Are you secretive?

Thanks for the great replies ladies!!! I knew I could count on you guys to make me feel better about this issue. At the risk of sounding too sentimental, I must tell you all that it has been SOOO great to have all of you to talk to about this stuff. We may have small disagreements here and there but I want you all to know that I really do respect all of your opinions and thoughts! It's really comforting to know that I can come here and vent, learn stuff, and get to know people all at once!
And thank you for your support (tee-hee;-) ;-))
Carolyn
 
That is so me. And un-fortunately, I have an over abundance in the ability to hit where it hurts and smile at your while I'm saying it. x(

I keep a log of when I do this and do try to apologize to the person when I've cooled down. I do have a mental note in the back of my head to apologize to her, but that note is way, way, way back in my head.

Isn't it funny that if you are talking about a bad relationship, finance problems, or anything negative, you have a captive audience, but if it is something positive, all you have is a bunch of folks with glazed over eyes. I guess misery really does love company. ;(
 
I don't say anything either. If someone asks, I will tell them in a very short version but I don't elaborate unless I am asked probing questions by someone who I can tell is sincerely interested.
 
I don't keep it a secret but not everyone I know underdtands why I work out the way I do and the amount of time I put into it. Some people I know actually respect me for it though.

Terri
 
>"Obsessed" is a term lazy people use to describe DEDICATED.

Great quote!
Maybe we could make "business cards" with this saying on and pass them out to people who make remarks?}(
 
Am I secretive? Well, if I tell you the answer, I'll have to kill you. :7 This message will self-destruct in 10 seconds.....9, 8, 7.....
 
Carolyn,

I can completely relate. Tell someone on a bus or plane your a personal trainer or teach fitness classes, and I if tell them I'm from Mars. They'd treat me about the same way in either case. Oh you're weird, you like to exercise and eat healthy. Or the famous have you ever tried a cheeseburger? Like that's going to make me want to stop exercising and eating healthy or something. The other type, they decide to try to become my best friend and want to know why they have this or that, and why everything on their body hurts, and then want to show me where it hurts. They seem to think I’ll have a cure for them that their doctor hasn’t told them about. And when the subject turns to exercise they are, all done talking to me. Which is something I’ll usually do, when they start wanting to show me stuff on their body.

But in general, most of my friends know, my co-works all know of course. My parents are just happy I’m up walking and enjoying my life they could care less. Unless they want advice, then they ignore everything I tell them. Or my mother’s famous word: Maybe. When she gets an answer she doesn’t like, she follows it up with maybe, so she doesn’t have to believe anything I just told her.

Kit
 
I have always liked to share with others my experiences or anything I learn. It's my nature. When it comes to fitness, I have also been voluntarily open to share my knowledge, workouts, and eating habits. However, ALMOST NO ONE SEEMS TO BE INTERESTED!

Some people ask me what I am doing to lose weight, but when I tell them, they get distracted, change the subject, or simply show no interest. I feel so tempted to say: "Hey, you moron, get back to Earth. If you don't want to know why did you ask in the first place?"
But I guess I'm too nice to say that...one of these days, perhaps.

Also, I get the "You are not fat." comment often. I hate that some people want me to pig just because I am not fat. I also get the "Please don't get too muscular like a man." comment. Also, there is a b@tch that needs to get a life, and she has implied that she sees my eating and training efforts as a "pathetic attempt to fight aging or to keep myself looking good." Well, I see her as a pathetic fat @ss who is missing too many benefits. I sincerely wish she can "get it" some day. But for now I 'll keep my mouth shut unless someone is really interested and willing to do what it takes to be fit.
 
Kit-
I've got a mom like that too! Except she doesn't say "maybe" she just doesn't do what I tell her to do in response to her questions of me. She pays $225 for 5-week sessions of a group exercise, then doesn't go for maybe 3 weeks of it and complains about how she doesn't push herself enough- she's just a different creature than I am!

In general, I just keep it to myself. I'm not keeping it a secret, but nobody really seems to care. I hide behind my diabetes a lot, telling people I "only get one body and I need to take care of it because I'm already one organ down" or something like that. They immediately back off.

