Hey guys. The last three days have been tough and I did not get workouts in at all. I am back at it today with ICE Bootcamp under my belt.
So three days ago my dad took the boys crabbing by the South Shore. I could tell he was very stressed with my mom, so when they got back I took my mom with me to the outlets, the ones you went to, Deb. She was really out of it. I had my younger DS with me and when we got to the big fountain in the middle I gave DS and my mom a penny to make wishes (it is a tradition that my DS loves to do). My mom wished aloud to stay alive. That caused my DS to tear up. . . it was just sad. Anyway. . . it was a rough day. Then Thursday morning we had middle school orientation for my older DS. We dropped off younger DS to my dad's house and went and it was already emotional for me to wrap my head around the fact that my baby is going to middle school. MIDDLE SCHOOL! Then when we were done, we went to pick up my younger DS and my mom started crying that she never sees me (she sees me every day) and that she misses me. My dad told me she woke up very depressed and then he started crying. Now. . . he never, ever cries. That made me cry and my poor young sons had no clue what to do. We were taking the boys to the other outlets to get them school shoes, so I offered to take my mom with me. Oh, and it was our wedding anniversary. My mom was out of sorts again, so we split up. DH took my boys for their shoes and I took mom with me for women's clothing. We stopped by Chico's and I wanted to try on a few things. The sales lady told my mom she could sit in this nice waiting chair, but I was afraid to leave my mom alone so I whispered to the sales lady, "She can't be alone. She get's confused." The sales lady, who was about my mom's age, gave me this empathic look and told me my mom could go in the back with me. My mom started to cry. . . It was heartbreaking. I spent my feelings in dollars I do not have! Then yesterday, my dad had a morning doctor's appointment for a test and he dropped my mom off at my house. He didn't realize the test was a four-hour thing, so he called me to say he wouldn't be home until much later. Yesterday was the only day I had free to get in my classroom and set up before school starts. . . I had to go. . . which meant I had to take my mom and my younger DS with me. Again. . . very stressful and sad. After setting up my room, my son asked if we could go back to the outlets to get something to eat and candy (there is this awesome candy store there). My mom wanted to go to and begged me to go, so I caved. Again, spent money I don't have. . . and on top of it all. . .
I cleaned out my closet and my work pants do not fit me because I have gained weight. . . due to poor eating and due to stress, I am sure of it. I am pissed at myself for letting this happen. This morning I spent more money and ordered 21 day fix extreme because I have heard only good things and I need to get in shape and fast so my pants will fit. I only bought two pairs of pants in a larger size. DO you guys think I am crazy? Maybe, but I need something and I need something with an eating plan because that is where I am falling short.
Sorry I have missed checking in these last three days. It has been such a depressing time. I already get stressed and anxious about the start of the school year. This year it is worse. I am worried about my dad. What will he do with me being back at work full time? My sister and brother are f#$@%! useless!!!! They are never around. They never help. They are self-absorbed brats. My sister works part time at freakin' Home Depot. She has two kids, but she could help out and my brother's wife is at home all day alone with the baby. . . she could invite my mom over or help out. No one does anything! I am not speaking to my sister at this time, but if we were on speaking terms, I still wouldn't be able to say anything because it would cause more of a problem. Same with my brother. . . we are speaking, but it would cause a problem if I opened my mouth. I just resent them both so much at this point. We all live FIVE minutes away from my parents. They only come around if they want or need something. It is disgusting.
That was a long vent! I apologize. I guess I needed to get this all out.
DH is actually taking me out to dinner tonight for our anniversary. My dad told us he would have the boys sleepover to keep him company and as a way of saying thank you to us for everything we do for my mom and him. I am looking forward to a nice dinner with easy conversation. I don't want to talk about any of this tonight.
Belinda- That is awful that your neighbor's dog attacked Brawler and came at you. . . and scary! What kind of dog do they have? Poor Brawler!
Deb- I guess you could sense something was wrong with me not posting. Just all this craziness getting to me.
BBL,
Kristin
