jloewe
Cathlete
First off, I am an idiot, secondly, I am a huge idiot, that about covers it.
I made some very bad decisions a while back, things that I cannot change..the big thing is, what am I going to do going forward???
My own personal pity party after being injured did me no good..I have never asked anyone for anything, I figure people have tons of stuff far more important that me in their lives ( I sure hope so, anyway). I sure do wish life came with instructions that you can refer to when you screw up as royally as I did, looking for a shovel to dig myself out of this hole is too time consuming.
I had it all here, a great bunch of forum friends..two ladies in particular who will always hold a place in my heart despite my stupdity for being a part of my wife's birthday..they know who they are if they read this..and I hope to someday be the type of person they are....outstanding mothers and incredible friends who deserved far better than me..the Tri Stater group was one of the greatest things I have ever been a part of, working out with Cathe live, get togethers after that..I was in a good place.
I think what I have learned through this experience is that you have to find ways to be the type of person you are during the good times, all of the time. Not being able to work out for such a period of time taught me just how far I to go, how much harder I have to work at being the type of person I expect of myself.
I made a promise when my depression was at it's worst...if I ever pulled out of this black hole, I was going to change lives in some small way, not run and hide.
Bear93 was my stupid attempt at running away and hiding, and getting back into a lifestyle that caused my illness in the first place.
I'm still on the green side of the grass, I have a chance to get this thing right, and that's what I am going to do.
My sincere apologies to all here, it's time to right this ship...not only on my workout floor, but in all aspects of my life.
I made some very bad decisions a while back, things that I cannot change..the big thing is, what am I going to do going forward???
My own personal pity party after being injured did me no good..I have never asked anyone for anything, I figure people have tons of stuff far more important that me in their lives ( I sure hope so, anyway). I sure do wish life came with instructions that you can refer to when you screw up as royally as I did, looking for a shovel to dig myself out of this hole is too time consuming.
I had it all here, a great bunch of forum friends..two ladies in particular who will always hold a place in my heart despite my stupdity for being a part of my wife's birthday..they know who they are if they read this..and I hope to someday be the type of person they are....outstanding mothers and incredible friends who deserved far better than me..the Tri Stater group was one of the greatest things I have ever been a part of, working out with Cathe live, get togethers after that..I was in a good place.
I think what I have learned through this experience is that you have to find ways to be the type of person you are during the good times, all of the time. Not being able to work out for such a period of time taught me just how far I to go, how much harder I have to work at being the type of person I expect of myself.
I made a promise when my depression was at it's worst...if I ever pulled out of this black hole, I was going to change lives in some small way, not run and hide.
Bear93 was my stupid attempt at running away and hiding, and getting back into a lifestyle that caused my illness in the first place.
I'm still on the green side of the grass, I have a chance to get this thing right, and that's what I am going to do.
My sincere apologies to all here, it's time to right this ship...not only on my workout floor, but in all aspects of my life.
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