Hostility about exercise?

D

DawnA

Cathlete
Hi everyone,
I'm sure we have all experienced this stupidity at one time or another. Yesterday I finished the cool-down about 2 minutes before the kindergarten bus was scheduled to arrive, so I threw on my coat and ran out to the curb in front of my house. The bus driver, said in such a nasty voice "why in the world are you dressed like that?" I had on shorts, t-shirt, socks, and shoes, with a winter coat over. I was only out there for 2 seconds, so it was no big deal. I said to her in a fake sweet voice "because I was exercising". What I was thinking was "becasue I thought all the stay at home moms in my neighborhood would enjoy seeing my hairy legs,and I knew, instinctively, that it would somehow piss you off".
Some people have a strange hostility toward people who exercise, and I don't get it. My sister in law will say "Why are you exercising AGAIN? Do you do it EVERY day?" As though it's just too ridiculous fo her to comprehend. My mother in law will call at 10am, which is when I exercise, and be irritated that I ask to call her back. These strange people act like it's an unhealthy thing to do. I just had to get this off my chest, and am glad I have you who understand.
Have a wonderful day!
Dawn
 
Hi Dawn,

It's been my experience that those in our lives that make the stupid comments about our exercising are really just upset with themselves for their own lack of commitment and drive. I think that they resent us doing something that they know they should be doing, but don't.

As for the calls during exercise, here's how I nipped that in the bud!
I put on my answering maching when my workout starts, and I'll cut the volumn up so I can hear the message in case it's an emergency, but in almost 2 years, there has NEVER been any emergency during my workout time! So eventually those that would call when they KNEW I was working out, stopped! And the ones that still do, I'll hear them saying, "oh yeah, I guess you're working out, I'll try you later." DUH! I've only worked out every day at the same time for how long? They know it, but now they can't disturb me! :)

Donna
 
My favorite is my mother, who is in healthcare no less, telling me that working out for an hour 5 days a week is going to cause me injury. Not if I use good form it won't. She is pretty physically un-fit but is trying to use a treadmill and some light weights but she doesn't understand the concept of being truly fit. Blows my mind. And guess when she always calls me? You guessed it, during my workout time!!! Like your MIL, she gets mad because I don't answer the phone or ask her if I can call her back. As if to say "you are so rude to not want to talk to me when I interrupt you!" DUH!
 
Hear Hear Donna !!!!! :7

Other people who criticise are green with envy because they don't do it themselves, it is like a defence mechanism, they say things like

'What do you want to do that for, exercise can't be that good for you ?'

Yeah, yeah, and you are just talking out of your a$$, would be my answer - HUMPH http://www.click-smilie.de/sammlung/aetsch/aetsch004.gif



HUMPH ! x(

Anna
 
I had a neighbor insinuate before to me that I was a poor mother because I exercise. (She did put it gently, I'll give her that). I do my weights after my son is in bed, so the only exercise I do while he is awake is 3 or 4 (30 minute cardios) in the living room per week. I tend to him throughout the workout and have to stop and start several times, and I don't mind. I get my exercise in, relieve stress, and tend to him at the same time. I don't believe for a second that I'm warping my child with this. I used to let people's comments bother me but not anymore! I want my son to be active when he grows up and the best way to accomplish that is for him to see me being active.
 
Hi, Dawn! Oh my yes, I know I've had the same responses you have, as have all of us committed exercisers here in Cathe Land. For me, I don't get hostility so much as bewilderment, and a certain condescending, puzzled amusement. There's also a presumption that I'm body-image disordered in some way ("You're already thin! Why do you need to work out so often?") Or just relentless, never-ending boneheaded questions about the real See-Spot-Run aspects of exercise: What should I do? How often should I do it? Where do I find the time?

The people who have a strange hostility toward exercise probably also have that same strange hostility to anyone who works hard for any one of life's benefits: the worker who saves her money and spends carefully, not blowing it on the gizmo-of-the-moment and has a big kitty later in life; the student who goes to class and stays home to study consistently rather than have to pull the all-nighter before the big exam; the alcoholic who chooses to abstain; etc.

It's not a whole lot of fun to be the target of someone's envy, is it? Fortunately, my DH is very supportive of my need to work out, and I NEVER take calls during a workout; the family emergency that would warrant that hasn't happened yet.

