How much does weight affect your happiness?

LauraMax

LauraMax

Cathlete
I have to confess, when I gained that 10 lbs last year I got depressed. Really depressed. It took me a few months to adjust to it, but even then I was unhappy. I started wearing baggy shirts in my basement when I worked out b/c I didn't want to see myself. Even when I got dressed or undressed I tried not to look in the mirror.

Now that I've lost the 10, my entire outlook has changed. I'm happier, optomistic & more upbeat, even though I hate the food I'm eating.

Some of this has to do w/how I feel about my appearance, but I think some of it is psychological too. Like, I thought I was failing b/c I couldn't be the weight I wanted to be. And part of it is almost as if my identity has always been tied to being "the thin girl" or "the girl in good shape." :confused:

Now I'm starting to wonder if I have some kind of stupid body dysmorphia or something. I've been accused of this in the past & just blew it off. But why should my weight be so intertwined w/my self confidence? I have lots of other stuff to offer besides being the perfect size. I suppose if I do have issues it's a good thing they're manifested in a healthy way & I'm not starving myself or sticking my finger down my throat.

And I'm only now realizing it b/c I'm back to my goal weight & feel so much better emotionally.

Does anyone else feel this way? How do you cope? Or is this just the typical feeling of inferiority b/c of the pics we're bombarded w/in magazines, on TV & in movies every day?
 
Hi Laura,
I'm the same way. I hope that others have some suggestions as to how to tackle this.

I'm gaining weight at the moment (I'm convinced, although I haven't and won't step on a scale) due being hypo-thyroid. The Synthroid I take hasn't fully kicked in yet, and in the meantime while I've been taking it, I've been STARVING. Thus, eating all of the time.

I get depressed and withdraw when I feel like this, too.
My weight is very tied in to my self esteem, and I'd love a better way to deal with it.
 
First of all Laura I've peeked at your pictures & remember seeing you at the RT & you look awesome. I can't imagine 10 lbs would change that!! You have so much to be proud of.

That said I can easily tell you that but I don't practice what I preach ! :confused: I'm up 5lbs & feel like crap, a looser for not having control & just plain YUCK!!

The working out is never a problem it's that darn food. How nice it is for dogs - really. They have someone who feeds them exact portions & when they eat it, it's done. (OK maybe not for my Maggie who is also having food issues & won't stay out of the garbage!! :mad::mad::mad:)

We have a dietician at our church who has dieting classes several times a year. She doesn't call them diet classes, can't think of what she calls them but you get the idea. Getting control over our eating . I would love to attend - not to sound vain but I have seen the women who take these classes & they are overweight. I'm afraid if I walk in they will be like "Yay right, what does she have to worry about?" Know what I mean?
I have food issues.

To answer your question - NO you are not the only one.
 
My weight definitely affects my happiness. About two years ago, I lost a lot of weight and was probably the healthiest I ever have been. I was eating clean and exercising regularly and literally felt like I had a light bounce to my step. I got pregnant last winter and swore I wouldn't gain my usual 50-plus pregnancy pounds, and I started out well, but then when we had a little bit of a scare with the baby (he was OK), I turned to food for comfort and quit exercising for fear that I might hurt him. I gained those 50 pounds for the third time. And now I weigh 40 pounds more than I did when I was at that optimal weight two years ago. I no longer have that light feeling when I walk. It's hard for me to get through a high-impact step workout of Cathe's, where I used to breeze through them and then do 30 minutes on the eliptical. I am having trouble sticking to clean eating because 40 pounds seems like such an amazing amount of weight to conquer. I don't go out much because I don't want people to see how big I am now. That inner joy is really not there. I am so truly very happy to be a mom of three, and my baby is so worth the weight. He's truly amazing (as are all my boys), but I still feel sad about this weight.

I heard someone say that those people who say,"I'd be happy if I only weighed X-amount" are disillusioned, but that's not true. I really WAS happy when I weighed less. So yes, I do think weight and happiness are tied together.

Wow. That was cathartic!
 
Your post really struck a chord. My weight is totally tied to my hapiness. If I'm up, I'm sad, mad, unhappy, bitter, depressed, and feel just plain ugly. If I'm down, it's just the opposite. I think that a large part of who I am in my head is the "healthy woman" who works out and watches what she eats, so when my body doesn't reflect that, I get upset. I wish it weren't so, but there it is.

I'm trying to have more balance in my life, so my whole self-esteem isn't tied to weight and image, but it is always a battle.
 
My happiness and weight were very much tied into each other for years. When I first started gaining weight in my early 30s, I was stunned. I swear I went through some of the stages of grief: Shock, denial, guilt, anger, etc. At one point, I even tried exercising twice and day while skipping dinner in an attempt to get back to my original, "magic" number. (Didn't work, by the way. Not a single ounce budged.)

