sigh...kvetchy...crabby...I give up...poor me

eminenz2

eminenz2

Cathlete
I weighed myself this morning and I have gained back all the weight I lost two years ago. I am back at 170 pounds (I am 5'3"). My goal is 150. This is the same 20 pounds I have gained and lost about 6 or 7 times since I've been a teenager.

My 'skinny' clothes don't fit. I have to wear all my WalMart stretchy pants. I hate to get dressed in the morning because wearing clothes is so uncomfortable.

I give up. I don't know how little I have to eat anymore to lose weight. I'm tired of fighting myself and constant failure. I expect I'll just be getting fatter from now on.:confused:

I was just looking at the STS ab circuits clip on YouTube and I thought, well, it's just as well I cancelled the order because I couldn't do half the exercises anyway.:( Truly - single legged pikes on the ball? I'm no gymnast.

I feel so far left behind by Cathe and Co., that I can't even bear to do the old workouts, much less get excited my anything new she might come up with.

I'm tired of working so hard for so little payoff.

Sigh...

Pity party for poor pathetic me! Anyone feeling as low as me? Care to commiserate?

Thanks for letting me vent!
 
What do you do, read my mind and write that post!? ;) A year and a half ago I was at my goal weight and a size 2. A year of failed IF treatment and some self pity eating later (I mean if I was going to gain weight on the drugs I might as well get to enjoy gaining weight and eat some good stuff right?) here I sit in my snug 14's 45lbs heavier than I was. I can do cardio until the cows come home, but I have next to no strength and I might not be able to do more than say...2 crunches. My abs are all seperated and funny since having my son 3.5 years ago and extremely weak. Butts and Guts is Butts only in my house right now because I couldn't do a single thing in the Abs section.

All of that being said, i'm axiously awaiting STS, even the killer abs that I will only do 1/3 of and that 3rd will be heavily modified. I'll bring out my wussy 3 & 5lb weights in the hopes that next time I tackle STS I'll be able to use maybe 1/2 of what some of the ladies on there are. I am totally NOT happy w/ the way I am right now. I'm uncomfortable and feel out of place in my skin. Look at the year behind you so you know where you don't want to go again, then look forward to 2009 and all of the changes you're going to make!
 
Don't give up! So you've slipped back this year. It happens to everybody--at some point, we all let up a little. Start anew--you can get back to where you were and then some. Please, please, please, don't give up. You are always worth giving yourself another go!
~michelle
 
I hate to even start trying again because I know that failure will inevitably follow.

Thank you for your kind words!
 
eminenz2 said:
I hate to even start trying again because I know that failure will inevitably follow.
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It's only inevitable if you allow it to be. ;) I'm sure you know that and after you take some time to wallow a bit you'll say the same thing. I know this because I was wallowing last week. :D:eek:
 
My track record for keeping weight off is not good, but I see your point.

I will probably feel better next week.
 
Wow. I could have written this post. I was down 30lbs 18 months ago and managed to keep it off...until I started a new job. My exercise routine all but vanished and there is ALWAYS food around work. 20lbs quickly crept back on.

I am back on the wagon as of yesterday...even though I thought last week that it was useless. I was doubting myself and my willpower. I vowed on Sunday while pigging out at my grandmas for xmas that that was it!! 1.5 days into it and I'm going strong!! ;) I've avoided the treats here, have been eating healthy and just got back from working out over lunch.

Don't give up!! You can do it!!!!
 
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Come on, Susan, you have already fought much harder battles than this and won!!!!! It's a temporary bump in the road and failure is not inevitable, only if you let it be.

Come on, pick yourself up, I will let you have one day of pitty party and then off we go. :p

I have to start the whole exercise thing all over again with baby steps. We can check in with each other. Deal?
 
You CAN do it!

