My condolescences of the loss of your companion, the disappointing workshop and the forgotten birthday. Sometimes we get discouraged when people don't behave the way we'd like and it's worse when we suffer the loss of a companion that gave unconditional love.
On the brighter side, I have benefited from your contributions on these forums and very much appreciate your input and expertise. I mostly lurk here and therefore don't think of fellow Catheites as "friends" per se, BUT, that doesn't mean I don't care (or anyone else for that matter). Through my lurking I believe the majority of the people on the Cathe forums care very much as evidenced by the outpouring of heartfelt sentiments to your post.
I'll echo what many have already said. Be kind and gentle to yourself at this time of loss and disappointment and in due time, celebrate the half-century mark. You are appreciated and a valued member of this cyber-community! Take care, Deb