Comfortable In Your Skin

[janie1234]

Ha...I got a bar bell in my navel a few years back and it took a while before he figured THAT one out!

DirtDiva this just cracked me up I nearly had coffee coming out of my nose. I had my ear periced on the top of my left ear, . . . and I wear a tiny little diamond stud that my mother in law gave me that used to belong to her mom and it took him 6 years of marriage before he ever realized it,. . . .we've been married for almost 10. BUT if I even try to clean his mountain bike, . . .he notices every speck of dirt out of place and will tell me I cleaned it wrong.

 

[GMonkey]

I have to admit that I can be a bit judgmental about peoples' appearances. Not if they are attractive, or heavy, or unstylish...I just have a big problem with inappropriate clothing and/or lack of grooming.

When someone works in an office and dresses like a tramp or a slob, I find it offensive. Also, if someone looks like they are trying too hard to be stylish, it seems like a cry of desperation and that there may not be anything of value going on in the brain.

My husband always notices women's footwear (and I'm sure their breasts...) but he can't even deal when women teeter around in uncomfortable shoes and will immediately come to the conclusion that she must be an airhead. He also says choice things about men who do dopey stuff like wear "chin-strap beards" and wear baseball caps backwards, etc.

I just try to dress appropriately and hopefully kind of cute. I exercise because I enjoy it, how it makes me feel, and improves my appearance. I think that all body types can be beautiful and some people are just naturally very skinny, but it doesn't make her better, or the curvaceous one better, etc. I think that Kate Hudson's adorable tiny rack is just as cute as Queen Latifah's is luscious.

 

[DirtDiva]

I don't worry about my appearance for men either, I worry about it b/c I've set an absurd & unrealistic standard for myself.

I think it was around 44 when I noticed that I was getting this smooth look all over. IMHO nothing looks nicer on a woman's body than muscle and I know the muscle is there because I train heavy, and if anything my load keeps increasing. So what gives with the fat layer? Truthfully, the women that I hang with on the trail are the most down to earth people and what we envy on each other is that VMO cut, or the vein running up the bicep when you're climbing, or damn I want your calves! I don't care if another man/woman looks at me and thinks my arse isn't perfect at Target. Its not been easy to re-train my standards, but now all I want is to continue to do the sport I love. Its so hard to let go of this ideal of how you view yourself, but in the end I still think its not the hill you want to die on!

 

[DirtDiva]

. . . .we've been married for almost 10. BUT if I even try to clean his mountain bike, . . .he notices every speck of dirt out of place and will tell me I cleaned it wrong.

Yikes...in this house I do that to MY husband! I am ashamed of myself...

 

[morningstar]

I know it is terrible, but I see very overweight people now, and I sometimes think "how could you do that??"" It is wrong of me, and a terrible thing to think, but it pops in my head. I've been there, and it sucks, but I feel and look so much better now, that I wonder why people still do it. Then I realize I've been there, and I don't know why I did it either, and it wasn't easy being that weight and looking like that, and taking the criticism and stares from strangers. And that gets me off the holier than thou pretty quickly.

I have those thoughts too, and what gets me off of it is the thought that maybe this person is already losing weight - maybe she/he used to be heavier. Maybe I'm seeing them out on the street walking because that's part of their exercise routine. Maybe they just go over a major illness or have spent their lives taking care of other people instead of themselves. Maybe they work out all the time, but have the genes to be large, or are severely endo in their body type. Maybe they just haven't had that lightbulb go on over their head yet that said it was time to change. I am not skinny by any means, and I bet people think that I am too fat and need to lose weight. By looking at me, most people can't tell that I work out every day, run, lift weights, walk everywhere. Judging someone's fitness level and level of activity by their appearance will lead to a lot of erroneous and harmful assumptions.

As for the girl in the article, I would be remarkably happy if I was as beautiful as she is.

