Optimism/Positive outlook and overall health

Kimenem

Kimenem

Cathlete
I just read an article about this on MSN. One study looked at men with an avg age of 61. Over the 10 year study, the ones with the most pessimistic outlook developed heart disease more than 2 times than the ones with a positive outlook, even considering other risk factors! That's pretty convincing I think so HOW IN THE WORLD do you stay positive????? I'm going to try but I always see the bad side of things. If I have something weird happen, I always automatically think the worst! I hate that about myself but don't know how to stop unless I just force myself to not think about bad things or keep telling myself positive things. However, the worry is always hanging over me not matter what. It seems to happen mainly with medical issues. :rolleyes:
 
Kimenem;HOW IN THE WORLD do you stay positive????? [/quote said:
I would love to know the answer to this question. I am the same way as you, trying very hard to stay positive but the worry is always there, no matter how much I tell myself to stop worrying. :confused::confused:
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It's an ongoing practice. I'm sure there are those who are born with an optomistic view of the world, but most of us have to practice, practice, practice. :)

I just picked up Don't Sweat The Small Stuff by Richard Carlson, and it has some really great wisdom on this subject. Each chapter is very short and to-the-point (which I love...I can't stand it when someone blabs on for pages when the point could have been made in two paragraphs), and they each give you ideas and exercises to try.

I personally have been working on this for years. It doesn't happen overnight, but the contentment you eventually achieve is worth the effort.
 
This might help:

How to Quickly Change a Negative Mood into a Positive One


Janie
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Lori took the words out of my mouth! I am not a naturally optimistic person but over time I've been able to train my thoughts to go in a more positive direction. It's just a matter of habit. Scientists say we carve neural patterns with our consistent thoughts, and I've come to think this is true. Surround yourself with positive people and words. It's not about being a Pollyanna though. You have to be realistic! But you can acknowledge that while things may not be great now, nothing lasts forever, and better days are coming. Also, if most of your family and aquaintace do nothing but endlessly bitch and moan, consider spending less time with them, or refuse to contribute to the endless angst. It will feel awkward at first but eventually you fall into the habit of being positive.

A great book for this is Pema Chodron's When Things Fall Apart. I read it about 6 months ago and it has changed my life.

HTH!

Sparrow
 
It is a lot of effort to change who you are. Although a little embarrassed to admit it (cause that is sooo not me), I picked up the Secret, and I didn't finish it, but I started to apply the positive thinking and you know, I felt better while I did, but I have since slipped away from it, and back to my normal worry about everything self. :confused:

I think it's the news and the general state of things that have me exceptionally freaked out lately.
 
I was raised by incredible parents. For as long as I can remember my mom would always tout having a PMA (Positive Mental Attitude). I certainly agree that sometimes it's difficult to be positive in the world we live in today. It is much easier to think of the negative.

Try to begin the day with 3 things that you are grateful for or happy about. Hopefully this will help to train your mind to think on the bright side. When confronted with a negative situation. Sit back and think of 3 positives that could come out of that negative situation.

I believe that every cloud has a silver lining. The trials that we go through make us the people we are today. If we live in fear or worry, we don't live in love.

Do I believe that having a negative attitude effects your overall health? Yes!! My boss is an angry, negative man who has heart trouble. He complains about everything. Unfortunately he will never change. I feel so sorry for him.
 
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Kim,
So much of the way we view the world depends on the story we tell ourselves about the things that happen. If you want to change the way you view events in your life, you have to change the things you tell yourself about them.

When you're tempted to jump to a negative conclusion, try asking yourself a different question. Ask "What else could this mean?" or "If I had to find one positive thing about this, what would it be?" Get in the habit of moving past your initial reaction and asking yourself to look at it a different way.

A book that I've found very helpful is "Crucial Conversations." It is actual a business book about communication skills but part of the content covers stories we tell ourselves.

(I've also found it outstanding for improving my own communication skills in tough situations -- when I remember to use them, that is. ;) )

I don't want to sound glib ("Here's your solution!"), but this one thing may help you see things in a different light. Good luck and keep us posted on how you're doing.
 
I will surely look at some of the books mentioned and I'm definitely going to use the suggestion of telling myself 3 things I'm thankful for each morning. I know it will be a process and probably one that I will always have to work on, but I agree that the things we go through shape us. I just hope I don't get shaped too much ;)
 
I for one don't look at it as a Positive Attitude, but more as what do I have control over vs. what controls my life.

Make something good out of what you CAN control and you just have to work with what you can't control.

Worry gets me nowhere so I put my effort into what I CAN control.

Prime example: I am 50 yrs old and my previous wonderful metabolism that would allow me to drop 5 lbs in a week of just eating clean, and would also build muscle like there was no tomorrow, is so TOTALLY FAILING me these days.

So what do I do? I have spend the entire year beginning in January, trying different types of eating plans (90 - 95% clean but playing with the carbs for the most part) and doing different types of workouts (heavy vs circuit vs total body w/lots of cardio).

