Thinking about loosening up (long)

Sounds like we're in a very similar place, Nancy. And I don't just mean New York City. :) My DH bugs me about it too. He is always trying to tempt me to eat more of the things I'm afraid to eat. He keeps telling me I don't get enough fat in my diet. My mother is the same way. She has bugged me to eat more fat all my life.

This Thanksgiving I think I really surprised her. She always makes this cole slaw from an old family recipe which is one of my favorite dishes of all time. I usually take just a taste and won't eat anymore because it has some mayo in it (not much though, as my Mom keeps reminding me). This year she was packing up goodies for my DH and I asked her if I could have some of the cole slaw to take home. She gave me the whole container! I really think I shocked her. But I love my Mom's cole slaw and it's time I started to allow myself to enjoy it. So you see, it's more than just a thought, it really is starting already.
 
I beleive you. When we are younger,for most people, we are lacking in confidence.I know I am. It has to get better right? But you can full most people into thinking you are confident.I have done that also:) Should have been an actress!
Lori:)
 
Marsha-
50 is the new 30? LOL. Well, I definitely like that.

Thanks for the story about your father. I am so sorry that you lost him at such a young age. I lost my Dad last year too, and I think it really is contributing to my new attitude substantially. My Dad was a young, healthy, vibrant 72-yr. old whose doctor said he had the heart of a 25-yr. old when the pancreatic cancer hit. My Mom was just starting to convince him to think about retiring so they could start to have some fun together. It really gives you pause.
 
Yes, we are in a similar place. DH often tells me and the girls to "lighten up". I guess I'm uptight about alot of areas in my life. I guess I've taught my daughters to be "perfectionists", or at least try to be, most of their lives too. We have a hard time laughing at ourselves, according to my husband.

So, we went to dinner and, even with the thought of "loosening" up I ordered a cold seafood salad....it was delicious but I probably should have ordered the superb steak my husband was eating. I did taste it but I really did enjoy the salad. ???? I'm comfortably full right now instead of feeling "disgusting", which is how I feel when I don't eat well.

I love coleslaw also and really appreciate a good recipe. However, I don't allow myself to indulge too often.

I remember a few years ago I lost some weight, down to 108 lbs, and people/coworkers were asking me if I felt ok. No one realized it was the weight loss....my face was drawn. I was married at 107 lbs. but now that weight was too low for me. I'm now about 117, and although my weight loss trackers says I need to lose another 8 lbs, I think it's unreasonable now.
 
So sad about your Dad. I lost my father to cancer when he was just 52. He definitely was my best friend. That was many moons ago....I still miss him.
 
Nancy, I'm 117 too. Or at least I was about 2 weeks ago when I weighed myself at the gym. Why in the world do you have that weight tracker thingie? I saw your picture, and if it's at all recent, you don't have an ounce to lose.

I haven't eaten red meat in about 25 years, and I really don't crave it at all. But if that steak looks good to you, I mean really good to you, why don't you order it? That's how I felt about the cole slaw.

I think it's going to be a long, slow process for me. But I refuse to leave this earth with my music still in me. I want to take the time to enjoy things. I want to start to learn to cook and not be afraid of it. My Mom is a phenomenal cook, and she is super health conscious and cuts the fat and eliminates the sugar in all her recipes. Yes, she's a little heavier than I am, but she's in great health and she takes great care of herself, and still enjoys her food. Why can't I be more like that? I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.....

Baby steps.
 
Oh, Nancy. That is just tragic. I am so sorry about your father. You're reminding me of another thing that gave me perspective. When my Dad got sick, I joined a forum for caregivers of people with pancreatic cancer. I was absolutely shocked to find that my Dad was one of the oldest with the disease. I could NOT believe how many people in their forties and fifties were dying of pancreatic cancer.

I don't really mean to go the morbid route here. I guess my point is that we should enjoy life while we can.
 
I don't know how tall you are - I'm 5 feet, the end. All of my life I wanted to be taller. I think the "charts" say I should weigh less too.

Well...I've always been fat, my whole life. Even at 107, I felt overweight. I probably look exactly as I look in those pictures from this past summer but still feel fat. Ingrained..............for whatever reason. I'll blame my mom. She always "reminded" me that I was eating too much. Never said a word to my brother....he's obese today. Not morbidly, just very overweight.

I love to cook (well...I don't love it, but it was something I had to do with three children) but find I always am preparing basically the same things in different proportions. It's hard to cook healthfully and be creative too, IMO, and keep everyone happy. I used to be able to throw hamburgers, steak, and such on the grill as the kids were growing up...I haven't been able to do that in years.

