Please Ma'am Me
Annette, the woman at the drive through at the bank called me Richard because my hair is so short. I thought it was funny. Unless it's because of my chest, then it's just sad.
I think we need more of such speech. Good manners can be sorely lacking. Ma'am makes me feel old, I admit, but hey, I'm no spring chicken. I tend to forget that though. Every now and again someone will call me Miss and it amuses me too. Ha ha!! I always wear my wedding band and I look more Ma'am than miss to be sure.
I am very casual and I think that plays into it. My daughter's boyfriend always called me Ma'am and he had beautiful manners. I could not get him to call me Bobbi. All of the kids my kids have known since they were knee high to a grasshopper, call me Bobbi and I prefer being called Bobbi to Mrs. Freedman any day. Some of them never use any form of address at all. I'm like a peice of furniture, or the non person who drives the car and drops off the teens.
I am often shocked at some of the young ones out in the world who let doors close on the people coming in behind them and use no pleases or thank yous. Older ones too. I am a door holder myself. There was a time when men had a tendancy to hesitate to go through but not so much any longer unless they are older.
Older men may hold the door for me even if I could pick them up and use them for biceps curls.
I like yes, pleases and no thank you's and use them always. The other day at Safeway a teenage boy with a wild mop of hair, enormous black pants with chains hanging on them and bare feet was so courteous and cheerful, he charmed me and I was stuck by how appearances may be deceptive. My own kids are wonderful with the thank you, mommies and they are courteous or else. I am disappointed when children have no niceties to offer to anyone. Of course, not everyone is as gregarious as I can be but I dislike being behind a person on line, who doesn't speak or make eye contact at all. Clerks do it too and I walk away thinking they should get a personality.
I'm sure there are people behind me who wish I'd shut up so they can get on with it but I feel the need to engage everyone most of the time. I once offered a cashier at Trader Joe's a piece of Altoids gum and the poor dear ended up sort of choking with running eyes because those suckers are curiously strong and I felt dreadful and apologized profusely and had to wait to get outside to chuckle over it. I found out the young guy at the Circle K had worked back to back shifts and he was fried but pleased to have pulled it off and the older lady has allergies that steal her voice so she whispers. I always thank people for working on holidays and I try to get people to smile at me, particularly if they look grouchy. I know I am rambling but if I had a point it would be to say that being courteous and cheerful could turn someone's day around. I know I love walking away from an encounter thinking what a nice person. I am pretty sure I have elicited that at times. Or perhaps, I wonder if she's been toking up? No, ma'am. I'm just really happy to be me and I want you to enjoy me as much as I do.
And if you will smile at me, I'll leave. I'm a smile junkie.
So, you can call me ma'am but please don't call me "lady'. I prefer woman.
I'll shut up now.
Bobbi
http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif "Chick's rule!"
Tell me, what it is you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? -Mary Oliver