I think I need to get out....

lrhollid

Cathlete
I think I need to leave this week; my husband just showed me how unstable he is, and I think this might escalate. I posted last week about what happened then; well, things have been alright this week. He was sad Monday, Tuesday better, and seemed fine by the end of the week. Last night when I went to bed, he came in to talk to me. It was the best conversation we had ever had: he said he was sorry for what had happened earlier in our marriage, that he was going to try and work on things with a counselor, that he wanted to be a better husband. It was very civil and rational; I felt better after we 'talked'. This morning, he was in a great mood, very helpful, sweet; we had a good conversation at breakfast, all seemed well.

I went shopping with my sister all day. He called when I was driving down to see her just to say that he loved me and that he thought I looked pretty today.

When I get home, however, he's looking like someone shot the dog-- dark circles under his eyes, a very intense odd look. As I put my things up, he keeps telling me how he got scared today and that he loved me more than anything. I can't get him to relax.

He follows me when I try to go to bed to 'talk', except this time he keeps repeating "Tell me what I've done wrong, If I do something wrong tell me." I cannot get him to stop; everything I say he keeps coming back to that or wanting to know why we can't talk. A pure hour of this. He also mentions that he wants to come with me to see the marriage counselor tomorrow morning (A-jock-- you warned me about this!!!!) He keeps at it until I snap and start crying. Only then will he agree to stop and go take a bath like he planned.

I lost it after that-- I threw a water bottle at the wall and came upstairs. Ten minutes later, he's followed me up here. I tell him to leave me alone, now is not a good time to talk, I'm mad. He's still got that nutty look. He's back fifteen minutes later. I've got the door locked at this point.

He's unstable-- I need to get out, soon I think, before this gets worse and believe me, I think it is. Do I need to get in touch with a lawyer asap? He's not going to be able to take care of the mortgage or anything, the state he's in. Has anyone been through this? Advise me!!!
 
Hi

I am so sorry. Mine never got that far, but I am really concerned for your physical well being. If he is that unstable, I would say get out NOW for your safety, and worry about the finances later.

I do hope you get out soon and he gets the help he needs for your sake.

(((hugs)))

Stay strong.
 
I feel terrible for you! ITA with above poster--I think your personal safety is at risk so get out TODAY! I was genuinely scared for you reading your post. Stay with a friend immediately and take legal action to keep him away.

Jonahnah
Chocolate IS the answer, regardless of the question.
 
LRHollid, get out. Find a safe place to stay with your children, get in touch with a local women's shelter to discuss your options, and go. Now.

A-Jock
 
Please leave now, today. You could always be overreacting, but if you stay and someone gets hurt...just please get the kids and go. Do what the above poster said. Call your police dept and ask them for a women's shelter.
 
Sending more {{{HUGS}}} your way, too! Please take everyone's advice, and leave now. The financial stuff will work its way out, and you need to ensure your safety and happiness!!
 
I agree - I got the creeps just reading it. Seriously, I felt scared myself. He sounds like the kind of person who could easily just snap and hurt you. I would just get out and DO NOT, under any circumstance, break down and tell him where you are, at least not until you know he is more stable. I don't know you, but I don't want to hear about you on the news...

You have to listen to what your intuition is telling you, and that seems to be to get out. He needs help and it sounds like it has gone beyond just garden variety depression. My brother has dealt with serious depression - the gloomy face, moving like he is underwater and in slow motion, he can get so down he can barely speak or open his eyes (thankfully, he has moved past this and is doing much better.) Never, even once, though, did be get scary. He was pathetic and even though it was difficult to be around him like that, it was what he needed to pull through. From what I read from you, your husband is not this way at all - he seems to have anger and he is not stable, and it's like he is stalking you - that is what is scary. I will say a prayer for you.

Shana
 
A couple questions...How long have you been married? How long has it been this way? Did something recently happen or is this pretty typical of him for a long time now? Please get yourself in a safe place. I will keep you in my prayers.

Clarissa
 
I read your post from last week to catch up on things, and I would really urge you to go someplace safe and don't tell him where you are. Go immediately...you can figure everything out later.

The "intense odd look" you describe frightens me just a bit. Whether your husband is mentally ill or manipulative really doesn't matter at this point. You must follow your gut instinct - if something seems odd, then it IS odd. You've lived with this man for many years, so you may be too close to notice some things. For instance, you've probably experienced "odd" behavior from him so routinely that it doesn't raise flags anymore, which is precisely why, now that it's odd enough for you to note, then you need to leave.

And remember...manipulators/the mentally ill are very adept at making everyone around them think THEY'RE the ones with the problem; it's how they survive. They're crazymakers. They'll use every emotion you're feeling against you - and believe me, they know what you're feeling because they're the one who created the ________ (fill in the space: anxiety, fear, rage, guilt, shame) in the first place.

This isn't about being a "good" wife or anything else...remove any emotion and just look at the facts of your current situation...Please keep safe!
 
When people start acting the way your husband is, it's sometimes time to have his loved ones get together and have him put under observation. I really think there is some kind of mental problem going on, that may end up being a danger to him or to you.
 
I think you've gotten some wonderful advice here, and I think you already know exactly what you need to do from the way you wrote your post.

I wish you luck, send you good vibes and prayers. I hope you can get him some help and get out--probably get out first.

[font face="comic sans ms" font color=green]***Lainie***
fitness blog: http://fitnessfig.blogspot.com
http://bestsmileys.com/exercising/7.gif
If you want to give God a good laugh, tell Her your plans.[/font]
 

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