I have leaned up, have not lost any weight, but have loads of energy and am enjoying the checkins here which keep me going.

Not sure if that will help at all, but we can all ony do so much ya know? And after a HALF A CENTURY on this planet, I am finally starting to figure some of it out. :eek:

Best of luck . . . You probably weren't around back then, but in high school there was a favorite saying of ours, "Don't worry, be Happy !".

Try it, it really works ! :p
 
One thing that I would like to add on top of everyone's great advice of directing your thoughts and training your mind to think positively and look for the good is to surround yourself with positive people. I love to be around people who smile a lot!!! It is so encouraging and it just lifts your spirit. Get advice from the people you know who are good at this, who can be happy no matter what life hands them. My daughter and husband have this down to an art. I am lucky to live with them. ;)

Something else that really helps me goal setting. When you create goals and reach them, no matter how large or small, the world just looks better because you feel accomplished and your self-esteem has been given a huge boost. The other little things just don't seem as important anymore, that they really never were to begin with. It really gives you a sense that you can control some things.

Another huge factor is controlling what I can, but letting the rest go. Give it up to God and know that He gives you the strength to overcome the things that are in your control but will give you peace about the things that aren't. Que sera sera - whatever will be will be - there is great power in surrender. We are here such a short time and it really isn't worth it to waste our thoughts on the things that will just bring us down.

HTH
Missy
 
pink_fortitude said:
One thing that I would like to add on top of everyone's great advice of directing your thoughts and training your mind to think positively and look for the good is to surround yourself with positive people. I love to be around people who smile a lot!!! It is so encouraging and it just lifts your spirit.

Missy
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This is so true!

I am working part-time for my BIL these days (a lovely, cake job that allows me to work on my own stuff while there. Wee!) and the two women in the office, my oh my, I swear they do nothing but complain. They don't do it in a nasty, angry way but in that snide, everyone else is a dumba$$ let's laugh at them way. The clients are morons, the applicants fools, the bosses clueless. Then of course there are the selfish boyfriends, the irresponsible stepchildren, the malevolent ex's. It just goes on and on and on.

While I can appreciate a snarky comment myself, I find endless rounds of it tiresome and draining.

Sparrow
 
I wake up pretty much every morning excited about the day and looking forward to it. It wasn't always like this, though, so I can really appreciate how far I've come.

One book that made a huge difference for me was "A Road Less Travelled" by M. Scott Peck. Maybe it was the timing in my life (can you say depths of despair?) but it literally changed my life. Not overnight, mind you - it does take time - but it just rang so true for me that it's impacted my life to this day.

It starts with this:

"Life is difficult.
This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult - once we truly understand and accept it – then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.

Most do not truly see this truth that life is difficult. Instead they moan more or less incessantly, noisily or subtly, about the enormity of their problems, their burdens, and their difficulties as if life were generally easy, as if life should be easy. They voice their belief, noisily or subtly, that their difficulties represent a unique kind of affliction that should not be and that has somehow been especially visited upon them...and not upon others."


That first paragraph really hit me, and as I kept reading, the chapters just flowed. It's not about how to put on rose colored glasses and ignore the bad things that happen - it's about how you process life and deal with it in a positive way. It's very real and very practical.

Another thing that you can practice is to focus on your blessings and be consciously thankful for all the things in your life that are good, big and small. It's a habit that you'll have to force yourself to do at first, but then it can become second nature. You know the saying: "I used to cry because I had no shoes and then met a man who had no feet" Well, I think about that every day - no matter how bad my problems are, there are thousands of people out there who would give anything to trade places with me.

Sorry this got so long - it's just something that I feel strongly about. Life is so short and we need to make the most of every minute we have...
 
[ Another huge factor is controlling what I can, but letting the rest go. Give it up to God and know that He gives you the strength to overcome the things that are in your control but will give you peace about the things that aren't. Que sera sera - whatever will be will be - there is great power in surrender. We are here such a short time and it really isn't worth it to waste our thoughts on the things that will just bring us down.


This is GREAT advice, as are all of the other posts. I did my 3 positive thoughts this morning and it actually made me feel good. Now I just have to stop thinking negatively that the 3 positive thoughts each day won't help me change my thinking :p
 
Kimenem said:
Now I just have to stop thinking negatively that the 3 positive thoughts each day won't help me change my thinking :p
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Kim, omg you've GOT to start positively speaking to yourself!!! :rolleyes: Things like telling yourself you're proud of what you've done in the past day/week/month/year... congratulating yourself on the more-than-a-lap run... or upping your post count... or learning so much recently... or getting back into fitness... and these are just things in your fitness life!!! Think about saying "check me out!" every now and again- it's fun. :cool:

Now I've got Ella Fitzgerald singing in my head... pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and start right over again! :D
 
Well I was REALLY proud of myself on Thursday becasue I ran 2 laps!!!! I know.....it's not a marathon but it was a GREAt accomplishment for me. I just kept pushing myself and before I knew it 2 laps had passed!! YAY!!!!
 
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