Hi all,
I wanted to give you a quick catch up on what's going on. This is mainly a vent, so please feel free to skip it and just be assured I have not broken anything, gotten sick, or had anything bad happen to the four legged kids
STRESS VENTING STARTS ...
Shortly after my last post, that weekend home, we had a strange call and then a visit from the 17 year old girl Clara who watches our horses, dogs, etc when we are out. She's been very responsible and all the kids are in good shape after her time here. Turns out her parents (read: dad, with mom not having the guts to stand up for her kids) had given her an ultimatum a few days ago: she had to move out in ten days. No appeal.
Now, this behavior is illegal in our state. There are no provisions for emancipation of minors, and parents are subject to imprisonment if they abandon their minor children. Turns out her older sister (not a minor) and her oldest sister (ditto) were also told to leave. There are brothers in the home, including a four year old, and Clara does not want her parents to go to jail and have the youngest sib end up in foster care. This is a really rotten family situation in some ways, and yet a very postive one in others - not to bore you with background but there was sexual abuse of the daughter when she was about 7, apparently by a family member such as an uncle or cousin - and the whole family continues to reel from ramifications. Kids have all had much time and energy invested in them, much education and many special things such as ponies and such as youngsters, yet there was a tremendous rigidity applied to the daughters. The father's side is heavily tied to enforcing traditional female roles. Much more to it than that but it isn't mine to tell, many old wounds .... Last time Clara was thrown out she was fourteen, and slept on park benches. According to her. And I believe her, I think.
But there we were last weekend, with a scared youngster who comes up to about my shoulder trying to be brave and ask if she could stay with us for eight months until she finishes high school. She'd enquired about options for taking more classes, had a plan, and so on. We asked her to come back the next day, talked it over, and decided we would attempt a trial period of a month to see if (a) things would blow over, (b) verify what is really going on, (c) establish some legal footing and etceteras - I don't trust this family not be setting us up to be honest, and so on. We have been speaking to law enforcement and other types of areas carefully. Got the spare room cleared of stored things. And now I will whimper a little ... WHINE STARTING I had to go to DC on Monday for an intense series of bizdev for the week, at a delicate time in our company's planning cycle, and normally I am working 90 hours a week about now with no travel. Those tasks still have to get done. And we had to get the hay in right now, since that is when it has ripened and the weather permits. And all there are numerous little things I have to do with this political office - there aren't too many associated responsibilities, but there are some, and it adds up to almost half a day a week. I have yet to finish off the root canal escapade because the new cap had not arrived before the trip to DC. And turns out I have to finalize some bits and pieces for my five-year clearance review. At home, we had launched on setting up a trust tied to our wills - my husband wants to do this now, and since I have been bugging him, I'm really happy and that is in progress - but it is a little scary since naturally visiting a trust means thinking about each other dying
All in all, this has been very chaotic, high drama, and intense period on all fronts. WHINE OFF
I returned at midnight Friday, Clara moved in by noon yesterday, and the hay is stacked in the barn now, and the half we aren't using has been sold and hauled off. So, success?
I am doing my best and trying to be safe, proactive, empathetic, and not a sucker, yet not kicking a person I think is a good kid while she's down. My DH is, I worry, beginning to think of her as a daughter. She is not a daughter, but a person in need we are intending to help. A key distinction.
This is why I am not posting much. I *am* working out regularly, and doing my best to keep my energy up through postive thinking, cutting down worry, sleeping, eating well and trying not to eat too much comfort food - and just generally forging on with a positive hopeful attitude as best I can, arranging as much as possible, and trying not to feel bad about what I'm allowing to slip or do less well than usual. Yesterday was Muscle Max, from start to finish, except for the core part that hurts my back! What was pretty neat is that I was able to use my barbell and new 'manta' shoulder protector, loaded at 45, for the squats and lunges. That is only a tiny fraction of my 1RM, but there are no breaks, so it wasn't too bad. Could have gone heavier on squats, was about right for lunges. Exceeded Cathe's choices on every weight, which was a good feeling! Of course, she is talking and couldn't go all out.
I miss participating in our regular check ins here and really will need them to stay on track. I will continue to be on as often as I can. I have glanced at you a time or two; it helps me feel grounded
PS Honestly, I don't think it is safe for me to take vacations!!! On the other hand - perhaps this is my time to become more involved in the non-business side of life ... to contribute something other than my technical skills to community and society? To handle new challenges? I don't quite know. But please pray me this prayer if you will- the power and courage to successfuly change what I can, the humility that will enable me to accept that there will be things I cannot change and must let go, and most especially, wisdom enough to discern which is which - and act accordingly.
