My 7 year old...oh the horror....

dss62467

dss62467

Cathlete
Over the last couple weeks I've noticed a change in my daughter. She's acting like...she's not a little girl anymore! Last Saturday, we were at a family gathering and I was drinking a Labatt's and she asked if she could have a sip. I said, "sure", thinking she'd back down. But...she took a sip! She even smiled through the experience!

The other day, my husband told me that while they were having breakfast that morning, she was eating waffles and he said to her "mmmm...sweet life giving waffles" and she said, "sweet life giving THIS" as she grabbed herself. WHAT THE....? She SO did not get that from us!

And yesterday, when I picked her up from day camp, she asked when she could have her own cell phone. I said maybe when she's 9. She was arguing that her friend has one now and why does she have to wait. Of course, I gave her the old "that's your friend's mother's decision. Not my problem". Then I asked her who she thought she'd be calling on that cell phone, because when she gets one, the only number it will call will be mine. Who would give their 7 year old a phone that lets them call their friends? What do 7 year olds have to talk about on a cell phone anyway? How their first sip of beer tasted? What their father's reaction was to doing a beligerant gesture over breakfast?

What have I got in store for me?
 
Oh Donna,
I am one of seven kids and don't know how my mother did it. I was such a brat!

I know this is none of my business but I don't think you should even get her a cell phone at 9. IMHO there's no need to have a cell phone until you have your license and the possibility of getting stranded, etc. arises.

I had quite the attitude with my parents but I never the obscene gesture thing at breakfast!! :) My parent's would've died! I can almost guarantee she's getting this stuff at school. Don't let her get away with it!

Allison
 
Oh Donna, I hear ya. Mine's 9 going on 10 (or 23). She's obsessed with having a cell phone. I told her when she's 12, at which point I will get her one because she'll no longer be eligible for any before-and-after school care programs, so she'll likely go to her dad's after school on her own and I need the security of being able to contact her.

She hasn't made any rude or obscene gestures, but there have been comments, followed by explanations from me because when I ask if she knows what she's talking about, she invariably doesn't.

Soon we'll have teenage girls. We're doomed:p
 
I have a 5 yo that's already giving me gray hair, and a 15 month old that I'm sure will do the same! My DS will be 9 next week, and I truly believe that boys are sooooo much easier than girls!!!!!
 
Doesn't it seem like kids are growing up faster these days!?! I am a little scared of what my little girl will have to face when she gets older.
 
Hang in there...last year my darlin daughter went to school turned around with her backside to a boy put one hand on one cheek and another hand on the other cheek (backside mind you) and said "you know you want this" Let's just say I had a meeting at school over it and she was really embarrassed...She said her friend did it toooo
:eek: She was in 5th grade... Lord help us moms!!;)


duck
 
Can't we all just blame Britney for this??:7 Thank god I do not have a child, I swear I would be the most overbearing, worst parent imaginable, I swear I would take my kid and go live in a cave until they turned 21!
 
It's the media!! Where else would they be getting that kind of stuff from. I agree with the previous poster - blame Britney (and Lindsey and Paris). And unfortunately, I am serious. That's who/what they see, so that's what they emulate. Yikes. Glad I don't have any.
 
God, I'm so glad I don't have kids.

I was in a store the other day, and three little girls ran by, they were probably about nine, singing, "Hit me baby, one more time!" So, is that like a golden oldie now. Were those kids even BORN when that song was first released? THAT's the song that will last for generations of pre-teens to come.
 
Donna:

you don't have to let her get away with making rude gestures like that. It is not acceptable behaviour for a child. Even my 13 year old would not dream of it.

I am getting my daughter a cell phone only now because she starts high school next month and may keep different hours to me and I need to know where she is. A 7 year old does not need nor merit a cell phone of her own.

All this "but my friend has got one" crap is just that: crap. So, nip it in the bud now by making it very clear that she doesn't get stuff just because she wants it. My mum always used to say to us, "I want doesn't get" and she was very firm.

YOur kid needs lines of acceptable behaviour drawing for her, so you can push back against all the friend/media/school oriented bullshit that makes kids today into adult-wannabes. I'm not saying you don't already have some drawn: but it sounds like they could do with being reinforced.

Clare
 
Donna,

I'm so sorry for you, hopefully in years to come you can look back at this and laugh.

I also have a 9yr old step daughter, she's a great kid but sometimes when they get around others they think they can pull the same nonsense as thier friends. Nip it in the bud now, let her know what behaviors are unacceptable in your home or anywhere for that matter. Add consquences if you have too. She's most likely imating things she sees at camp or at school or even tv.

As for the cell phone DH and I have also been asked this question and my answer was this: there is no need for you at 9 to have a cell phone, there is no where that you will be that is not supervised by an adult, and any adult you are with will have a cell phone if you need to call me or daddy. I also told her 12 we could talk about a cell phone again.