Hello,

Boy, oh boy can I feel your frustration. I am 43 year old, 5'4", and have riden the roller coaster that you speak of. I have been fat, in between and skinny. Healthy and terribly un-healthy with a bunch of health problems such as depression, high blood pressure and high cholesterol. Whats next? Heart issues? These were all questions I asked my self at the beggining of 2008. January of 2008 I weighed 198, hell, lets just say 200 pounds. The future looked bleak and unsettling. I asked myself "self, is this what you want for your life?" Hell, no! And the only person capable of making a change was myself. And there is no easy fix either. Just dedication, and back sliding, and getting back on track. So, I started the Atkins diet and rode an exercise bicycle 30-45 minutes almost daily. In late March my sister, Michelle calls me and tells me about Cathe. Michelle and I used to live close to one another, and we did step aerobics off and on together. So, I reluctantly bought the Basic dvd, and havn't looked back. Since buying the dvd, I have bought many others, nearly 30 now and absolutely love it. My favorite is LowMax! I did Basic for nearly 2 months before moving on up to harder things. And thats what it takes, consistancy and dedication. It sure helps to have a friend (or sister) to exercise with too, even though we are 150 miles apart. But at the end of the day, there is only yourself to answer to. And you are absolutely worth the effort. Health gains, fitness level, a sense of well being and happiness. There is nothing like it. Please don't give up. I have fallen off the wagon so many times. Get back up there, you'll be glad you did. I know I'm glad I did. I am down to 153 and 1% away from being in the normal BMI range. I love Cathe and her crew. My goal is to have the muscle defination and cardiovascular endurance that they do. I know it won't happen over night, and yes, that drives me crazy. But I keep on going, the alternative really sucks. You CAN do it too! Please, hang in there, re-group and don't give up. You are worth it!

~Renee
 
Please don't give up. I have more admiration for you (and your curls!) than almost anyone else on this forum. I KNOW you'll feel better about yourself soon. It upsets me that you're feeling so down on yourself, you're such an amazing woman & you have absolutely no right to be so insecure!
 
Aw, I would love to join your pity party! But, I just pulled myself out of a similar funk. I just simply said to myself-either you DO something, anything! or this same time next year you will be sitting here with 15 more lbs.

I'm starting STS at my the highest personal weight and weakest I have been in years. But, doing nothing but having a pity party is NOT an option.

Think of it you have record of success! You have faced and conquered this challenge 7+ times! woo hoo! :)
 
Well, I quit smoking 12 years ago after several attempts. I learned something by doing that - the first several (oh, I think about 10-15) attempts helped me learn what to do. When I was finally ready to actually do it, it worked.

I look at weight loss in the same vein. Each time I lose weight and then gain some of it back (I lost a total of 70 pounds, gained 40 back, lost 20 and have since gained ten - I'm a freaking yo yo), I learn a little more. I'm still working towards getting to the ultimate of losing that last 30 pounds and looking good. I'll get there. You will too. Set a goal for yourself and work towards it.
 
You ladies are much nicer than I deserve!

I am just sooooooo tired of thinking about food and how little I can have and always wanting more.

I've been doing KBs and lots of walking.
 
I let myself gain over 100 lbs. It wasn't a pity party, really, more like a pity orgy. I had lots of conversations with myself just like you're having with yourself now. I've lost 50 lbs this year, and prior to that I'd lost about 35 lbs (had a pregnancy in between). And I may gain it all back and more. I have before. It never stops being a struggle. So suck it up. Life is hard. If you don't want to lose weight then don't. But at least enjoy your life, whatever your weight.
 
Susan, I'm sorry you're in such a funk. I know how hard it is to lose weight, and how frustrating it is when you're seemingly doing everything right!

Have you heard of Leigh Peele? She's got a couple ebooks on the market, one called The Fatloss Troubleshoot and the other called Metabolic Repair Manual. This chick knows what she's talking about. There are a lot of women who've had huge success following her advice. I bought The Fatloss Troubleshoot a few months back and it's a great read. But if you'd rather not shell out any dough right now and just want to check her out a bit first, try these two sites:

Her Blog: http://avidityfitness.net/

And a forum that she runs/moderates devoted to those following her FLTS and MRM programs: http://forums.jpfitness.com/forumdisplay.php?f=95

Chin up...things will get better ;)

Jen
 
eminenz2 said:
I hate to even start trying again because I know that failure will inevitably follow.
Click to expand...

