thoughts on the end of life

morningstar

morningstar

Cathlete
With my grandmother dying this morning at the age of 100, a lot of things crossed my mind:

  • In my own life, am I doing everything I can do to get everything I can out of the life I have left? She left nothing on the table - she had an exciting life filled with vast accomplishment, love affairs, lifetime loving partnership with my grandfather (after the affairs!), children, travel. She sucked the marrow out of the bone of life, making sure she got it all. Am I doing the same?


  • My g'ma didn't exercise, didn't really care about watching her nutrition, had a sweet tooth and took the occasional drink. Now, she didn't smoke, but really, she just lived her life and didn't worry too much about her health. Out of all of the million ways someone can die, she avoided them all for 100 years. Is all my exercise and care about the food I eat going to matter at all, or will it just be a matter of luck and my genes?


  • Am I living a life that will lead to being as beloved as she was when it is my time to go? Could I be kinder, more interesting, more fun, more empathic, more loving? Will people care when I go, and if not, can I try to be a person that they would care more about? How can I make sure that people are emotionally devastated for life by my passing? :)
 
I'm so sorry for your loss. She sounds like she led a very full life!

Arwen, I'm sure you are doing just fine. :D (HUGS) to you.
 
I'm sorry for your loss. Your Grandmother sounds like a wonderful person.

arwenlong said:
[*]My g'ma didn't exercise, didn't really care about watching her nutrition, had a sweet tooth and took the occasional drink. Now, she didn't smoke, but really, she just lived her life and didn't worry too much about her health. Out of all of the million ways someone can die, she avoided them all for 100 years. Is all my exercise and care about the food I eat going to matter at all, or will it just be a matter of luck and my genes?
Click to expand...

I have a lot of longevity in my family. I look at it this way. I have good genes for getting there, but eating healthy and exercising can keep me on my feet and on my own for longer. I plan to be old, active and healthy.

Your post is a good reminder of why we should enjoy each day and let go of those things that in the big picture are tiny and insignificant.
 
arwenlong said:
She sucked the marrow out of the bone of life, making sure she got it all. Am I doing the same?

Is all my exercise and care about the food I eat going to matter at all, or will it just be a matter of luck and my genes?

Could I be kinder, more interesting, more fun, more empathic, more loving?
Click to expand...

I'm sorry to hear of your grandma's passing. Safe journey to her. <3

I find moments like these bittersweet. On one hand, it's a time of loss, which is never fun. On the other hand, it's exactly these kinds of experiences that push us to reflect and prioritize. The little daily worries get pushed aside, and your mind becomes uncharacteristically clear.

1. I think we get out of life what we put into it, and that doesn't necessarily mean "stuff" and accomplishments. Sometimes it means having the right attitude, no matter what you're doing, no matter where you are. Are you happy? Are you grateful? Are you at peace? If so, then you're getting everything you can out of life, whether you're skydiving or reading a book.

2. I see exercise as a way to help you live your life now, with the bonus being a stronger, healthier you when you're in your 70s.

3. Everyone can be kinder, more empathetic, and more loving. :) That makes everyone happy.

Cool thread. I think about life and its trials and tribulations, its changes and its lessons a lot (I'm weird like that), so it's nice to chat about it a little.
 
Last edited:
My heart goes out to you. I was very close to both of my grandmothers. One died when I was a senior in high school - she died of cancer. Her funeral was in a funeral home, stuffed and overflowing with people who loved her. She honestly never said an unkind word about anyone. However, I never felt like she truly lived life once she got married. Not that she was terribly unhappy, but just did not do much for herself - not like she did when she was young. My other grandmother passed just a few years ago. She always liked to have fun in life and we were like best friends. Her funeral was outdoors and rather than have a formal service, we remembered her...it was wonderful. Each of my grandmothers lived their lives differently but were deeply loved by many. They were great role models to me - I completely understand what you are going through, and the questions you ask are the very same ones I ask myself often. It is important to never stop asking those questions - we only go around once in this life and we may as well make the most of it. Hugs to you.
 