 

[ldy_solana]

very well said. the only time it irks me is if i know you personally and know your habits and all you do it complain and whine instead of change. otherwise i find myself gravitating towards heavier ppl in the gym, on the trails, in the pool. many i have talked to are vibrated ,positive and great conversationalist(i am a not a social butterfly so feeling comfortable around somebody helps me) and instead of dwelling they are taking action so many do not deserve a snub b/c of their weight. i find them fascinating to talk to and pretty knowledgeable. if anything illness and genetics have made it hard for them to lose weight but many are just happy when they hear they are getting healthier and willing to share their stories with me. they are just as inspiring to me as the athlete with the toned body.

already been to one message board where a size 12 is "unhealthy" and it really hit a spot for me b/c i am healthy, i am not a super model but i am pretty and i was basically feeling like i was judged for my size. size is a number doesn't make anybody healthy or unhealthy.i have always been a size 10-12 all my life. i am short so yeah i can see if i gain weight its noticeable. took a long time to get from a size 16 to this size and i am hoping to tighten up and get stronger. if i focus on loosing weight i seem to fail miserably if i focus on fun and health i tend to make less slip ups in the diet department. just my experience though YMMV

kassia

I have those thoughts too, and what gets me off of it is the thought that maybe this person is already losing weight - maybe she/he used to be heavier. Maybe I'm seeing them out on the street walking because that's part of their exercise routine. Maybe they just go over a major illness or have spent their lives taking care of other people instead of themselves. Maybe they work out all the time, but have the genes to be large, or are severely endo in their body type. Maybe they just haven't had that lightbulb go on over their head yet that said it was time to change. I am not skinny by any means, and I bet people think that I am too fat and need to lose weight. By looking at me, most people can't tell that I work out every day, run, lift weights, walk everywhere. Judging someone's fitness level and level of activity by their appearance will lead to a lot of erroneous and harmful assumptions.

As for the girl in the article, I would be remarkably happy if I was as beautiful as she is.

 

[rjroubi]

The model has a very beautiful face. Unfortunately, it's really the only thing nice I can say about the image. Seeing a picture of a young woman with unattractive belly rolls in a glamour magazine just doesn't give me any kind of warm fuzzies. Ick!

 

[ldy_solana]

The model has a very beautiful face. Unfortunately, it's really the only thing nice I can say about the image. Seeing a picture of a young woman with unattractive belly rolls in a glamour magazine just doesn't give me any kind of warm fuzzies. Ick!

well being a magazine i wonder how much of it is real or enhanced(its amazing how far these things will go to get coverage and boost business). and if she was standing up say in a nice two piece bathing suit if she would have looked different and would ppl have still made a big deal. now do this one fashion runway and maybe we can see some truth to the whole thing. it did seem more like loose skin that actual fat to me anyway but pictures are always not telling the other 1000 words.


kassia

 

[rjroubi]

well being a magazine i wonder how much of it is real or enhanced(its amazing how far these things will go to get coverage and boost business). and if she was standing up say in a nice two piece bathing suit if she would have looked different and would ppl have still made a big deal. now do this one fashion runway and maybe we can see some truth to the whole thing. it did seem more like loose skin that actual fat to me anyway but pictures are always not telling the other 1000 words.


kassia

Kassia, that's just so true! The image does seem overly exploitive to me as well. I still believe it's a horrible image and if I were the model I wouldn't want it shown. On the other hand, she's getting a lot of positive attention from women for that image. For some odd reason her body makes them feel better about themselves. I guess I just don't understand it and probably never will. Then again, I've never had a belly roll even while sitting down (and yes I've had a full term baby). The image is just icky.

 

[DirtDiva]

Kassia, that's just so true! The image does seem overly exploitive to me as well. I still believe it's a horrible image and if I were the model I wouldn't want it shown. On the other hand, she's getting a lot of positive attention from women for that image. For some odd reason her body makes them feel better about themselves. I guess I just don't understand it and probably never will. Then again, I've never had a belly roll even while sitting down (and yes I've had a full term baby). The image is just icky.

