Personal question, but I really need advice...

WormwoodScrubs

WormwoodScrubs

Cathlete
Okay, sorry to go TMI here, but I’d really like some advice and I'm pretty certain you guys (gals) can help me.

My husband and I have used prophylactics as our means of b.c. for years. I mean YEARS. I feel bad for him, not to mention that this method is slightly inconvenient.

So why don't I simply switch to another method? Truth be told – I’m terrified of getting on the Pill for fear of the potential weight gain side effect. Every one of my friends who takes the Pill has gained (a significant amount of) weight because of it.

I know my reasoning is shallow and vain, but I’m being honest.

Recently, I heard ‘the sponge’ (which makes me think of Elaine on “Seinfeld”) was back on the market. Is this a reliable form of b.c.? My husband and I do not want children. But I don’t want him to have to keep using the method we have been using – and I certainly know he’d be happy to use an alternative method as well!!

TIA for any and all advice/suggestions!!
:)
 
Oh duh... Sounded so much more technical... I have had AWFUL experiences with the pill, so the prophywhatever route is what I have stuck with. I REALLY do not want kids right now, so I have never trusted any of the other methods - foam, sponge, films, whatever. I'd be interested to see what responses you get though.

p.s. My DH biotches about it too...
 
I am going in for a consultation about the IUD next week. My doctor will not prescribe pills for me because I'm over 35 and ... smokex(

I can't give you my opinion since I'm not using it yet, but perhaps the IUD is an option for you? If I don't like what I hear at the consultation, I'm not sure what I will do so I'm really hoping the IUD will be right for me.

Sonja.
 
Well, I have gotten pregnant on two forms of birth control and the only thing that worked for us was the rhythm method... but you reeeeeally have to know your cycle and when you ovulate, which I did. We used it for two years, and didn't have so much as a hiccup. It isn't as effective as other means, but DH was enjoying it and I got pregnant anyways, so...

Missy
 
I used the diaphram for years with no problem, and I also used the sponge when it first came out and when it got back on the market...no kids here!
 
Wow, thanks for the candor, ladies.

Missy - my cycle is pretty spotty - it never arrives when I expect it to, and it never lasts the same amount of days as the previous months'.

Sonja - I was told that an IUD was a great form of b.c. if you've already had at least one child. From what I've read/heard, it isn't reliable if you've never had children. But they could have changed the IUDs since I read this information (which was probably about a decade ago).

Thanks again for the information!!
 
You know, the effectiveness of any method increases if you add a second method. If your periods are regular, you could use the calendar/rhythmic method along with the sponge, then also use condoms during your fertile time, or abstain during that time.

BTW, not every woman experiences weight gain with OC. Talk with your doc about all the options and the effectiveness rate and pros/cons of each method.

HTH, Deb
 
Personally, I've been on the pill for years off and on and don't see that it affects my weight. I'm fortunate to be able to take a low-dose pill. I've used it more for regulating my periods than for birth control.

On the pill - I know within half a day, when my period will start. It lasts roughly 3 days (4th day I use a pantyshield), and I don't have cramps.

Off the pill - my period will vary from a 27 day cycle to a 45 day cycle. It lasts 6 days and I cramp like heck the first day and a half.

So, my reasons and experiences are going to be different than yours. But don't rule it out because of possible weight gain. It's not always the case. Talk it over with your doc.

Diane
 
Hi WormWood,

I have to say I used every form of birth control out there and you have to weigh your desire to avoid pregnancy against each method.

My favorite method was a combination of rhythm and prophylactics. I would carefully chart my cycles and decided my own "safe" zones. Outside the zone we'd use condoms or *ahem* alternative activities.

Another method I really liked was the cervical cap. It's like a diaphragm only not so humongously frisbee sized. It fits right over your cervix and you only need a small dollop of spermicide. It can be a challenge to get out but worth it. It can be hard to find.

In general I'd say you might want to consult with a practitioner - your best bet is a nurse-midwife if you have any in your area. They tend to know a bit more about real-time use of the methods.

About 8 years ago I had a tubal ligation since I was 100% sure I was done making babies. Hands down, outside divorcing my DX :p , this was the best thing I ever did for myself.

SO and I can enjoy ourselves any time, anywhere and I NEVER have to think about birth control.

HTH. Sorry for any TMI.
 
If you're both sure you don't want children, how about a vasectomy (less invasive than a tubal ligation)?
 
>>You know, the effectiveness of any method increases if you add a second method. If your periods are regular, you could use the calendar/rhythmic method along with the sponge, then also use condoms during your fertile time, or abstain during that time.>>

This may not be true with natural methods. During the fertile times, absinence is more effective than barriers.

Also, keep in mind there are natural methods other than the Rhythm Method.
 
If you are sure you don't want children ever, I would have DH get a vasectomy or get a tubal ligation. There is also something called Essure that women can get that is less invasive than a tubal. I have two kids and I am totally done, so I am going to discuss a tubal and the Essure with my doc next time I go.

Lori
 
I was on the pill (various dosages and types) for maybe 20 years and did not experience weight gain from it. It was also 100% effective for us. (When we wanted to start a family, I went off and got pregnant immediately.) While I was on it, my periods were like clockwork. I'd talk to your gyno. about various options, particularly the low dose ones. Everybody's different so I wouldn't necessarily relate your friends' experience to yourself.

Jonahnah
Chocolate IS the answer, regardless of the question.
 
I had a tubal ligation a couple of years ago and it was one of the best decisions I ever made.:D :) I hated condoms and the diaphragm and couldn't tolerate the birth control pill.

Erica
 
Do a search on IUDs around here... we've discussed it several times. (I know I asked years ago before I got mine! I've been happy with it so far... and no kids!)
 
I have had an IUD for about 3 years and I have never had any kids. It is the best thing I have ever done. I used to get migraines every month and not not only do I not get migraines I no longer get my period. Good luck on your search.

Shayne
 
another vote for IUD here. never had a problem and used one for my entire fertile lifetime & never had an issue. There's a little tail to the IUD to check if it's in place but that can be a source of infection if you're not sticking with the one partner. I've never been pregnant and it was no problem. I couldn't stand BC pills and wanted a reliable method that wasn't messy & fussy. I really didn't want to get pregnant and would never rely on rhythm. It's a bit unpleasant getting one inserted but then you're good to go for years. I had my last one for 10 years, annual check with the OBGYN of course.
 
Why do you have to be the one worried about b.c.? If you both are certain you dont want children why not have hubby get vesectomy?


Carmen
 
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