Learning to drive

[wlorrie]

Hi All,

I'm 41 and for the first time in my life, I am going to start driving. I originally got my license when I was 19, kept renewing it, but never really drove. For all of my adult life, I've lived in cites where having a car was not necessary. Now I live in a big city (Philly), but not having transportation is greatly limiting my socially and with job prospects. It's time to get a car.

I really don't have any family or friends nearby who could teach me, so I signed up for a driving lessons Plus I'm a nervous driver. I have taken a few lesson and will probably need to take a few more to build up my confidence. I'm really nervous about driving by myself .

How long did it take you guys to feel confident about driving? How soon did you get your car? I'm wondering If I should just take lesson until I feel very super confident (which could cost me a fortune) or if I should take a few more lesson, buy a car and just practice on my own?

Thanks!
Lorrie

 

[JeanneMarie]

Good for you that you're going to venture out into a whole new world! Living where (and how) I do, I cannot imagine not driving. I've been driving for 43 years. I got my first car at age 16 and have been driving ever since. I drive 15,000 - 20,000 miles per year. It's not unlike me to jump in the car and drive to the coast (6 hours) or even farther. It's a lifestyle for sure. I think you'll really enjoy the independence.

One thing for sure, there is no better teacher than experience on your own. I remember that from my youth, but I also remember it from teaching my son, who has been driving for 12 years now. You really don't get good at it until you are forced to make your own decisions by yourself. I think it's great that you're getting lessons to start with, but my advice would be to discontinue the lessons and strike out on your own.

 

[desertambrosia]

Like JeanneMarie, I have been driving most of my life. I got my license at 16, and a VW Bug the next near. I've never been without some kind of vehicle. Your own experience IS the best experience. Good luck, and definitely "strike out on your own." You will love the independence that driving brings.

 

[katie lee]

I think that any skill we start when we are children is easier because we have no fear. I would suggest you start driving in rural areas where there is not a lot of traffic then as you get more experience and confidence expand to a little busier area.

 

[CeciFifi]

Hi Lorrie,

I learned to drive at age 35. I am now 50. I started learning to drive at age 30 but put off practicing for years. I did this 'cos we only had a standard car which was scary for me - especially cos of the rolling, stalling etc. When I got my licence - my DH finally bought an automatic. I was veryyyyyyyyyyyyyy nervous to drive on my own. I only had my DH to help me practice so I used a driver's ed company too. They were a big help. This is what I learned. The automatic is soooooooooooooooooooo easy to learn on - in comparison. And, practice makes perfect. Also, I avoided highways until I absolutely had to drive on them - and then it was pretty easy. I shouldn't have stressed so much. I am not 100% confident but I am pretty good on the road. i follow the rules, signal lane changes and stop at reds/stop signs and yellow lights if it's safe. Believe in yourself. If 16 years olds can do it with excitement, you can do it too - even if it's with trepidation! Go for it. Your whole world will open up. Mine did.

 

[JeanneMarie]

I think that any skill we start when we are children is easier because we have no fear. I would suggest you start driving in rural areas where there is not a lot of traffic then as you get more experience and confidence expand to a little busier area.

Interesting thought. I actually think the opposite. Just for the sake of discussion, I think it would be much easier to learn as the adult I am now because I am less fearful now than I was then. I do know it's easier to learn things when you are young, like a foreign language, but as far as the fear factor, I am thinking I was much more scared as a teen than I would be now. Everybody is different though!

 

[wlorrie]

Wow, thanks for the tips and the encouragement! I still have 3 driving lessons left in the package I paid for. I will complete those and then venture out on my own. I 'm really looking for ward to this next chapter even though I'm super nervous.
Again, I really appreciate the encouragement.
Lorrie

 

[katie lee]

Interesting thought. I actually think the opposite. Just for the sake of discussion, I think it would be much easier to learn as the adult I am now because I am less fearful now than I was then. I do know it's easier to learn things when you are young, like a foreign language, but as far as the fear factor, I am thinking I was much more scared as a teen than I would be now. Everybody is different though!

Well JeanneMarie, I was thinking along the lines of skiing (both water and downhill) and other sports like skating ect. As children zip around me in all these sports with the appearence of no fear. LOL

 

[JeanneMarie]

Well JeanneMarie, I was thinking along the lines of skiing (both water and downhill) and other sports like skating ect. As children zip around me in all these sports with the appearence of no fear. LOL

Very true! Haha! I would attribute the fact that they zip around is in those kinds of sports to their youthful bodies. They are much more flexible and agile.

 

[lioness]

I was a very fearful driver when I learned in high school. Even though I took driver's education in school my dad and mom both tried to teach me but it was my older sister who was more calm. It took me 2 tries to pass the driving portion of my test (to get my license) and then I did not drive for a long time. I had no confidence. I lived in a suburb of Chicago and took buses and the train to go places or I made my twin sister drive. I finally got a job where I had no choice but to drive so I drove around with my twin sister and after that I was fine. I guess I had no choice. Now I love driving. I actually drive 60 miles round trip to work everyday.

I think it's great what you are doing. I would finish with the lessons and then hit the road. You will gain confidence by driving on your own.

 

[DirtDiva]

I got my license at 16, and a VW Bug the next near.

Me too! A yellow SuperBeetle year 1972. Omg the memories of no heat in the winter, ice or fog on the windows and it dying at every stop. Learning to drive a stick was fun to me.

To the original poster, you are going to be awesome! Vehicles today are so much easier to drive then back in the day. I think the most frustrating thing for me was getting lost, and if you have a smart phone, that solves that problem. Learn to match speed while merging onto highways and slow down enough when people are merging in. Another thing, don't solely rely on mirrors, look at your rear-view mirror but then also glance over your right shoulder to cover any blind spot. Same with the driver side rear mirror, look over your left shoulder too.

