Negative attitude/comments regarding health & fitness

M

mini-natty

Cathlete
I have to share this story, as I'm sure many of you have experienced something similar at one time or another...

I was recently at Wal-Mart purchasing ankle weights. As the cashier proceeded to scan them, she looked at me puzzled and said "what are you gonna do with these? Walk in them? Oh gosh, why would you torture yourself like that?". She laughed and rolled her eyes. I felt slightly embarrassed and declined from offering her the REAL explanation as to what the weights were for: STS leg lifts :eek:.

Unfortunately, I'm no stranger to these types of comments. At times I find it humorous, but other times frustrating (and infuriating!). The worst by far, is the assumption that women should not/do not lift weights :confused:.

Please share any negativity you may have experienced in your quest to live a more healthy/active lifestyle.

Natasha
 
Here's one for ya.......

A few months ago I injured one of my fingers and had to wear a splint on it to keep it straight. Unfortunately when this happened I was right in the middle of STS Meso 2 and I was so frustrated because holding a heavy dumbell or barbell was challenging. I didn't want to stop STS (I had come so far!) so I thought about ways I could still work with the heavy weight. I went to a sports store explained my dilemma to 2 young salesmen and asked what they would suggest. Well they took one look at me (a 41 year old woman inquiring about lifting heavy weights) and kind of smiled at each other, then showed me where the one or two pound wrist weights were. I told them I was lifting heavier weights, and they showed me the five pound wrist weights. I asked about hooks to help me lift or a weighted vest and I explained the weight I was lifting and they honestly could not believe what I was telling them. They were so patronizing! I ended up buying a weighted vest somewhere else along with heavier wrist weights so I could continue my STS program. I did finish the program and made great progress! I would love to challenge those 2 salesmen to do Cathe's STS and see how they do!

Kelly
 
When people aren't respectful I do take my business elsewhere.

I have no idea why people say these things. I just assume its a combination of ignourance and stupidity. Sometimes, (when I'm feeling snarky.) I just laugh in their faces and say that I didn't know anybody was in the dark ages anymore and still thought like it was 1950. :eek:

Yeah. I'm mean like that.:p
 
atleast your cashier picked them up. I bought 5lbs ankle weights, 15s and 20s dumbbells (not all at the same time) at Walmart and the cashiers never pick them up.
now I think about it, they never pick up the 20lb+ bags of cat litter either, just use the hand held scanner and say it's too heavy for them.... and these are young people (younger than me now)
 
I use to work out at a gym and a man told me that I shouldn't lift such heavy weight because I would bulk up. I just said "oh is that right?" and kept on going.

Then - get this, it seems like a lifetime ago but I still remember it - I was using the pec machine and had my eyes closed so that I could focus. I heard a couple guys talking next to me - one of them said "look at her concentration;" then the other guy actually said "assuming she is a she." I didn't bother to stop but I was shocked that someone would even think such a thing.

I think there are some pretty insecure men out there that's for sure.
 
These poor saps just need to be educated......I teach a weigth training class and I really struggle to get my girls to lift heavy weight....the guys know the ladies are learning.....the best book I've seen was called "Stronge Women Stay Slim"....I don't remember who wrote it....
 
I had an appointment with a nutritionist a few months ago as I was looking for ways to tweak my diet to get rid of those last pesky 5-10 pounds that I cannot seem to shed. After declaring that my diet really was very good and there were not any significant changes that she could recommend, we then moved on to talking about my exercise habits. I explained to her that I work out 6 days a week for at least an hour a day, 3-4 days of cardio and 2 days of weights. She then stopped me and noted that I should stop lifting weights because that would cause me to bulk up. She then went on to talk about weights stopping women from achieving a "china doll" build, which she had alluded to earlier in our meeting as a waif-llike, thin appearance that she clearly thought represented some feminine ideal. I knew at that moment that this woman and I would not be working together because we were not on the same page! It was very disappointing to hear a nutritionist and health professional project the stereotypical opinions about what women should look like and how we should try to be healthy and fit.

I have since decided that my best bet to shed these last few pounds was to not only lift weights more frequently, but to start STS and to lift as heavy as I can! I am very pleased with the results I've gotten so far. I'm about halfway through the program and I have seen changes that I am very optimistic about.
 
LOL you should go visit her when you reach your goal to show her she is wrong and highly uneducated. Where oh where did she get her degree ...Kmart's? LOL.
 
I have never been able to lift weights at the gym around guys. No one has ever said anything...it's just the vibe I get. I am glad I have all the weights at home now.

I haven't had too many comments at stores but then again my son loves to swing from one of my arms with it in a bicep curl. That might halt most comments since he is almost 7 now and around 40lbs!

I am sorry that so many of you have had such bad experiences...some people simply just don't get it and honestly never will!
 