If you believe it, you will achieve it. That includes failure. You have to stop feeling down on yourself. We all have setbacks. We all screw up. But you'll never reach your goals by giving up. Get back in there! We're all here for you!

:)
 
eminenz2 said:
I weighed myself this morning and I have gained back all the weight I lost two years ago. I am back at 170 pounds (I am 5'3"). My goal is 150. This is the same 20 pounds I have gained and lost about 6 or 7 times since I've been a teenager.

My 'skinny' clothes don't fit. I have to wear all my WalMart stretchy pants. I hate to get dressed in the morning because wearing clothes is so uncomfortable.

I give up.
Click to expand...

DO NOT give up

eminenz2 said:
I don't know how little I have to eat anymore to lose weight.
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You should not NOT be eating. I did that. It doesn't work. You have to eat the right food to properly fuel your body for the activity you put it through. I'm just learning this myself. That's why I've been talking so much about Dr. John Berardi and PrecisionNutrition. You should look into it. He's all about properly fueling yourself for your workouts and it's all scientifically based. Be warned, though. You'll probably have to replace everything in your cupboards with better-for-you stuff. I've been working towards these changes for a month or so and I FEEL so much better and am never hungry. As I tighten up my diet, I miss junk but I don't miss how it made me feel.

eminenz2 said:
I was just looking at the STS ab circuits clip on YouTube and I thought, well, it's just as well I cancelled the order because I couldn't do half the exercises anyway.:( Truly - single legged pikes on the ball? I'm no gymnast. I feel so far left behind by Cathe and Co., that I can't even bear to do the old workouts, much less get excited my anything new she might come up with.
Click to expand...

You think you're the only one who feels this way? Please. I see those clips and go "Uh oh." But it won't stop me from trying STS or anything else I know I can't do in full the first or even the fiftieth time. Even now, after all this time, heavy weight or super slow lower body moves are often so tough I have to take a break until my heart rate goes down and the lead-like feeling in my legs dissipates. Like those slow-mo lunges in GSL? There's 4 for each leg. I once did 3 on one leg but couldn't do 3 on the other so I haven't done more than 2 on each, since. Still. I'm just saying. It's not just you. But you HAVE to keep trying because the alternative (being a sofa spud resigned to life in front of the tv... alone...) sucks. I know I'm a lot older than you so you can trust me on this.

eminenz2 said:
I'm tired of working so hard for so little payoff.
Sigh...
Click to expand...

Get off you duff right now and do something, anything. Pop in a dvd, got a treadmill? You need to get back in the game now. You may have to start back by walking, light jogging, using the easiest dvd workouts in your collection... You'll get back up to speed fast. You need to schedule your workouts and follow them. You also need to do a little research so you know what you should be eating. I will tell you you need to start cutting way back on junk, start eating a lot more vegetables, and you need to get protein every 2-3 hours in the form of lean meats, beans, and legumes. I've learned a lot here, at FigureAthlete.com and at the PrescisionNutrition.com site.

DO NOT QUIT.

P.S. Schedule and track your workouts (and maybe even your eating). I have a table on my computer in which I log all my workouts. I try to not miss any workouts but every 7th day is a scheduled "off" day. On my table, the first column lists the day's date. Every time there's a break in consecutive dates, like after six straight days, I make the black line separating todays date from the next into a short bold, red line. Thus, after six days of straight working out there's a red line. And any time I miss a workout there's a red line. But since I instituted the red line I haven't missed a single scheduled workout. Something about seeing one too many red lines on my table makes me uncomfortable, motivating me to get off my butt and work out, no matter what.
 
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I'd say you've been very successful at preventing yourself from being 120lbs (6 x 20lbs) heavier than you are right now! All of your hard work has not been for nothing. You're heavier than you want to be, but not as heavy as you could have been. Good work! :D

Sandra
 
Thank you Sandra - that is very sweet of you to say.

Jen (Irishrose),
I signed up for Leigh Peele's "6-week fat loss course" or something like that. I will let you know how it goes. I'm not sure what it's all about, but I'll see what happens.

I just needed a bit of tough love from my fellow Cathletes.

Thank you all again. I hope someday I can repay your kind words.
 
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