We're people before we're magazine snapshots, you shouldn't have to look perfect to be attractive and useful in this society. You are entitled to your opinion of course, but to me the words "horrible" and "icky" are harsh. And good on you that you had a baby without any deleterious after affects, but its left you without empathy for others.

 

[rjroubi]

We're people before we're magazine snapshots, you shouldn't have to look perfect to be attractive and useful in this society. You are entitled to your opinion of course, but to me the words "horrible" and "icky" are harsh. And good on you that you had a baby without any deleterious after affects, but its left you without empathy for others.

I said nothing about the woman being useful or needing to be perfect in this society. I just have no desire to look at her belly rolls in a "glamour magazine." Geeze. Yes, I do have a right to my opinion but you don't have the right to judge my empathy towards others based on my dislike of an image in a magazine. The image is distasteful and by the way I dislike certain artwork too (do you want to comment on that as well since you think you know me?).

 

[TeTe]

I guess I look "icky" too, 'cause my body is more like that model's than the women I usually see in "glamour" magazines. Hell, I wish I looked as good as her!

And, yeah, I'm pretty comfortable in my skin. I agree with another poster, as you get older, you just put things in perspective more. Sure, I want to have a good body (thankfully, my husband is the only person other than me who sees me naked, and he's happy with my body--happier than I am, I might add!) and it would be nice if my face didn't show as much age. But, that's just what happens. I refuse to spend that much time worrying about that kind of stuff. I do what I can, but I'm not going to let what I eat and how much I exercise cause me anxiety...isn't that a little counterproductive?

You know the main thing I notice in that photo is that she looks really happy! Now, maybe she's not really, and it's just a pose, but, she looks completely content with who she is. Kinda reminds me of the time that Jamie Lee Curtis posed for More magazine sans makeup and clothes. Her body was far from model-like, but she was so cute and looked like she was having so much fun!

 

[DirtDiva]

I said nothing about the woman being useful or needing to be perfect in this society. I just have no desire to look at her belly rolls in a "glamour magazine." Geeze. Yes, I do have a right to my opinion but you don't have the right to judge my empathy towards others based on my dislike of an image in a magazine. The image is distasteful and by the way I dislike certain artwork too (do you want to comment on that as well since you think you know me?).

Definition of empathy - noun

1. The intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.



rjroubi, you need to go back and read your post:

"I guess I just don't understand it and probably never will. Then again, I've never had a belly roll even while sitting down (and yes I've had a full term baby). The image is just icky.

By the definition above, I think I can judge you on this issue. I'll repeat myself...you have the right to your opinion and so do I. I feel that using the adjectives horrible and icky are too harsh (you can look those definitions up too). You said:

"For some odd reason her body makes them feel better about themselves. I guess I just don't understand it and probably never will."

You are also assuming that women feel better about themselves viewing imperfection in other women, something that doesn't make sense since by your own admission have never had a belly roll. You can find it *distasteful* and feel its unhealthy, and that people should aspire to a higher standard. I get that reasoning, and as a competitive cyclist who has raced off-road losing every ounce of unnecessary body fat can be paramount. What does that have to do with the woman in Glamour? Look at MeowRacer's photo's of female athletes, each one has a different shape all indicative to their relative sport. Those women don't fit into the perfect ideal that's blazed across magazines today. They are dedicated and train for their sport and should be admired for that, I can't imagine judging any of them because they may have a roll going on somewhere.

I don't know you personally but if you're going to post up with those initial words you used, you come across the wrong way to me.

 

[DirtDiva]

Kinda reminds me of the time that Jamie Lee Curtis posed for More magazine sans makeup and clothes. Her body was far from model-like, but she was so cute and looked like she was having so much fun!

I remember that article! Some television show had her on also, talking about that topic, her past movies and how she's evolved over the years. I can clearly remember thinking, right on woman!

