer love to someone esp since her personal life isnt good. Some people believe that having a baby around solves everything.

And the SIL's sis was funny. My mother told me that God gives women amnesia so they can forget the pain of pregnancy and childbirth and have more. Sometimes I think He also gives the gift of extreme embellishment b/c for some reason women always seem to have wonderful painless births when there are trying to convince someone else to have a kid

 

[LaughingWater]

My sister loved being pregnant. She enjoyed the freedom to eat without being judged, and she liked the attention.

Her 3 children nearly sent her over the edge (she's still teetering, actually), but for those 9+ months, she was good!

 

[ASUDaizy]

Rachel, I am so glad I just came across this thread!!! DH and I don't want kids either.....and I'm so freaking sick and tired of everyone saying the same things to us....you'll change your mind....we want grandchildren....my mom even told us we were making God mad b/c he wants us to multiply and she can't believe I would deny her grandchildren!!! It's so exhausting....but we have about 3,000 reasons that it's just not for us....but none of those are something people will listen to us about and keep saying things....My mom even calls me selfish for it.....but I don't think it's selfish at all.....DH and I are perfectly happy with our 3 fur babies.....DH just wishes we could get a SSN for the doggies.....LOL!

Anyways, my point is, we're in this together! and nice to know I'm not the only one out there with this decision and dealing with crazy people!

 

[FourAM]

Sorry so long.

ASUDaizy,
And to all of those who responded.
It IS nice to see we are all not alone. I have several friends in their 30's, like me, who are not going to have kids...and all for different reasons.
My MIL asked " WHY?", bitterly I might add, and I was speechless for a moment. I do not know if it was the tone of her voice that surprised me (she seemed very angry) or the question altogether. I did not have an immediate answer because I honestly never gave it much thought other than the fact that I knew I did not want any and that DH felt the same way.
I never babysat growing up and did not ever want to hold the new baby in the family...so I did not have an answer. Now that I reflect on our conversation I don't think she deserved an explanation to why my mind is wired differently than hers and why kids are not on my radar.
I mean with all of her faulty parenting, and bad decisions that she made while raising DH and his brother, I never asked her why she had them! I am not saying that she was not a good parent altogether but she did make some bad decisions. She still loves her sons and did the best that she could. But someone who was just on the outside looking in might question why she had children sometimes.
I think ,for those of us that know we do not want or can not fulfill the needs of a child in every possible way, it is a wise decision to leave the child bearing to those that do and can. I have the utmost respect for those people and I would hope that they (meaning mainly my inlaws) would feel the same way about me.
Rachel

 

[Beavs]

I always wonder why people like this don't find other ways to connect with kids, such as volunteering at schools.You don't have to be a parent/grandparent to share a connection with a child. I think many people get so caught up in trying to defy mortality by passing on their DNA at the expense of relationships with others that they forget about the real reasons kids (especially when they are someone else's ) are pretty cool.