"Do you need help carrying that to your car?" Said when I bought a pair of 25lb plates a couple weeks ago. Um, no, thanks. Shouldn't buy it if I can't lift it.

When I bought my 40lb dumbbell, it was around some holiday or another, and the guy asked me if it was a present for my hubby or bf. I told him, no it was a present for me. :p

If I'm in a store that is not primarily fitness related, I do sometimes feel silly, like they wonder if I'm actually going to use whatever it is I'm buying.

I also need a new set of 5s and 3s, mine are rubber coated and I prefer straight metal. I don't need to spend the money, and I rarely use those, except light shoulder work with the 5 and heel or toe wedges with the 3s, but I want new ones to match the rest of them. But I REFUSE to be the lady buying 3 lb weights. Not that there's anything wrong with starting there, but I would think they would think that's all I can lift, and that's not cool.

And the random store employee who asks if I need help putting the dog food or cat litter in the cart. No, I'm good, thanks. But then the previous poster was right, the check out person will never lift it up, they come around an scan. I think that's more of a Worker's Comp claim avoidance thing on the employers part. I think in some stores they're not allowed to lift them up at the checkout. But they do give you a funny a look if you lift it up for them to scan. Like, "why are you picking that up if you don't have to?" The stores around me also have customers leave 12 packs of pop in the cart. Really? If you can't pick up the pop, perhaps you shouldn't be drinking it.

Nan
 
All I can say is just wow. What else should you be doing besides torturing your self? Sitting at home eating donuts in front of the TV??? I really think when people do this it's because of some insecurity they have within themselves.
 
atompki1 said:
All I can say is just wow. What else should you be doing besides torturing your self? Sitting at home eating donuts in front of the TV??? I really think when people do this it's because of some insecurity they have within themselves.
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Or that they have been tortured by some of the horrible, unsafe and/excruciatingly boring DVDs out there! Still so happy I found Cathe, wonder if they'd feel the same way if they knew about her, too,

As to cashiers not lifting heavier items...they work 8-10 hr shifts and most customers have these items in their carts. I'm all for high reps, but that's a bit too much. :).
 
When I was around 20, I went to a doctor who took one look at my legs and asked what kind of sports I played. When I told him I was lifting weights (this was back in the Firm days) he told me I should stop, as it wasn't attractive. This was back when I was super shy and never spoke up for myself. The person I am today would have never let that fly. I was relieved to find out after the fact that his street nickname was Dr. (rhymes with masspole). :confused:
 
I bought 5 lb ankle/wrist weights. The guy kept going on and on about how heavy the box was. Asked if I needed help out. I said no, I got it. He told me to be careful carrying it out. ?????

Another time I went into sports authority to buy the bowflex dumbbells. The guy kept talking to my husband about them, wouldn't look at me at all. Oh well. I ended up returning them and getting them cheaper somewhere else. :)
 
spyrosmom said:
"


But then the previous poster was right, the check out person will never lift it up, they come around an scan. I think that's more of a Worker's Comp claim avoidance thing on the employers part. I think in some stores they're not allowed to lift them up at the checkout. But they do give you a funny a look if you lift it up for them to scan. Like, "why are you picking that up if you don't have to?" The stores around me also have customers leave 12 packs of pop in the cart. Really? If you can't pick up the pop, perhaps you shouldn't be drinking it.

Nan
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I think you're right about this. It isn't necessarily that the cashier can't lift the weight, it's that their training doesn't allow them to. I understand that. Imagine doing a long day of standing at the cash register and leaning over the counter over and over picking up heavy things. I would imagine that wouldn't be great for the back. I give them a pass on that one.

And regarding leaving the 12 pack of soda or a large pack of bottled water in the cart, I do that so the cashier won't have to lift them as she scans them. She can just walk over with the hand held scanner. I think it's a courtesy to do that!

As far as negative attitudes or remarks to me, I've never had them. I mostly get compliments and good comments about my weight lifting and running and working out. :)
 
This is why I like this forum, because nobody else seems to understand. Having to deal with all the general ignorance out there about women lifting weights drives me crazy, but I have learned to keep my mouth shut. A good friend of mine (another nutritionist!) said, "I just think it is so cute how you are the aerobics queen. I can just picture you in your basement like it is the 1980's." I just sat there with my mouth hanging open. She had no idea that she said anything offensive. Then if we go shopping I'll hear about how "lucky" I am that I fit into certain clothes. They just don't make the connection at all.

Entertaining post, Mini Natty!
 
