Need Advice - Office Xmas Luncheon

melagras

melagras

Cathlete
I don't want to go my office Christmas luncheon anymore. I am sick of everyone getting drunk and making fools of themselves. The staff goes overboard drinking because its free. They end up getting puke sick. The attorneys (who are seasoned drinkers) order wine and single malt whiskeys that cost a small fortune. A couple of years ago, I was told one of the attorneys I work for was falling down drunk when he left the restaurant. I'm glad I had already left and didn't witness it.

At my last firm, we had a catered dinner at one of the partner's houses which was very elegant. No one made a fool of themselves and everyone had a relaxing, enjoyable evening. Not so where I am working now.

I don't know about you guys but I don't feel the need to drink until I get sick just because its free. I guess I have more respect for my body than others.

Is anyone out there sick of socializing with their bosses and fellow employees? I know I am.
 
melagras said:
I don't want to go my office Christmas luncheon anymore. I am sick of everyone getting drunk and making fools of themselves. The staff goes overboard drinking because its free. They end up getting puke sick. The attorneys (who are seasoned drinkers) order wine and single malt whiskeys that cost a small fortune. A couple of years ago, I was told one of the attorneys I work for was falling down drunk when he left the restaurant. I'm glad I had already left and didn't witness it.

At my last firm, we had a catered dinner at one of the partner's houses which was very elegant. No one made a fool of themselves and everyone had a relaxing, enjoyable evening. Not so where I am working now.

I don't know about you guys but I don't feel the need to drink until I get sick just because its free. I guess I have more respect for my body than others.

Is anyone out there sick of socializing with their bosses and fellow employees? I know I am.
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I've never been a drinker, and because of it I was considered somewhat anti-social person. I hate being around drunk people who make fool of themselves, but better them than me. :) My family has alway's been drinkers since a very young age and now in there teen and early 20's they drink like if it was the end of the world. Once I had my chidlren I knew that that was not the kind of environment I would want my kids to be around, so we stop going for festivities and holidays. My two oldest are 15 and 18 and I am proud to say that they have never touched a drop of alchohol!!
 
I am. I rarely ever go to office functions unless I have to. At every job I've had, I had been told that it is frowned upon if you don't go to the office parties...tough..I still don't go.

I worked at a company where the people got so drunk it was embarrassing. I remember I had to have a meeting with my boss because I never went to the office functions and he wanted to know why. I was honest with him and told him that I don't drink and drive and that I don't want to be around people that don't know when they have had enough. He was a very heavy drinker.

The company I work for now, has no money for office functions yet they still have them. A while back, my boss (who does not work in our office) came into the office and took everyone out to dinner. I told the whole office (in a meeting) that it was fiscally irresponsible since we didn't have any money. Everyone went to the dinner except for me.

The only other reason I don't go is that I am the only admin person in an engineering company and I have nothing in common with my co-workers. I would rather spend my free time with my family and friends.

Make a stand and don't go.
 
I agree with Jane. Don't go if it's against your values. It's against mine too. If they are all drunk, trust me, they won't notice or care that you're not there. And you will avoid uncomfortable moments such as being asked to give a ride to or attend to one of those sick-drunk people.

If it comes up, it is fine to say that you have a conflict or family responsibilities and can't attend. No detail required.

Stebby
 
Stebby said:
I agree with Jane. Don't go if it's against your values. It's against mine too. If they are all drunk, trust me, they won't notice or care that you're not there. And you will avoid uncomfortable moments such as being asked to give a ride to or attend to one of those sick-drunk people.

If it comes up, it is fine to say that you have a conflict or family responsibilities and can't attend. No detail required.

Stebby
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It is very possible something will come up with one of my parents that I could use as an excuse (neither one is in good health).
 
I believe it is perfectly ok to NOT go to the party if they get so offensively drunk. Really, being drunk is offensive and you do not have to expose yourself to that. Now, not that you would, but we don't have to act like a goody two shoes either. If someone asks why you don't go to the party, you can simply say you cannot. You don't owe anyone an explanation. However, if you are pushed, then there is nothing wrong with being honest and saying that you are fond of everyone in the office but you just aren't a drinker and are uncomfortable when you go.

I do not drink either and just about everyone in my office knows, But I am not snobbish about it. They all know I love 'em all. I just don't drink for a myriad of reasons, a few of them being the wasteful calories and unhealthy for crying out loud!

It is ok to OWN it!! I do and I think they respect my stance because I am not in a snit about the whole thing but am pleasant.
 
You might also go just for the start of the party, put in an appearance, and slip out before the objectionable stuff starts happening. Just an option. . .
 
I was going to suggest as exercise-lover said.... put in a brief appearance, have a sprakling water or 7 up, then excuse yourself for another committment, or just slip out. sometimes NOT being there at all can draw unwanted attention, whereas a brief appearance will will "cover" any perceived obligation to be there. no reason to stay more than a brief few minutes.
 
I am...If an office function occurs outside of normal work hours, I'm out. I don't feel obligated to attend. I don't enjoy being part of a booze fest. I am pretty much a non-drinker. Anyone who knows me knows that. I am constantly amazed at the peer-pressure by grown adults to drink. "Are you drinking?", "You're not drinking?", "Are you sure you don't want a drink?"...! If I wanted a drink, I'm sure I could manage on my own. I just don't get it! :confused:
 
My husband and I are on the opposite end of the spectrum, we are the ones putting on the party. Every year we have two functions, a Christmas dinner at a VERY nice restaurant with their spouses and in the Summer we invite our employees and their families to our place on the river.
We provide a boat to ski, tube etc. I cook all day for everyone. We love doing it. That being said, both my husband and I drink, however, we never drink at these functions.
Not all of our employees drink and we do not want to make anyone uncomfortable. Plus, I think it is very bad form for bosses to be intoxicated around employees. At the Summer event, we let them know that after a certain time of night, we are off the clock and will have an adult beverage, but by then, everyone is gone.
I wouldn't go to a party if you don't want to. After hours is your time and you should not feel bad about how you spend it.
Just my two cents worth.
 
My husband's department used to have a Christmas/Holiday Party at a steakhouse. The two women who planned the party used to get completely sauced and act like a couple of fools. My husband works in finance, so it's a pretty staid group. This one woman would take the DJs microphone and whoop and holler into it. She was also feeling up and grabbing the DJ, while whooping and hollering. She was married, too. She was walking around shouting at people while people were chatting over dinner. She was dancing a little suggestively and her dress would rise up. When it was time for the raffle, she was so blitzed. She was making inappropriate comments to the winners of the raffle. It was really uncomfortable. I don't think people should drink to excess at company functions. Professionally, it reflects poorly on the employee and people remember this type of behavior when it's time for raises/promotions, or worse yet, RIFs.

It was a fairly big (200+) party and the US CEO of the company was there! I can NOT imagine acting a fool in front of a CEO! Anyway, they discontinued those parties and now they are employee only (Thank goodness!). Oh, and Miss Drunken Tart no longer works at the company (Riffed).

I don't know what the culture is like at your law firm, but there was an expectation for employees to attend these events. If this is not an issue for you, skip it. I hated going to these Holiday Parties simply because of this woman's behavior.
 
Just don't go. If they're all tanked, they probably won't even notice. ;) I stopped going to office parties years ago. I figure I spend enough time w/these people already, I don't want to spend my precious free time w/them too.
 
LauraMax said:
Just don't go. If they're all tanked, they probably won't even notice. ;) I stopped going to office parties years ago. I figure I spend enough time w/these people already, I don't want to spend my precious free time w/them too.
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I guess I'm not the only person who doesn't like socializing with co-workers and bosses.
 
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