My ego has been crushed------by my DH!!!!!!

I put this question in the same category as "does this make me look fat?" Don't ask the question if you don't want an honest answer. Sorry, I can't fault the guy, so go ahead and bash me!
 
Husband sounds like mine. I too have been working out just less than 2 years doing Cathe workouts and jogging in the past. I ask my husband if my legs look better as they feel like steel from doing the Cathe workouts, but he says they still look the same...I still see a cellulite dimple there...oh, brother! Guess it just takes alot of time. Cathe has been working out for years, but keep going with it as I will too and soon enough the "steel" will work its way thru for your DH and the world to see. You know it is there, I am sure you feel toned just like I do. We are all working our butts off on this board, I am sure! All my young life I have been told I look like a beanpole and now people laugh when I mention I workout as if they are only thinking of "weight loss". We all know there are more benefits to working out then just weight loss...DUH!
More power to us all! Just like Tony Little says..."takes alittle sweat, and alittle determination" And I say, "then we can have it all"
Charlotte~~
 
In defense of DH's who are always in a no-win situation:

One of the things I hear women prate about the most is their resentment about being judged on their appearance, and how they wish / hope / expect their husbands / significant others to love them for themselves rather than their looks.

It could very well be that the Original Poster's DH simply loves his wife, including her looks however they may change over time, for herself as she is and doesn't do a complete body-check on her each and every day.

Far too often we put our husbands in the unfair position of our harassing a blessing out of them, in the guise of asking for an honest opinion. And far too often we work out for the wrong reasons - for compliments rather than for health and inner empowerment.

A-Jock
 
As the others have said, he didn't understand what you were asking. He notices that you look good - don't worry about that. But to be "OBVIOUS" that you're working out, probably it's not to the average bystander. Unless you have a body like Cathe, it's not really going to be obvious. I have people at work commenting on how small I am now. One of our VP's said I was "wasting away" the other day. They ask what I'm doing, if I'm eating...but no one ever asks if I've been working out.

We went out a couple weeks ago to a bar and met up with a whole bunch of our old friends who we unfortunately don't get to see frequently anymore. Every single one of them commented on how good I looked, but no one asked if I had been working out. One of them did ask how I could get better looking as I get older. He asked my husband and I just kind of pretended I didn't hear (I was actually getting sick of the subject). DH just responded, "you'll have to ask her what she's doing". I actually got called a MILF by one of my girlfriends who I haven't seen in 2 years.

So...as you can see...it's obvious to people that you're looking good. But not obvious WHAT you're doing to look good.

And, of course, men have lousy communication skills and they just don't know how to answer questions. That's one reason why mine talks so little.
 
Thanks everyone for your insight and for cheering me up.

Well, I told him when he got home that it bothered me about what he said. He replied "You're thin but I don't know what you were asking me."

Good enough for me-- He admitted being clueless so I'm happy with that.:)

Don't get me wrong, I do exercise for health and empowerment but once in a while it's nice to be recognized for your hard work.

Wendy
 
My hubby is the same way .He Never says anything about my weight ,even when I was ( and got) 48 pounds heavier.So I guess maybe they do Love us for us ,not our size if ya know what I mean.I do how ever just wait and wait for him to say something ,anything .They just dont get it ...But remember its about YOu You you anyway ..just keep taking care of yourself . :) :) :)
 
Ya know, you DID say, (and this is a direct quote from your post)"I have done Cathe workouts for over a year and am in the best shape of my life. I'm not saying I look like Cathe or anything but I have firmed up tremendously and am starting to show a slight bit of definition now. I am also about 25 pounds lighter than I was 2 years ago."

Having said that means you KNOW you look like you work out. You really did not even have to ask your husband that question. And he DID say, "You're thin."

I'm really glad you feel better now.
 
I keep a list of "10 Pretty Good Rules" at my desk. I got tickled when I saw your post.

Rule 6: Don't ask the question if you can't live with the answer.

But really...he does see you every day so he probably wouldn't notice a difference in your appearance as much as someone who only saw you once in awhile.
 