I think I've seen in some of these threads that maybe we're really not very happy people because we're always trying to strive for something better physically (does it go hand in hand with striving for mental health?). Just an idea........ x(
 
Nancy the Elder? lol ok stop it! haha.

I may be in the minority here, but I think you should do whatever it takes to stay in your ideal weight. I know, I know...you're tired of doing it and you want to loosen up, but trust me, this is coming from someone who has been in the "I should loosen up a bit" state of mind a couple of times and every time I do it and I gain weight, not only I feel worse about myself, but my immune system changes too and I get sick easily. Don't think about doing it for your size, or your clients, think about your health. If you enjoy good food and wine (and who doesn't?!) I think you can still eat and drink in moderation. You should never forget about exercise either. I honestly think that you should try a couple of new things so you don't get bored. If you've been doing this for 20+ years it's already programmed in your brain to eat a certain way, to exercise a couple of times per week, etc. Why would you want to change that? Do you know how hard it is to keep doing that for more than 20 years? Why destroy what you've accomplished so far? I know life is too short and uncertain, but you can still enjoy life doing what you've done until now. I'd rather enjoy my life being healthy (although it is hard work) than going back to being sluggish, tired and out of breath just because I decided to enjoy the pleasures of life way too much. If you feel you need to take a break for a week or too, do it, but come back to your healthy lifestyle, it's better for your cardiovascular health and your health in general. Stay strong!
 
I agree with Rose, and you KNOW I'm an elder also! It sounds like you're loosening up anyhow with the coleslaw story. So, eat the cole slaw, but DON'T let yourself loosen up so much that you start to gain a lot of weight! Could you incorporate a weekly pig-out day without guilt?
Just Do It! :)
 
Sorry disagree with the last 2 posts.
Nancy I totally agree with you about loosening up. It is so much more a state of mind than loosening up. It's not like you are going to balloon into a huge person.

I also think a lot of it is going with our gutt of what is right. I'm close in age to you and we were sadly of the generation of woman that had to be SO in control. We had to be strong. So many of my women friends got strong by denying their softer, intuitive, vulnerable side. We became more manly and lost our softer side. For me that was the BIG change I had in losening up.

Very interesting thread. Also agree with everyone who lost someone to cancer and how that totally changes your view on weight and the horrors of being overly thin.
 
OK
This is a very interesting thread Nancy, as your's always are!
It seems like you didn't post for advice. You've already made up your mind. :)



Life is all about choices and fitting it all in in MODERATION.:p You have that covered my friend. You thoughts are wise. Enjoy yourself. I personally live by the moderation rule. I tried the Weight Watchers strict thing just so I could be the weight on the chart for my height. Ya know what? I looked awful and had no chest! I felt it was not worth it. DH and I love to eat out and enjoy a great bottle of wine as often as we can fit it in. It is a wonderful way for us to reconnect. I am not heavy at all, in fact I am more fit looking than most people my age. Do I have a bicep vein? NO and I don't care. I can still wear a bikini at age 45 and after giving birth to 4 children. That is good enough for me.

You know what is good enough for you too!

Keep posting here. Your topices are thought provoking.


Judy "Likes2bfit"

http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5ce27b3127cce94279e1404fa00000016108AatHLZo3buN

http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5ce27b3127cce9426d089240c00000015108AatHLZo3buN
 
>"If you've been a healthy/fit person for a number of years
>than those habits are probably more ingrained than you think;
>you are not suddenly going to do a faceplant into trough full
>of strawberry shortcake and suck it all down!"
>

Absolutely wonderful statement!! I thought I finally let go of all that control a few years ago too (I wish I did it sooner!) and all that happened was I became a lot happier. Something I read in all these posts reminded me of this poem I read years ago by Nadine Stair at age 87:


If I Had My Life Over - I'd Pick More Daisies

"If I had my life to live over, I'd dare to make more mistakes next time. I'd relax, I would limber up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.

You see, I'm one of those people who lived sensibly and sanely, hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I've had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I'd have more of them. In fact, I'd try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. I've been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat and a parachute. If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have.

If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances. I would ride more merry-go-rounds. I would pick more daisies."


Maybe we should all enjoy life a little more!!! Thanks for reminding me Nancy with your post...sometimes I revert back into my old ways and (Sparrow is right it is ingrained in me) actually forget to have a little ice cream now and then. I appreciate all your posts.