Keep on keepin' on! I do love your what-I-wish-I'd-said comment to the bus driver. She woulda deserved it.

A-jock
 
Hopefully I can inspire you guys to be more evil like me, and use these God-given opportunities to slam the exercise-averse morons of the world.

For example, I never answer the phone while working out. If anyone objects, I say something like, "Oh well, I don't interrupt my workouts, you'll just have to call back later." I say it like a broken record. If anyone says anything about my working out too much, I say "I don't watch TV" or "I don't spend any time shopping for stuff I don't need." One of these comments is sure to hit home with the listener.

A few weekends ago I went diving in the Keys. Unfortunately for me it was cold as H*LL and I was blue and shivering coming out of the water. A couple of nice overweight Georgia folks really enjoyed saying "Whatchoo need is smore bodyfat." They said it many times, as though I hadn't heard, patting their bellies while they spoke. Finally I said, "Well, the other 364 days of the year not only does it not help me in any way, but it's gross." They just blinked.

These moments make my day. After all, I thought I looked pretty buff as my shivering body pulled off the wetsuit. The cold wind even improved body parts that Cathe cannot hold out any hope for. :7

So, my advice to you if your temperament allows is: Slam them! You're the one that looks good! They are trying to make fun of you because they are more out of shape than you are. This is a no-brainer. I consider it my sacred duty to give them some feedback.
 
Yup, I've had that. I have lost 60 lbs since last summer (still have 60 to go) but recently people have been noticing and asking me how I did it. When I tell them I excercise 5 days a week and count my calories carefully their eyes glaze over and go "Oh, I don't have time to excercise", hmmm i have 3 small kids including a 6 month old and I find the time- I get up at 5am but I find the time. anyone can if its important to them. I'm sure those people can watch tv 5 hours a week.

I can picture you at the bus stop. I also meet my kingergardener at the bus stop daily and its amazing the little snips those neighborhood mothers can make in 2 minutes LOL!!!! Just ignore them. I think its jealousy. I think they are jealous that you have the drive to excercise and improve or maintain your body.
I think women are the worst to each other. I don't think men snip at each other like women do.

You did not say what gender the bus driver was but I'm guessing woman based on the comment. Am I right?? I know its terrible to generalize like that but I have found that.
 
RE: More snappy comebacks

Totally agree with AmyNicole - we are our own worst enemies, and each other's. So much for sisterhood.

If I'm feeling feisty, I may lay out the following next time I get a hostile and/or boneheaded question:

If you have to ask the question, you probably won't understand the answer.

The wisdom of the master is lost in the pupil's lack of it.

I guess I missed the part where that was any of your business.

I'm sorry - I forgot to get your okay on my private lifestyle choices.

a-jock
 
Yep, it was a woman bus driver. Let me extend my claws here a moment and say, that she didn't look as if she knew what the word exercise meant. Meow! Women are horrible to each other. My SIL also criticised me for exercising on Saturdays, as if I were ignoring my children. First of all, try ignoring four loud, arguing people; it can't be done. They want to watch Sponge-Bob, not talk to me anyway. I break up the fights, send them along, and continue to exercise. It really hurt my feelings that she would say that, but I soon remembered that HER kids can't talk to her when she watches a soap opera, or gabs on the phone for hours. There does seem to be such hostility toward us for wanting to improve ourselves!
 
I've had the very same problem with the people in my world. They will quote a health ad on TV that you only have to exercise 3 min a day. Or "you'd look so much better if you'd GAIN about 15 pounds"
Yeah right!! So I would be out of shape like they are.
They will use the 'I have much more loftier goals in life than you do' ploy to try and make me feel guilty that I want to improve myself.
Or when I would go out to eat with them and I would choose the healthiest thing I could find on the menu, they would say, 'life is too short to deprive yourself of desserts.'

Like the other girls mentioned, these people are jealous that we have the willpower, the committment, to take care of ourselves. That puts us in a special class by itself as we are in the minority.
That is why these forums for motivation is so necessary.

I too, have the answering machine on. I will even go so far as not answer the door (as I can see through my blinds who walks up the sidewalk) when I'm in my workout room.
One step further..my BIL who is also my DH's partner on the farm, always had the habit of just walking in the garage if he wanted a tool or something and then coming on in the house to say he was there. Now that our new garage is attached to the old one; which is my workout room, I even lock my door. He can still get in the garage, but he doesn't have access to MY space.