 

[morningstar]

When someone works in an office and dresses like a tramp or a slob, I find it offensive. Also, if someone looks like they are trying too hard to be stylish, it seems like a cry of desperation and that there may not be anything of value going on in the brain.

Wow, that kinda seems like a pretty thin line people in your office would have to walk- don't try too hard, don't try too little! You're the Goldilocks of fashion- it has to be just right!

 

[rjroubi]

[/I]You are also assuming that women feel better about themselves viewing imperfection in other women, something that doesn't make sense since by your own admission have never had a belly roll. You can find it *distasteful* and feel its unhealthy, and that people should aspire to a higher standard. I get that reasoning, and as a competitive cyclist who has raced off-road losing every ounce of unnecessary body fat can be paramount. What does that have to do with the woman in Glamour? Look at MeowRacer's photo's of female athletes, each one has a different shape all indicative to their relative sport. Those women don't fit into the perfect ideal that's blazed across magazines today. They are dedicated and train for their sport and should be admired for that, I can't imagine judging any of them because they may have a roll going on somewhere.

I don't know you personally but if you're going to post up with those initial words you used, you come across the wrong way to me.

I'll say it again....you don't know me so please keep your inaccurate assumptions and judgments about me to yourself.

 

[meowracer]

Robin - I think DirtDiva was saying just that - she doesn't know you but can only make assumptions about you based on what you write here. It would be sad for someone who is not the perfect weight/size to read this and interpret it the wrong way. Most people do have a roll somewhere, whether it be large or small. You are apparently very fortunate and if that is you in the picture on your profile page, then you are indeed blessed with some amazing abs. Most people don't have that, and I would think the magazine is following the Dove ad direction, to make the average woman feel comfortable in her own skin. It isn't the cover model look that we are accustomed to, the airbrushed girls who sometimes grace the magazines, but hopefully words like icky and gross can be replaced with beautiful and real, and we won't have girls by the truckloads suffering from eating disorders, trying to obtain something that isn't real to begin with, or if it is real, nowhere near average. It seems there are three types of girls/women in magazines who are naturally blessed with the perfect body, then there are more girls who work their tails off at the gym and eat the perfect diet to obtain "perfection" for a shoot, and finally there are the girls who starve themselves to work the runway. It would be nice if society would accept all shapes and sizes.

 

[toffeedog]

Meow. Are you sharpening the claws?

 

[Katerchen]

Quite honestly:

I am surprised by how many women seem to care about how other women look/what other women do, etc.

What other people do usually does not effect me, especially if it is just their apprearance. How should your gut affect me? Why should your pantyline make me lose a thought about it? Why should I worry about your crooked toes in the flip flops? My life is too full to worry about stuff that does not have a direct impact on my life.

I thought by the time women graduate High School they would lose the notion of nit picking other women to death. I hope this shallowness is not part of the American culture because this is not worth to be passed along from generation to generation.

 

[Gayle]

Robin - I think DirtDiva was saying just that - she doesn't know you but can only make assumptions about you based on what you write here. It would be sad for someone who is not the perfect weight/size to read this and interpret it the wrong way. Most people do have a roll somewhere, whether it be large or small. You are apparently very fortunate and if that is you in the picture on your profile page, then you are indeed blessed with some amazing abs. Most people don't have that, and I would think the magazine is following the Dove ad direction, to make the average woman feel comfortable in her own skin. It isn't the cover model look that we are accustomed to, the airbrushed girls who sometimes grace the magazines, but hopefully words like icky and gross can be replaced with beautiful and real, and we won't have girls by the truckloads suffering from eating disorders, trying to obtain something that isn't real to begin with, or if it is real, nowhere near average. It seems there are three types of girls/women in magazines who are naturally blessed with the perfect body, then there are more girls who work their tails off at the gym and eat the perfect diet to obtain "perfection" for a shoot, and finally there are the girls who starve themselves to work the runway. It would be nice if society would accept all shapes and sizes.

Well said, Shana.