In general, I think my family and friends respect that I exercise 6 days a week for an hour, and only that because I run out of time. I think a large part of their being impressed was that I said I'd do it, and then I did. I don't expect they think they can do the same. I think they've all written themselves off, which is kind of sad.

I only tell people what I already do, not any goals though. The goals seem to be a little too much, LOL. My DH knows about everything, but he doesn't do anything for himself and his body, which started to be an issue a few years ago and then he started taking a multivitamin every day. I thought that was nice. I guess some people can only do so much.

Interesting thread! And, if it hasn't been said lately, I love you guys and this forum! Thanks for being here.
 
Its not that I'm secretive but I don't advertise..... similar to the way that I don't advertise about other aspects of my life. People don't like philosophies (religion, politics, lifestyle etc) and other things (how bad your day was) thrown at them. Its different if they ask and then you have to determine how much they really want to know. I have had people at work and others I know ask me what I do to keep in shape, how I can eat so much and stay thin and then I tell them but I keep it very brief to keep from sounding like I am proselytizing or giving them more info than they really want. If they are really interested, they will ask for more details.I have had no problems from those people that ask and a few of them have asked for more info, borrowed workouts and have even come to this site or other sites I have recommended.
As far as for those I don't know such as those I meet at meetings or on planes etc...conversation is usually only meant for politeness sake or as a tension breaker...people don't really want details of your life etc. and I keep my conversations brief and without much detail. If they ask about what I do for examle...I get vacant looks too if I go into any detail at all so I keep my answers to a sentence or two unless I get asked for more detail. My family too knows about my exercise but I don't go into much detail with them either.
 
Wow, these posts are realy surprising too me. I'm fortunate to work in environment where all the executives are Ironman participants. They encourage employees to join one of three local gyms and they pay for half. When I go to the gym at lunch, I'm surrounded by the company's president, the CFO and a whole pile of co-workers.

At home, I've a weightlifting fiend of a husband, so I get full appreciation there, my brother is all about health and fitness and my sister is a certified yoga instructor and is a vegitarian (you never know what sort of "clensing" food you'll get for dinner at her house!), so I'm surrounded by fitness "freaks".

I thought my fitness environment was pretty typical. I didn't realize how lucky I was. I'm bummed for you guys who get negative reactions; what a shame. Do what you have to make yourself comfortable around your peers, but don't let it affect you life choices.

Shelbygirl
 
This is a great thread!

I don't keep it secret but then I know I have to realize that others are going to comment. I have had people - especially other women - feel free to opine on

- the fact that I get up early to workout ("that's INSANITY! I would NEVER do that!" Well, of course you wouldn't but judging from the size of your behind you wouldn't do it at noon or 6pm either, so shut up!)
- the fact that I lift ("Why do you lift weights! Men don't like "girls" with big muscles!" Have you met my extremely supportive DH?)
- the fact that I am committed to healthy eating ("Oh that's not me. I'm all about doughnuts." Obviously.)
- the fact that instead of sitting on my ass during lunch hour I would go for a walk.
- the fact that I *must* feel like I am *better* than the rest of them (why? because I work out?! These people kill me; if they knew how little I thought about them, one way or another, their self-absorbes selves would be shocked!).

I have never understand the need to comment on another's life, unless asked. I was SOOOO annoyed the other day at the beach, I was eating a chicken breast sandwhich with the roll removed, cause I am trying to avoid wheat, and this lady came by and commented "oh another atkin's person!" I wanted to smack her because I don't believe in diets of any sort. It's even worse now that I have given up alcohol...people assume that I quit because I must "have a little problem." Sheesh.

Sparrow






___________________
www.scifichics.com
 
Shelbygirls' post prompted me to add that in my work and living communities, it is typical to workout hard and so those that workout aren't treated as freaks. I know several marathoners and work with colleagues whose SOs run marathons. Until recently we had working for us a young woman who was a Parkette and placed in the Nationals for Gymnastics. She finds time to workout and train kids and maintain her career. Our CFO typically finds an hour a day to go out for a run and has gym equipment tucked away in an unused office. Other people at work obviuosly lift and its not unusual to see large cannisters of protein mix sitting on people's desks. Where I am, it is more the norm to work out. I think I might feel out of place if I didn't work out.
 