A few things then happened my life that I think helped to take the focus off of my weight. I started studying Buddhism, which is all about dealing with our attachments and the suffering they bring. I also had a breast cancer scare, which ended up totally fine, but I was sweatin' it out for a few weeks. An extra 10 lbs. was the least of my worries.

Then I found Cathe and made the commitment to use exercise in a positive way, not as a way to validate my existence according to society's sometimes ridiculous expectations. I am not the size of my waist. I am not my cup size. I am not the curve of my nose or the length of my hair. I am instead someone's mother, someone's wife, someone's daughter, sister, friend. I have been and may be again someone's good Samaritan. I have been and may be again someone's voice of reason and/or measure of comfort. I just may be the source of a badly needed laugh in someone's otherwise stressful day.

For all that...all we accomplish throughout our days...and for all we need to learn, we need strong arms, steady legs, and a healthy heart. Our bodies are only vehicles ~ we tune 'em up so we can be as powerful, inspiring, and resilient as possible. :)
 
I really don't obsess about it. I certainly don't like when I put some weight on, but it doesn't affect my mood too much. The only thing that really bothers me about it is having pants that felt so good become uncomfortable.
 
You know what Laura....I was having this conversation in my head this morning....I was at my lowest 119....120 -125 is where I normally stay....well since the summer I have put on 10 POUNDS (135lb) and I HATE IT!!! I feel big even though I know I am not.....but its fustrating I think because it felt great when I maintained between 120-125 and just want to kick myself for letting those 10 pounds back on....I am in the process of getting them back off because I DO FEEL BETTER between 120-125 As women a big part of who we is in our appearance....not only our size...but how we dress...our hair etc..... :(

Sorry, no solution just that you are not alone....I can relate!
 
Laura,

I'm much happier when I'm the size I'm suppose to be. For me is a size eight. I'd like to go lower, but not just yet. I have to tell you, YOU LOOK FANTASTIC!

Janie
4760884_bodyshot_175x233.gif
 
Aw! You guys are sweet! So I don't have a mental disorder LOL. I do feel better about that.

I really do think it's society. But you know what's sad? If I'd lived in the days when voluptuous women were considered the ideal I still wouldn't have fit in, lacking any curves.

I wish there was some way to make real women the ideal. Notice how long the Dove ads lasted? :mad:
 
Weight definitely affects my happiness.

Last summer I lost the rest of my baby weight and reached a new level of fitness, lost 5 extra pounds from where I was before baby came along and even dropped a clothing size. I felt like I was the bomb. Every day wasn't "perfect" in terms of me being happy (who is happy all the time?!), but on the whole being slim and fit definitely impacted my outlook on life. I felt happier a lot more than when I was bigger/heavier.

I regained 10 pounds this past fall due to emotional eating and am back on track now and trying to lose 6-7 more pounds. I feel good where I am right now because I can see the finish line ... but, it's still a daily struggle.

A co-worker said to me the other day "You're so small" and for an instant I felt elated but then I remembered all the fat rolls on my stomach and all the pants hanging in my closet that I can't fit into. I wear a size 2 now, but they are snug. And at my "prime" - haha - I was wearing a size 0. I think there's a little bit of a backlash when you are so-called already small and trying to lose weight. I can relate to the other poster who said they want to go to the diet class with larger women but is afraid of them thinking, "Why are you here?"

I'm a poster-child for skinny fat right now. I can wear a small size, but there's no glory in that. None at all. Because I'm not where I was physically last summer. Last summer I was toned, I had control of my eating, I didn't have rolls ... and as a result of all that, as dumb as it sounds, I felt happier. I was happier. So now I'm just trying to get back to that point again. I feel pretty good now, being back on the wagon, but it's still a work in progress.

So, no, you are not alone in how you feel! ;)
 
Being 40# overweight effects my mood greatly. And I have joined a gym, hired a personal trainer and worked out 3x a week for 3 months with the trainer and lost only 2#. I was mad. So I continued trying to work out and write down everything I ate and I still was not losing weight. So I got mad and stopped going to the gym for 2 months.

Now I'm gonna try again. But it frustrates me and I hate how I look in the mirror and I had a customer get mad at me and call me a fat biotch and I was just thinking, well she is right.

So it's frustrating. I don't enjoy hating how I look and I get down on myself for not trying hard enough. I feel like a failure, Sucks.
 
As someone who has never had weight issues, I can't relate regarding that, but I CAN relate to my happiness and emotional serenity being tied to my fitness.

By that I mean that I am unhappy if I can't work out. Back in December I was very ill with bronchitis and literally could do NOTHING for about 2 weeks. I even tried, but the pain in my lungs was too bad. (I know, I know.... that wasn't smart, but it points out what I'm talking about). So, I went through a mild depression. I have never been depressed and really wasn't sure what was going on. There were a few other things going on in my life at the time (served on a jury for a child molestation case for one), so I know other factors were contributing, but bottom line I know I would've been fine IF I had been able to work out.

So, while it's not a number on a scale that affects me so drastically, it is related in a way to what you are talking about.