 

[wlorrie]

Thanks everyone. I have 2 lessons left and am feeling more confident. Just need to get the parallel parking down!
Lorrie

 

[snowlover]

I had to laugh about the parallel parking. I failed my first try (had to learn a standard and took my test on it which took a little longer learning and practicing) just because of stupid, useless parallel parking. I literally haven't parallel parked since I passed my test about 30 years ago because I've never had the need.
Anyway, I think just like anything: practice, practice, practice. Just remember in today's world there are many idiots out there completely oblivious: they are too busy playing with their smartphones. NEVER use your phone while driving and you will be a much better and safer driver.
Don't be afraid of a standard transmission. If you do a lot of city driving you won't want it but if you are like me, driving on lots of rural roads through all sorts of weather conditions (blizzard anyone?) a standard is a must. I think car control is so much better and you are much more aware of your speed.
Good luck and enjoy the freedom the driving provides!

 

[PhyllisG]

I learned to drive at 41 also. Same thing......always lived in urban areas so no need or place for a car. Then I moved to a small town and had to drive to go grocery shopping, kids sports and play dates etc. My DH taught me. I got my license and bought a car immediately. I found I liked driving on my own. I felt more relaxed and confident. Freedom! No longer asking for rides, waiting on someone else. Years later my kids told me how proud they were of me for learning to drive. So good luck.

 

[RapidBreath]

I started driving when I was 19 years old. My brother, Dad, and Mom took turns teaching me. I do not recommend being without an instructor. It took me about two years to really be confident. I recommend practicing with some orange cones so that you can learn where the edges of your car are, especially for parking.

You can do it!

Hi All,

I'm 41 and for the first time in my life, I am going to start driving. I originally got my license when I was 19, kept renewing it, but never really drove. For all of my adult life, I've lived in cites where having a car was not necessary. Now I live in a big city (Philly), but not having transportation is greatly limiting my socially and with job prospects. It's time to get a car.

I really don't have any family or friends nearby who could teach me, so I signed up for a driving lessons Plus I'm a nervous driver. I have taken a few lesson and will probably need to take a few more to build up my confidence. I'm really nervous about driving by myself .

How long did it take you guys to feel confident about driving? How soon did you get your car? I'm wondering If I should just take lesson until I feel very super confident (which could cost me a fortune) or if I should take a few more lesson, buy a car and just practice on my own?

Thanks!
Lorrie

 

[wlorrie]

In case anyone cares, I bought my first car today and made the 23 mile trip home by myself. I avoided the expressway and made it home in one piece. I was nervous since I was not familiar with the area of the dealership and I was by myself. After I closed the deal, I just said a prayer and took off. Thanks for pushing me!
Lorrie

 

[DirtDiva]

Awesome, just go places that are easy for right now. You are going to be just fine at this!

In case anyone cares, I bought my first car today and made the 23 mile trip home by myself. I avoided the expressway and made it home in one piece. I was nervous since I was not familiar with the area of the dealership and I was by myself. After I closed the deal, I just said a prayer and took off. Thanks for pushing me!
Lorrie

 

[~Elsie]

In case anyone cares, I bought my first car today and made the 23 mile trip home by myself. I avoided the expressway and made it home in one piece. I was nervous since I was not familiar with the area of the dealership and I was by myself. After I closed the deal, I just said a prayer and took off. Thanks for pushing me!
Lorrie

You inspire me. I'll be 38 this coming birthday & do not drive. Same story as most - was in college so no money & then just lived in cities where parking etc. is way more trouble than just taking transit, plus transit & walking is the green choice for me. There have been a few times when driving was needed though and I'll be moving to a smaller region next year, so I will have to take the plunge. I also need to get over my fear of driving over bridges. As a passenger, it just unnerves me. ......I know it's strange! lol

 

[DirtDiva]

There have been a few times when driving was needed though and I'll be moving to a smaller region next year, so I will have to take the plunge. I also need to get over my fear of driving over bridges. As a passenger, it just unnerves me. ......I know it's strange! lol

Not strange at all. I teach and lead group rides (mountainbiking) and find that one of the hardest things is to lead newbies over expanses of water. Most bridges are wood board walks about 8 to 12 inches wide and can go for hundreds of feet. What I teach is first, you must commit. Second, you must pin your eyes either at the end of the bridge, or if the expanse is too long, pin them 6 feet ahead and no looking sideways. Your brain will follow where you your eyes look and you will be stable, believe it or not. For instance, stand with one leg up, eyes open, now do it eyes closed and feel the instability. The last thing is pedal with slight braking action to gain control, same as when driving. I bet if you did this, you will feel in control, rather then looking down at the water as a passenger.

 

[tralaiven]

Hi All,

I'm 41 and for the first time in my life, I am going to start driving. I originally got my license when I was 19, kept renewing it, but never really drove. For all of my adult life, I've lived in cites where having a car was not necessary. Now I live in a big city (Philly), but not having transportation is greatly limiting my socially and with job prospects. It's time to get a car.

I really don't have any family or friends nearby who could teach me, so I signed up for a driving lessons Plus I'm a nervous driver. I have taken a few lesson and will probably need to take a few more to build up my confidence. I'm really nervous about driving by myself .

How long did it take you guys to feel confident about driving? How soon did you get your car? I'm wondering If I should just take lesson until I feel very super confident (which could cost me a fortune) or if I should take a few more lesson, buy a car and just practice on my own?

Thanks!
Lorrie

You will probably, most likely be fine if you just drive and take the plunge. Just go slowly and go short distances, working up gradually. I see it similar to exercising. We start with what we can do, going slowly and taking it easy until we understand what we are doing and working up our strength. You should really be fine if you don't put too much pressure on yourself.