Go find someone that you haven't seen in a couple of years and ask them if they think you look like you work out. I bet their answer will be "Wow! You look great!" :7

Your hubby just hasn't noticed it because he's seen you the whole time. It's one of those things where you don't notice it when you're around it every day...but go away for a month and come back and it's like "Wow! What did you do?! You look great!"



:p
 
I'm sure he is proud of you and thinks you look great. It would be great if he would say so. I know how much it means to hear it. My DH is always squeezing my muscles and saying "Wow! That Cathe really works!" and other nice things just to encourage me. It means a lot. I have an idea. Next time he says something nice, tell him how much you love hearing it so he'll know how much it means to you. We all need encouragement.
 
>I'm sure he is proud of you and thinks you look great. It
>would be great if he would say so. I know how much it means to
>hear it. My DH is always squeezing my muscles and saying
>"Wow! That Cathe really works!" and other nice things just to
>encourage me. It means a lot. I have an idea. Next time he
>says something nice, tell him how much you love hearing it so
>he'll know how much it means to you. We all need
>encouragement.

Nancy,
Can I borrow your husband?

Wendy
 
OK Wendy, I tested this on my husband this morning. Now, he's already told me that I look awesome, so I know he's noticed the improvement in my body. So this morning I asked him if it was obvious that I work out. He tends to be a little more careful in answering questions, so he asked me what I meant. I asked if you could tell by looking at me that I work out. He looks carefully at my arms for a little bit and says, "it's hard to say..." Knowing how hard it is to get him to answer a question, I put it another way..."If you didn't KNOW that I work out and didn't KNOW what I looked like before I started working out, would you be able to tell that I work out now?" And he said, "no".

So there you go! It wouldn't be obvious to a stranger that you work out unless you look like Linda Hamilton in T2! Don't judge your man too harshly. He honestly didn't understand the question the way you meant it, he was being literal.
 
A MILF is quite vulgar, so I will not tell you EXACTLY what it means...but it's an acronym for "Mother I'd Like to...". It's from "American Pie". (A movie I didn't really like. I thought it was Generation Y's poor excuse for Generation X's "Fast Times at Ridgemont High")
 
Donna,that was a great idea! And you really put yourself out there!I know DH would have just answered yes.He likes to take the safe route.It may not be the truth but he doesn't get in trouble and thats all that matters:)
One of these days you will get people asking you though.Just give it another few monthes.If I wear something short sleeve ,I get asked.I guess when I am holding a drink;) or something my arms are flexed so thats when people notice.But then I get sheepish.I want people to notice that I work out but I don't want then to talk about it.
Lori:)
 
Wendy-
I'm going to tell my DH that you said that and he will love it. However, my suggestion still stands. Instead of asking him questions, encourage him to comment by letting him know how much you like it.

I also realize that what Donna is saying is true. Although we all work out, not many of us would be taken for body builders by strangers. And that's not what we're going for anyway.

-Nancy
 
<<If you didn't KNOW that I work out and didn't KNOW what I looked like before I started working out, would you be able to tell that I work out now?">>

LOVE that Donna.

If I asked my DH "that", he would blink twice, stare at me blankley and ask me if I could repeat that slowwwwwwwwwly

Marion

:)
 
You all are cracking me up. I feel much better now.

You all have made me realize that what I wasn't really asking him if I looked like a body builder. I was really asking him if he "can see a difference in me." I guess I need to be clearer when I ask sensitive questions like that. Well, now I know:)

I agree Lori, I can't wait till summer to show off my arms. I too want people to notice but not talk about it. I guess it's just the self-conscious side of me.

Thanks again, Wendy
 
Wendy,

Very few people think that I exercise and when they find out, a lot don't believe it. They think I was just "lucky" to be born with a body. Oh boy are they mistaken. :) I understand where you are coming from here b/c it bugs me to know that I dont have enough of a "fit" look to make everyone know that I am an avid exerciser. A lot of people made good points on this board that I won't repeat, except that if you want an accurate answer, ask a girlfriend that you see once a week or so. :)

Christine
 
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