Kids need boundaries, and they will test those boundaries. Be strong and stick to your guns.

You'll make it through!!

Jenn
 
Well, I can't blame Britney for this because my daughter doesn't even know who Britney is, nor the other girls. I'll blame the other kids at day camp.

She doesn't watch anything where she'd get the groin grab...she's into Drake and Josh, Spongebob and Fairly Odd Parents. Literally, that's all she watches. Oh, but she has discovered Smurfs.

I wasn't there for the groin grab, but my husband tells me he did speak to her about it.

But, thanks for the advice on the phone everyone. Maybe I will wait until she's 12. You're right, she won't ever be somewhere unsupervised before that. And maybe not even then.
 
Donna...as the mother of 3 girls aged 13, 16 and 18 I would suggest that you practise and master the art of not reacting when they are telling you things you don't really want to hear but most certainly need to know:) I'm pretty good at this but couldn't draw on it when my daughter recently said to me "if I go on the pill do you want to know?":eek: :eek: My answer "doesn't matter 'cause I think you just told me". God love her, she's been seeing her boyfriend a while now, I really like him. They are lovely and caring with each other so what can I do but talk and educate:)
I could write a book about the antics of living with teens, it's crazy making stuff, fills my heart and I wouldn't have missed it for the world:)

Good luck to you honey, you are gonna need it ;)

Take Care
Laurie
 
>Donna...as the mother of 3 girls aged 13, 16 and 18 I would
>suggest that you practise and master the art of not reacting
>when they are telling you things you don't really want to hear
>but most certainly need to know:) I'm pretty good at this but
>couldn't draw on it when my daughter recently said to me "if I
>go on the pill do you want to know?":eek: :eek: My answer "doesn't
>matter 'cause I think you just told me". God love her, she's
>been seeing her boyfriend a while now, I really like him.
>They are lovely and caring with each other so what can I do
>but talk and educate:)
>I could write a book about the antics of living with teens,
>it's crazy making stuff, fills my heart and I wouldn't have
>missed it for the world:)
>
>Good luck to you honey, you are gonna need it ;)
>
>Take Care
>Laurie

Laurie,

I applaud you for your openness with your daughters. My mom was very similar. I'll tell ya I was the only girl I know that got on the pill, had my boyfriend (now husband) go to the health department and have all the test ran (even though I was also his "first", hey got to be sure!) and used a condom my first time (at age 17 which was later than most of my peers). I was not ashamed or embarrassed to tell my mom that things were getting serious and I wanted to be on the pill just in case. I was on the pill 9 months before I needed it!

My mom also knew that teenagers *may* drink and I always knew I could call her if I was in a situation where I couldn't drive or needed a ride because the person I was with had been drinking. I only needed to call her once and I didn't get in trouble...she thanked me for calling her and the next day we talked about the situation.

Most of my girl friends had very strict parents and couldn't tell them ANYTHING. Quite frankly they were the ones that made the worst decisions (i.e. drinking, sex, drugs, etc.). I guess the strictness made them rebel...I'm not sure.

Anyway I don't know where I'm going with this but I had to respond to your post...it reminded me so much of how my mom was with me. :)
 
Thanks Tracey:) I couldn't talk to my Mom about anything, she was too old fashioned and too Catholic to be receptive. It's hard finding a balance in parenting between strict and compassionate to the plight of the teen but I think I've come pretty close. Nice that you had such an open Mom and that you can draw on your memories and experiences when your turn to parent teens comes:)

Take Care
Laurie
 
This is why I don't want to have kids until I can afford to stay home and home-school them.

As far as that whole cell phone thing goes, my answer would be that they can get a cell phone when they can afford to pay for it themselves. If they need a cell phone before then, they can take mine and then promptly return it to me when they get back. Rules would be "no texting" and no calls to anyone other than me or my hubby. If they break these rules, one of their privileges would be revoked or they would have to do chores without an allowance for a day or a week, depending on the infraction.

On a more reassuring note: I had a little bit of a hellyon streak in me when I was younger, but I turned out just fine. I probably would have asked her to explain to me what she meant by the obscene breakfast gesture. I would have probed her calmly but directly about why she did it, where she'd seen it, what it meant to her, the reaction she hoped to get, how others would perceive her actions, etc. My goal would have been to make her THINK about what she'd done and why so that she could make her own decision about whether it was appropriate. My "talking to her" about the appropriateness/ inappropriateness of her actions wouldn't evoke as strong of a response as if she came to those conclusions herself. Also, engaging her in this thought-process action would help her to develop her own inner dialog with stuff like this in the future so that she'd "think twice" before adopting an undesirable behavior.
 
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