I am glad you are feeling better!
 
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Another one chiming in here. I am 7 pounds overweight but also way out of shape at the moment. I am miserable every day and constantly am coming down on mysef for not being a certain weight or not fitting into a certain outfit. I don't want to go out at night. I feel terriuble. The moment something is a little looser, I feel a tiny bit happier. But since I am in this vicious cycle, that happiness hasn't been lasting long :(
 
Mine is tied to my overall feeling of happiness...I know exactly what I have to do to have a body I am comfotable in ..I know exactly how to eat to have a body that doesnt have all sorts of highs & lows... So when I stray for long my "happiness level" drops because I have let myself down...This doesnt happen after a weekend of fun eating - its after 2 & 3 weeks or more of just being "stupid".

When I dont eat right I dont feel right, when I dont feel right I am not at my best in life - the clothes not fitting properly is just a symptom to me...Its the overall feeling of WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF? At 46 - 10#s doesnt "just come off" so its a BATTLE - one I am currently in AGAIN!
 
LORI (laughing water)

What a beautiful way to say it all. I aspire to feel exactly as you have grown to live. I have moments of living this way but find I dont stay too long. Thanks for sharing..

LaughingWater said:
My happiness and weight were very much tied into each other for years. When I first started gaining weight in my early 30s, I was stunned. I swear I went through some of the stages of grief: Shock, denial, guilt, anger, etc. At one point, I even tried exercising twice and day while skipping dinner in an attempt to get back to my original, "magic" number. (Didn't work, by the way. Not a single ounce budged.)

A few things then happened my life that I think helped to take the focus off of my weight. I started studying Buddhism, which is all about dealing with our attachments and the suffering they bring. I also had a breast cancer scare, which ended up totally fine, but I was sweatin' it out for a few weeks. An extra 10 lbs. was the least of my worries.

Then I found Cathe and made the commitment to use exercise in a positive way, not as a way to validate my existence according to society's sometimes ridiculous expectations. I am not the size of my waist. I am not my cup size. I am not the curve of my nose or the length of my hair. I am instead someone's mother, someone's wife, someone's daughter, sister, friend. I have been and may be again someone's good Samaritan. I have been and may be again someone's voice of reason and/or measure of comfort. I just may be the source of a badly needed laugh in someone's otherwise stressful day.

For all that...all we accomplish throughout our days...and for all we need to learn, we need strong arms, steady legs, and a healthy heart. Our bodies are only vehicles ~ we tune 'em up so we can be as powerful, inspiring, and resilient as possible. :)
Click to expand...
 
looking good said:
You know what Laura....I was having this conversation in my head this morning....I was at my lowest 119....120 -125 is where I normally stay....well since the summer I have put on 10 POUNDS (135lb) and I HATE IT!!! I feel big even though I know I am not.....but its fustrating I think because it felt great when I maintained between 120-125 and just want to kick myself for letting those 10 pounds back on....I am in the process of getting them back off because I DO FEEL BETTER between 120-125 As women a big part of who we is in our appearance....not only our size...but how we dress...our hair etc..... :(

Sorry, no solution just that you are not alone....I can relate!
Click to expand...

Totally agree. Scale is up today, I know its the cheese I love to eat on these cold winter days, comfort food. But I don't know how to get myself moving to burn the calories like I can in the summer. Dusting just doesn't work!
 
I'm absolutely happier when I weigh less. I think just about everybody is happier when they weigh less and are following a healthier lifestyle. Since starting Cathe last March and cleaning up my eating habits a little, I've lost about 14 pounds. I wasn't overweight, but I sure was tired of going for my yearly OB-GYN check-up and seeing yet one more pound added to my weight. I wasn't an unhappy person, just peeved with myself for not doing better at staying in shape. I figured if I didn't kick up my exercise and cut some of my bad eating habits, I was soon going to be overweight. Thank goodness I found Cathe. Her workouts have really provided me with the challenge, motivation and the results.
~Michelle
 
weight/happiness

Hi,

I'm another one whose happiness is tied to their weight. I am not a happy camper when I'm not at a weight that I'm comfortable with. I get comments all of the time about how tiny I am and I'm sure I could probably gain 10 lbs and wouldn't look that much different. The problem is I wouldn't be happy with myself. I personally don't think there is a problem with setting a personal standard for your weight/ fitness etc. I also think that it is natural to be hard on yourself when you stray from your personal ideal. If you didn't then you might easily stray further and further. It's like a natural check on personal goals.

Laura I've followed most of the threads where you have discussed your weight gain and more recently your diet. When you ask about weight, there are always people who are happy being a few pounds overweight (or let me clarify, heavier than their personal ideal) and they'll comment that it's OK, and for them it is, but they are not you. It really doesn't matter if everyone else thinks you look great. If you are not happy, then something needs to change. I think that we all have to know ourselves and what we are comfortable with, be happy with that, and work towards being the best that we can be. Everyone's best is different.

Tracy
 
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