Robin:9
 
Nicely said Judy!!! Nancy I love the way you can put your 'germs' of ideas out there and get us all thinking and exploring! You've got it going on mentally, physically and your spirit is awesome!!

I am 43 and didn't come into fitness until my early 30's. I was very 'loose' with my eating and quite frankly sex was about the only time I exercised. Fear was my motivator to change my body as my fit hubby was diagnosed with cancer. I changed my eating and exercised my way down about 50 lbs. My life has changed so much in those dozen or more years. I was vigilant (to the point of distraction at times) with my eating until about 9 months ago. I was (and am) working 3 jobs and raising 3 kids on my own. Vigilence went out the window last spring as my schedule and client base steadily increased. At first I was stressing about my decreased time to exercise and changed eating habits which only made me crabby and feeling somewhat out of control. I have struggled with the completely irrational fear that those old pounds were forever nipping at my heels. Well since last March I have gained some weight and I feel fabulous. I've got my boobs back, I'm a little more curvaceous and my cholesterol levels are perfect. I guess I have loosend up some, it doesn't mean that I don't care, it is a result of a shift of focus. I want to be attractive and trim, I want to run with my kids, I want to enjoy what life has to offer me but above ALL I want to be (and am) healthy!!!

Thanks for your post Nancy, you got me thinking and looking inward and I like what I see! I've exercised my brain, now it's time to exercise my body! Enjoy your Sunday!

Take Care
Laurie:)
 
>>"If you've been a healthy/fit person for a number of years
>>than those habits are probably more ingrained than you
>think;
>>you are not suddenly going to do a faceplant into trough
>full
>>of strawberry shortcake and suck it all down!"
>>
>
You can tell I typed this early in the morning before my first cup of coffee. I meant to say it was a wonderful statement because "I felt it was so true." I hope everyone caught my meaning. After I re-read it I realized it didn't make any sense without clarification ;)

Robin
 
Nancy mentioned that she controls her eating and she exercises 2-3 times a week. In my opinion that's not unreasonable or obsessive. I mean what does she want to do now?! lol :p She can still exercise 2-3 times a week and eat what she wants in moderation or have a cheat day a couple of times a month and stay on her ideal weight. I don't think there's anything wrong about staying in the weight that works for her body and she can still keep doing what she's been doing and stay there without having to "loosen up" all together.

My parents are in their mid-60s and they have so many conditions due to being overweight (Type II diabetes, high cholesterol and triglycerides, high blood pressure, the list goes on and on). I remember my mom used to walk about 4 times per week, ate pretty much what I ate, and she was healthy. About 7-8 years ago she simply stopped exercising and now she eats whatever she wants. Not only she's overweight, but she has high cholesterol now and problems with her joints (she never had those problems in her 40s and 50s when she exercised regularly and ate healthy food). Although I know you can have both of those at her age without being overweight, every time she sees another doctor what do they tell her? Yes, that's right, you have to exercise and eat well and you have to lose a couple of pounds. This thread is definitely interesting.
 
Well, I am probably going to catch it for this but here goes. I love this board, and I love working out to Cathe. I am on the flip side of this discussion, in that I have had a weight problem all of my life. I still have about 20 pounds to lose. Now if I lose this 20, I would still be far heavier than most of the ladies here purport to be. By about 40 pounds. Will I be healthy? Yes. Will I be gorgeous? Yes, will I have tons of muscle? Yes. Will I be able to eat fabulous food and not obsess about it? Yes. Basically I get concerned reading some posts on this board, not necessarily in this thread, but there are few that raise a little red flag for me, about eating disorders and severe problems with self esteem. If we have a little bit of fat or flab on our bodies, that is not the kiss of death. It isn't even that unhealthy, particularly as we age. Now I am striving for health and fitness, but at some point we have to realize that having supermodels as role models is not realistic for most women. Women can be gorgeous, healthy and fit and still eat whatever they want in moderation. It is so tiring to obsess over every calorie. Food is not evil, it is one of the greatest pleasures in life. Why deny yourself? I don't think being skinny is a great pleasure. As a matter fact, I think it sounds really painful. There is so much self denial, guilt, and obsession, that I think it takes away from enjoying life.
 
Well said, Ivory. Excellent points. I have struggled with an eating disorder as an adult, and find that I have to ignore most of the food threads on this board because they bring out that aspect in me. Personally, I don't want to go back to having food be my constant enemy. It's just too painful and for me at least, not how I want to spend my time and energy.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Our Newsletter

Get awesome content delivered straight to your inbox.

Top