Has Anyone Ever Intentionally Mispronounced Your Name????

Elle_p

Elle_p

Cathlete
I have a french name which is uncommon where i live so I'm used to having it mispronounced or confused especially when meeting people for the first time. Usually, people can get it right after the initial confusion. It's not that hard.

I'm in a really weird and uncomfortable situation where my boyfriend's brother actually pronounced my name correctly for over a year. Then out of the blue, at a family BBQ he started mispronouncing it and made a whole production out of being completely baffled about how to pronounce my name.

I politely told him how to pronounce it and thought that was the end of it. It was only the beginning. Throughout the whole afternoon he continued to use variations on my name in front of everybody acting like he couldn't get it right. I repeated how to say my name correctly and also pointed out that he had been saying it correctly for the past year.

I went through the same thing with him again at Thanksgiving dinner in October (I'm in Canada). It's really making me uncomfortable and embarrassing me in front of my boyfriend's huge family. I told him if it's too difficult he could just call me Elle since most people close to me call me by that nickname. He wouldn't let up.:( I finally told him he was free to call me whatever he wanted but I might not respond. He continued to butcher my name and told me i should be thankful that he cares enough to try and get my name right. I don't get it. He had it right for more than a year.

Anyways, he's having his annual Christmas party in a couple of week's and I'm really not looking forward to it. I don't get what his problem is.

Any advice on how i can handle this without being rude? I'm hoping it won't be an issue again but i want to be prepared just in case.
 
Wow, sounds like hostility on his part. Did something happen between the two of you (or between your boyfriend and his brother) before this?
Have you talked to your boyfriend about it?
This sounds like teasing to the point of bullying to me.
I wouldn't worry about being rude to this guy (but I wouldn't want to offend other family members).

He also might be doing this to get attention (what is he, 12?). Try to ignore him unless he pronounces your name correctly. I imagine that your response to him might be egging him on.
 
Two thoughts popped into my head:

1) Why didn't your boyfriend correct his brother re: your name, after it became very clear that it was open hostility? Did you mention it to your BF either during the party or later? If so, what was his reaction?

2) Did your BF's brother just break up w/ someone? It sounds like he's trying to create problems between you and his brother. (Misery loves company).

Frankly, I be really ticked if my boyfriend didn't notice the situation and tell his brother to simply STFU.

An alternative would be to ask his brother in front of everyone if he's had a brain scan recently and if not, he should because you're worried about his apparent short term memory issues and inability to hear correctly.
 
Give him a dose of his own medicine. Call him by a name that is just wrong enough that he knows you know what you're doing. Maybe he will see how annoying it is and maybe he won't. And if he doesn't, then you two just have little "pet" names for each other. And you calling him by the wrong name all the time will hopefully take care of the annoyance of him calling you by the wrong name.
 
His brother is obviously a moron. I'd just put him on ignore if I were you!!!!

You might want to ask your BF in private why he hasn't said anything though. I would want to know for sure.
 
First off, what the heck is wrong with your boyfriend for not stepping in on this.

Second, I'd just ignore the guy (again, how old is he?). He's only continuing to do it because he's getting a reaction from you. I'd completely ignore him, until such time as you have the opportunity to introduce him to someone else, then introduce him as "Dick, or "Tiny" or some other appropriately incorrect name and just let it hang out there.

Some people are just very pathetic.
 
I have had someone intentionally mispronounce my name, and I also have a French name! Luckily, she was just a co-worker and I could avoid her. I'm not 100% sure she did it intentionally, but when ever she was around she called me Gay-bree-ellee really loud and about every two minutes or so. Even other people wondered what her problem was. I'm often called Gabriel or Gabriela but that's understandable. I tried coming up with a similar way to butcher her name - Joanne - but was unsuccessful. I don't really have any advice for you other than what others have suggested, but I do understand your pain.
 
jonahnah said:
An alternative would be to ask his brother in front of everyone if he's had a brain scan recently and if not, he should because you're worried about his apparent short term memory issues and inability to hear correctly.
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Ha! :D Love it!

Elle_p said:
Has Anyone Ever Intentionally Mispronounced Your Name????
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Oh yeah. I have had both my first and last names intentionally mispronounced. I have also had my first name UNintentionally mispronounced, and though I corrected the individuals numerous times, they shrugged, said “Oh, whatever,” and continued on with the incorrect pronunciation. Granted, they are not native English speakers, but still. I also have some family members who just can’t seem to drop a childhood nickname that I would prefer be forgotten.

One of the pieces in Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People that has always stuck with me is that a “person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” I guess because my name is hard to pronounce, I always appreciated that, and I make it a point to get someone’s name right. Just call a person what s/he likes to be called. Simple.

In your situation, the brother clearly knew how to say your name for a year and for whatever warped reason, is trying to get a rise of you. Since you’ve tried to be polite about it, I would take it up with your BF, and if that doesn’t nip it in the bud, I’d start laughing it off and bust HIS chops as Joan & some others suggested.
 
I am curious to know where your boyfriend was in all of this and would want to know what he has to say first before confronting the brother. I think your boyfriend should have the conversation with him first to see what's really going on.
 
Thanks for all your responses. It is much appreciated.:)

I should have mentioned before that my boyfriend wasn't actually around when all this was going down. They have a big family and after the meal people tend to split up and play cards, other games, or into smaller groups to chat. My BF tends to play cards with the guys and I usually join whatever other game is going on (like dominoes or pictionary). On both occasions, I was playing a game that included the brother.

I was trying not to make an issue of it so i didn't really address it with my BF but I'm going to fill him in on what's been happening so he's prepared. I'll also decline to join the group or game the brother is participating in and go sit somewhere else. He's really bossy and competitive anyways which is annoying, although i do like the other people that usually play.

He's a really strong, egocentric personality and while the "name thing" is unique to me he does similar types of things to other people. I feel like he's trying to be the center of attention at other people's expense. He's very critical, bossy, and sometimes even mean but everyone seems to accept that's just the way he is. He does have good qualities as well but right now his overbearing personality is all i can see.

Oh, and even though this seems like juvenile behaviour, he's a full grown man.:p
 
Yeah, that guy is a jerk.... don't let him get to you. If he mispronounces your name while he's introducing you to someone new, then let that person know the correct way to pronounce it. There's really no way to mispronounce my name, Donna, but I did have my daughter tell me it sounds like an old lady's name. I've been moved to the "Ethel" category, LOL.
 
This guys sounds like he never left Junior High. It got me wondering if he actually likes you (is jealous of his brother) and is trying to get your attention. Just wondering--could be way off base.
 
That's what I was thinking Elsie - especially after it was indicated he only did it when the brother was not around.
 
Elle, this guy really sounds like a complete dick. I would take care, after notifying your BF of his conduct, to totally avoid situations in which Dick and you are in proximity but your BF is not. When Dick is around, BF s/b around. Period.

A-Jock
 
Annette?? You're the best!! LOL :eek:
Aquajock said:
Elle, this guy really sounds like a complete dick. I would take care, after notifying your BF of his conduct, to totally avoid situations in which Dick and you are in proximity but your BF is not. When Dick is around, BF s/b around. Period.

A-Jock
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I second Pinny's opinion. Annette, not only is your advice good, but you are also dangerously funny. Thanks for the laugh! :D
 
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