So judgemental!! I guess I'm just not as easily offended as some people. When it comes to sales people, I assume that they just don't get a lot of fitness-oriented women coming in (especially if you shop at at warehouse like Walmart). I've always shopped at fitness specific stores, and have never ever had a problem. Ever in 20+ years. Maybe it's my own attitude, however. I just walk in confident in what I want and not expecting anyone to be impressed or doubtful, either way.
As for clerks at the store offering to lift things into the cart or car (when I had one) for me, I just assume they're being polite. I think it's kind of classy actually. I often wonder what ever happened to chivalry, and I've had many men tell me they try but then they run into women who get all "pissy" with them when they offer to hold the door or to lift something up or whatever and all "I can do it myself!" I didn't believe them. Now I understand they weren't lying. I think the attitude problem there is yours, frankly. Can I lift the 20 pound bag? Yup. Is it nice to have a man act like a gentleman and offer to do it for me. Yup!! No wonder so few men have manners anymore - they're afraid some woman is going to bite their head off, or roll their eyes for trying. So if you're one of those ladies - knock it off! Get off your high horse.
Remember, hard-core fitness people are still the minority. Not a good thing, certainly. But it doesn't make you so superior to everyone else, either.
 
Jenniferlove said:
I think there are some pretty insecure men out there that's for sure.
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Thats not a 'real man' after all.

Once upon a time, I used to work in Hollywood and I happened to run into a really nice buff leading man from TV. He told me to never be embarrassed or to hide my strength because a real man wouldn't be intimidated, he would think it was hot:eek: So, ever since, I haven't hidden it at all. I just remember that real men think its hot;):cool:
 
I've had all sorts and it varied with my weight. I'd get the comments like "you think you're better than me" or the guilt trips from family and friends bc I can walk 3-4 miles without dying or because perhaps I didn't want seconds of a meal at a family dinner. I'd get the guilt most often then the nasty comments of "you need to eat this, you're getting to small" just to have the same person say a couple of years later after some weight gain "just because you workout doesn't mean you can eat that, you're getting fat".

I've recently lost a friendship over exercise and taking care of myself. I am a bigger girl, I were a double-digit size so I'm not one of the Size 6 Cathe-fans :D and if it wasn't for chronic knee and hip issues from surgery and an accident, I'd still be flying high with my Cathe workouts on a consistent basis. She was constantly poking at me over how active I was and what I ate. Anytime being active came up like taking a trip out west and hiking some steep hills or enjoying the summer activies and sports I'd get those snarky comments about how "not everyone cares".

Then of course when I'd go to the gym there's always the comments about how much I can lift and I'll look like a man. But I laugh at those and just reply saying I should have been Arnold years ago by that logic.

I guess for me it's more of the weight issue that bothers me whenit comes to exercise comments. I'm good with myself but it always causes someone the right to say something rude or hurtful. Either I exercise too much and am too small or I'm too fat and they question if I "really do" use my workout DVDs. I've just learned that there is no pleasing others and sometimes it doesn't hurt to tell people to mind their own business.
 
NY25 said:
So judgemental!! I guess I'm just not as easily offended as some people. When it comes to sales people, I assume that they just don't get a lot of fitness-oriented women coming in (especially if you shop at at warehouse like Walmart). I've always shopped at fitness specific stores, and have never ever had a problem. Ever in 20+ years. Maybe it's my own attitude, however. I just walk in confident in what I want and not expecting anyone to be impressed or doubtful, either way.
As for clerks at the store offering to lift things into the cart or car (when I had one) for me, I just assume they're being polite. I think it's kind of classy actually. I often wonder what ever happened to chivalry, and I've had many men tell me they try but then they run into women who get all "pissy" with them when they offer to hold the door or to lift something up or whatever and all "I can do it myself!" I didn't believe them. Now I understand they weren't lying. I think the attitude problem there is yours, frankly. Can I lift the 20 pound bag? Yup. Is it nice to have a man act like a gentleman and offer to do it for me. Yup!! No wonder so few men have manners anymore - they're afraid some woman is going to bite their head off, or roll their eyes for trying. So if you're one of those ladies - knock it off! Get off your high horse.
Remember, hard-core fitness people are still the minority. Not a good thing, certainly. But it doesn't make you so superior to everyone else, either.
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I'm not easily offended either, but I try to remember that people react differently to different situations based on their background, their previous experiences and just life in general. I don't necessarily think anybody is on a high horse here.

I like good manners, and I like when a man is a gentleman. I raised my son to open doors and carry heavier things for women. It isn't because he thinks that they are weak or incapable, it's because he respects them and wants to show them that he appreciates a woman. I don't understand anybody being offended by that. I am always flattered by this sort of treatment from a man.

Women who are offended should maybe think of it with a different perception. Look at it like a compliment, not an insult. I seriously doubt that there are many men out there trying to insult us women by being polite and gentlemanly. In my own life, if I am constantly getting treatment that is less than desireable from others, I always do a self check on myself. How am I behaving toward others? What can I do to improve myself and therefore improve how others perceive me and treat me? How we respond to someone else is completely our own choice. :)
 
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