I agree with you, Govtgirl. When I first started to work out and lose weight (60 pounds and 10 sizes, thus far) I used to go over to the message boards at T-nation.com and argue with the men about what I perceived as their lack of charity towards overweight people. The general consensus of EVERYONE Over There (and the topic was about fit men and their perceptions of fat women, sexually) was that people who aren't fit are making choices that are wrong, that they know they're wrong, and they're too lazy to do the work to clean up their act. Man, did I argue. It was me against the masses Over There.
Now, 60 pounds lighter (and counting), I have to admit (here, not Over There
) that Those Boys were essentially right. I didn't think so then. But so many remarks made then are hitting home now in regards to my own choices and behaviors, then and now. I remember one guy saying something to the effect that fat people want the information fed to them regarding how to do it, then they want more info and more; but when you ask them if they're following the directions you gave them a month ago, guess what? They're not. I have definitely found this to be true. Everyone's asking me how I did it and am continuing to do it with a bright hopeful light in their eyes, like they want to know the name of my magic pill. But as soon as I start talking diet and exercise it's like I'm letting the air out of their tires and the more I say the flatter they get. They don't want to hear about heavy weights, protein, and vegetables and I'm wasting my breath. But if I talked about pills and liquid diet drinks, they could wrap their heads around that. Imagine. They'd rather drink their meal than eat their vegetables. Why?
I have learned that if you're doing everything you can and you're still not losing the weight and changing your body comp the everything you THINK you're doing is all in your head. In most cases, you're lying to yourself hoping you won't figure it out so you can still eat that brownie or those fries. In the end, it IS your fault and until you accept responsibility for your own self, with an eye on permanent change, you're living in Fantasyland. I know now I lied to myself for DECADES and once I really got serious about doing my research (reading everything is crucial) and getting off my butt EVERYTHING changed. And consistency was essential. In my fight with the T-Nation boys, though, I was very disturbed by the tone of their arguments. I recall saying at one point that I was taught to be respectful of ALL people and that if you're offended because someone else is fat YOU'RE the one with issues. I mean, why in the Hell are you concerned about the weight of someone else, someone who is minding their own business and not asking for "help" from you? My feelings on this still stand. Until someone asks it's none of my concern. However, my feelings towards those who constantly blather on about their weight, when nothing ever changes, are very different... Thus Kirstie Alley (and Oprah) really piss me off.
When Alley came on Oprah the first time I thought the bikini fashion show was ridiculous and her chatter indicated to me (and I was still quite fat at the time) that she wasn't truly engaged in her change. She was simply eating what the JC people sent her. Big deal. However, if you pay attention to the attitude of Valerie Bertinelli it's a night and day difference. I can feel Bertinelli's seriousness and commitment to a better LIFE. She may slide a bit but she's not doing the celebrity thing where she loses, gains a little, gets harassed by the tabloids, then loses, then gains... Bertinelli gets the whole picture and has obviously done the groundwork. You don't get abs like that sitting on the sofa waiting for Jenny Craig to deliver your chow. She is ENGAGED in her life. Alley just isn't. She's too invested in being the funny fat girl, evidently unaware that there are funny fit girls, too. I was so irritated with all Alley's giggling and coquettishness during the Oprah interview that I finally got fed up and started playing on the computer, occassionally rolling my eyes at the silliness going on between her and Oprah. Kirstie Alley will never be a fit girl. Nothing wrong with that, IF she'd just shut up about it. But if she insists on blathering on about the okay-ness of her alleged efforts (with Oprah nodding along... please) I have better things to do.
