>I probably would have asked her to explain to me what she
>meant by the obscene breakfast gesture. I would have probed
>her calmly but directly about why she did it, where she'd seen
>it, what it meant to her, the reaction she hoped to get, how
>others would perceive her actions, etc. My goal would have
>been to make her THINK about what she'd done and why so that
>she could make her own decision about whether it was
>appropriate. My "talking to her" about the appropriateness/
>inappropriateness of her actions wouldn't evoke as strong of a
>response as if she came to those conclusions herself. Also,
>engaging her in this thought-process action would help her to
>develop her own inner dialog with stuff like this in the
>future so that she'd "think twice" before adopting an
>undesirable behavior.
This is really good advice. I think doing this at 7 is better than doing it at 12. Good luck Donna.
I also wanted to say that it's not easier to raise boys. I was a very bad girl until I was 16 and then my brother took my place being bad when he was 15 and older.
>meant by the obscene breakfast gesture. I would have probed
>her calmly but directly about why she did it, where she'd seen
>it, what it meant to her, the reaction she hoped to get, how
>others would perceive her actions, etc. My goal would have
>been to make her THINK about what she'd done and why so that
>she could make her own decision about whether it was
>appropriate. My "talking to her" about the appropriateness/
>inappropriateness of her actions wouldn't evoke as strong of a
>response as if she came to those conclusions herself. Also,
>engaging her in this thought-process action would help her to
>develop her own inner dialog with stuff like this in the
>future so that she'd "think twice" before adopting an
>undesirable behavior.
This is really good advice. I think doing this at 7 is better than doing it at 12. Good luck Donna.
I also wanted to say that it's not easier to raise boys. I was a very bad girl until I was 16 and then my brother took my place being bad when he was 15 and older.