I have tripped over my step, had a barbell land on my chest, injured my legs while doing lunges; all because I was interupted during my exercise time. I decided it wasn't worth it. This is my space. When I get done with what I'm doing, then I will address other people's needs.
Really, when you think about it, don't WE have to do that for THEM?
When we want them to do something, don't we have to wait until THEY have to time?

Thanks for starting this thread. It let me have a chance to vent. LOL

Wanda
 
You all have the best answers for those potential awkward situations. Thanks for the laughs and the advice. I try my best to ignore those not-so-nice people and their comments, but it has never seemed to work in the past. I think I will take a few pages from your book.
 
Yep.. I get that too. My mom called at 6:15A this morning.. as I huffed an puffed into the phone she says 'Oh.. were you working out?' Yep.. just like I have been for the past 6 mo or so.

Well least she's getting better.. she used to say 'Oh..you're working out AGAIN?!'
 
RE: Catty

Yes women are catty. I have female co-workers ask me if I workout and when I say "yes, every morning for about an hour at 5:30 a.m., 6 days a week," I am usually hit with 2 responses: "That's crazy!" or "Well I workout for an hour and a half!" Can't we all just get along?
 
The answer to this one is you are being a healthy example. I have always exercised partly because my parents were into exercise. They enjoyed it, it was something we all did. My children are in great shape. They are swimmers, play soccer, and my daughter really likes to do some of my tapes with me. Last night my husband and I went to run at the indoor track, so our daughter came also, she is 9, and she ran and walked, and had a lot of fun. Instead of growing up to be fat adults, they are learning the joy of being in good shape, and eating well. Maybe it is abusive to not show them this!!
 
Thank you for the chuckle. My legs are invariably hairy too. And here in Tucson, it's supposed to be 85 today so I have no excuse. You know, the percentage of people who exercise is very small compared to non exercisers so yes, indeed being a fitness enthusiast may garner some resentment. But how you dress is your business! I once dropped my kindergartener off while still in pjs. Only did it once though because it seemed I was scandalous! :)
 
RE: Catty

I just had a conversation today at work about this. A girl I work with bought the Firm kit (from the infomercial - she had never worked out prior to this.)...
So here she is complaining about how sore she is..and all the other hens start chiming in "oh - you need to take it slow!!" - "You are going to get hurt"...
then another lady says "yea, I used to belong to the gym ...but I just don't have the TIME"...
then of course it turned into a competition about who is more busy and how they all have NOOOO time to work out.
When it finally got around to me..I was almost embarrased to say I work out every morning...cause all they did was say the same thing they said to Jillybean "You are nuts!".

Anne
 
Jillybean- you just know if you said you work out for 2 hours then they would work out for 2 1/2 hours LOL!!

Oh and thats another thing that gets me- people tell how busy busy busy they are as if they are too important to find the time to workout and if you can manage to fit it in you must no be busy enough or you must be neglecting your kids. Grrrrr....

Great thread!

Oh, I just knew the bus driver was a woman. Isn't that terrible, but based on your decription I just knew it!!

I have learned to not talk about my workouts to my real life people. Love these forums becuase it gives me the change to talk about this stuff with others who get it.

I'm lucky my DH is supportive of my "habit"!!

Marci
 
Today, a friend of mine called me and I told her I was sick this week. She said, "Oh, how can you be sick? I thought you were supposed to be healthy with all the excercise you do!"

DUH! Like it's supposed to be the cure for the common cold!! WHATEVER!!

Danielle
 
Longtime lurker but just had to add: I was visitng my sister and using her Nordictrack in her garage. I usually go for about 45 minutes and was at minute 25 when my dad pops his head in and practically screams, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING! YOU'RE GOING TO KILL YOURSELF!" (This coming from a man who has had an angioplasty and a pacemaker and who has never exercised a day in his adult life!) I said, "No dad, this is why I'm NOT going to kill myself." He just shook his head and huffed off. It was over two years ago, and I still remember it... Good thing he didn't see me in the middle of a Cathe tape. He would have called the paramedics for sure! }(
 
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