Do not want to drive/fly for holidays...help!

Jennifit

Jennifit

Cathlete
OK, I have 1 year old twins and I do want to go away to my family's this Christmas. (I know I sound terrible) But, I am so tired, we just got back into our house after 3 months of living away for construction - I just do not want to make the 8-9 hour drive or fly from the busiest airport in the country - we will be delayed. My mother never comes to visit us -she "hates" to travel, but always expects us to travel to see her...

What would you do? Would you just suck it up and go? Not go? Help!! Give it to me straight - I can take it!! (Maybe LOL)
 
No profound advice here, but I do hear your pain. I have to fly to WA on Christmas Day and I would rather eat my liver... I just want to stay home, but no such luck. Good luck with whatever you decide! I know having the little ones adds a whole new dimension to the travel!
 
By all means STAY HOME and enjoy your Christmas with your babies, in your own home, with your own tree, and your own traditions! It's too much to travel with little ones, especailly over the holidays. Stay home...I mean it :p . You tell your mom I said so :7
 
Perhaps this year would be great to just be with your own small family. Maybe start new traditions just for the 4 of you. Another way is one year for you 4 together and another year for the other family together. Or who says that Christmas day is the only day to visit with family for the holidays? How about a different day this year, but around Christmas, or not. Many options are open to you. Don't fret, and just relax and do what is needed for your own family.

Janie

The idea is to die young as late as possible
 
We live in NY state and most of our family is in Texas. I've got two little boys and it's a long trip with them, driving or flying, so we're staying home. We also just didn't plan ahead enough so it didn't happen. My family is not generally very good about coming to visit us. At first, I kind of figured it's our job to visit them since we are the ones who moved away, but after being away for 6 years now, it's hard to always be the ones who travel. As it turns out, this year my mom is going to visit for the first time since our first year away.

I think if you've got kids and you foresee it being really tough to travel, there's no shame in having a holiday in your own home. We will probably go south for a visit in the spring to make up for not having been there in a while, and it will be less pressure at that time.

[font face="comic sans ms" font color=purple]***Lainie***
My fitness blog: http://fitnessfig.blogspot.com/ http://bestsmileys.com/exercising/7.gif[/font]
 
After 5 years of schlepping from CO to IN and/or NJ to be with my and DH's families, we put our foot down this year. I am so sick of traveling during the holidays and having to pay so much money to do so. DH and I are staying home this year and will pay visit to our families in the summer. Both of our moms are giving us guilt trips, but we are so done with traveling that it isn't even affecting us.

I feel your pain! I hope that you get to stay home.
 
We used to travel every year, too. We finally said that we would stay home for our kids. We have started our own traditions and LOVE it! You will have some negative comments and have to put up with other "stuff", too, I imagine.

We try to visit either the week before or the week after. One year, we visited in January and celebrated Christmas then! My parents loved it because they could wait to see what the kids got for Christmas and buy what had not been purchased and also take advantage of the sales!

You will just have to give a reason (too expensive, for the kids, can't get a good flight, car is not running well...) and stick with it and come up with a new one for next year! It will be worth it!

Good luck!
Jenn
 
I love you guys! I know that you feel my pain. I am going to be strong, suck it up, and NOT go...!!!! Yeah!! I am so freaking nervous to tell my mother (how old am I??) that I have been having anxiety - I have not been sleeping over this ridiculous issue.

THANK YOU!!! I value all of your advice - I am not going - wish me luck when I talk with my mom - Oh crap!!

Thanks, Everyone - You are the best!!!
 
Stay home, tell a "white little lie" like, "the kids are sick" or whatever...but sweetly suggest she come down to see you, but oh, be sure and bring her cold medicine because you wouldn't want her to catch anything!;-) Oh, I am kinda bad huh?:7
 
I think with one year old twins, NO ONE should expect you to pack everything up to come visit them. No way on earth would I do it. If it matters that much that everyone be together for the holidays, then they will come to you.
 
I agree with everyone else. You have two small children - the best reason of all to stay home and start your own family traditions. Hopefully the rest of your family will agree and come share the joy of the season with you and your family. I have a special needs son and when he reached a certain age, it became too difficult to travel and stay at other's homes. Our family all understood and now we have a houseful over the holidays.
 
When we had kids everyone expected us to travel and visit as we always had pre-kids. We didn't do it.

We just told everyone that our family was going to have whatever the holiday was in OUR home and that we would visit with them during vacation or whatever.

As a kid I remember spending the Christmas holidays in my parents home and never traveling so it wasn't a hard sell.
 
Having 1-year-old twins is absolutely reason enough right there not to travel. One 1-year-old would be a valid out, but TWINS? -- that trumps all! :)

I know you're nervous about the fallout from mom, but just be gentle, honest, and firm about your decision.

Good luck! And don't feel guilty no matter how mom responds. It's her turn to suck it up and hit the road for a change.

[font face="heather" font color=black size=+2]~Cathy[/font]

http://s228.photobucket.com/albums/ee296/runninteach/holidays/th_tomtebart2.gif
 
ITA with the Stay-Home contingent. And no real elaborate excuses are needed. Yes, your mother might be perturbed for a bit, but a peaceful X-mas for your own family is important.

A-Jock
 
Jen, I just checked your profile. You couldn't pay me enough money in the world to travel from your airport ANYWHERE over the holidays, with or without Der Munchkinscheiners.

A-J
 
Jennifit, I have a MIL who doesn't travel either. We are fortunate in that she only lives <2 hours away. Still, it's a bit much. I cannot imagine trying to do any of the holiday travels with twin 1 year olds!!!

My DH and I decided this year after 9 years together that for Thanksgiving and Christmas we would be at our house instead of travelling to MIL's house. We'll go up the day before for Christmas Eve then come back, but each actual holiday day will not involve 2-4 hours in the car.

It has been hard for us to put our feet down, but no one seems to mind. It's strange, but they seem to understand. I'm sure they remember the years they were just starting out, too!

Sorry if I'm being unclear: I absolutely would not go to visit your mom this year. You have kids now and that can easily be your priority this year without offending anyone else.

Hugs
 
Thanks, Everyone!! You actually made me laugh - I am still afraid for some God-awful reason...can you say that we have a lot of guilt in our family! Thanks for all of your advice! I am printing this link as my mantra...and, yes, flying from O'Hare makes me want to cry!! LOL

Thanks, Everyone again!!!
 
I hope you don't mind if I pipe in. Expecting you to travel with one year old twins is a bit unreasonable. It's different when they're a little older. I personally think that the best thing to do is to be honest. Let your mom know that it's just too much of a hassle to travel with them right now and that if she really wants to see you, she can come out to where you are. Let her know that you will enjoy your christmas much more without the stress of traveling with such young twins and it would be a wonderful christmas present for you if she were to make the trip this time.
 
Driving 8-9 hours with one year old twins???? (I'm assuming that's in good weather too) No freakin' way! Visit your mom in the summer, and if she needs a grandkid fix before then, she can get over her dislike of travel and visit you. Hold your ground, stay home, and make sure your camcorder is fully charged. You're gonna love this Xmas!

Jonahnah
Chocolate IS the answer, regardless of the question.
 
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