I was thinking about this thread, all proud of myself that I don't have to hide my fitness filled life style. Then I thought to myself, I too hide it at times. Just yesterday, an old high school friend of mine invited me to join a bunch of other old high schoolers for pizza and beer next Monday night. Rather than tell her the truth, which was that I don't want pizza and beer (that's a weekend only, once in a while, sort of treat) and if I go out on a Monday, I'll never get up for my 4:30 a.m. Tuesday morning workout, I just told her that it was too short notice and that I had a prior commitment. So, I guess I can also be a little secretive about it.

Apparently, I am only open about it with the people I see regularly, but keep it to myself around the people I only see occasionally.

Shelbygirl
 
>Just yesterday, an
>old high school friend of mine invited me to join a bunch of
>other old high schoolers for pizza and beer next Monday night.
>Rather than tell her the truth, which was that I don't want
>pizza and beer (that's a weekend only, once in a while, sort
>of treat) and if I go out on a Monday, I'll never get up for
>my 4:30 a.m. Tuesday morning workout,


Wow, Shelby, I do the same thing. There are a bunch of people at the office who regularly go out for drinks after work for various reasons. I never go and always say I have a prior commitment. I don't want to drink or waste the evening if I have a workout scheduled after work.. Even if I don't have a workout scheduled for that night, I don't want to be out late on a weekday because it will affect my workout the next day.

Same group of people go to lunch regularly and I never go. As it is, I am something of a freak in the office because I actually bring my own food every day and never buy lunch.

Cathy--what kind of industry/community are you in? I'm jealous! We get discounts on a local gym, but hardly anyone goes, though I hear them talking about trying to go all the time. To paraphrase Yoda, there is no try, only do. :)
 
Actually, I'm pretty in-your-face about my exercise habits. "Diet" (something I don't do at all) and diet-talk bores me to tears so I don't let myself get involved in any dialog on the subject, including here on the Cathe forums. But in my daily life I talk all I want to about the aqua classes I teach, my home workouts, my work-day power walks and weight lifting. I don't care anymore about the glazed-eyed looks. Exercising vigorously (and with resoundly good and visible results) is part of who I am, and I don't give a damn what others think of me.

It amazes me, however, that I'm the one who's considered a "nut", given that I've found an eminently cost-effective solution to the myriad problems brought on by long-term sedentary living; i.e. just NOT to be sedentary, and to value challenging physical activity. I guess most of the rest of the world would rather spend all its collective time and money on doctor's visits and pharmaceuticals.

A-Jock
 
I'm lucky that my teen ds is as into fitness as me. We talk about everything together. He uses Cathe for ab work and my spinervals.It's great!

I am however, VERY secretive about how much $ I spend on workouts and equipment!! Very, very secretive....Marnie
 
If I'm secretive at all, it's because the people I know, especially my immediate family, don't think of my gym and Cathe stuff as "athletics".

Most of the people I know are very serious about their tennis-playing and their squash games and their skiing and other "real" sports. My family tends to make fun of me because I'm such a "wuss" in their eyes.

They also look down at me because I don't run and they think that walking on the treadmill isn't "real" exercise. Come to think of it, there are a number of people on this board who don't understand it either.

I'm in it for the long term. I want to grow old gracefully, not with bad knees and injury issues. I shy away from pounding exercises. I want to feel great and be independent for as long as I'm alive. So far, I'm proud to say that I'm one of the few people I know who has never had a sports injury. And I'm looking and feeling better than a lot of people of my age. She who laughs last laughs best. :p :p :p :p So there. }(
 
I have learned to not "offer" information about diet or exercise. If the topic comes up, I'll add my opinion and at that, I keep it brief. My family and close friends know that I'm a fitness fanatic, and most people can tell by looking at me that I'm into keeping myself in shape, but when someone says, "What do you do to keep yourself looking like that?" I usually say, "Too much," and no one asks any further questions!
 
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