So sorry to hear about your grandmother...but it's wonderful that her life has brought you joy and thoughts about how you WANT to live YOUR life. Having been blessed with two great grandmothers who lived to be older than 95 (despite diets so full of lard it makes me ill), I always laughingly tease my DH that he's stuck with me for a long time (God willing). However, as anyone reflects on the passing of a loved one...it's important to remember that the quality of life is what matters, not the quantity. Having a long life of nothing special may not be as meaningful as a vibrant colorful life that was lived to the fullest.
Prayers and hugs
julie
 
I think doing what you can to continually learn and improve yourself is a good strategy. There will always be things you would LIKE to do, but can't actually get to do. Climb Kilimanjaro, for instance...fly a plane, date Will Smith...

I like to improve where I can (exercise, tkd classes, piano lessons, reading, learning new things at work), and enjoy what I have. I try to be a caring person without letting others take advantage of my soft heart.

As far as nutrition and exercise, they may or may not prolong your life, but they will help the quality of the life you have. Think of how much better, prouder, and more energetic you feel when you're in shape. That's what it's about. At least to me.

Good for Grandma! Bet she was a joy to be near.
 
My g'ma was a writer, and I just saw a biography of a famous Canadian magazine editor, who was a family friend, and they showed some of my g'ma's articles! I still wear my g'ma's Burberry coat and think of her everytime I do.
 
I'm so sorry for your loss Morningstar! My condolences to you and your family. Your grandmother, from your description, was an amazing and strong woman who knew what it was all about!

From the little I know of you, I see every bit of her in you! You aren't afraid to take chances, try new things, live life to the fullest! All we can do is what we think will keep us healthy and going as long as possible and the rest is up to genetics and the powers that drive the Universe! However, we can't just sit back and watch it happen! We have an active role in what turns our lives take and if we just sit back and wait for it to happen TO us, it never will!

Do not doubt yourself and how you are living your life! Just ask yourself - Am I doing ALL that I really WANT to do in my lifetime? The answer to that question is all that matters!

Go for all you wish for and that you wish to be and remember to find joy in all the little beauties of each and every day!
 
Morningstar, I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like your grandma was a very special lady. I never got to know any of my grandparents, so I envy you for having known her for as long as you did. I'm sure you will cherish your moments with her forever. My condolences to you and your family.

This is a great thread, which reminds us to be kind to each other and live life to its fullest. Lately I've tried to adopt the "don't sweat the small stuff" attitude, and it's really making me happier and less stressed. This life we've got here is all we've got, so no matter what we choose to do, if we don't have some happiness in our lives, we're just existing.

Take care all...
 
Oh, i'm so sorry for your loss.

This makes me think of my grandmother who is still alive and very well at almost 90, despite her smoking habit.

Then there is my dear, beloved uncle who was just diagnoses with cancer at 64 - a Boston Marathon qualifier, runs 2 marthons a year, volunteers as a running coach...he's touched so many lives....

This thread has gotten me to look at and re-examine my life a bit.

Thank you!
 
Morningstar - I'm so sorry for your loss. Your grandmother sounded like a wonderful person. Sending lots of cyber ((((((((hugs))))))) to you.

Thank you for posting such a thought provoking thread! I always said up to age 50 was just the "first act' in my life so I'm due to enter my "second act" in 3 years. You've given me a lot to consider as I make my goals for the next 50 years. :)
 
I sorry to hear that your grandmother passed and it sounds like she enjoyed life! I know that eating healthy will help to lengthen your life but I was told that EXCERSING doesn't let you live longer...BUT BETTER. As long as you're happy with what you've done and what you want to do and strive to achieve them the best you can, you can be just as happy! everyone's definition of happiness is different...just as long as you ARE! hehe!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Our Newsletter

Get awesome content delivered straight to your inbox.

Top